Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Subject: Bodybuilding for love)

I am an attractive woman, and I believe in staying in great shape. I lift weights at the gym and I have a bodybuilder shape. I have muscular arms and legs. Men have told me that no man wants a woman who is  a bodybuilder. Is that true and if so, why not?

Personally I think there’s something kinda sexy about a woman with little veins popping out of her neck and forehead… uh… okay…. well, maybe not… but there is someone out there for EVERYONE. I can guarantee you that there are men out there that would LOVE for you to flex “any” and “every” thing you got at them. Do you think you can do your ears? (ohhhhh…BABY!) I do have a question for you. Are you working out so much to appease yourself or the opposite sex? If you are working out just to make yourself feel healthy then it doesn’t matter what other people say. However, if you are working out with weights to appeal to men then it might be wise to re-consider. Think about it. Do most women like men whose chests are more developed than theirs? From what I have gathered, a lot of women think it is too much for a man to be extremely “buff”. If this can be the case for women, then you can only imagine what most men would think about women whose arms are bigger than theirs. Plus it has been commonly known that the ideal woman for “most” men is one who at least “appears” somewhat “delicate” (even though there is something about that little “vein” thing that just turns me on…).  Men like to lead and be looked to for their “strengths”. A man might feel awkward if he has to turn to his woman for strength. Being “buff” does has it’s advantages, though. If your man gets out of line you can beat the living CRAP out of him (and he’ll probably LOVE it when you do). Both of you can have little contests to see who can actually sound more like Barry White. Okay, all joking aside, your first responsibility is to YOURSELF, and keeping healthy should be a priority for everyone. However, if you want to be appealing, then make sure you have an understanding as to what constitutes “appeal”… and don’t you start flexing that vein at me like that. You know I’m at a weak time in my life. Phantom Poet? PLEASE help me out here….

I like to lift weights and I like to show off my stuff

Why bother being sexy when it’s easier to be buff?

You can say what you want, I know I look great

and for those men who disagree, I’ll knock them out… straight!

There are a LOT of women out there that wish they could look like me

I’ve developed arms, abs and an Adam’s apple, you see

It works for my man, and he loves it just fine

and if he don’t, then I will kick and whip his behind

There are certain advantages to a woman  having muscle

because I always win whenever you and I tussle

Having strength gives me the leeway to see this struggle through

because when I win, you can bet you win too

So accept the fact that I’m in charge and assume the position

because I aim to whup you into a submissive condition

You will do what I say, and go to any length

and you will tell me you love it, because I’m a woman… with strength…

Yet ANOTHER STRONG vision from the Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

Allyson Williams and Brett Jolly in concert

 

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Above and beyond the call of duty)

Subject: Above and beyond the call of duty

I can’t believe this. My man just came to me with a peculiar request. He wanted to know if I would have a threesome with him. He said that it had always been his fantasy to have one, and he wanted to know if I would grant him this favor. I was upset that he could even ask me to do that. I consider myself to be all one man could possibly need. Was I wrong to not even consider his wishes?

You may have been wrong not to consider bashing him upside his head for asking you! Just about everyone has different needs sexually but if he was that kind of “free spirit” then he shouldn’t be in a committed relationship with you. While he may have the right to ask you this favor he doesn’t have the right to expect anything like this of you. If he thinks you are NOT enough “woman” for him, then now might be the time to re-assess (and reconsider) your relationship with him. There are people out there who are into some really ODD sexual behaviors, and as bad as this one may seem I’m sure there are others out there who can probably “top” him (and probably “bottom” him too…). I always say that every request deserves at least some “consideration” but not necessarily “acceptance”. You can think about what he is asking for, but you should not compromise your own “morals” just to accommodate him… If you wanted to be malicious about it, you could certainly tell him “yes” as long as YOU are the one to choose the “other” partner. Then at that point you should choose another “male” friend, and see if his interest is still the same after that (smile). Everyone has their own “comfort zone” and if you feel that his request is outside of your boundary lines then you need to let him know that this is bothering you. If a “menage a trois…. uh,  manageable a try….uh…. THREESOME is what he wants, then he doesn’t need to be in a single “committed” relationship with you (and you most certainly you don’t need to be in one with him). NEVER feel bad about not wanting to compromise your own values. Once you compromise all that you believe in then you open yourself up to be controlled by anyone. Think about that “before” you cross the line… and while you are at it, think about this special word from the Phantom Poet:

