Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Wife is terrible with money)

Subject: Wife is terrible with money

I recently got married to a beautiful woman. She is sweet and I love her dearly. We have a problem, though. She spends our money without thinking, buying luxury items first that we really can’t afford and then afterwards we barely have enough to pay any of the important bills. When I try to talk to her about it she keeps saying “I don’t want to hear it” and starts holding her hands over her ears while shaking her head. She is not good with money at all. We will never get anywhere this way, and will probably be knee deep in debt soon. What can I do to get her on the right track?

Just ask the conductor which “track” is the right one for trains heading “out of town” and make sure she’s on the “next available”… Sorry… “bad” joke… In most marriages there is usually one member who can handle finances better than the other. From what you have said, it sounds as though YOU should be the one to take care of ALL monetary matters regarding the family. There have been studies done on people just like your wife. She seems like one of those consumers who shops basically to relieve frustration, which means that she doesn’t shop out of necessity… The best way to teach her the value of money is to give her an ALLOWANCE. Give her a certain amount from each paycheck and let her know that once it is gone, it’s “gone,” and she can’t get any more until the very next paycheck comes in. If necessary, separate your money from hers by getting separate accounts (with separate names on each account) so that your money doesn’t get caught up in her allowance. When you budget your money, it is always best to pay the NECESSARY BILLS “first” (like rent and food necessities, car notes, etc.), and then work with the money you have left over for other things you want. Also you need to pay attention to the “date” when certain bills are due. If she is buying luxury items first when she gets paid then that is a sure recipe for disaster. The best way to escape from this mess is to take the power OUT of her hands…When you start handling the money, it will also be important to put a little money aside periodically for emergencies. I can “guarantee” there will be a time when you WILL need it, and you will be glad that you have it to use…  Make sure that NO MATTER WHAT you don’t give her anymore than what she is supposed to have, because then you will only end up defeating your own purpose. Above all, let her know that you love her, and that you are only taking the necessary steps to ensure a lifetime of happiness with her. She will think that is sweet (at least until the next paycheck comes in)… Be firm, but loving, and make sure that YOU control the money. Here is the “broke and busted” version of love from the Phantom Poet:

I really love my wife, and she is such a great lady

But we got phone calls from collection agencies saying “Pay me

When the first of the month is here, our rent is always due

She will take our money and buy a furniture set or two

When I try to talk to her about it, she always screams and hollers

I sent her to 711 for a newspaper… She spent forty-two dollars

She asks me if she can borrow some money to get her finances on track

But every time she borrows it, I NEVER get it back

We have a problem here, and one that needs a quick solution

I think we need to find a better method of payment distribution

I need to put my foot down…I don’t want to seem like a wimp

If things don’t straighten up soon, I may have to moonlight as her pimp

So to keep our financial matters from going from bad to worse

When honey is in the ladies room, I go hide her purse

I destroy all her credit cards, and then I keep on steppin’

I went to register her bank account downtown as a “lethal weapon”

When it comes to spending limits, for her there is no dimension

When it comes to budgeting money, she can’t even pay attention

Our situation is so bad that we also need some government bailin’

Just yesterday she bought some expensive glasses like Sarah Palin

They cost WAY too much money, and that is a matter of fact,

“Until that woman takes office, you need to take that crap BACK!”

So if YOU have a wife who really doesn’t know how to spend

Put her on the right “track” and wait for that train to come back again

Hopefully after she returns she will have learned her lesson

And then hopefully your financial woes will no longer have you “stressin’”


Another “Bailout” moment from the Phantom Poet


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Billy Paul (He sand “Me and Mrs. Jones”) and Brett Jolly in concert in Tunisia, Africa


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Facebook status)

