Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Protecting your music”)

Are you a songwriter? If so, how much do you know about the rules of copyright? Did you know that other people can “legally steal up to 8 bars of your material?” Do you know the “proper way” to copyright your songs? I have had many artists tell me that they did the “poor man’s copyright” by simply mailing a copy of their song to themselves and then leave it sealed until the court case. In the United States, the best way to protect your song is to simply register it with the “Library of Congress in Washington, DC.” You can send your tune to them through conventional mail or you can just submit it electronically (online). I believe the site is Copyright. gov. If you just Google “copyright options” you will come across a plethora of sites that will claim to copyright your material for you. However, you need to be cautious because these other sites will charge you “more money” to utilize their services. So far the cheapest method I have found is to go straight to the copyright site “directly.” Also, if you have a whole bunch of tunes, you can save yourself a “lot of money” by just “copywriting them all at once.” There is a flat fee for copywriting each time you do it, but there is no limit to the number of songs you can submit. Some people don’t like to go through the trials of copywriting because it can be time consuming. Be wise and protect your music. Also, I have known that many artists will literally “send their music to some “big name artist” in hopes that the artist will utilize their song and thus make them famous. That is a “very dangerous move.” Big name artists will “rip you off” just as well as anyone else, and if your music is not protected then you will only become “yet another victim” to the music industry. You may be surprised at how many people have “already been victimized by this industry. Protect yourself, and if necessary hire a “music entertainment lawyer.” If the proper wording is not used when it comes to contracts you could find yourself losing everything. Get to know the industry before you set yourself free in it. This is just some friendly advice from Brett Jolly. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Facetime: Elton Jolly

Cody Wise, comedian Chris Tucker, Berry Gordy, Kool and the Gang and Brett Jolly in concert.

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Should a man just expect you to have kids for him?”)

I have a situation that just aggravates me. I have a boyfriend that I believe loves me (at least he says he does). I am a model and I love what I do. He just recently told me that he wants to have kids. He said he wants to get married to a woman who will have kids for him. The problem is that I am not ready to have kids yet, and he is making it seem like if I don’t want to have a baby for him, then this relationship will be over. I think that is unfair. I do love him, but right now I am furious with him. Can  you tell me what I should do?

“Leave him.” If he is only interested in what “he” wants, then that means he is a “selfish” lover. By telling you that you need to have kids for him he is basically telling you to either “postpone” or out right “drop” your modeling career.  If he knows you well enough to know that you love modeling, then he should never expect you to just give it up just like that. Also, if he is willing to end the relationship based on that (without first going into an in depth conversation with you about it) then that could also mean that he is “controlling.” This is a “red flag” that no woman should “ever” ignore. There should be at least “two” sides to every discussion, and if your partner can only see his side, then maybe he needs to see your backside as you walk out the door for the very “last” time. There are other options out there for couples, but if he refuses to even discuss those options then in all reality he is “NOT” the one for you. A lot of times people in relationships intend to ignore issues like this in hopes that they will work themselves out. That “never” happens, and that it why it is so important to pay attention to it. It is natural for a lot of men to want kids. It is NOT natural for a man to give an “ultimatum” like that. You have every bit as much at stake in this relationship as he does, so you should “NOT” be the only one making sacrifices. Kids are great to have, but ONLY when you are “properly prepared” to raise them. Depending on how young you are, there may be goals that you still want to reach, and having kids just might impede those goals. It is often difficult to leave someone you love, but you should never let your love for someone change you into something you are not ready to be. If he exhibits this kind of controlling behavior now, then get out of this while you still can. I can guarantee it won’t get any better if you ignore it. If he does like “most’ men do, he will move on to someone else and then later on “regret” ever leaving you. Isn’t it funny how that works? Don’t make yourself a slave to someone who refuses to understand you. Life goes on, with, or without him… By all means, do “you.” Have a great day.

 

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Janet Jackson and Brett Jolly onstage

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: relieving frustration)

Hey Mr. Jolly. I got a topic for you. We all know that everyone has human needs, and the desire for sex is one of them. However, if you know that you cannot have access to sex, then what should you do to help relieve that frustration? Some people take matters into their own hands. What would you recommend?