Whenever my man adds one plus one, he keeps coming up with “three”

How in the Hell some other woman gets caught up in this mix is beyond me

He keeps asking me to grant him this one sexual favor

But he keeps requesting for me to engage in “abnormal” behavior

He says that if I truly love him, then I should have no problem accepting that

I said “Great, then will you kindly allow me to violate you with this here baseball bat?”

If we engage in a threesome, then I’d like to experiment this with you

That way you can get yours, and I can get “mine” too

If you want me to go outside of my comfort zone, then you should as well

And if this baseball bat should happen to hurt… hey, what the hell!

This is all for the sake of love, so please don’t scream too loud

One bat might seem like company, and two may be a “crowd”

This threesome idea of yours may not be such a bad plan

especially if I should chose our “other” partner to be another “man”

So be careful what you might ask for, for you may surely get it

As long as this all works out for me, then I guess I won’t “sweat it”

And if you get a very “uncomfortable sensation, please don’t holler or scream

Just let it “sink in” and enjoy this while you “take one for the team”

Yet ANOTHER fantastic masterpiece from the Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, you can  email me at Brett@Love-notes.co or you can access me through the web site WWW.Love-notes.co

The late Gerald Levert, Christopher Williams and Brett Jolly onstage

Gerald Levert, Christopher Wiliams and Brett Jolly onstage

Dear Brett,

Even though I have been in the dating scene for quite a while now, it still confuses  me. What do men look for when meeting a woman for the first time? What  would you consider to be the best way for a woman to make herself presentable? Are there certain things that turn men off that we should know of?

Absolutely! Just like women can get turned off by men, us men can get turned off by women. Each person is different, so it is difficult to say if each particular thing will work for everyone, but here are some of the stories that I have heard from other men (Yes, we talk too). First, if you are going to wear a weave, please do yourself a favor and make it LOOK like it actually “belongs” to your head. I have heard many stories from guys who said the actual weave ponytail was a DIFFERENT shade of color than her actual hair. How real is THAT? Also, if you are going to do the weave thing, at LEAST do a good job of “covering up the tracks” in your hair. Every time I go to McDonald’s and the young girls put their heads down to put money in the register I would see “tracks for days” along with spots that seem to resemble “glue.” Also, there is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, but PLEASE make it so that a man can see your face in there “SOMEWHERE”… I have seen women who look like PACMAN from having so much makeup on. Most women  have their own “natural” beauty. At least let “some” of it come through so that the man can recognize you the very next time he sees you. As for the way you dress, well, you should be able to figure this one out. If you are a voluptuous woman but want a man to get to know your mind, then by all means dress appropriately. There is NO WAY in Hades that a man is going to think about your mind when your cleavage drops all the way down to your “navel”. Men are very “visual” and if you are exposed in that manner then you shouldn’t blame him for staring “down” all night. There are proper ways to accent your body without having to look “hootchy”.  A man’s first impressions are just like yours, and if all he sees are your “girls” hanging out, then that is the vision he is going to take back home with him (He might not even remember your name by the time you are finished). If you want classy dialog from him, then by all means dress “classy”. Also, if you are someone who talks a lot, then make sure that you “listen” as well. NO man wants to be with a woman who talks so much about herself that he can’t get a word in. You’ll know you are talking too much when the man gives  you that “Please shut up, beautiful woman” look. Above all, remember that some of the same things you might be looking for in a man might be the same things he is looking for in “you.” Once you start to think of things from that perspective, then it should be a lot easier for you to make yourself “presentable”. Smile, be yourself, and remember these famous words of the Phantom Poet:

I am going out on a date, but what in the world should I wear?