Subject: Facebook status

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. I asked him to change his Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship.” He hasn’t changed it yet and every time I ask he says he doesn’t know how. When I told him how to do it he said he would. Well, it hasn’t happened yet and I know he’s on there every day. I’m beginning to think he’s not changing it because he wants to meet other women on there.
You could be right (in fact, you probably “are” right). I have a question, though. Is there anyone who DOESN’T “misrepresent” himself or herself to “some” degree on Facebook? It is the perfect medium to be the person you always wanted to be (but never really were). I have seen people who I KNOW have “issues” resemble Presidential candidates on their profiles. If you give a lot of value to what most of them say in their profiles, then you are setting yourself up to believe in almost anything. It is obvious your boyfriend doesn’t want to change his status on his page, but he also doesn’t want you controlling his page either. You need to determine just how important this is to you. While this may feel very disrespectful to you, the bottom line is that for some reason he wants to be viewed as “single” to all his Facebook buddies. You could spend a whole LOT of time monitoring his page but that will only further strain the value of your relationship. Think about this… If he wanted to be known as being a single man, he doesn’t need a Facebook page to do so. He can just “tell” any woman he meets on the street that he is not involved with anyone. If I know Facebook well enough, you don’t have to fill in “anything” for that particular status.  He could have just left this status “blank” and that way he wouldn’t be telling a lie at all, but if he is going to purposely list his status as “single” then you already know that he wants his friends to believe it. I am not trying to defend your boyfriend by any means because we all know what he is doing is wrong… I just think that continually monitoring his page is NOT the way to gain control over your relationship. We all know that people can say (and do) all TYPES of crazy things on Facebook pages (whether he is listed as “in a relationship” or not), and that is why I NEVER gave Facebook much serious consideration. I have seen profiles where people listed “other” people’s pictures in place of their own… When you continually monitor his page it creates the image that you are some type of jealous demanding woman (even though we all know he is lying on his page). You don’t need that type of image and you don’t need to give off that type of energy. If you have noticed that he has listed himself as single, then I suggest that YOU get a page for yourself and do the very same thing. What works for one… works for…”EVERY…ONE”.  I am sure you can gain just as much attention on your site as he gets on his (probably a little more if you take pictures wearing revealing outfits like all those other young girls do… if they are wearing anything at all). Don’t get carried away over his site. Pay more attention to your actual relationship with him. Most of those other girls know he’s lying anyway… Here is the Phantom Poet to help bring this moment to light:

My boyfriend is a flirt, and he really loves to mingle

And that is why on his Facebook page he listed himself as “single”

Why he would do that when he has a great girl like me I don’t know

I’m thinking that in reality he wants to be the supreme Facebook “ho”

He lied on his page, and one day he is sure to get caught

On his page he claims to be a lawyer, pro athlete and astronaut

I know that in real life he is nowhere close to the way he appears

The only space he has ever encountered is the one between his ears

This boy will do ANYTHING to try to get a good reaction

He even claims to be a distant relative of Michael Jackson

I can’t believe he even realizes what it is he is speakin’

How can he be related to Mike when his whole family line is Puerto Rican?

And if you pay attention to his other lies, then it really gets scary

He is claiming to be the REAL father of the baby belonging to Halle Berry (?)

So if he wants to list himself as single, then there should be no doubt

Because everyone who reads the rest of his crap will KNOW what he’s about

As for me, if he wants to be listed as single, then I’ll list myself as single too

But there will be a BIG difference between what “he” says and what “I’ll” do

When I list myself that way, I know that I will attract a whole lot of brothers

So if it works for him, then I guess its time for me to date others

I might have lied on my page as well, and listed my breast size as 44DD

When the truth of the matter is that I’m barely 32C

But what the Heck! This is Facebook, and there is no need to fear

Because just about EVERYONE lies up in here….

So the most popular person on Facebook should be obvious, I guess

Because it seems that the best one, is the one who lies… the best…


Yet ANOTHER masterful artifact from the Phantom Poet


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R and B crooner Freddie Jackson and Brett Jolly performing together in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Preparing for storm and being “thankful”)

For those of you who don’t know, I happen to reside in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Currently the East Coast is bracing for a mammoth storm by the name of “Sandy” to bring us 85 mile per hour winds, extremely high tides and 5 feet of rain. All the weather expert’s predictions have caused the grocery stores to empty out supplies and they have instilled fear in the hearts of many. While living here in Philadelphia all of my life I have survived through many various weather conditions. While this particular storm is being projected as one of the most “dangerous” we will ever have, right now everything seems fairly calm. From what the “experts” have said, there is a good chance that we may be without power for awhile once this storm hits us. I am not sure of what I feel at this point. This hurricane could significantly alter my life and yet a feeling of calm and peace fills my heart at this moment. You see, there are a LOT of elements that can end your existence in a micro second. The difference with me is that while anyone can be in a dangerous environment, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are “in danger.” Panic doesn’t necessarily help. Years ago I was on a train headed towards South Carolina. It was traveling at an excessive rate of speed through torrential rain. The next instant the lights went out in the cabin, and everyone started to sway side to side (like in those Star Trek episodes). The seats uprooted and people were flying everywhere. I was experiencing a “train derailment” and when it finally ended the cabin was positioned on a weird angle. As devastating as this was I felt no need for alarm through it all. I don’t know if that is just “resolve” or if it was “faith” but “something” had me feeling extremely “secure.” I am getting that feeling right now as we brace for hurricane Sandy. Naturally, if the power goes off, then there probably won’t be a Daily Thought, and for that I do apologize. I guess I am just saying that life will always have uncertainties. Circumstance can often dictate your direction in life against your will. I have found that it is always beneficial to “think calmly and rationally” through the worst of scenarios, for that reaction could end up saving your life. Of course, this is easier to say than it is to do (It is tough to think rationally when a hurricane blows the roof off of your house) but panic will only make your chances even worse. No one knows for sure if my feeling of security is a valid one, but time will tell. EVERYONE will face danger at some point of his or her life. Sometimes we can conquer the elements and other times the elements can conquer us. Whatever happens (or doesn’t happen) I would like to take this opportunity to thank those who have supported me and read my Daily Thought throughout the years. Through the great responses I have received it is awesome to know that I managed to touch someone in a special way through my writings. I sincerely hope to continue and I wish you all the love, health and “safety” in your own environment. God willing, I will send you another Daily Thought tomorrow. Thank you and I hope you feel “blessed” today.


