Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought and new Music Video entitled “Broke”

I hope this works….I am new to this site, but for today I wanted to post my new music video dedicated to all those people who spend way too much over the holidays. This is a song I wrote/produced and it is intended for entertainment only as a fun little piece to hopefully bring a smile to someone’s face. If this works, then please take a moment to check out my new song and music video simply entitled “Broke.” I thank you for your time and wish you all a very happy New Year.

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Monday through Friday)

I published an article yesterday on “relationships” and how important communication is to keep them strong. I got an interesting anonymous response that I thought I would share with you today:

The answer to this is simple. Men do not value woman until their well runs dry. Remember your lost is another man’s treasure. When you see him valuing your treasure then you finally see the true gem she was and at that point you are the rusty cracker jack ring.

For the record, I do remember Cracker Jacks, but somehow I just don’t recall the “rusty Cracker Jack” ring (smile). Either way I felt this comment warranted interest so I am featuring it today. The first question I would like to ask would be “Are faulty relationships “solely” relegated to men “not” valuing women or can it be a characteristic of women as well?” I mentioned yesterday that when someone just shuts down and refuses to communicate then the relationship is in jeopardy. Are you saying that this is a trait that only applies to men or can women be guilty of these infractions as well? Also you say that men do not value women until their wells run dry. It sounds as though you are classifying ALL men in your statement. If so, do you think that is a fair generalization and do you know of any facts to support this? I do agree that one man’s loss can be another man’s treasure, but in life sometimes the novelty can wear off when it comes to the “best” of gems. I have also known of women who have rejected men only to later recognize their true value later on. Recognizing what you have is important in a relationship, but not everyone is “capable” of making the proper assessments. For instance, a child may not treat a parent properly and become disrespectful, yet should a tragedy befall that parent then it is quite possible that the child will suddenly “realize” just how “good” this parent was. I would think that “love relationships” could go the same route. So how do you value a mate without comparing him or her to others? The easiest thing to do is take what you “already own” for granted, but if you have not sampled the “other possibilities” out there then what measuring stick do you have to determine the true value of your present lover? Finally, just what “are” the values that determine the worth of a mate? Everyone is different. Is it in the money he or she makes? Is it in the status? Does it have everything to do with physical traits? I have heard women relate a “good man” to the amount of money he makes. I have heard men relate a good woman to how well she is built physically and her facial features. Both of these characteristics could turn out to be “temporary” as you go through life. What happens then, and what value do you place on your lover at that point once these traits are lost? For some reason the person who wrote this statement “feels” like someone who was “burned” in a personal relationship and now harbors some animosity towards men. That is understandable because when you “hurt” the pain can last a good while and it can be carried through other relationships as well. I just hope the “pain” this person is suffering doesn’t “cloud” his or her judgement when embarking on a new relationship. When you put up a shield it can deflect the bad things, but it can sometimes deflect the good things as well. I still say that communication is the key (and that involves listening “as well” as talking). When your emotions dominate over the rationality to communicate then chances are the conversation could be lost. Whenever you need to, take the time needed to “cool off” and then come back to the table. To this person I will just say that “none” of us are perfect and “everyone” is capable of making mistakes. A couple can go through breakups, but through proper communication you just “might” make love even better the “second” time around… However, once you “shut down” then ALL possibilities are abolished. Thank you for submitting this response and I hope that through good communication we all can find the happiness we seek today. Have a “jolly” day and we cannot close without having a startling revelation from that lyrical jihad known as the Phantom Poet:

For the life of me I just cannot figure out the reason why
They say that men don’t value women until their wells run dry
It has been widely stated that “men are from Mars and women from Venus”
And women love through emotion while a man thinks with his penis
Why in the world is it so difficult for men and women to see eye to eye?
And can a man love an ugly woman and can a woman love a poor guy?
And when in a relationship how can you determine your mate’s measure?
And why wait until that mate is lost and becomes someone else’ treasure?
That’s because what you “see” can often determine how love will begin
When the fact of the matter is that the true person is the one “within”
Relationships come and go and this is a fact worth stating
but they can last longer as long as you both are communicating
You can iron out differences and bad feelings will no longer linger
but good communication doesn’t mean giving someone the finger
Some people don’t know what to say and they don’t know how to start
But all you need to do is express yourself from your mind and your heart
For a man, if your woman has a cute little rump that you simply adore
You “hate” to see that rump leave for the last time through your door
So communication and value are important to help keep a relationship sound
And realize that through talking love can be even better… the “second” time around..

