Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Gay basketball player)

Jason Collins, a recent center for the Washington Wizards basketball team made a startling proclamation with a recent interview in Sports Illustrated magazine. He became the first player from a “major” sport to openly announce that he is “gay.” What possessed him to come out? Currently he is 34 years old and a free agent (which means that he is virtually without a basketball team at this moment). Chances are that at this stage of his career most teams would pass on him anyway (The career span of most pro ball players “rarely” gets past the mid thirties in age). He was not a “Hall of Fame” player, but he was a big guy who helped free up teammates like Jason Kidd to become all stars. What does his statement do for professional sports? I honestly don’t know, but I feel this could be the first step towards an “attitude adjustment for all.” There have been gay players in sports before but in order to keep peace none of them ever came out about  it. Maybe “now” is the time… Jason Collins had nothing to lose and the moment was right for “someone” to do it. There are times when society needs to accept change, and this may well be one of those moments. Many years ago, women were not allowed to vote, but through “change” they now have that right. Blacks were not allowed in sports (or most places) and society needed to overcome that thought as well. When Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in baseball, he didn’t have the option of waiting until his career was almost over to announce that he was indeed “black.” Jason Collins at least had that advantage to be able to keep his way of life hidden. I just hope that more gay players “come out” now so that acceptance can develop more rapidly. Sometimes we tend to fear the things we know very little about. Being gay may be different, but if we can alleviate our own stereotypes then imagine how much better this world will be. I have no idea if Jason Collins will ever play another pro basketball game again, but I applaud him for taking the measures needed to “open our eyes.” How ironic if he becomes more well known for his proclamation than he does for his basketball abilities. If so, then “so be it” but there are times when the world needs to “wake up.” Hopefully Jason Collins statement can at least be the “alarm clock.” Have a great day and here is that radical, the Phantom Poet:)

This is a little story about a gentleman basketball player in the NBA
His career was only average, but he is making news because he’s gay
Normally we shouldn’t  have so much fanfare to come along with it
But it is making news because now he decided to admit it
If anyone knew about it during his career, they must have kept it secret
That was probably the best thing to do, because people know how crazy we get
It could have caused a lot of friction, and probably added some unnecessary drama
But in this case, I am glad that Mr. Collins got a call from President Obama
The world is changing, and for those people who find this hard to see
It all makes for a better world when it is accepted by you and me
So if you act out against homosexuality, I hope someone with sense gives you a nudge
Because the numbers are growing rapidly, and just who are you to even judge?
All human life is precious and we should all treat it as though it’s sacred
And there is really no need for anyone to display so much hatred
So if you harbor animosity, then that says a lot about you, you see
Some of these gay people are more decent than you could ever be
So if you encounter a gay individual, I hope you never live to regret the words you said
Because there’s a difference in viewing things with an open mind, as opposed to a “hole” in your “head

“Space, the final frontier”… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at or (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.


Musiq Soulchild and Brett Jolly at PIR studios


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Insecure girlfriend”)

Can you please help me? I have a woman who is constantly checking up on me. She comes to my job all the time just to see if I am there. She goes through my phone to see if other women are calling. She went through my pants pockets to see if I have women’s phone numbers. She calls me every hour and gets upset if I can’t answer at that time. I love this woman dearly, but I don’t love her suspicions. I am a good man, but she is always investigating and  interrogating me. From a man’s perspective, how do you think I should handle this?