Everyone is different, and I think people have different sexual levels as well. Some need it a LOT more than others. When I was younger I used to go out and play basketball (which I did a LOT) to relieve tension and frustration. The greater the frustration for me, the better I was at basketball. I hate to say it, but I had some “really” great games (smile). For anyone else, it just takes the art of “knowing your body.” Some people can engage in physical activity (like going out dancing) or some people can just lose themselves in a good “book.” Of course, if you are pent up real bad I believe it is “safe” to take “matters into your own hands” if you feel the need to. I would sincerely recommend “doing something” instead of nothing, because tension and frustration can tend to “mount.” When it gets excessive then it can be like a volcano. It could just “erupt” at a time that you might not want. So to answer your question, I would say pick a hobby or pastime where you can exert a “lot” of energy into and then just “go for it.” It may not be the same as having sex but at least it can help you alleviate a “little bit of something.” It will be up to you to determine what works best. Trial and error may be the way to start. If it makes you feel more “relaxed” then you may have found the right “remedy” for you. Good luck to you, and please don’t bruise your fingers (smile). Thank you for submitting your topic and have a great day.

 

Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or send me a friend request on Skype at username Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

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Famous guitarist Steve Cropper and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: He may have lied)

Mr. Jolly, I just recently met up with a really nice man and we have been dating for 2 weeks. Everything seemed great until I heard from someone who knew his past. It appears that he was married 3 times before and he has 8 children. He never mentioned this to me at all when I asked him about his past. Should I bust his bubble and tell him what I know and if it is true, should I leave him? That is an awful lot of marriages and kids. Can you tell me how I should handle this?

Wow….8 kids? He should be walking with a “limp” by now… Sorry, that was bad to say… In this instance it is quite possible that he either lied to you or the person who told you about his circumstances was in error. Unless you know “for sure” you should not confront him in an accusatory way yet. It would be wise to “do  your homework” first to make “absolutely sure” the information you got is factual. If you find out that your friend was right, then you may need to have some form of “sit down” with your man. The problem is that if he can lie to you about “one” thing, then he can certainly lie to you about “every” thing… I can’t imagine how anyone could possibly expect to hide 8 kids. I always try not to judge people by their pasts. I believe that most of us have made mistakes that we wish we could error correct. In this instance, his crime was not in his marriages or the number of kids he has. His crime is the fact that he “lied” to you. It is quite possible that he might “still be” involved relationship-wise with one (or ALL) of his “baby mommas.” If he is lying to you then he could be lying to everyone else as well. It is important to “find out” before you “lower the boom” on him. You would be surprised the amount of information you can find on people if you just Google their names online. Sometimes you can find out occupations, family members or even wives or husbands. When you start in a new relationship it is important to tell the truth, because when you lie you will have to “continue” to lie even more in order to protect the lie you originally told. If you can’t trust him in the beginning, then you definitely can’t trust him in the end. You deserve to know the truth, even if you can’t get it from “him.” Let your “fingers do the walking” (remember that ad from a long time ago?) and type away on your keyboard until you find the results you seek. Once everything is “confirmed” then you can have a “coming out” party with your new man. Good luck to you and we wish you the best. Here he comes from the side exit, so please welcome the Phantom Poet:

It can be so refreshing when you start new relationships in your lives
but what do you do when you find he had 8 kids and 3 wives?
I wouldn’t be so active right now trying to look for any proof
If this buzzard had only done the right thing and told the truth
I can even check online to see how recently he has been to court
Because NO one can hide when it comes to owing for child support
Because if he has a plan to lie to me then I certainly intend to foil it
And if he is sprouting kids like that then he can’t even use my toilet
The chances that he might be the right man for me seem to be “slimming”
Because every time he enters my house the fish automatically “stop swimming”
A lie is a lie and it doesn’t matter how you want to tell it
And to build on a lie is wrong, so I won’t let you compel it
But now that I know the truth, I forgive you… without any doubt
“Hey, guess what? I lied.” Now please get the hell OUT!
I know the deal now, and there is no longer any need to rap
Because “a bird in the hand is worth a pound of bird CRAP!”
You have 30 seconds to leave because when it comes to ammunition I am not bereft
and since I am now loading up this gun, you now have exactly 19 seconds left
At least I was gracious enough to give you the utmost warning
And if I happen to clip you, I’m sure your wives will thank me “in the morning”

“Wow, he can duck and dodge REAL well”… the Phantom Poet

Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com (or you can send me a friend request on Skype at username Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.