“How about we’re BOTH wrong…okay?” The Phantom Poet

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (from Monday through Friday)

Relationships: Why is it that they can go so well and yet turn so quickly? Two people can be practically “made” for each other and yet with one small misstep they can both end up breaking apart quickly. What is it about relationships that can make them go to such different extremes? A lot seems to depend on what the values are. It is admirable to want to spend time with the one you love, but it helps to realize that it can’t always be a “given.” Everyone should have responsibilities (Trust me, I most certainly know) and yet when you tend to those responsibilities your mate may not want to understand. Everyone has needs, and when those needs don’t get met then that is when a relationship can turn “sour fast.” I have recently heard stories about couples breaking up over things like “Christmas gifts” to “availability.” Yet when you compare the other moments of these relationships everything seemed fine and great. Being in a “real” love relationship means overcoming the obstacles “together” that are barriers and understanding that sometimes there is a difference between the “deed” and the actual “thought behind the deed.” It is easy to judge if someone forgot your anniversary or birthday, but it is a much more formidable task to take the time to “understand” why that happened. Also, it is important to evaluate the heart of your mate before passing judgement. Will he or she normally do things for you that involve extra effort? If you were in an emergency could you count on your mate? If the answer to either of these questions is “yes” then you should know that you have someone who cares about you. That is the most important fact you need to know in a relationship. The people I recently talked to said that they couldn’t understand why their mates turned on them. Each had a different story to tell, but the bottom line is that they both believed that what happened to them was “so” unnecessary (and they were probably right). If “one” mistake can ruin a relationship then it doesn’t say much for the strength of that relationship (unless, of course, we are talking about infidelity).  EVERYONE makes mistakes because none of us are perfect, and in relationships there will always be disagreements, because each of us are different in nature. One small moment of emotion can kill the love between two people, especially if communication just breaks down and no one wants to talk about anything. No relationship can survive without communication, and yet some people will just automatically “shut down” and make their own assessments without even discussing or evaluating the problems. That will never make a relationship better. I won’t go into the details of what was told me recently, but I will say that if you truly value your relationship then you owe it to your mate to at least discuss what you feel and why you feel it. Since none of us are perfect, no relationship can be perfect. If you cannot take the time to understand each others world then that could make your partner think that you don’t care about his or her responsibilities. That can be hurtful. To the people I talked to, I hope that their partners come to see the “overall” picture and realize that you can overcome obstacles if you think and work together. If you just throw your hands up in the air and “give up” then you will never be capable of forming a long lasting relationship. That is a fact… While love is beautiful, love can also be devastating… It is how you handle love that determines who YOU are… If you truly value your lover, then you can make a difference in your relationship. Sometimes it can’t hurt to “reach out.” I hope that your day is excellent and that all is “jolly” in your world. Thank you and have a great one today.

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (from Monday through Friday)

Mr. Jolly, my car is just about brain dead. It has been paid off and I want and need a new one. I hate going to car dealers because they can be so shifty at times. I don’t want to sound negative, but I need a new car. Do you have any advice that you can give me?

