Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: First Date Protocol)

I have a question for you about first date protocol. Do you think it is good to show affection on the first date? Is it ok to hold hands or would that confuse things and make it a physical one too early? Why is it that some (not all) men change in how they treat you after the first date? What is the best way to keep the man treating you like they did on the first date?
Everyone has different perspectives when it comes to dating, but in most circumstances the actual “purpose” of dating is to get to know your date better. While some may have reservations about holding hands it really depends on the mindset of the 2 people involved. I believe that most people are intelligent enough to realize that if someone asks you out on a date then “affection” towards you has “already” been established. While holding hands may seem like “excessive behavior” to some it is often viewed as “harmless” by others. Of course, there are circumstances where people “date” without that kind of affection towards each other, but most people can usually tell from the onset what the “intentions” are. In fact, some might even say that the rationale behind dating is to actually let your affections be “known.” You will never know if holding hands is acceptable with your date until you at least “try it” first. This is where the part of “learning” comes in. This is also the reason why many men will “change” after the first date. Each woman has different sets of rules and regulations and once a man gets to know her ways he will make the necessary “adjustments.” Men can actually be “trained” but a lot will depend on how the woman “asserts” herself. She should set the tone early if she wants to keep the man on his game. A man will only get away with what the woman “allows” him to get away with, and that is why it is so important for the boundaries of the relationship to be set early. If you do this properly, he will treat you the same from the very first date on through the rest of your relationship. Good behavior is “learned” and your man can be taught, but that is all up to you. A man will always respect a woman who respects herself first… Here is the Phantom Poet to just destroy this whole concept:

It is essential to follow the proper rules, for that is what dating protocol is for
So I will allow you to hold my hand, but keep in mind “nothing more”
I must first determine if you are a true gentleman and not some woman hater
Because if you seem nice enough now, I just might “jump your bones” later
As a woman, I control the atmosphere and as a woman I hold the power
And I will let you know when I am ready for intimacy (which should be in about an hour)
I will take my time when getting to know you, for my morals are by no means bereft
You will WAIT for my love because I say so (and we now have 57 minutes left)
I am class and elegance personified, and I don’t need to engage in foolishness or drama
Even though you don’t know it, but in 53 minutes you’ll be calling me “Big Momma”
I will not be some “easy” conquest for you, because every man needs a little training
I expect to make you wait the absolute FULL TIME of these 40 minutes remaining
This man is looking kind of good, though, and I can now feel the pressure mounting
But I’m holding my ground as I look at my watch (23 minutes, 10 seconds and counting)
It is about 12 minutes left and I am starting to wonder “What the heck?”
“We have 10 minutes to make it to my place, so I’ll take care of the check”
We engage in unlimited passion and for me nothing else can compare
Plus I almost made him wait the entire time (well, we had 3 minutes to spare)
So if you date a man for the first time, and you are thinking about “getting in it”
Make yourself respectable by at least making him wait an hour (give or take a minute)
Now I know he will always respect me and for our love nothing else compares
And I know he will never leave me, because he is now “locked up”… “downstairs”

“Love’s got a hold on me”… The Phantom Poet


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The Three Degrees and Brett Jolly in concert