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Legendary Blues singer Bonnie Raitt and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: The role of churches)

Over the weekend I had a talk with a woman who was a gospel singer “AND” a minister. We had a gig someplace up in Northern New Jersey and the gig went well, but it was our conversation afterwards that inspired me to write my Daily Thought for today. You see, I “love” to interview and ask people questions about their professions, and with her I wanted to get some really “deep” answers. She did NOT disappoint me at all. The first thing I asked her about was her opinion of most other preachers she had heard. She said that a “lot” of preachers “don’t do their homework on scriptures” and instead opt to take “any” passage out of the Bible and just spin their “own” interpretations of what they “think” it means. She said many preachers are more “show” than “substance” and most times the congregation will go along with what is being said even if it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Of course, after hearing this I felt as though I had to dig even deeper with her. I asked her if she thought churches properly reflected the will of Christ. The first thing she told me was that Jesus was “about relationships, not religion. He was more interested in how we treated each other than in trying to bring people to church.” She also stated that Jesus “didn’t even own a building.” She then said that Jesus Christ never collected an offering or tithe from anyone. If anything, he gave to others in need, and encouraged others to do the same. She also said that many churches deal with what’s inside the church, but very few will actually go “out on the streets” like Jesus did to reach out to those in dire need of salvation. Most churches expect the people to come to them… NOT vice versa. One thing she said that was incredibly funny. She said she has found that “most” preachers who preach “constantly” against things like homosexuality are likely “gay” themselves. She said that those who preach against infidelity “constantly” are usually the ones who end up “cheating” on their wives. I asked her why she thought some preachers make up their own interpretations of the Bible, and she said “Because most of them are so busy doing other things to raise money for the church that they don’t have the TIME to truly study the Good Book. When churches and their preachers talk about money all the time then they are not promoting the will of Christ but rather their own “businesses,” which in essence “is” the “church.” When thinking about it, it does appear that a lot of churches are in the business of making money because tithes and offerings are always being collected there. Then I asked her about the fallen preacher idols, like Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart and Henry Lyons. She said that people gave them LOTS of money to hear them preach the word of God, but in the end they proved to be “just as fallible” as those they preached against. They spoke against sin and fornication and made millions doing so, only to become victims to the very words they preached. For those of you who don’t know the stories of these people, you may want to Google them online. PLEASE note that today’s Daily Thought is NOT my concept, nor does it necessarily reflect my opinion on religion or God. I realize more than anything else that our “faith” is what most people need in order to make sense of this world. I just felt that this minister’s stance was one “worth noting” today. Is she right? Please do NOT send me any hate letters. instead, I would love to know from “anyone” if she is correct in her assessment of some churches or if there is anything she missed when it comes to her views. As always, I welcome any and ALL opposing views and opinions. I am not looking to divide, but rather find ways to “unite.” Hopefully you will see that. Thank you so much for understanding and have a great day.

Got a topic? Contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com (or send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.

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Stevie Wonder and Brett Jolly

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Attracted to wife’s best friend)

I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. I am happily married to an incredibly beautiful woman and I love her tremendously. However, whenever her friend Barbara comes over I feel very uncomfortable, because to me she is really attractive. I can feel my wife staring me up and down every time Barbara comes over the house, and I try my best not to stare However, I can’t help but to feel attracted to this woman. I am not a pervert. Can something like this be normal for anyone who is in a dedicated and committed relationship?

Just because you are married to the love of your life doesn’t mean that you can’t somehow “have feelings” for someone else. We ALL can feel attraction and it doesn’t have to necessarily be to “only” one person. “However,” because of your circumstances, it would be wise to exhibit as much “self control” as you can and not “act” upon your feelings. You see, as long as you are human then it is quite possible to like someone else other than your soul mate, but it is up to “you” to “control” those urges. Women can sense things in a man (and part of that is the fact that we are “terrible” when it comes to hiding or concealing anything) so chances are your wife already “suspects” that you are digging Barbara. One of the best ways to make sure you don’t slip is to constantly hug, talk to and even kiss your wife in front of Barbara. Your wife will “appreciate the attention” and then maybe she won’t stare you up and down as much whenever Barb comes over. Since Barb is your wife’s friend, maybe you can utilize that time to watch a game on television or something (preferably out of the view of Barbara). I’m sure your wife won’t mind you utilizing this time in that manner. Men can be “real dogs” and women know this. They know that if a leggy woman in a short skirt and heels walks in front of you then chances are your eyes are going to “roam” all over her. That is how men develop such GREAT “peripheral vision.” A good man will catch her right out of the remote corner of his eye (and he will make sure not to turn his head because he already KNOWS his woman is staring at him from the OTHER direction). As pretty as Barbara make seem to you she can’t replace the woman that you are already with. As long as you realize that then there should be no problem from you. EVERYONE has urges, but it is up to us to exercise self control. Just like you wouldn’t want your wife to ogle some other man, you should be the same way for her. You can’t help being “human” but you “can” help being a “human jerk.” Accept the fact that you are attracted to Barbara, but brush it off and “continue” to love your woman unconditionally, because down the road SHE is the one who is going to “have your back.” I know you all have missed him, but he is finally “back.” Applause please, for the Phantom Poet:

Whenever my wife’s friend comes over, I try my best not to stare real hard
That’s because I find myself developing feelings for her friend Barb
Whenever my eyes focus in her, I try my best not to “zoom”
And I can feel the presence of my wife’s eyes from across the room
I have to look away whenever Barb wears a tight low cut blouse
Because my wife knows where our gun is in the house
I think Barb might dig me too but there is no way to really tell
I just know that if she ever hits on me, I will run like hell
I know how feisty my wife is, so I have already been warned
Because Hell hath “no” fury like that of a woman “scorned”
My wife will tell me in a minute, and she will even leave little “reminders”
Whenever Barb comes over the house, I have to wear horse “blinders”
Like a good man is supposed to do in order to keep his marriage nice and sunny
Whenever your wife puts these conditions on you, just do it and say “Yes, honey”
Because if you can’t control your urges, then you had better go sit alone
Because with your wife, the “teeth” you save… might “just” be “your own”

Marvelously done, by the Phantom Poet

 

Got a topic? Contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at username Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.

 

The Emotions (“You got the best of my love”) and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Change and why we are so afraid of it)

Why is it that most people who know they need change in their lives are so afraid to initiate it? The other day I talked to a female who had a boyfriend who didn’t support any of her life objectives, didn’t want her to be more successful than him and often said and did things to sabotage her chances of moving forward with her career. He constantly accused her of cheating on him, called her nasty names and blatantly disrespected her. “Everyone” who is familiar with this situation “knows” that this man is no good for her, but yet she still accepts him after all his misdeeds. When I talked to her she told me that this man treats her so bad, so I asked her why didn’t she just “leave” him. She responded by simply saying, “I don’t know.” I told her that sometimes the biggest changes don’t come from what you add to your life, but rather from what you “subtract.” I personally saw the texts that this man was sending her accusing her of infidelity. He called her a lot of nasty names and sounded very much like he was abusing her verbally. She said she can’t leave him because he knows where she lives and she would never be able to escape  him. She also told me that she had a previous relationship with a guy who stalked her constantly and also mistreated her. This man would change his Facebook identity all the time so that he could spy on her and even send friend requests to her friends anonymously. At that point I began to realize that no matter how many men mistreat her, the only way to save her is to “change” her. You see, a man can only get away with what a woman “allows” him to get away with, and if she has the means to leave this man but never accepts it, then how much blame is attributed to him and how much to her? This is where “change” comes in. Sometimes in order to instill change in your mate, you have to instill change in yourself. Men “will” respect you when you “respect yourself.” You should never consider yourself “powerless.” Often a man will accuse the woman of cheating to hide the fact that he himself is cheating, but as long as he can keep you on the defensive you won’t have the time or opportunity to figure that out for yourself. Yes, some people are afraid of change, but one way or another, change is “inevitable.” Never be afraid to take the opportunity to direct your life in a much more positive direction.  “Change” can work “for” you, but only if you give it the opportunity to do so… Take care, and I hope you have a fantastic day today.

 

Got a topic? Contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co. You can also send me a friend request on Facebook, or on Skype (username Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.