On this earth there are varmints and vermin. In between the two of these are “car salesmen.” When you are in a rush, they will keep you waiting for hours.  They  will always ask you what you “want” your payments to be, but always seem to go over what you desire. They will ALWAYS try to get  you to buy their car that evening because they don’t want you going to another dealer and getting a better price. Right after disappearing for the 3rd straight time, the salesmen usually come back with their manager so they can both double team you into buying the car. They talk to each other in front of you so that you can hear how they manage to sell their cars so low. If you do manage to leave the dealership they will ask you for a couple hundred dollars so that they can “hold” the car for you (even though we all know that even if you give them money up front they will “still” sell your car right from under you anyway. Yes, car salesmen are “special” but it is quite possible to beat them at their own game. It is known fact that women who show up with a man tend to get a better deal as opposed to women who show up alone. Also, it helps to know the car you want before going into the dealer. Know the estimated miles per gallon, the price and the special features. Set your “ceiling” payment per month and make sure that the payments they come up with don’t exceed what you can afford. It is also important to calculate your insurance payments into the equation, because in some places those payments can equal the cost of another car. Having an online computer can be your best friend, because you can “Google” consumer comments on the vehicle and know what to look out for. Also check to see if you qualify for financing someplace else, like a credit union. As you can see, the best way to deal with car salesmen is to come “prepared and knowledgeable.” They can only get over on those who don’t know any better. Car salesmen usually get paid a commission on what they sell, so naturally they would sell their own grandmothers into slavery to make a deal. Always do your homework before going into the dealer and always be prepared to leave if you don’t get the right deal for you. They will do whatever they can to keep you as long as they can, but the truth is that they cannot stop you from walking out the dealership. Keep this in mind and it should make your visit a little more “tolerable.” Good luck and if you get something nice come get me and take me for a ride around the block. Here is a personal testimony from that Oscar winning rabbit, the Phantom Poet:

In life there are con artists, quack doctors, scam people and fake healers
But in this same category you may also find car dealers
They keep all kinds of artifacts on their showroom and shelves
They still from the rich and poor and they keep for themselves
There is always a big difference between what they say and what they meant
Even though what they paid for the cars is only about 50 per cent
They try to convince you that they are looking out for you and that they have a good heart
but soon as you buy the car and leave the lot, then the whole thing begins to fall apart
They will continually call you to make a deal and bug you to no end
But once you  make a deal and need a repair you will never find them again
If you are not prepared when going to a dealer, then you are buying at your own risk
And if the car dealer gets over on you, then shame on him (tsk tsk)
They try to sell you warranties on  everything from the seats to the tires
But the whole car will crumble into dust once that warranty expires
And the value of the car is always high once their sales pitches begin
But just see how worthless that car is once you try to trade it back in
Yes, we all love car salespeople. They work by design
So check out the car, leave the dealer, and then go buy it… “online”

How does he do it? Yet ANOTHER remarkable revelation from the Phantom Poet

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

The holidays are here and Christmas day 2011 has just passed. While there were many joyful smiles there were also many people in depressed states. Dealing with the crowds, dealing with the commercialism and dealing with limited budgets took a toll on a lot of people. Granted, it is tough to keep up with the demands of what one is “expected” to pay when buying a present, but it should be about more than just “spending money.”  For a minute, I was actually feeling a little funky about the holiday spirit myself, but then I had to take a moment to really reflect. I have my health, I have my family, and I still have my mental facilities about me (Some people may seriously contest this “last” statement). During this recession many  have struggled just to stay afloat. I know of someone who recently lost her job and her little 7 year old did not get anything this year do to lack of funds and lack of spirit. I don’t need to give you the spiel about how this holiday is supposed to be the “Celebration of Christ.” Most of you have heard this before and hearing it again still won’t ease the burden of finding something affordable for the loved ones in your life.  No, we need to accept the fact that giving gifts is great, but it doesn’t always give us the joy in our hearts that we seek. For instance, someone may give you a gift that might be in the “hundred” dollar range. If you give that person a mere $10 gift in return then there is a good possibility that “feelings may be hurt.” For those who are feeling the “financial” sting of Christmas I would like to say that I understand (and I think a lot more people do as well). I cannot tell you how to properly afford the things you want when the money is not there. I can, however, alert you to the fact that if you are able to read this article, then you are blessed (because not everyone today was even able to wake up). If you can smile, talk, move and live with a roof over your head, then that IS your blessing. There are MANY people who would love to trade places with you right now, no matter how bad your circumstances may seem to you. We may not be able to afford this pastime, but that shouldn’t stop us from “the spirit.” If you are broke, raise your hand and party like you just don’t care, but love yourself, love the people in your life and love the spirit of what this holiday has intended to bestow upon us. It is not a crime to be “poor” and I am sure you are still loved “anyway.” Also, if you find it difficult to find a smile today, please look me up, and I will gladly give you one of mine. Thank you for reading this today, and I wish you the best today that life has to offer…Image

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Monday through Friday)

 

Mr. Jolly, 

I have a strange situation that I hope you can help me with. 

