Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Nothing in common but sex)

Subject: Nothing in common but sex
 
I’ve been with a guy for nine months now. We’re both in our 20s and have a great sex life, but sometimes it seems like that’s all we have. He never talks to me, and things he’s interested in bore me. We don’t like the same food or the same movies. We spend nearly every day (and night!) together and have discussed living together to save money. But I’m not sure that makes sense if we have no future together. Is it possible to have a long-term relationship or a marriage where the only thing that works is sex?
 
That’s Funny… From what you have said it sounds like the two of you are “ALREADY” married…  In fact, you almost sound like the “average” married couple right about now (maybe with the possible exception of the “great sex” part). Let me give you a formula that hopefully will work for planning a long-term relationship with someone. “Marry your friend”… Marry someone who you can “get along with no matter what he or she looks like.” I say this all the time, but when you get married the person you start out with will NOT be the same person you end up with (if your marriage lasts long enough). That cute little hourglass figure will not remain the same forever. His muscular physique will change over time. Since the both of you are so young you have a LONG ways to change. Just suppose the sexual aspect of your marriage gives out in 5 years. One of you could become overweight or sickly or even become injured in an accident. Should any of these things happen and impair your nightly rendezvous then the only thing you will be left with is your “friend”… That’s what love and marriage is really about. NEVER marry someone just for his or her physical attributes or abilities, because that can’t last forever. If you cannot socialize with each other now, then what chance will you have when the novelty of sex wears off? Do yourself a favor… Picture yourselves at 80 or 90 years of age. Considering what you know of each other now, do you think you both will still even “want” to be together then? The answer you come up with will determine a lot. Even if the both of you are totally OPPOSITES it can still work, but you still have to “at least” be friends with each other. Opposites do attract and in some cases they can actually work, but that is because of what’s under the surface… Get to know your man before you tie the knot, and get to know him before you tie the knot around his neck…Try imagining life without the sex, and then try to imagine being happy with him… Then you should have your answer… Here is sexually deficient paragraph from the Phantom Poet:
 
My man and I are together, and we are both near the age of twenty
We hardly talk and have nothing in common, but we have sex plenty
He hardly talks and he bores me. We can’t even like the same movie
But when the nighttime comes, all he wants to do is “groove me”
Is this anyway for us to live, and can we spend the rest of our lives together?
Would I even want to be with him without sex? My answer now is “Never”.
When I ask him to pay the bills or at least give me a couple of checks
His answer is always, “We’re broke, but let’s go upstairs and have sex”
Or if I ask him to clean out the gutters or sweep near the doorway
He’ll say, “I’m tired, honey, but we can both engage in foreplay”
Is sex his answer to everything? Can this type of life with him be the best?
He said, “I don’t know, baby, but come here… and get undressed”
If I wanted someone who doesn’t talk back, then I could have me a “different” kind of boy
That being the case, I could just buy me some battery-operated toy
Just like my man, it won’t talk, and it will never, ever flatter me
But at least it can get the job done, and all I need are batteries
It can’t move on it’s own, and a little weight behind it would do
But what can I say? My man is an inanimate object too
So there just might be some advantages to not having my man around
With my toy, I’ll never have to worry about making sure the toilet seat is down
It’s not great to have a body around the house that defies comprehension
This fool is only into Nintendo, and for my needs he never pays attention
I need a man who is going to pay more attention to me
So I think I’m going to wait until he leaves home, and then I’ll throw out his WII
He may get angry, and he may scream, holler and even shout
But I’ll make it up to him by taking him upstairs so we can make out
And if that doesn’t work, we have nothing to lose. No kids, ho conversation and no wealth
Then in that case whenever he wants sex I’ll just tell him to go gratify himself
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life married to some sex crazed jerk
So he is going to need a little more passion to make this relationship work
So if he can’t relate to me, then hopefully he can relate to being outside
Because that is where he is going to stay if for my needs he cannot provide.
 
                                                 “Good luck!”… The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me through my websites WWW.Love-notes.co or WWW.Brettjolly.com. You can also email me directly at Bretjolly@aol.com.