How about those low hanging jeans, which leaves the crack of my behind bare?

That way every time I bend over, I know he is going to “inspect”

and that way he should learn more about my uh…..”intellect”(?)

My face is packed with powder, lipstick and mousse to show no wrinkle

But he is now saying that the moose I look like is “Bullwinkle”

I want him to know me mentally, so I have no intentions to flirt

He says” Say that again?” while trying to glimpse up my “extremely” short skirt

I can’t believe  he is being so disrespectful. I “do” have a mind

“Baby, from what I see you also have a nice thong on  your behind”

I am a very intelligent woman with class, and I want men to know them

“Then when it comes to those other assets, I shouldn’t have to show them”

First impressions are important….It tells who you really are

Whether you look like you belong in a fancy restaurant… or in a trashy bar

So if you want to make a good impression, then “dress to impress”

Otherwise, what he may be thinking might be “anyone’s” guess

Yet ANTHER startling revelation from the Phantom Poet

 

If you would like to feature a topic on my Daily Thought page, please email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: 30 year old virgin)

I want to know if being a virgin over the age of 30 is too old. Also, what’s your opinion of someone who’s over 30 and never had a girlfriend? I just couldn’t ever get a girl to stay interested in me.

A virgin after age 30? You should be a “human battering ram” by now. I can only feel sorry for the first woman you finally do get with, for you just might kill her! I don’t necessarily think you are too old, but I do think you are EXTREMELY rare.  Most people would probably have a lot of negative things to say about you, but I think it is very admirable and honorable to still be a virgin at your stage of life. As for never having a girlfriend, that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing either (just think of all the money you should have saved up by now). However, there “is” a problem if you can’t ever get a girl to stay “interested” in  you. In the real social world this means that you “might” have “issues”. If you are to ever court a woman you might want to look into how you can change or alter your circumstances and outlook. Of course, the biggest problem is being able to “recognize” what those “issues” are. As tough as this may sound, I would suggest contacting some of the women that you have had brief associations with in your life and ask them what they honestly thought of you. Since they were never interested in you in that way, they should have no reason to sugarcoat anything they say. If you can get “honest” feedback from them then it could possibly help you in the long run (providing you can actually invoke change). For the record, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin (hey, I was one once, but I got tired of “holding my own”…). However, if you want to truly end your “hitless” streak then some changes may be needed. In baseball, sometimes the hitter has to alter his stance. Also, the hitter may benefit from changing to a better “swing”… I don’t want to embarrass you about the issue of getting yourself a “bigger bat”… Above all, have confidence in yourself and don’t even contemplate the idea of “striking out”…. If you are unsure of yourself, then rest assured that other women will feel unsure about you as well. Be “comfortable” with who you are and how you want others to perceive you… Trust me when I say that there are some women out there who will love a man who has saved himself for the right woman (whether intentionally or not). Just do yourself a favor and dust off any cobwebs first (smile) and make sure to tell her to get hers “QUICK!” By the way, here is a quick and heart felt  response from the Phantom Poet:

I’m over 30 and yet I’m still a virgin
What can I do to help relieve this urgin”?
Most women I date never stay interested in me
and getting sex is an exercise in futility
Is it my breath or could I have BO?
Why these women don’t want me, I really don’t know
I think I dress nice, and I even starch all of my collars
Would it would help if I hit the lotto for a million dollars?
Whenever I’m with a woman, she always seems to frown
My luck is so bad that even prostitutes turn me down
When it comes to my love success, this much I have surmised
When I tell women I’m a virgin, they say “I’m not surprised”.
I need to spice my image up so I can make some advancement
I know! I think I’ll go and get some “male enhancement”
The surgeon says that he thinks he can more than double my size
“But Doc, that only amounts to 6 inches, still not  much of a prize
The doctor said he wants to do what he can, but this is kinda drastic
“I want to increase you, but I just don’t have enough plastic”
I guess I’ll just stay a virgin, and be doomed forever
Some professor just proclaimed my virginity to be a historical national treasure
He said “Your virginity is so old, that its now a monumental relic”
Your status will go down as the longest in history, the way I’ll tell it
So don’t feel too bad, for you are about to get seriously paid
Unfortunately, it STILL won’t help in getting you seriously “laid”