She is probably overly suspicious because of some past relationship she had where her ex cheated on her. Unfortunately, a lot of people in new relationships have to pay for the wrongdoings of the “previous” administration. You need to let her know that until you give her something to be “concerned about” she needs to ease up and “have faith” in you.  Let her know that trust is a “VERY” important factor in relationships. If she wants you to trust her then she needs to start trusting you. The question here is: Did you DO something that made her mistrust you? If you did, then just accept the fact that she will continue to have issues of insecurity when it comes to you (at least until you prove otherwise). However, if you have done nothing wrong then she needs to stop judging you by the standards of her own past. I have never seen any instance where mistrust makes a relationship “better.” Sometimes it can take a while for the baggage from previous relationships to wear off. If someone has been hurt in a prior relationship then that pain can often be carried into the new relationship. If you are an understanding man then hopefully you can have patience through this, but in the meantime you need to help her see that you are not the person who abused her love.  Communication should always be the first step. Reason with her but make sure you are understanding to her as well. It could make a “world” of difference. Good luck and let’s welcome the Phantom Poet for today’s follow up:

Whenever I tell my girl that I want to spend time out with the fellas
She gets a big attitude with me and becomes crazy “jealous”
When I’m home I don’t have very much  time to even take a shower
That’s because my baby calls me every hour… “ON” the hour
If there is ANYTHING different about me it never gets past her detection
Every time we get together I have to line up against the wall for “inspection”
She even inspects my clothes after I come back from a morning in church
In order for her to do it thoroughly, I have to go through a “strip search”
She goes through my pockets, my wallet and I suffer such depravity
This woman even puts on rubber gloves to check my “anal cavity”
It’s embarrassing enough that I have to stand in front of you totally bare
But do you REALLY expect to find something of significance “back there?”
I know that I am a good man and there is no way that I am going to cheat
But this woman will go off if she finds a stray hair at my feet
I knew she had security issues but she is even worse that previously predicted
This woman went so far as to even have my cable TV “restricted”
This has gone way too far and I’m beginning to think she needs help
There is NO WAY in the world you’ll get me to wear a “chastity belt”
If we don’t correct this then there is no way to tell how long this will go
She even grabs me in my private parts to see if my “levels are low”
How can I deal with this woman and just what needs to be done?
From a man’s perspective, there can only be one answer… “RUN!”

“Run, Forrest….Run as fast as you can”… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at or (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.

Singer Jill Scott and Brett Jolly in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Married player)

Hello, and I want to tell you that I enjoyed your article yesterday about the man who can’t seem to spend time with a woman. Well, I want to know about how it is from the woman’s side. There is this man who seems nice but hardly ever calls me. He keeps telling me that he is looking for a wife but yet whenever I call him he is never available. He never answers when I call and always calls me back later while talking quietly. I don’t know any of his friends or family members and he hasn’t told me where he works. I don’t even know what he does for a living. I have known this man for over 5 months and we have yet to go out anyplace together. We don’t talk a lot and I have no idea where he lives (he said that his mother lives at home and she does not welcome any visitors). I think I am a great woman for anyone but how do I get this man to realize that?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but home boy is “married.” He is using you as his “chick on the side” and he calls you whenever it is convenient for him or he has “spare time.” If a man refuses to introduce you to friends or family then there is usually a “reason” for that… “marriage!” If he isn’t married then he has a live-in girlfriend, but rest assured what he is telling you is NOT what he is “practicing.” He can only put you on hold as long as you “let” him, but you should not waste your young life away waiting by the phone for him to call. ANY man that keeps you from his world like that has “something” to hide, and you need to realize that you can do much better looking elsewhere. If you decide to hang onto the prospects of waiting for him, it will only lead you into depression, and he doesn’t deserve to have that much power over you. NO woman should allow herself to be treated like a “leftover.” The worst thing you can do is sit idly at home with nothing to do but reflect on him. You need to get dressed up, and go mingle at some nice event where you can reject ALL the men who make advances towards you (No, you don’t have to reject them all, but it will probably make you feel good if you do). Some men can talk a really good game, but it is important for a woman to look “below” the surface when it comes to the things some men say. If he is looking for a wife that badly then why isn’t he calling you more often? ANSWER!: “Because he already HAS one.” The more you give his lies “credibility” the more lies he will send your way. Forget about him, and focus more on “you.” Whenever he calls, don’t even answer, and then see what he does to try to catch up to you. You are worth a lot, but it is important that you see that for yourself first. Do yourself a favor and “let go” of this “dead weight.” Here is the Phantom Poet to bring this point home:

Five months ago this new man decided to enter into my life
He rarely calls but when he does he says he wants a wife
He said he wants marriage (or at least that is what he told me)
But yet I don’t know any of his friends or any of his family
He said that he is single but I don’t know if that is really true
Maybe the child booster seat in the back of his car is a clue
He said he wants to marry me but somehow these doubts linger
Especially when I look at the “white” ring tan line on his “wedding” finger
He calls me at weird hours and all these should be “red flags”
So in order to find out the truth, I ran background checks on his “tags”
Oh, I found out a lot about him and as far as being in “love” relates
This mongrel has 3 different wives in at least 3 different states
I then let him know that for his way of life I don’t intend to smother
but then I decided to mail info and pictures of his wives to each other
I found he also has kids but he will soon be engulfed in child support
And if he is still looking for a wife, he will soon find 3 in “divorce court”
This man was the ultimate playa and that is the only way for me to call it
But his ex-wives are about to take one LARGE sum of money out his wallet
As for me, I go out dressed up to clubs and events where I can go mingle
And I saw him there, and he let me know that right now he really “IS” single
ALL his wives divorced him and now he is out looking for some serious romance
I turned around to show him how good I look, walked away and said “No chance”
So now I’m looking for a husband, and when I mingle I am no longer afraid
Because I feel good knowing that this game playing man just got himself “played’

“Retribution is inevitable”… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at or (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.


Melba Moore and Brett Jolly in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: How can I get her attention?)

Hello, and I was wondering if you can help me out. There is this beautiful girl that I am really interested in, but sometimes she acts like she is into me and sometimes it seems like she doesn’t care. I can’t figure her out. She asks me when am I going to take her out and yet every time I call her she never answers the phone and never responds to text messages. On Facebook the other day she posted a picture of her relaxing in a hotel room by herself. I have no problem with that, except for the fact that the picture had to be taken by someone else other than her. Should I view this as a red flag or am I reading too much into this? Please advise.

I understand where you are coming from. A man doesn’t like to get “mixed signals” from a woman (and vice versa). As for the hotel picture, only “she” can explain that. However, I would not jump to conclusion too fast on this one. There ARE cameras out there with “timers” on them, and if she does indeed have one then all that is needed is for her to set the controls and then go pose. Without “positive proof” that she had someone there you should not make any unnecessary accusations. Now when it comes to spending time with her, she could be ignoring you to see just “how much” you want her (and to what extremes you will go to get her). Maybe what you are offering is not what she feels she is worth. However, if she truly IS into you then maybe you should offer something a little more extravagant. While it may cost you some money, you might want to consider offering her a night out to a great show (and possible overnight getaway). You can let her know that if you don’t hear from her by a certain time then you will have to find someone else to go with. Most women need to have communication with someone in their lives, so if you left messages for her chances are good that she reads (or listens) to them. If she didn’t check her messages then her voice mails would be “full” by now (and you would get that recording alerting you to that fact). You don’t need to blow up her phone a lot, but you may just need to “step up your game.” Make her an offer that most women “won’t” refuse and see what happens. Then once the ball is in her court it will be up to her to either “accept it” or “reject it.” If you get no response after your “top” offer then it may be time to move on. Good luck to you and here is the Phantom Poet:

There is this really beautiful girl that I am really interested in
I want to get to know her but I just don’t know where to begin
She never answers any of my messages and I just can’t figure her out
“Congratulations. NOW you know what the concept of women is all about”
When it comes to “explaining women” most men have nothing to show
And when you ask some women, it seems they themselves don’t even know
A man once “defined” it when he came to this majestic conclusion
After dealing with his woman he would only say “confusion”
You can spend the rest of your life wondering what women are all about
But know that as men we can’t live with them, and we can’t live “without”
When a woman has needs a man should never ever neglect
And to fill her desires, you may need to offer something she’d never expect
For you, it may not take much of a light to set her heart aflame
But if you are not getting through, then it may be time to “step up” your game
And once you figure out what makes her tick, then you may be happily amused
And if you end up marrying her, then you both can live “happily ever… confused”

“Is this the reason why most women out-live their men?”… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to have featured, please feel free to email me at or (or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.

