I have a friend that believes that you should only date with the intention to marry (courtship). I don’t think you should start thinking about marriage without at least getting to know the person first. We both would like to know what your thoughts are on this. Thank you.
I have discovered that there are people out there who are enamored with just the “concept” of “getting married.” In other words, they are so focused on reaching the status of “married” that it seems like loving your partner is almost an “afterthought.” In fact, some of these people have even said that they could “learn to love their mate” after the wedding. These people will go so far as to say: “I’m getting married,” rather than say “I’m going to marry the one I love.” The biggest problem with courtship is that a couple will often put way too much pressure on themselves just to “reach” that goal of “marriage.” When you start at point “A” and you want to jump to point “Z” then there is a tendency to overlook all the points in between (like, B,C,D, etc.). When you start out LOOKING for someone to be your wife or husband then it is possible to ignore early “warning signs” or “red flags.” There is also that “other” factor that most people encounter. If you boast to your friends that you have found the right person to be your wedded mate and then things suddenly go wrong you don’t want to have to recant what you previously said. Usually at that point is when you do your best to make it to the wedding day “no matter what.” Usually the regrets start to show “after” the marriage. I believe that when you marry someone it should be the “icing” on the cake. The cake is the love and companionship you have with your partner. The “icing” is the top ingredient that solidifies the taste of what you have. If you only focus on the icing then your cake will lack substance (and by definition it won’t be a “cake”). I believe there are cultures out there where “courtship” still applies (and there are also instances where you can just pay for your bride). I believe that in order to be happy you need to KNOW the person you want to spend eternity with. The best way to do that is to go “one step at a time.” In marriage, the destination is important, but you should be able to enjoy the journey to that destination as well. I hope I have answered you today and here is the Phantom Poet to round out our day:
Hello pretty baby. You look good so I’d love to date
If we can get together early enough we might get married by eight
I want to marry you, so now you are the woman that I will court
We will get married no matter what, and these wedding plans we won’t abort
Just from looking at you visually you are absolutely the woman of my prayers
When it comes to knowing more information about you who really cares?
I just know that I need to have a wife and you look like you should fit the bill
When it comes to finding anyone who looks better than you nobody else will
I just find that when I go to bed at night you are what I need when I sleep
You are fine looking woman but why is your voice so deep?
You are holding a beverage and every time I see you chug down some of that Snapple
Why does it seem as though your neck appears to have an Adam’s apple?
You say your name is Danielle but your friends always call you Dan?
“Oh, that’s because I am a great woman who once used to be a man”
“Hold up! I ain’t marrying no dude so don’t even think of taking me there”
“Baby, I no longer have a penis, even though I know it’s around here somewhere”
Since you said you will court me I am going to take you for your word, love
For to break a promise of courtship is surely something unheard of
You already promised to court and marry me, so that is now your intention
So now my sex change operation I don’t even HAVE to mention
I don’t work and I have expensive tastes, so taking care of me won’t be cheap
And you can pay for my hormone injections so that my voice won’t be so deep
So when you friends see you dating a transgender, don’t pay any attention to the laughter
Just enjoy our life as husband and wife, and be prepared to live happily ever after
“Honey, why is this toilet seat always being left up?” The Phantom Poet
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