 

The late Gerald Levert and singer Christopher Williams at sound check with Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Mother’s drunk and abusive husband)

Subject: My mother’s drunk and abusive husband

 

My mother is a 66-year-old widow. My stepfather was verbally abusive and died an alcoholic. Mom met and starting dating this man, and guess what? He turned out to be an alcoholic. They eloped and their good times are spent at the local pub. I have no interest in getting to know this man and think she made a huge mistake. She is making money & personal decisions that will only end up having consequences for her. Am I being rude keeping my children away from her while she is married to loser husband number 3?

 

You should never stop looking out for your mother, but you also have to respect her desire to independently live her life. Since your mother had a really tough time with your father you’d think she would have learned her lesson and would not tolerate another alcoholic. However, at the age of 66 your mother is only looking to be happy with someone, and probably figures the only man left for her is “another” alcoholic. You have every right to be concerned, but I do believe your mother “might” be of legal dating age now (smile) and is still capable of making her own decisions. While you may not like the man she is dealing with, that is no reason to keep her grandchildren away from her. If something tragic happened to her tomorrow then you (and your children) could end up regretting that decision, and kids need to know their grandparents while they are still alive. Hopefully you won’t deny them that right. I have found that with many older couples the women usually “outlive” the men (sometimes I think as women get older, they get smarter and just “kill” them off). I personally think your mother just needs a companion to go to the pub with, and who better to take her than an alcoholic? At the age of 66 I doubt very seriously that he can get her pregnant, and unless he is also verbally or physically abusive (like the former stepfather) then it may not be that bad. I can relate to how you feel (My mother was at one point in her life an alcoholic), but you need to keep the welfare of your mom in mind. If she likes the pub, then it is best to go there with someone who drinks. As long as her new husband is not abusive towards the children or your mother, then you should bring the children by to see their grandmother. However, if he turns out to be abusive too, then your children should NOT be subjected to that, and you need to give “Mr. Newlywed” a stern lecture about how to behave. You may want to carry a “two by four” for special emphasis. Even the worst of drunks can relate to that (especially when it looks like there are two or three of them headed their way at once). For the record, please don’t ever use your kids as weapons in adult matters. No one wins in that situation, including the kids. Get to know this man and make sure that he understands he cannot be abusive to your mother or anyone else in your family. Set the record straight, and help your mother stay happy while still looking out for her best interests… In the meantime, let’s have a toast to this new revelation from the Phantom Poet:

 

 

 

 

My 66-year-old mother went and eloped today

She married an alcoholic who just happens to “drink” that way

Her previous husband was a drunk who just recently died

And at his funeral, only the owners of the state store cried

I don’t want my kids to be around that type of setting

So no visits from us you will now be getting

Her previous husband was verbally abusive

I decided to keep my kids away, and that was conclusive

He’s got just one time to act the fool

He may find himself laying face down…in the pool

I will tolerate no such crap while my children are around

Because I seriously know how to beat an old man down

And should you decide to strike back at me

You’d be too drunk, and you can’t hit what you can’t see

And when it comes to my mom, don’t expect to do anything out of the norm

And most important, make SURE you fill out this insurance form

Having a policy will be the best plans you ever made

Because once your liver goes, we expect to get “paid”

So when you “croak” my mom will miss your relations

But not for long, for we’ll take the money and go on vacations

I don’t want my mom around a “drunk”… That’s not the way it should be

Oh! Are you now feeling chest pains? Here, have another round…on me

When you pass out, we will call the ambulance without any hesitation

Then tonight I’ll go online… to make a “reservation”

While you are in the hospital, we should be back in about 4 days or five

And hopefully the insurance check will cover the trip if you’re no longer alive

So now I like my mom’s relationship with you…In fact, she is truly blessed

Because now we BOTH can get paid…after you have your cardiac arrest…

 

     They want Phantom Poet to go to rehab, but he said “No, no, no”

The late Gerald Levert and Christopher Williams singing together in concert with Brett Jolly

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Expensive Wedding)

Hi, Mr. Jolly

I am engaged to a beautiful woman that I love with all my heart. I would marry her right now if it were possible. Everything seems great except for one thing. She wants to have an expensive wedding. There is nothing wrong with her wanting that at all, but I just don’t have the money for that type of thing. The kind of wedding she wants could cost me thousands of dollars and I just can’t afford it. I don’t want to lose her. What can I do about this?