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Patti Labelle and Brett Jolly at an outside concert at Art Museum

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Husband’s best friend coming on to me)

Mr. Jolly. My husband’s best friend  comes over periodically to see him and they always appear to be very good friends. I was glad to see that he had male friends that still come to see him. His friend and I have talked several times and we have had some good discussions. However, my husband has a bowling night on Tuesdays of each week and ALL his good friends know about it. Last Tuesday someone rang our door and it turned out to be my husband’s friend. I informed him that this was my hubby’s bowling night, but for some reason he wanted to come in anyway to speak to me. I started to feel real uncomfortable with this, because I could tell that his intention wasn’t to talk to my husband at all. He started to tell me about the problems he is having with his own wife and he kept repeating to me that he is lonely. He kept complimenting me on how beautiful I was and how lucky my husband is. I wasn’t sure what was on his mind but when he finally decided to leave he asked me for a hug. I didn’t know how to tell him no, so I did hug him. He would not let me go for a long time. His intentions were very obvious and I don’t know if I should tell my husband about this or not. He said he may stop back next Tuesday to see me again. I don’t want any trouble and I am a good woman to my husband. How should I handle this?

Do what you would expect your husband to do if this situation were “reversed.” For this man to sneak behind his back and try to get close to you is totally disrespectful to you both. If you do nothing about it, then this man could possibly start to believe that you like him back, and that could be disastrous. You OWE it to your husband to tell him the truth and the “sooner the better.” While it is great for your husband to have male friends, he most certainly doesn’t need a male friend like “this.” As long as you are truthful, your husband should “appreciate” you for bringing this to his attention. Since this man already has a wife, he is disrespecting her as well. Once your husband knows about this and confronts his friend, I can pretty much tell you what this man is going to say. He will probably tell your husband that “you” led him on. If he is cowardly enough to try to sneak time with you behind your husband’s back then he is cowardly enough to blame you instead of himself. I can not tell you what to do about this specifically, because the answer to that should come from you and your husband. However, I will say that it would be nice if you both set up a little “sting trap” to catch this man in the act. Maybe you can hide your husband’s car next Tuesday and have him wait in the house for this man to come back over. For the record, just remember that some men will only try the things that they “think” they can get away with.  If this man believes that he can be secretive with you then he is prone to believe that you “secretly” want him back. It is up to you to give him a “firm NO.”  Show your husband that you have his back and report this to  him immediately. The longer you wait the more uncomfortable it could be later on. Good luck to you and please update us on this situation.

Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co. You can also send me a friend request on Facebook or Skype (username: Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.

 

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Rapper Chuck D (Public Enemy) and Brett Jolly performing “Fight the Power” in concert

 

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: The Anthony Weiner situation)

Mr. Jolly, I would love to know your take on the Anthony Weiner situation. He was accused of sending sexual texts to other women besides his wife years ago and ended up disgraced from office. Now he is running for mayor of New York city and this is his second time sending sexual messages by texts. It is obvious that he has a problem, but do you think he should be allowed to stay in the race?

Let’s be real about this…  I am convinced that he did all of these things, so in that sense we all know he was “morally” wrong. Normally when someone runs for office and is caught doing something immoral he should be “run out” of the race. However, I have a problem coming to grips with whether the difference between him and all other political opponents is whether he was guilty of the crime or he was just guilty of being “caught.” You see, it is quite possible that a LOT of political candidates engage in some type of immoral behavior, but not enough of them get “caught in the act.” Former mayor of Washington DC Marion Barry was busted in a drug sting in a hotel. Bill Clinton was in danger of being impeached after having an affair with Monica Lewinsky in the oval office. President Obama has just recently been accused of violating everyone’s privacy by examining people’s private phone and internet messages. I have long “given up” on finding any political candidate without “some type of human flaw.” It is quite possible that Mr. Weinder has a “sex” addiction problem and may need help for it. I don’t know enough to be able to determine if that kind of problem will hinder him from doing a good job as an elected official. Clinton’s situation in office was “extremely” immoral, but that never stopped him from being a great President. Whatever Anthony Weiner’s problems are, he is still “no less human” than the rest of us. While it would seem that most people would not want someone with such a weakness as a leader I would not be able to judge his abilities just based on these incidents. I also know that it takes “two to tango.” I find it amazing that these women who are coming out of the woodwork are providing all this evidence as though “he” was the “only” one doing wrong. Considering the fact that he is a “highly well known” political figure I am sure that most of these women just “had to know” that he was already married. Most times “phone sex” involves two partners talking intimately, otherwise it lacks “impact.” Right now Anthony Weiner makes for a great “political punching bag,” The media is having a ball just “taking shots” at him. Being mayor of any city is a high level position that should warrant professional conduct, but if he is elected he will hardly be the first to “violate” the code of ethics that one must maintain. I don’t live in New York City so I won’t be able to vote for him  anyway. What he did was indeed “troubling” but I also know that “no one” is perfect and we all are humanly prone to make mistakes. All jokes aside, I would still make a decision based solely on his platform. Thank you for submitting this topic, and have a great day.