I guess it’s time for the “five fingered date” again…. The Phantom Poet

From the web site WWW.Love-notes.co

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Sharing obligations now)

I’ve been in love for nearly four years. And although I am no longer biologically fertile, I want to share my life with my man now. He keeps putting me off. He says he has other obligations. Well, I say rubbish…life will always be complicated with obligations. So, let’s just get on with it and share those obligations together…Isn’t that how Bob Marley would see it–One Love!

 

That was a great song. Life may always be complicated with obligations, but that doesn’t mean that you should get married “before” you both are “ready” for it Yes, four years is a good amount of time, and at this point the both of you should at least be “contemplating” the possibility of marriage together, but it is always important to make sure that as a couple you are absolutely “prepared” for it at the same time (not just when “you” are ready for it). In fact, it might be to your best interest to ensure that the conditions are at least suitable for you “and” him. As long as we all are human no conditions will be perfectly “ideal” but that doesn’t mean that you should ignore what he has to deal with either. A lot depends on the actual “excuses” he is giving you. If his obligations are ones that he just “cannot get around” then you need to pay attention, for his obligations will surely impact you (and your marriage) after your wedding. However, if his reasons are weak and shaky then it is possible that he is not being serious with you. A lot of people jump into marriages “before” they are fully ready and then suffer the consequences in the future. It is like jumping from one cliff to another. You want to make sure the “other” cliff is at least “there” and on firm ground “before” you make your leap. The same principle should apply to marriage. If you are going to contemplate a life of matrimony then don’t ignore the responsibilities that may make your marriage “difficult or impossible.” Continue to keep talking and working on it until you both feel more secure. I am not sure how Bob Marley would see it, but I do know that he’s dead now… Sharing obligations sounds great in principle, but that does not always “guarantee” an easy solution. Work it out between you both so that when those conditions get better you are more prepared to take that “next step”… “together”… Here is that lyrical reggae “mon” of poetry, the Phantom Poet:

 

I want to marry my man right now but it seems as though there is one hurdle

I want to share my life with him, although I am no longer biologically fertile

He keeps putting me off because of his other obligations

I want to get married now so we can share in those situations

We may not be fully prepared for it, but I want us to live as one

I am fully prepared to “jump the broom” as well as “jump the gun”

And if he doesn’t want to give in to my marriage whim

Then I am fully prepared to point that gun straight at “him”

I want us to be eternally happy together in matrimonial pleasure

I strongly suggest you give this consideration if your life you treasure

I am tired of sitting around the house alone dealing with boredom

And if you sign the pre-nup then once I shoot you can still marry me post mortem

Marriage is the musical accompaniment of life and right now I am the tuner

Please agree or “Until Death do we part” might come a little sooner

I know we both love each other and for us wedded bliss beckons

So I will give you plenty of time to think about it… “one minute, 20 seconds”

When it comes to having love in your life no one should ever be bereft

By the way, dear, you now have about one minute and 5 seconds left

Bob Marley sang “One Luv” and although I never had the chance to meet him

In about 50 more seconds you should have the opportunity to greet him

You just made the wise choice to marry me so we can now get our wedding vows on track

Oh, and the pastor is already here, because I had him tied up in the back

He now is VERY elated to perform the wedding ceremony between you and me

And at the risk of his own life he even offered to donate his services for FREE

Oh joy, we’re getting married. I can feel the love, the spirit and the laughter

And as long as I still own this gun, I can guarantee that we’ll live happily ever after….