Me and my friend, (I’ll call her “Jane”) have been friends for about 3-4 years.  We are both single women that would like to be in a committed relationship with a man.  My friend, about a year ago, had a bad breakup after about 5 years with a man and is VERY anxious to get into another relationship.  I try to warn her to give herself time to heal so she doesn’t carry old baggage into a new relationship but she rejects my good advice. Also, my friend is a bit “over-sexed”.  A few months ago I met a nice man who I’ve been seeing regularly but now we’re experiencing some challenges that make it difficult for us to spend time together. Jane knows about these challenges and seems sympathetic about how I feel and says that she would like to help.  Fast forward:  It turns out that Jane somehow got a hold of my phone when I wasn’t aware, found my boyfriend’s phone number and called him trying to “help me out” by telling him how much I miss him.  From then on, she has been contacting him regularly (behind my back) trying to get him to go out with her.  I found this out one day when my boyfriend asked me, “Hey, what’s up with your girl calling me?” Since he told me that, I’ve noticed for a while now that she always seems so preoccupied and doesn’t call or hang out with me as much – almost like she’s been avoiding me.  I spoke to Jane about the distance I’ve noticed between us and that I know about her calling my boyfriend and that I didn’t like it.  She denied the “distance” and said that they are “just friends, that’s all”.  My boyfriend also says the same thing, “just friends”.  I don’t have a good feeling in my gut about this.  What do you think I should do? Jane and I are no longer close friends. My boyfriend tries to avoid the subject about Jane when I bring up her name. Do you think he’s got something to hide?

Even though you have no “tangible” proof, I do believe that something is not right here in Wonderland. First, if your girlfriend wanted to help you out by talking to your boyfriend, why did she have to sneak to get his number out of your phone? Why couldn’t she have just asked your permission up front? You see, when people have to sneak then that means they ALREADY know that they are doing wrong. Jane had no intentions of helping you, but she surely had intentions of helping herself to your man. The last thing you need is for your boyfriend to get calls from “oversexed” women on the rebound. The reason Jane avoided you is because she knew what she was doing was not right. The key here is in the “challenges” you are now experiencing in your relationship with your boyfriend. It is quite possible that your friend Jane has “sampled” him in “some” form or other and they both are lying about it. You could put a lot of effort into trying to find out what’s going on behind your back or you could distance yourself from both of them while searching for someone “better.” If your boyfriend really values you like he should, then he will “find” a way to make sure you don’t exit his life. If he doesn’t make the effort, then it won’t matter who else he is dating because he obviously is not “the one” for you. It is better for you to find out about it now rather than down the road. If this relationship is not working out right, don’t waste your time trying to “resuscitate” it. You are much too pretty a woman to have to deal with other people’s drama. The pressure should “not” be on “you” to fix your relationship. If he wants to save it, then put it all on him to do so. His efforts will tell you all you need to know about just how much he cares (and you DON’T have to give him a long time to get his sh#$ together). Good luck to you and I wish the best of holidays to you. We can’t let you go into the holiday without a heartfelt verse from the Phantom Poet:

I thought I had a good friend and her name was Jane

But her deceitful tactics were obviously not so “plain”

She said she was trying to help my relationship, but she showed no tact

And she even tried to get with my boyfriend behind my back

I was sad about this and it was betrayal that I obviously felt

This woman needs to have a “toll booth tunnel” sign hanging from her belt

This woman has issues and she is surely oversexed

When it comes to finding new friends, all I can say is “Next”

I smell something funky and it is starting to disturb

It might be time to kick both their behinds to the curb.