Freddie Jackson and Brett Jolly in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Facebook stalker)

I have a problem with a friend I accepted on Facebook. I didn’t really know this person when I first got the friend request but now EVERY time I sign on he is there and always sends me an instant message. He claims that he is depressed and he needs someone to talk to, but because of him I can’t find time to answer emails from anyone else or do other things. I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I don’t want to make him suicidal either. I would feel bad if he did bodily injury to himself because I neglected him. Do you have any suggestions that might help me?

As popular as Facebook is, I’m sure there are “Facebook groups” that he can join that feature people with the same issues as him. Right off hand I don’t know of any but it couldn’t hurt to just do a “Facebook search.” You should NOT have to be this man’s responsibility and you shouldn’t feel guilty or responsible for his actions. You seem to have a really good heart, but sometimes good hearts can be “taken advantage of.” The more you “accept” his IM’s the more he will “expect” you to be there for him. You do have options. I don’t fully know all the mechanics of Facebook but I do think you can adjust your settings so that people won’t know if you are signed on or not. You can just “block him out.” If that doesn’t work for you then I would suggest signing on but not responding “every” time he IM’s you. Make him wait so that he won’t be able to take advantage of your time like that. If he wants to know why you didn’t respond to him immediately, just let him know that there were some important things you have to do on Facebook and you don’t always have the time for idle chat. Hopefully then this man will realize that he can’t “monopolize” your time like that. This man needs to know that you have a life of your own and that he cannot be your responsibility. You can also recommend to him a good counselor to help him with his personal problems. I always find that people will only be able to go as far as you “allow them.” When someone sends you a friend request, it might be a good idea to “check out” his or her page information first and see what they are about. Most times the information on the page will “alert” you about what to expect. Women especially need to scrutinize their friend acceptances because there are quite a few male stalkers out there looking for “anyone” to accept them. This man may be depressed, but you are NOT his doctor. You are not responsible for his well being either. If you still feel the urge to address his issues, tell him to email them to you and you will address them whenever you get time. If he cannot accept or appreciate that, then it is time for that “almighty” block button. Good luck to you and here is that “complicated status,” the Phantom Poet:

I can deal with emails and phone conversations, because I’m a good talker
The one think I just can’t seem to deal with is my new “Facebook” stalker
He wants to chat all the time from the moment I sign in until I’m gone
Heck. I think he is even able to send me an IM even “BEFORE” I sign on
He says he needs someone to talk to, and that he is also heavily depressed
Actually, trying to deal with him is starting to make ME feel real stressed
Whenever we chat online he never really has anything of significance to say
I think he stays on Facebook for the estimation of 24 hours a day
I don’t like to hurt people and I never want to be disrespectful or mean
But I thank God that this fool is on the “other side of my computer screen”
I really don’t know this man and he could be psychotic or even deranged
But once he says something wrong, he’ll be “blocked” and my settings “changed”
He should not be my responsibility and I realize that this may sound bad or cruel
But on Facebook that “delete” and “block” button turns out to be a very handy tool
So before having to deal with men that come “sleazy” and “sleazier”
“Block” and “Delete” these bastards (and make your life a little easier)
So when it comes to Facebook, this motto will always hold true
“Block and delete unto others, as you would have them block and delete unto you”

From the “rejected” files of the Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at or (you can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day

Singer Lyfe Jennings and Brett Jolly in studio