 

“He loves me (POW!)… He loves me not (POW!)… The Phantom Poet

 

From WWW.Love-notes.co (Dedicated to the emotional needs of women)

 

The Soul Survivors (They sang the hit song “Expressway to your heart”) and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Child Support)

Dear Brett,

Recently the actress Halle Berry  was ordered to pay child support of $20,000 a month to her ex-husband Gabriel Aubry. She is the mother of her child so do you think it is right for a mother to pay child support?

 

I am NOT a big fan of child support for most people and I will tell you why. The court system is set up so that the parent who has to pay for the child has to give the money to the “other” parent. That would work out great if the other parent utilized that money correctly and “directly” towards the welfare of the child. Too many times the money goes to buying other things that have absolutely “nothing” to do with the child. For instance, many mothers take their “baby daddy” to child support for the sheer principle of “revenge.” Their main concern isn’t so much about the welfare of the baby, but rather making sure they “inflict as much damage as possible to” the other parent financially. It feels as though the same can be said for this case involving Halle and Gabriel. Yes, Halle made more money than him, but the child doesn’t need the money as much as she needs the love of BOTH parents. I wish the courts could ORDER both parents to act amicably towards each other (or if they can’t do that, then at least provide for the child’s expenses through a mediator). Even if parents can no longer get along they should never take out their personal issues on the child. I realize that divorces usually generate anger and resentment between both parties and most times it is difficult to put emotions aside. I have no idea if Mr. Aubry is employed or not, but I do know that their separation got ugly and he was the one who filed legal documents asking a judge to force Ms. Berry to give him $15,000 to $20,000 a month. What I would LOVE to see happen is for a court to “decide” exactly what expenses the child needs, and then appoint an overseer to make sure that the money taken from the other parent goes “directly” towards those expenses. Does anyone really “believe” that this baby uses up $20,000 dollars worth of baby items a month? I don’t… Once the other parent gets the money then they will use a small portion of it for the child and use the remainder for his or her own personal items. If the court wishes that the child (whose name in this case is Nahlia) to keep living in the surroundings to which she has become accustomed then the judge may as well order the couple to stay with each other in the house. That way the baby can hear all the screams and yells from the parents each night that she is accustomed to hearing.  I realize that in most cases child support IS needed (because one parent can’t do it alone and it takes two to make a child). I have no problems with the issuance of child support. However, rather than focus on a straight monetary monthly figure I would rather see money go “specifically” to pay for the items that the child “really” needs. That amount will vary as the child grows but it won’t be set on one “standard” figure. When it comes to the love of a child, there should be NO animosity. If feuding parents can actually put their issues aside, then they shouldn’t even NEED to go to court. Here is the Phantom Poet to take us off into the weekend. Have a great one:

 

When it comes to being parents for our child, you are and I am

But to take my child and make me pay $20,000 a month? Damn!

The court has ways to make people pay and the will of the court is strong

I just wish the court can find a way to force both parents to just “get along”

When divorce happens that usually means that the couple’s emotions have “boiled”

But 20 grand a month won’t guarantee a parent’s love, plus the child gets spoiled

It would be great for two supposedly mature adults to work out an agreement of sort

But too often both parents act like “little children” in court

Some monetary decisions are too much and excessive by far

You can tell because  the next day you might find the the other parent with a “new car”

A child will remember the days when Mommy stayed with Daddy and would always kiss him

But NONE of this comes into play when it comes to the child support system

They are only concerned with who is going to receive money and who has to give it

As far as anything else goes, what’s love got to do with it?