She seems like a liar and right now I don’t believe her

And he really hasn’t’ been on top of his game either

It just might be time for me to go find another

And leave the both of them to eventually cheat on each other

If they both value me, then they will work hard to alleviate all doubt

In the meantime I hope the doorknob doesn’t hit their behinds on the way out

I value a good relationship that is “great” for my mind and health

And if I’m going to do “bad” then I can surely do so… by “myself”

This whole situation has a funky vibe and a disturbing “aura”

So I will alleviate the smell and tell the both of them… “Sayonara”

 

“Yet ANOTHER amazing masterpiece from the Phantom Poet”

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, just email me at Brettjolly@aol.com or at Skype, username Brettjolly1.Thank you and have a truly “jolly” holiday and weekend.

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

Mr. Jolly, I have a family member who I believe is bipolar. She frequently goes from “high” to “low” easily.  Her  mood swings are real tough to deal with and can happen at any time. What advice can you give me on how to handle someone who is bipolar?

“Run”…. run like “hell”… I think we ALL know people just like this. Many people have been diagnosed with bipolar traits (otherwise labeled as manic depression). When you deal with a bipolar person, you never know what to expect and neither does your bipolar friend (or in this case, family member). I always say that the best way to handle “both” characters inside one body is to “invite” them both out to dinner and have the identities get into a fight with each other. Since they are both equally as strong they both will win, thus canceling each other out. Seriously, chances are you are stuck with “both” of them and you are just going to have to be prepared for handling it. It helps if you are able to “recognize” the symptoms, though. The unfortunate thing is that most bipolar people don’t recognize how they are, because their depression won’t allow them to. Sometimes with depression a person has to conjure up his or her own world of perfection (How many of you already know people like this?). The worst part about dealing with a bipolar person is that it is very difficult for you to control him or her and it is difficult for the person as well. They cannot control themselves so if they have a fit just about “anything” can happen. Bipolar disorder affects 10 million people in America and is easily common in men and women. It is often a lifelong condition of extreme and irrational highs along with depression. In some instances it can even develop into a suicidal stage. No actual “cause” of this condition has been discovered by scientists. Treatment usually comes in some form of anti-psychotic drug administered by doctors (a mood stabilizer) and sometimes hospitalization. Your family member just might have the symptoms of being bipolar and if so you will need to be cautious in how you handle him or her. Consult a physician (or just look it up online) so that you can have a better understanding of what and “who” you are dealing with. It always helps to become more familiar with the situation when trying to deal with it. Good luck to you, and here is the Phantom Poet’s alter ego, “Benny”:

If your woman is wild and you often find you cannot control her
Might be best to leave her alone because she just might be bipolar
Bipolar can’t be extinguished through instruction or even classes
But it will increase your desire to want to kick “both” their asses
This person will often go to extremes and before their tantrum is done
You will find that you’ll have two… two… two “nuts” in one….
With a manic depressive you can’t focus on what was said
but while one may be innocent the other might be a freak in the bed
It may not be that bad to deal with but watch out if your woman starts to say:
My name may be Linda, but my alter ego is “Ray”
It is bad enough when these personalities are double
but when they switch from woman to man then you “really” have trouble
Just remember that it is what it is and it was what it was
And above all “crazy will do what it do and it does what it does”
Learn to love both personalities and be happy. Rejoice!
And just accept them both (like you really have a choice)
Because with a bipolar person you never know “who” you are getting
Everyone who is reading this knows a bipolar person I’m betting
Because when dealing with an alter ego it is only a matter of when
Beat down the first personality, wait, and then beat the second one down again
Because multiple personalities will always leave the currently identity in doubt
So try not to lose your mind and just throw “all” her personalities out
Trying to make sense of all of this is a possibility that is very “slim”
So just remember that when dealing with “her… and him”…and “her… and him”

The Phantom Poet (s?)

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, just contact me and I will be glad to do so.

For entertainment purposes ONLY! Brett Jolly assumes no responsibility or liability for damages or consequences resulting from his Daily Thought.

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