 

Got a topic? Contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co. You can also send me a friend request on Facebook or Skype (username: Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.

 

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Frankie Beverly and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Life transitions… parent to child”)

Someone asked me how I managed to keep my peaceful demeanor (and no, I am not going off on any “ego trip” here). I have this concept where I don’t intend on getting “frantic” over things I “can’t control.” As crazy as it sounds, if I were in a burning house, I would prefer to think “rationally” first before panicking. I have been in scary situations like riding in an air plane that had to “suddenly” swerve back up in to the sky because it wasn’t going to land right in the middle of a huge electrical storm. I have also experienced being in a train derailment (Many years ago in North Carolina between Raleigh and Vance). I also once encountered a rabid dog that was foaming at the mouth trying to attack me and I have also been “shot at.” When I was very young I ran out into the street and was nearly hit by a car. As dramatic as these experiences were, they have no bearing at all on why I view life the way I do. The one responsible for that is “my father.” You see, when I was younger, I was “very inquisitive” about a lot of things, and I loved to challenge people on just about “everything.” Each and every time I had a question or topic for my father, he “always” gave me an answer that made perfect sense. Sometimes it would get me angry, because I was just “waiting” for the opportunity to challenge him on anything he might say that I “knew” was wrong, but that moment “never” came…  Whenever I questioned him about something he said, he never once told me to “just shut up and obey me.” He let me speak my piece and he ALWAYS had an appropriate response. Now, my father is 81 years old and not the knowledgeable man he used to be (but he is still sharp in a lot of ways). I thank him for instilling in me the ability to “rationalize and reason”in accordance with what I feel or know to be right. The other day I had a talk with my daughter about some new boy in her life. I know a lot of fathers who would just “say NO” for the sake of saying “no,” but I was determined NOT to be that kind of father. You see, I told my daughter that the most important thing is for her to know that she has a father that she can “always” come to “whenever” she needs to. I didn’t tell her that I hate the boy or that he needs to stay away from her. I had to come off as more of an “adviser” than an actual parent, and the reason for this is because I “remembered how my father handled me.” Some parents will continue to “behave” like parents for the lifespan of their children. What they don’t realize is that some children have to be allowed the opportunity to make their own mistakes growing up just like “we” did. No matter how much you love your kids, you should never try to live your live over “through them.” My father was instrumental in handling me, and I only hope I can be as “masterful” as he was with me and my brother when it comes to my own kids. My parents “never once” had to come down to the jailhouse to get us out of prison. We never did drugs. My parents kept me off the streets at night even though they knew we wanted to hang with the other kids late at night. It took me a long while, but after finding out what happened to a lot of those kids later on I came to realize that my parents were “right.” Control is not always a “guarantee.” Years ago I knew a church going woman who had 2 beautiful young girls. The girls were brought up in the church, and she protected and sheltered them through just about “everything.” Well, the day came when she finally had to let her girls go for their own into college. They went away out of the state, but they were “not” prepared for the outside world because they were “used” to their mother watching over them. BOTH of the kids got pregnant during their first year of college and had to drop out. What this told me at that time was that it is better for a parent to “guide” children than it is for a parent to “control” children. In other words, instead of issuing orders, it can be more beneficial to issue “guidance.” We ALL are human, and we all are prone to make mistakes, but if you can offer direction to a child then you can help that child “make better decisions” on his or her own (because I am not guaranteed to “always” be here). Life is fragile, unpredictable, and sometimes “scary.” Through the teachings of my father, I have come to realize that a “calm” demeanor will give you a much better edge than and panicked one. I also learned that it is best to give consideration to “all” possibilities and not just “go in the same direction as everyone else.” As long as I “feel good” about the person I am trying to be then I can feel good when I wake up in the morning. For me, that is the “ultimate justification.” Hope your day is special today. Have a great one.

 

Got a topic? You can contact me at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (You can also send me a friend request on Facebook or Skype (username: Brettjolly1)). Thank you and have a great day.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Legendary singer Jerry Butler and Brett Jolly in concert