Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“If I could visit the past to talk to myself”)

If you could go back in time to actually “have a discussion with yourself,” what would you say? I took a walk yesterday and actually pondered this question. Of course, no one can rewrite past history, but we can always continue to learn from it. I do remember when I was 10 years old I never wanted to grow up to be an adult. I thought that being an adult was going to make me “too square” or too “nerd-ish.” I couldn’t wait to be old enough to drive and I planned on being a “professional basketball player.” I would wake up at 6:00 in the morning and go across the street to play basketball ALL day long. My mother would have to come over to the courts at sunset to get me and bring me home. I didn’t care for girls much, if at all. They were too mushy for me. I wanted to go outside  at night and play with the older boys who were roaming the streets and forming gangs, but my parents would not let me out of the house that late at night. At my present age, I see why and I thank them so much for guiding me in that way. It is difficult to remember all my feelings at that age, but I really  wished back then that I could have had a discussion with a much more grown up version of myself. If that could have happened, then what would I have said to me? The older me probably would not have divulged  much to the younger me about the things that were going to happen in life, because if you could change one small thing in your own past it just  might have an extremely adverse effect on the person you are now. You see, all of our experiences (whether good or bad) combine to make us the people we are today. If you are brought  up around  hatred and violence, then  that becomes your world. No one who is born can survive without the help of someone to guide that life and those people influence how we are. If I could talk to a much younger me, I would simply say that while the  world may  not always seem fair, it is what you put into your life that determines what you get out of it. I would tell myself to “not worry” about other people who don’t care about you or hate you for their own personal reasons. I would let myself know that God may  not always give us what we want but he will often give us “what we need.” Finally, I would let myself know that even though the future will  NOT be perfect, it will at least be good enough to warrant making the journey. If there is anything that I would guide myself on, it would be one small “directive.” That directive would be to “Thank  your parents for a job well done…” You don’t have to be rich to be successful. You don’t have to be famous to be loved. To make it in this world you only need to be “true to yourself.” THAT is what  I would tell myself if I could go back in time… I realize that I will never be able to go visit the past, but I also realize that life is “by no means over.” With whatever time I have left on this realm, I will continue to strive for excellence in all I do. You get one life… Make it count for “something.” Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer today.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Rapper Chuck D (from the hit rap group “Public Enemy” featuring Flavor Flav) and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“A performance with Chuck D, lead rapper from Public Enemy”)

Of course, I am a musician, and being a musician I normally play for “artists who sing.” I know firsthand that most rappers apply their artistry to the aid of a track when doing live performances. Of course, some rappers, like Jay-Z and Eminem, will have musicians onstage who will actually “play along with the track,” but that’s about the extent of it. A couple of years back I had heard that I was going to play for some kind of award show, and when I asked about the artists I was to play for the name “Public Enemy” came up… For any of you who are into the “vintage” rap scene, Public Enemy delivered hardcore lyrics with substance and told it like it was from their perspectives. Chuck D, the main rapper, was straightforward with his lyrics while his partner, Flavor Flav, was the filler man. Well, during this time, Flavor was riding his own wave of success and was involved in some hit TV series entitled “Flavor of Love,” which featured many single women actually vying for the love of this rapper. So basically I had to play for the one main guy from this dynamic duo, and that was Chuck D. Now I had some experience before playing for a rap group. Once there was this other hardcore group called “The Lords of the Underground” and they needed a band to play along with the track. It was the most “uncomfortable” gig I ever had. You see, rappers have their own vibe about them. They rarely ever get dressed up to perform onstage and most times they have to display a certain nasty attitude to exemplify their music. I was dressed up onstage, and these guys were rapping with tattered jeans and looking like they wanted to rob me rather than perform with me. One guy was about 7 feet tall and looked extremely thuggish. Anyway, I played the song while these guys walked all around me onstage. I will never forget that experience. As for this particular gig with Chuck D, it was the exact opposite. I figured that he would have been one of those ignorant rappers who had to maintain the thug mentality no matter what, but I found Chuck to be anything but. He was very mannerly, knowledgeable and sophisticated, and we talked a lot about different things. I asked him how it felt to be performing without his partner and he just said that he was glad for the fame that Flavor was getting. If you were to meet this guy and have a conversation with him you probably wouldn’t even think that he rapped at all. That was how pleasant he was. The funny part was, I asked him if I could take a picture with him (even though I cannot find that picture today). He was smiling and seemed almost nerd-ish, but when it came to taking the picture he immediately put his “serious” rapper face on. I loved it… When it was time to perform, we did his hit song “Fight the Power” and even without his companion it went “great.” My experience with Chuck D showed me that you don’t always have to judge a personality by the surface alone. It was refreshing to meet and work with him, and I hope you don’t mind me sharing my experience with you today. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always, I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com
Email: Brettjolly@aol.com
Skype: Brettjolly1