If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, you can contact me via my websites or You can also email me directly at Thank you and have a great day.

Robin Roberts and Brett Jolly



Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Can’t have kids)

Subject: Can’t have kids
I can’t have children for medical reasons. I’ve spoken to numerous doctors who all agree I can’t conceive. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four months and he often talks about wanting to have kids one day. Should I tell him that it won’t happen with me? I’m scared he’ll break up with me.
I fully understand your desire to want to keep him, but it would be wrong to keep him under false pretenses. He deserves to know about your situation, and he deserves the opportunity to work out a viable solution with you. If he stops loving you because of this then he was not the right man for you in the first place and you need to accept that. Also you need to know that just because doctors say you can’t conceive doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t have children. It might be wise to have a consultation with one of the Invitro fertilization clinics to discuss options. I have heard that some of those places have performed miracles. Of course a relationship that perpetuates a lie can be doomed from the start. If you truly love him then you need to be truthful (and not secretive) with him no matter what the consequences. He should respect you more for it, and your relationship just might even get stronger because of it. Don’t think selfishly. Let him know… Remember that no one is perfect with the “possible” exception of the Phantom Poet (He might be perfectly “inept”):
I have this fear that my relationship may be on the skids
And that’s because I found out that I can’t have any kids
I know that our lives could truly be complete
If we could only hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet
The doctors said I can’t and for that there is no doubt
So I hope he will still love me with kids… or without
So if he wants another life around, I don’t plan to leave him in a fog
I will tell him in a hot second, “Go get you a dog”
I told him I would love to have children, but I just don’t know how
So there is no need for him to go off and act “childish” right now
We can work together and check out alternatives to keep our relationship steady
And if for some reason we can’t do it naturally don’t start acting like a baby already
So if you want out of this relationship, then I will surely let you escape
Since I cannot have children there’s no worry about losing my shape
Some man will want me even if it doesn’t turn out to be you
We can always adopt, and I can still keep my figure, too
So think it over, my man, and let me know what you decide
I will find me someone else and still hold my head up with pride
You can decide to get with a child-bearing woman, one who truly has it
While other men might consider my circumstances to be a valuable asset
So if having kids is that important to you, then this is what I have to say
You can take your butt right back home, because you ain’t worth me anyway…
                           A truly tender moment from the Phantom Poet


If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via my websites or You can also email me directly at Thank you.


Singer Anthony Hamilton and Brett Jolly in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Nothing in common but sex)