It would be great for parents to act civilly and NOT let their resentments show

But we all know that this isn’t really about the child, so off to child support court we go…

 

“I wish the baby could tell the parents to stop acting like children”… The Phantom Poet

 

Taken from the web site WWW.Love-notes.co (“Dedicated to the emotional needs of women”)

 

Verdine White (bass guitarist for Earth, Wind and Fire) and Brett Jolly

 

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Ignored at home)

Dear Brett,

 

Subject: Ignored at home 

 

My wife’s unmarried sister lives nearby and comes over a lot for dinner or just to hang out and watch TV. I like her, but feel like every time she and my wife get together they turn into teenagers giggling at inside jokes and watching reality television and generally ignoring me. How do I tell my wife that this hurts my feelings without sounding like a huge baby?

 

Make sure to put some “bass” in your voice whenever you speak… Most babies are born “tenors”, and cannot match the low tones of grown adults (Hey, you said you didn’t want to sound like a baby, right?)… Okay, let’s look at this… They get together, have a good time and you feel they are ignoring you. That may be so, but they are sisters and have obviously been that way most of their lives. Since your wife married you, she has already given you the ultimate form of attention by doing so. Personally, I can’t see anything wrong with them having a few laughs together and looking at television. If your wife’s sister stayed with you ALL the time (even through the nights) and your wife refused to sleep with you then you might have a grand case for feeling neglected, but I really don’t think you should take their actions so personally. You can always invite some of your male friends over one day to watch the game with you and subsequently ignore them in return, but otherwise you shouldn’t let their actions get to you.  Everyone needs a little space at times, so unless it presents a real problem to you I think you should just “let it go” (my old boss Teddy Pendergrass had a song with those lyrics in it…. remember “Love TKO”?). Of course, you are more than entitled to “private time” with your wife, and if her sister is constantly infringing on “that” then it may be time for some drastic steps. I think this Phantom Poet can put things in the proper perspective for you:

 

 

 

My wife and her sister always get together and ignore me

 

They laugh and joke with each other but have nothing for me

 

My wife’s sister is unmarried, so she has nothing better to do

 

I need to padlock my door, so her behind can’t come through

 

And then let my wife know that her sister can again return to this helm

 

Right after “icicles ornament Satan’s fiery realm”

 

Because this is MY house, and I want everyone to know

 

That when you are under my roof, I AM the main show

 

So in order to fix this, I’ll create my own way of prevention

 

I’ll walk in on their conversations nude… (Now THAT should get some attention)

 

And if you think you can ignore that, then expect much more from me

 

I’ll have sex with my wife on the couch, for her “shocked” sister to see

 

Maybe THEN you’ll get the hint, and formulate your own plan

 

“Stop hanging with my wife” and find yourself a man…

 

She became my possession at our wedding right after I kissed her

 

I never once heard the preacher say I was also marrying her sister

 

So please heed the advice of this here Phantom poem

 

When I want time with my wife, take your bored butt home…

 

My wife is NOT your private playmate, and I am NOR your door man

 

And I don’t need to have a “threesome”, because I only got “one” organ

 

Because our love is for two, and that’s what marriage is all about

 

So don’t let the doorknob hit you in the rear on the way out…

 

 

 

        Two is company, and three is a bother… The Phantom Poet

 

Featured on web site WWW.Love-notes.co (Dedicated to the emotional needs of women)

 

Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Love versus Lust)

Dear Brett Jolly,

 

There is this man that does not know me, and yet he keeps telling me that he is in love with me. I keep telling him that he is only in lust with me, but he keeps denying it and claims it’s love. Is there a difference and if so which one of us is right?

 

I would think that lust is purely physical whereas love should be everything (including spiritual, mental, social AND physical). Love should happen when you get to know someone’s ways and personality. Lust happens when you don’t know someone but have a very strong attraction. If this man doesn’t know  you, then he can’t possibly love you yet. However he can “lust” for you until the swallows come back to Capistrano.  He could swear up and down that he loves you, but he doesn’t know if you are a mass murderer or not. If he found out there you were one then I can guarantee that he wouldn’t “love” you so much. He might not “lust” for you so much either. In this situation you are right but chances are he won’t listen to you anyway. As long as “you” are able to make the determination then that is all that matters. You need to get to know HIM if you plan to take this any further. ALL men are “visual” in nature, but it is always important to get to know the person “beneath the surface.” If he can’t distinguish his own “infatuation” with you from love then you need to help him find that difference before taking this ANY further. Get him right and set him straight for the sake of you both. Here is the Phantom Poet to guide you along the way:

 

Baby, I love you and I guarantee it is surely NOT lust

Because I just “love” the way your shirt fits tight around your big bust

Any feelings of just “lust” for you have all systematically gone

Even though the way you are wearing that tight mini dress is surely turning me on

I can say that I love you just from your sexy appeal

And so what if it turns out all your hair is not real

I just know that you are the one I desire for my matrimony adventures

And is it true that all your teeth are in reality dentures?

I just know that when it comes to you nothing else really compares

And if I have problems remembering your name who really cares?

I just know that my physical attraction for you is strong, that’s what I’m thinking of

For me to feel this way towards you then it just HAS to be love

I just know that my love for you is absolute and so very complete

At least until I see the next woman wearing a short mini dress up the street

“So if some man doesn’t know you and says he is in love and not lust

You may want to reconsider before giving his credentials any trust”

Because when it comes to love or lust you just may truly find

That either way this man is out of his rabbit sized mind

 

“Presented in loving fashion” from the Phantom Poet

 

Featured on WWW.Love-notes.co

Chuck D (from the rap group Public Enemy) and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Anger Management)

Dear Brett,

 

Subject: Anger management

 

I am a twice divorced. I have been living with “Mickey” and we’re contemplating marriage. My older sister met him for the first time and insists that I abandon my marriage plans. She says that while she talked with him, she realized that he is controlling and possessive and angry. She’s convinced that he will ruin my life. I love my sister and not sure how to react to her phone calls. I have not discussed this with Mickey because I don’t want him to think poorly of my sister. I know he has problems, anger issues being one of them, and perhaps she’s right bout his being controlling and possessive. I’m not sure what to do here, Mickey wants to get married next month.  What should I do?                                     

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

 

                                                                                                                       

 

“When in doubt, take time out” (another small Phantom Poet moment there). If you already knew that he has anger management issues, then why would you even CONSIDER marrying this guy? Anger management means that he CAN’T CONTROL his anger, which also means that he won’t be able to control his anger towards YOU. If your sister can get that impression after only ONE visit with him then there might be more to this story than you realize. Your first mistake is in worrying about whether Mickey wants to get married next month. What do YOU want? What do you think will happen if you tell him that you need a little more time? Do you think he will get angry? If you do, then you already have your answer to this one. If my mother had named me after a Disney character then I would probably have anger management problems TOO… Mickey may very well be a time bomb waiting to explode, and from the things you have said it appears he may be more detrimental than sentimental… Abusive relationships consist of people with anger management problems. These people need a scapegoat when things go wrong, and a wife would make for a GREAT target. If you have ANY doubts about this one then by all means take more time to think this thing out. In the meantime, I have heard that baseball bats are GREAT for curing people with anger management. One good swing and they seem to forget what they are angry about. Please think carefully about this one. The future you save may just be your own. Now please welcome a thought provoking Phantom Poet moment:                                

 

                                                                                                                              

 

My man Mickey has issues with possessiveness and control

 

I think I would like for him to possess this here “bullet hole”

 

He gets mad a lot over the smallest little thing

 

He expects to get married next month and he gave me a ring

 

My sister is convinced that he will ruin my life

 

and I will end up being a battered and abused wife

 

She told me what she felt, and now I think I have a hunch

 

If I get a baseball bat today, maybe I can “beat” him to the punch

 

Think about it! His chances of hurting me will be extremely slim

 

If he thinks even for a moment that I am crazier than him

 

That’s it! I think I now know how to solve this problem

 

After a few swings, I’ll be “Batwoman, and his new name will be “Throbbin”

 