Chuck D and Brett Jolly in concert performing “Fight the Power”

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: A new supervisor who is clueless)

Dear Brett Jolly. We have a supervisor that is relatively new and doesn’t have much of a clue as to  how things work. She came in throwing her weight around telling us that she was going to get this unit working properly. Well, there  never really “was” a problem with the unit. All of us have always worked hard and did our jobs the way we are supposed to do them. Our recent supervisor moved so they brought in an outsider who thinks she knows everything when she really doesn’t know anything. We try to accommodate her but she is really starting to get on our nerves. We already know what to do, and her way is nothing but confusing. We have been here for years before her. How do you think we should handle this?

A great leader is only as great as his or her ability to “listen” to the people that he or she leads. If a boss has the disposition that it’s “My way or the highway” then he or she will lose credibility fast (as well as personnel). If she acts as though she doesn’t want to hear what you have to say then I strongly suggest that you start documenting “everything” that she says and does. “Someone” in a higher authority than her had to hire her, and those are the people who need to know about her misleading ways. You may need to record her through  tape or video to have proof, because a supervisor like that is one  who will take ALL the credit when things go  great, but NONE of the blame when things go wrong. Since you have been there for many years you should already know how things are supposed to be run. All of you can request a meeting with her (but it has to be a meeting with everybody, otherwise she may feel as though you are the one being personally insubordinate…) Staff meetings are ways to improve the quality of the atmosphere in the work place, and if you all come at her with your concerns then she “should” take heed (and hopefully discover some of the things that she really doesn’t know about this job). In many workplaces bosses are often hired who don’t have a clue as to how things work. They start throwing their weight around because they “have” to do “something.” If you leave this behavior unchecked then chances are it “won’t” get better anytime soon. If you can get a staff meeting, that would be a “great” start. Good luck to you, and have a great day.

 

WWW.Brettjolly.com

From the rap group “Public Enemy,” lead rapper Chuck D and Brett Jolly doing “Fight the Power” in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: President’s State of the Union Address)

Along with millions of other Americans last night, I watched President Obama’s “State of the Union” address. There were many moments of applause, standing ovations and moments of inspiration in his speech. Whenever I watch an event I have this habit of “never” taking things at “face value,” so I am always attempting to look “beneath the surface” at what’s “underneath.” I don’t think anyone can argue the fact that the President is a great speaker, and as the leader of our country that is what most people need to hear. The issues that struck home for me most were immigration, less dependency on oil, reviving the economy and of course, gun control. I liked what he said about making cars more “fuel efficient” and utilizing more oil from our own areas. I believe that for me and “other” members of the “middle class” the recession gets “strained” each and every time the price of “gas” goes up. For example, a man who drives delivery trucks for a living has “mileage expenses” and whenever the price of gas increases then that means it is eating into “somebody’s profits.” That is usually when the cost of gas is reflected by an increase in pay for “his” services (which, of course, affects other people’s costs, and then inflation results). As a musician, I often have to travel by car to paid engagements. Naturally, if the cost of travel is so high that it “negates” a lot of the money I make then in those instances it is not worth the effort. As the cost of gas remains the “foundation” for how a lot of people operate their lives, it might be safe to even say that as gas prices go, so goes the economy. If we can find a way to lower the cost (or our dependency) on gas it could make a great difference. As for employment opportunities, many of us have become victim to “technology.” For instance, the introduction of the “internet” has taken a “hit” of those who work at the post offices. People don’t need to mail as many letters, because it is more efficient to use “email.” Technology has affected other employment areas as well. When seeking a job today, in most places you no longer get to speak to a representative. Instead they tell you to fill out an application “online.” As for immigration, while there are a lot of people that entered the country illegally, MANY of them have contributed to the “base” of our economy. Whenever I do gigs in Atlantic City, I always notice the “large” number of foreign workers in areas like the kitchens and related areas. I surmised that these people are willing to work hard but also do so at a cheaper cost (and that is why I think there were so many of them). While I commend President Obama’s idea of raising the “minimum wage” it sounds like an idea that just won’t “fly” (at least not “yet”). Cheap labor may be essential for most businesses to get on track, and since the economy of Atlantic City is in such turmoil right now I just don’t think they can AFFORD to raise the minimum wage for their workers just yet. Plus when you add in the cost of “higher tolls” on the AC expressway and the introduction of legalized gambling in surrounding areas like Philadelphia and Delaware you can see why Atlantic City is struggling. The main emphasis I got out of the President’s speech last night was that while most of us are waiting for government to intervene, it is truly up to US to make this economy work.  People will hire those who have a service that is “needed.” If your training gives you an “advantage” over others in your field then your services will become much more “valuable” to an employer. We all know that job opportunities are not where they should be, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t step up our game to make our services “invaluable.” When you play the lottery you have to invest (and subsequently risk) losing money (You can’t play for free). The same can be said when it comes to business opportunity. Your idea may be the one thing that “jump starts” the economy. If you are afraid to initiate it, then you will never know the potential of what you have. Remember, the State of the Union goes as “we” go. We have a say, and we can do things on our own. “Dare” to be “great.” Here is the man that NO party will “accept”… the Phantom Poet:

When it comes to President Obama’s speech last night, I surely must confess
That he did a good job of motivating people for the State of the Union address
His speech was often interrupted by moments of applause and standing ovations
While some Republicans kept their expressions and their seats for long durations.
While I intently like to check out these special political events
I just want to make sure that what he said made sense
Over the years the two parties have contributed to bad political weather
So hopefully in order to make this all better they can now now work together
In a  nation where tragedies have struck, it is time for us to heal and console
But it is also time to seize the opportunity for better gun control
The President was right about the economy, but here is my confession
I think it is truly up to US to make a difference in this recession
I think we can take our economy to a much higher elevation
When it comes to our services, we only need to improve our innovation
As for illegal immigrants, if they are useful then they should stay
Because hey, it ain’t like we expect them to leave us “anyway”
And we need to value the lives of every woman and every man
And that is why it is SO important to bring them home from Afghanistan
So for the results of the President’s speech, to me it brought satisfaction
Of course, the main difference will be “if” we can put those words into “action”
Because whatever happens (or doesn’t happen) there will be need to shout or fuss
Because when it comes to getting this situation right, it ALL depends on “us”

“United we stand”… unless we are all “lazy”… The Phantom Poet

 

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Rapper Chuck D (from Public Enemy) and Brett Jolly in concert doing “Fight the Power”

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Brought a gun into our house)

Subject: Snuck a gun in my house

My husband and I have been married 33 years. All my life I have been vehemently opposed to having a gun in our house. Our three boys didn’t even have toy guns.
I just found out that my husband recently bought a handgun and hid it from me! His reason? “I wanted one.” Needless to say, I am furious. Your thoughts, please

Part of the joy in being a family is to make decisions together as “one” unit. When it comes to family matters, there should always be communication between all of you and everyone should at least have some input (even if you all should disagree). Your husband’s reason for buying this gun will only promote disharmony in the household. What he did was blatantly disrespectful to you and the values of your family. The first concern is whether or not he purchased the gun legally. If he didn’t, then it could REALLY haunt him (and you) at a later time. Next thing is whether he keeps the gun loaded or not. If one of the kids finds it and it goes off inadvertently then your husband could regret it for the rest of his prison filled years. Of course, there is also the other side of the coin, where the day may come when that gun might save you and your kids lives. I am not a supporter of guns, but I do know that today it is important to make sure your house is well protected from unwanted activity. I have heard that one of the best things for house protection is a dog. Dogs can’t be shut down due to a power outage and dogs are territorial and loyal (plus some of them are more than willing to bite the crap out of an unwanted guest). I have a dog and if anyone even comes close to the house the dog will bark like an instant alarm, thus giving us time to prepare in case anyone is trying to gain unwanted access. I don’t think your husband had bad intentions when he obtained this gun, but I most certainly don’t approve of the way he handled this matter. He should have talked to you and discussed the matter first. However, if the objective is to protect your house, then I suggest you talk to your local police authorities to get the “best” suggestions. They can guide you through the proper steps to make your home more safe  and protected. Your family has a right to feel secure, and if having a gun in the house brings more tension then it will be extremely difficult for your family to relax “knowing” it is there. Communicate with your husband and tell him exactly why you feel the way you do. After you “smack” him upside the head a few times then you can go about the business of finding the PROPER way to protect your home. Here are some helpful hints from the Phantom Poet to inspire you:

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the house

My husband was not stirring (he was just shot by his spouse)

He disobeyed my orders, and bought a gun behind my back

So now when I count family members, minus one I will subtract

Before he passed out, he asked, “Why shoot me? What did I do?”