Subject: Nothing in common but sex
I’ve been with a guy for nine months now. We’re both in our 20s and have a great sex life, but sometimes it seems like that’s all we have. He never talks to me, and things he’s interested in bore me. We don’t like the same food or the same movies. We spend nearly every day (and night!) together and have discussed living together to save money. But I’m not sure that makes sense if we have no future together. Is it possible to have a long-term relationship or a marriage where the only thing that works is sex?
That’s Funny… From what you have said it sounds like the two of you are “ALREADY” married…  In fact, you almost sound like the “average” married couple right about now (maybe with the possible exception of the “great sex” part). Let me give you a formula that hopefully will work for planning a long-term relationship with someone. “Marry your friend”… Marry someone who you can “get along with no matter what he or she looks like.” I say this all the time, but when you get married the person you start out with will NOT be the same person you end up with (if your marriage lasts long enough). That cute little hourglass figure will not remain the same forever. His muscular physique will change over time. Since the both of you are so young you have a LONG ways to change. Just suppose the sexual aspect of your marriage gives out in 5 years. One of you could become overweight or sickly or even become injured in an accident. Should any of these things happen and impair your nightly rendezvous then the only thing you will be left with is your “friend”… That’s what love and marriage is really about. NEVER marry someone just for his or her physical attributes or abilities, because that can’t last forever. If you cannot socialize with each other now, then what chance will you have when the novelty of sex wears off? Do yourself a favor… Picture yourselves at 80 or 90 years of age. Considering what you know of each other now, do you think you both will still even “want” to be together then? The answer you come up with will determine a lot. Even if the both of you are totally OPPOSITES it can still work, but you still have to “at least” be friends with each other. Opposites do attract and in some cases they can actually work, but that is because of what’s under the surface… Get to know your man before you tie the knot, and get to know him before you tie the knot around his neck…Try imagining life without the sex, and then try to imagine being happy with him… Then you should have your answer… Here is sexually deficient paragraph from the Phantom Poet:
My man and I are together, and we are both near the age of twenty
We hardly talk and have nothing in common, but we have sex plenty
He hardly talks and he bores me. We can’t even like the same movie
But when the nighttime comes, all he wants to do is “groove me”
Is this anyway for us to live, and can we spend the rest of our lives together?
Would I even want to be with him without sex? My answer now is “Never”.
When I ask him to pay the bills or at least give me a couple of checks
His answer is always, “We’re broke, but let’s go upstairs and have sex”
Or if I ask him to clean out the gutters or sweep near the doorway
He’ll say, “I’m tired, honey, but we can both engage in foreplay”
Is sex his answer to everything? Can this type of life with him be the best?
He said, “I don’t know, baby, but come here… and get undressed”
If I wanted someone who doesn’t talk back, then I could have me a “different” kind of boy
That being the case, I could just buy me some battery-operated toy
Just like my man, it won’t talk, and it will never, ever flatter me
But at least it can get the job done, and all I need are batteries
It can’t move on it’s own, and a little weight behind it would do
But what can I say? My man is an inanimate object too
So there just might be some advantages to not having my man around
With my toy, I’ll never have to worry about making sure the toilet seat is down
It’s not great to have a body around the house that defies comprehension
This fool is only into Nintendo, and for my needs he never pays attention
I need a man who is going to pay more attention to me
So I think I’m going to wait until he leaves home, and then I’ll throw out his WII
He may get angry, and he may scream, holler and even shout
But I’ll make it up to him by taking him upstairs so we can make out
And if that doesn’t work, we have nothing to lose. No kids, ho conversation and no wealth
Then in that case whenever he wants sex I’ll just tell him to go gratify himself
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life married to some sex crazed jerk
So he is going to need a little more passion to make this relationship work
So if he can’t relate to me, then hopefully he can relate to being outside
Because that is where he is going to stay if for my needs he cannot provide.
                                                 “Good luck!”… The Phantom Poet


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The late Gerald Levert and singer Christopher Williams at sound check with Brett Jolly


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Secretive phone pal)

Subject: secretive phone pal
My wife of 25 years has been talking on the phone with a married man who lives in a city 300 miles away. They chat for more than an hour a week.
I have decided there is nothing to gain by confronting her with this information, but every few months I wonder. She has never talked to me about him. There is no way she has been able to see this man during this time, but I wonder why she hasn’t mentioned that she has a “phone pal.”
Any suggestions?
If you already felt that there was nothing to gain by confronting her with this information, then that means that you either trust her or you felt that there was nothing serious going on. If it is now starting to make you wonder now then you already know what you need to do. I do have a question for you, though. If she never mentioned that she has a phone pal, then how do you know about his existence and how did you discover that he is married (and the fact that he lives 300 miles away)? If you spied on her phone conversations, then that was “not” a very good sign of “trust.” As her husband, you ARE entitled to know what’s going on with her phone pal, especially if it seems like such a “secretive” conversation, but the best way to do so without compromising trust is to just “ask” her. If the situation were reversed and you were having a long distance phone relationship with some other man’s wife then a lot of women would consider that “cheating”. Well, if it can work “against” you, then it can work “for” you as well. This friend could be someone she grew up with, or someone she went to school with, but you may never find out unless you ask. Some people consider internet relationships to be cheating, even if the two parties never physically meet face to face. If indeed that is considered cheating, then having a secretive phone friend should fall into that same category… It is important to give your wife the benefit of the doubt first. After 25 years of marriage she has at least earned that right. Since you are “fairly sure” that they can’t physically see each other then there “should” be no harm in asking her. You can find out, but make sure to do so in a way that won’t sabotage the security you have established in your 25 years together. In other words, don’t sound as though you are “accusing” her of doing wrong. Here is a rousing rendition from the Phantom Poet to provide more insight: 
I think my wife has herself a long distance friend
Why she never mentioned him to me is something I can’t comprehend
I know that he’s a married man and they talk for more than an hour a week
Somehow it feels as though I am caught in a married game of hide and seek
She has never talked about him, and she has never seen him over any time
So why is it that I somehow feel that she has committed a crime?
I really don’t think there will ever be a chance of them both meeting
So why is it that in my heart this still feels like cheating?
This phone stuff is starting to get to me and I am getting tired of this crap
So I think I will just implement my little plan to set her up with a trap
I hid while she was talking and then yelled out “Surprise” from behind the glass
She said, “I’m talking to our life insurance agent and planning for our future, you dumb a$$”
“You should have trusted me, and what you just did wasn’t cool
But in the end, you are the one who is now looking like a fool”
“We need to plan for our future, so what did you really expect?”
“You are such a stupid man that right now I feel the urge to collect”
Her eyes opened wide as she pulled a knife from her blouse
And then proceeded to chase me all over the house
I just wasn’t sure of what was going on and I didn’t know what to do
Now I know that curiosity killed the cat… and it’s about to kill me, too
So if you suspect activity from your wife, then it is advisable to trust her
And just come out and ask her before you decide to “bust her”
You may find that your fears were not as bad as they seem
And your doubts of infidelity were nothing but a dream…
“Honey? It’s for you… Some man who says he’s your Pimp?”
                                            The Phantom Poet