So should your husband ever become possessive and demanding

 

Get your “own” baseball bat, and welcome a “new” understanding…

 

                                                                                                                         

 

                                                                                                                       

 

“He loves me (Whack!)… He  loves me not (Whack!)… The Phantom Poet

 

If you would like to feature a topic for my Daily Thought, you can email me at Brett@Love-notes.co or go to my web site WWW.Love-notes.co

 

The Stylistics and Brett Jolly in concert

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Imaginary Test Drive)

I’ve been dating the same woman for nearly a year, and she says it’s time for us to decide if we want to spend our lives together. I do love her, but I cannot fully commit unless I’m sure this will work out. What do you suggest?               

 

 

 

Man, if you EVER tell a woman that you are still  “unsure” after being together for nearly a year your life could be in “serious” jeopardy. For the record, you are SUPPOSED to have all that stuff figured out BEFORE you reach your one year anniversary point (This doesn’t mean that you have to get married after only one year though, but it does mean that you should know whether or not she is at least marriage material). You should NEVER waste a woman’s time like that (Haven’t  you ever heard of “biological clocks” and “marrying while still in your prime”?). Once you say something like that to her you’ll see her pretty little face turn different colors, her eyes will roll back up into her head, smoke will erupt from out of her ears and she will speak with a voice lower than any other female OR male while she utters out the words “Hulk Smash”… and THEN after that she might get “REALLY” angry… Relationships are supposed to be built gradually, and you should learn more about each other as you grow and go along. There will always be potholes in the road occasionally, but it is how you handle those “potholes” that determine the true strength of your relationship (By the way, we have some really AWESOME sized potholes here in Philly…some big enough to house a family of “four”). You need to make an assessment of what you like and dislike about your relationship. She has every right to know what your intentions are, and a year is surely enough time for you to formulate at least some type of opinion. You should take what I call the “imaginary test drive”… You need to imagine what it would be like waking up to her each and every morning. You need to imagine what it would be like to come home to her each night. You need to imagine what it would be like growing old together with her. If she is indeed your friend as well as your lover then I am not sure of what else you possibly need to consider… Think things over carefully, and if it is not what you want then be man enough to let her go find someone more worthy for her… but if you realize that she is the one for you, then go “represent” and at least let her know that she IS the only one for you (She has the right to know how you feel about her)… and should you get married in Philadelphia, watch where you drive…. Here is a driving force from the Phantom  Poet:                                                                             

 

 

 

My lady and I, we have been dating for a year

 

and now she is saying “I want to get married, dear”

 

I don’t know if I am ready but she wants me to commit

 

I just don’t think I am ready for this here uh… “stuff”

 

If we are to be married, then I’d like to be sure

 

Hey, weddings cost money, and right now I is “poor”…

 

The thought of this makes me want to drink a tonic with rum

 

I just hope that this won’t stop her from still giving me “some”

 

She knows I love her, and I’d marry her in a hot minute

 

but right now I am having too much fun just trying to get in it

 

She wants to establish a marriage with her and me

 

but why buy the cow when you can get the “milk” for free?

 

but I love her, and she will always be my “Buttercup”

 

but now it seems that the price of milk has just “gone up”

 

“If you want some of this, well, then I’m about to get hyper

 

If you want to dance to the music, then you’d best pay the piper”

 

If I can’t get married, then I’ll at least get paid

 

So think heavily about that the next time you want to get laid”

 

It may be cheaper to keep her but it’s better to go get her

 

Otherwise in the end you will most certainly regret her

 

So if you have been dating for close to a year

 

then you’d better heed the advice that I’m handing out here

 

Don’t wait so long if you want to romance her

 

and make sure you say the right thing, when she needs to know the answer                   

 

 

 

                  “Now commit to THIS”…. The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to submit, you can email me at Brett@Love-notes.co or go to the email section of WWW.Love-notes.co

 

Holly Robinson-Peete and Brett Jolly performing at an outdoor wedding