I said, “You brought this gun into my house, and I just wanted to”

When it comes to this issue, I would never accept a gun

So you KNOW I was furious when he said, “Because I wanted one”

Then there must be OTHER things he also wants with this circumstance

Because when you disobey MY orders, you’d better call the ambulance

He said, “I only bought it for our protection, I wanted us all to be secure”

Then he asked if I would actually shoot him, and my response was “sure”

When I shot him it was only an action of love

And of course, the insurance payout that I was thinking of

With his death, hopefully he will have learned a valuable lesson

And with the insurance money, I can buy me a “new” Smith and Wesson

So when I tell my NEXT husband not to bring a gun in here

He had best listen intently, or get buckshot in his rear

So when it comes to MY rules, men need to know that this sister don’t play

So before the rest of y’all men get shot, please have yourselves a happy holiday

 

“Deck the halls with calls of buckshot”… La, la, la, la la…. The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me directly at Brettjolly@aol.com or at Brett@Love-notes.co (with a hyphen (-) in the middle). You can also send me a friend request on Skype at username Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

Famed rapper from Public Enemy Chuck D and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Staring at other women)

Subject: Staring at other women
 
My girlfriend claims I am constantly looking at other women when we are out. She says she catches me whenever a woman walks by me, near me, etc. We live in New York, and there are a million people. Yes, I look. I look, in a general way, at everyone who comes into my view. It’s not as if I am focusing on any one woman.
I don’t know how to tell her that, while I “see” people, women and men, I am not ogling. Is she being immature, or should I keep my head low and look to the ground?

 
You COULD just say, “Look, woman! I cannot HELP what I see no more than YOU can. You need to STOP staring down my face, relax more and enjoy our time together WITHOUT stressing so much over uncontrollable situations like this. Of course, doing so might just end any opportunity you could hope to have for a really good evening.  She needs to know that trying to control where you gaze is NOT the answer, though. She also needs to know that “men” are going to be “men”, and men are GOING to at least “want” to LOOK (We wouldn’t be men if we didn’t). If a good looking woman cuts across most men in revealing attire and the man DOESN’T look, then he is ONLY doing so because he knows you are checking him out to make sure he doesn’t do so. I do believe that when a man is with a woman in public that he should “always” respect her. He cannot help what he sees, but he CAN surely help what he continually STARES at. If you are practically “breaking your neck” trying to look at other women then that is an absolute insult to your woman. Your woman deserves better… One of the best ways for a woman to handle a situation like this is to first “realize” that her man looks at women (the only other alternative is for him to look at other men, and that is another topic for another day). When a woman is walking with her man, she could point out the other woman first and say something like, “Would you like to see me in an outfit like that?” This would give the man his opportunity to “glimpse” the other woman while also letting him know that you’re aware this woman is one who will attract attention. Under this circumstance MOST men will just give her a small look, answer the question and never look back after that.  This technique should solve quite a few things. First, it will let you BOTH share in looking at the woman together (While allowing it initiate pleasant conversation). Next, it will resolve him from feeling any GUILT from staring (or not staring) at the woman because you gave him the “option” to do so. Finally, that one small glimpse should be enough to satisfy his natural tendency to look while NOT making it seem as though his eyes are bulging and he is salivating at the mouth. In your particular situation, your girlfriend wants your attention to be solely focused on her, so maybe you should try this same logic from the “male” perspective. When you see an attractive woman, point out the contrasts and let your woman know why you consider her to be the “better catch”… Make note of the differences between what you “see” and what you know you already “have”. Let your woman feel confident that while other women may be able to provide temporary “visual” pleasures, they cannot hope to match what your girlfriend has on the “inside”. Give HER the opportunity to look with you, but use that opportunity to make her feel even more loved and even more glamorous. If you can do this the “right” way, then she should start to feel more secure with venturing out with you in public, and maybe not try to pressure you as much by standing on your eyelids. Women need assurance every once in awhile (Okay, maybe every TWICE in awhile). Whatever the numbers, use your circumstances to build your woman up. After all, she “deserves” it…  Here is a much-deserved reading excerpt from the Phantom Poet:
 