If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via my websites or You can also email me directly at 


The Emotions (“You got the best of my love” and “Boogie Wonderland”) and Brett Jolly in concert



There “is” something you can do. First you need to let her know that you can NEVER make up for the love that your father failed to show her, and you need to let her know that it is unfair for her treat you as anything other than her child (whether your father is alive or not). She needs to see that the love from your father IS coming to her, although through an ‘indirect” route. Your father gave love to you, and in return you are now trying to give that love back to your mother. She is obviously hurt from her relationship with him, but that is absolutely no reason to take that pain out on you. You have every right to love your mother AND your father, and she should never have expected you to show her any favoritism even though she was the one who raised you. Sometimes when relationships (and marriages) end badly the children end up hurting the most. They don’t deserve it, and parents need to realize that. Nothing you can do will make up for the love that your father didn’t give her because that debt was never “yours.” It was your father’s. For her to say that you “owe her” just because she raised you is also wrong. She did what a good mother was “supposed” to do for her child, and as long as you loved her in return then there IS no debt. You, in return, should not be trying to “buy” her love, because that only makes it seem as though your love for her is “superficial.” The only thing that might make her show more love to you now is “the truth.” She needs to hear about how you felt slighted because she showed more love to your siblings than you. She needs to hear about how you had to “pay” for your father’s indiscretions. She needs to hear how you suffer because you can’t seem to find a mother who at least “acts” like she loves you. Sometimes we never realize the cost of our own actions. Sometimes we never take into consideration the pain of someone else caused by our own inability to see. She needs to know how you feel, but you have to express it in a way that she cannot ignore. It might involve tears, it might involved anger, but she really needs to see a different side of you that she has never seen before. Sometimes it takes “drastic measures” to open someone’s eyes. Do NOT let your mother leave this earth without letting her know how you feel, and “why” you feel that way. It may not guarantee change but it still “needs” to be said. Good luck to you and here is the Phantom Poet to start our week:

I am a Daddy’s girl even though my father passed away
I just can’t seem to make my mother show me love today
I shared Daddy’s assets with siblings and my mother
I even paid for her wedding when she wanted to marry another
She treats me different because of my father, and she says to her I owe
But I have never showed her anything but love…ya know?
Even though she was angry with him, she treated me as the source
Although when Dad couldn’t handle it, he just got a divorce
I was just a kid, and for me divorce wasn’t even an option
Even though there were times when I wished I was up for adoption
Now it is time to let her know, and my heart I intend to bear
As for the relationship with you and Dad, I rightfully “don’t care”
I am NOT my father, even though we both know I’m his child
So it is not right for you to have all this hatred for me compiled
You need to see me as your child, because your love for me is overdue
ESPECIALLY now that I’m older  and able to stand up to you
Even though you know that I will always love my Dad
You need to realize that I am still the best child you EVER had
I do for you constantly, and even give you money from time to time
Dad was “right” when he said that sometimes you act like a “horse’s behind”
But now Daddy’s gone, and I am here in his place
So stop “seeing Daddy” every time you look at “my” face
It is time for you to start loving your daughter and this I have to say
You are supposed to be more grown than me, so start “acting” that way…

“I’ll always love my Momma… AND my Daddy”… The Phantom Poet


Patti Labelle and Brett Jolly in a nighttime outside concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Daddy’s Girl, but mistreated by Mother)