It is important for marriages to start out with honesty. If she thinks you have that type of money then she needs to know the truth going “into” your marriage. As a musician, I have played for MANY wedding receptions during my musical career, and I have seen some rather “extravagant” ones. I remember playing for one particular reception that featured clowns, jugglers, two bands, ice sculptures and a “hired” bridal party that consisted of women who were dressed like the ones in that old Robert Palmer video. It was crazy. There was so much stuff going on that there was hardly any room for people to move around. First you need to keep in mind that wedding receptions are really “not” for you as a “couple.” You don’t need to have a whole bunch of people witnessing your vows in order to “get married.” It can actually be done with just the 2 of you and a pastor. When you put out money for a lavish wedding you are doing so for the sake of the “other” people who will be in attendance, and that is where your expenses come in. You have to pay for food, entertainment, rent of the establishment and other small factors that combined could result in a “HEFTY” price tag.  You fiance wants your wedding to be special and there is nothing wrong with that, but it is important that as a couple you live within your means and you don’t START OUT in heavy debt. Many couples will divorce over financial problems and you shouldn’t want enter your life of matrimony with that same predicament. There are ways to get around some of these expenses. First, you can do like a lot of couples do, and have your wedding outside in a park type area. This way you won’t have to worry about the expensive cost of securing a venue. You may have to purchase some chairs for sitting out in the park, but that shouldn’t do too much damage to your wallet. The main cost you will incur is the cost of the “reception.” This is where all the partying, food and entertainment take place. The biggest misconception is that the wedding reception has to take place on the very same day as the wedding. You can always have it later if you choose to. As long as your relatives and friends can still eat great food and enjoy great entertainment they don’t care WHAT day you select for it. If you forgo the need for an immediate reception, you might be able to spend more of your money on a suitable vacation retreat for your honeymoon instead. I will bet that if you offered your wife a choice between a great reception or a great honeymoon spot, she would gladly choose the “latter.” If she still wants to have an expensive wedding after you discuss finances with her, then let her know that she will need to wait until this money is at least “saved up.” Weddings should be about “two people deciding to live forever as one.” When you focus more on this concept, then it should be easier to “keep costs down” when planning a beautiful wedding. If you would like to know more ways of having a great wedding without spending a fortune, consult a “wedding planner.” They have experience in just about “all” wedding issues and can help you enjoy a great event without having to stress over it. If your woman “thinks” you are rich then you should by “no means” mislead her. Let her know that you are “limited” financially BEFORE you make your wedding plans. If you lose her over your lack of money then obviously for her it was not about “love.” She needs to know the truth, and so do you. Talk to her immediately, and find out where the both of you “stand.” Remember, the purpose of marriage is to live “happily ever after” and not “heavily under debt.” As always, communication is “key.” Good luck to you, and I sincerely wish you the best, and take heed of this marvelous revelation from our good friend, the Phantom Poet:

My baby wants to get married in a mansion with great scenery and a lavish interior
For our wedding vows she wants to take them while skydiving in to Lake Superior
She wants to invite the mayor, the governor, the army and all that can make it
but baby doesn’t understand that this costs money, and my funds just can’t take it
She has tons of expensive ideas for our wedding but before my money is lost
I need to say, “Damn, baby, that’s nice, but what about the cost?
She says, “I’m worth it and I deserve to get married while still in my prime.
So if you want to marry me, then you’d better work a lot of overtime”
This statement took me for a loop and I now have a lot that I need to consider
If I don’t marry her it feels like she will offer her services to the highest bidder
She said, “Honey, I am worth it” and “Honey, this is no joke”
At that point I had to let her know that “Baby, HONEY is broke”
“In order to have this expensive a wedding, all my assets I would have to sell”
” If you want all this to happen, then maybe you need to get a job as well”
“If you are this expensive now, then maybe I need to get out before it’s too late”
“After all, as long as I have a good video and 5 fingers, I’ll always have a date”
It might not be the same as having a loving feminine touch
but I can get some satisfaction without it having to cost so much
My baby wants an expensive wedding and even though she has that right
I have the right to tell her I’m poor and I am leaving…. “Have a great night…”

“No woman, no cry”… The Phantom Poet

 

vintage shot of Gerald Levert and Christopher Williams at sound check with Brett Jolly (please forgive the shorts)

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