I love my girlfriend, and she is just as sweet as she can be
But she jumps down my throat for every woman we see
She constantly accuses me of wanting to ogle and stare
But I say that I can’t control what I view, so stop going there
But we live here in New York City, where there are only a million people or so
In order to stop looking at them, I would have to be blind, you know?
So to satisfy her, I decided to walk with my head down, but I didn’t get far
That’s because at the very next corner, I was ran down by a car
If I had only been looking, then this wouldn’t have happened to me
And on top of this, my vision is not blurry, so I really can’t see
“Oh no! I think I have now become blind,” I decided to shout
Then I am not sure of what happened next, so I might have passed out
When I awoke in the hospital, I saw my girl, but I think I shocked her
That’s because while I was laid up I heard her flirting with the doctor
I now walk with a cane, and while I can no longer see straight ahead
Instead of looking at women, I bump into them and inadvertently feel them up instead
So now even though I can’t see well whenever we are both together
I grope other women by mistake (which to me is even better)
At least my girl can’t accuse me of looking at other women on this day
But I am doing fine “feeling instead” and I have her to thank for making me this way…
 
“Feelings… Nothing more than feelings…”
 
                              The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please contact me through my web sites WWW.Love-notes.co or WWW.Brettjolly.com.

 

Famous rapper Chuck D (from Public Enemy) and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Drinking and sex)

Subject: Drinking and sex
 
Hey Man, first of all it’s very embarrassing writing this, but I must get some advice on the matter. After going out and having a couple of drinks, my girlfriend and I like to finalize the night with having good sex. Yet, I feel I have a problem. My girl and I go through lots of foreplay and I get erected. However, it takes me forever to try to ejaculate. Sometimes it doesn’t even happen. When an hour goes by (yes an hour) my girlfriend is now tired and appears very disappointed. I would like to know is it the alcohol or my age? I’m 51 years old) I really don’t want to lose my  girlfriend. By the way, she’s 46 and has lots of energy. She hardly drinks. Please let me know something before it’s too late!
 
I don’t think this is such an embarrassing situation to mention at all (even though I really don’t know WHY my kids are over here giggling so hard). It is a well-known fact that alcohol slows down your reaction time, and impairs more than just your vision. In fact, alcohol is a major cause of impotence (erectile dysfunction). A lot of males fail to realize this, mainly because they think that booze will boost sex drive. The truth is that it will increase the desire, but take away the performance. When you add your age to it then that could further complicate the situation. I can’t tell you that the alcohol is a direct cause of the difficulties you are having, but I can tell you that you can get a proper assessment from visiting a doctor. While alcohol could still play a part in your problems there could be some other issues with your prostate as well (at 51 years of age, it would be wise to look into all possibilities). A doctor can give you a thorough examination and pinpoint what you are actually going through. I also think that periodically you might want to change your methods and try having sex WITHOUT drinking beforehand, and see if there is any noticeable difference in your performance. As for your girlfriend, the best way to keep her is to just communicate with her. Never allow her to feel that she is somehow “inadequate”. She should appreciate you opening up to her, telling her the truth and letting her know what steps you are taking to remedy the situation. I often think that women understand men better then “men” do. As we all progress in age we are not going to continue to be the sexual dynamos we once were (That won’t stop us from trying, though). At some point there will be change, but if you can keep your health up you will increase your chances of more “longevity” in your sexual conquests (hey, I like the way that sounds). Your girlfriend should appreciate it too, and hopefully love you even more for taking these steps for her. Please make sure you consider these options before she gets to read this magnificent verse from the Phantom Poet:
 
The time has come where I just got to admit it
My girl and I drink, and then try to “hit it”
I get so impaired that I don’t know which one to enter
My girl on the right, the left, or the one in the center
We engage in lots of foreplay, and we never quit
When we’re finally there I say, “Honey, I think this is it”.
I go on for over an hour, but no ejaculation will I get
Then my girl gets tired and feels inadequate
I’m 51 years old, so is it my age or just the drinking?
It might be a little bit of both is what I’m now thinking
Last week sex was great, and that was much to my delight
But my girl told me that she switched my booze with “Sprite”
I was angry at first, because I didn’t believe she would make that change
She said, “At least you are functioning now, and able to hit it long range”
If I need to drink Sprite now, then I guess that will do fine
And maybe I’ll stop passing out BEFORE I get mine
Well, I need to thank my girl for giving me soda to get me back on track
Now we are back to hitting it right… and hell, I’ll “drink” to that…
So if you want to have great sex, cutting out the booze might do the trick
Or elsh yush can hav shloppey shex all the time (burp! Hic!)
 
                   How dry I “ain’t”… The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brett@Love-notes.co or visit my web site at WWW.BrettJolly.com. 

 

Famed Rapper Chuck D (from Public Enemy) and Brett Jolly in concert

 

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