Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Being a good parent for your grown kids”)

My youngest daughter is in college, and I am one of those parents who “always wants to make sure that my kids know they can talk to me about anything.” I “never” want to be one of those parents who just “dictates to kids” and never listens… My daughter and I talk from time to time, but she also reaches out to me for advice. There is a boy that she has some attraction to, and she thinks he is attracted to her as well. They have been talking, but she told me recently that the texts between them have not been as frequent. As a parent I felt my first responsibility was to listen to her entirely before saying anything. Sometimes kids just need to vent and not be interrupted. I always give my kids the chance to say whatever they feel. After she finished I told her that relationships go “both ways.” If he is truly interested in you then he will also miss the communication if you “stop texting him back.” I let her know that sometimes men get complacent in their ways, and often they may take things for granted. The best thing she can do is have “other alternatives and not wait around for him.” I am not saying that she should date other boys, but she does not need to be dependent on a relationship with any man (and NEVER let your studies slip over a relationship). When it comes to love we all have feelings from the heart. However, it is extremely important to make sure that the other person has the same feelings for you. There is absolutely “nothing wrong” with allowing yourself to be “missed” from time to time. If someone feels that you are “available ALL the time” it might taint a relationship. A “50-50” love relationship is a great thing, but it is extremely rare. That’s because people love to different degrees and most have different ways of expressing it. If it means holding back how you really feel at first then don’t hesitate to do so. One of the worst feelings in the world is to totally give yourself to someone without feeling that you are loved back. I also made sure to tell my daughter that if he no longer wants to communicate with her then he is “obviously not the one for her.” Sometimes “the heart wants what it wants,” but that is when the mind needs to take over. If things no longer feel good, then most times there is a reason for it. You may want to find out that reason, but you may find that doing so will not change the outcome most times. I told her to be sure of herself before committing to any man, because God will surely “bless the woman that’s got her own.” She told me that what I said made sense, and she thanked me for the advice. I told her that is “what real daddies do.” Life with kids is never perfect, but being a good parent means dealing with the tough times when they need you. I will never shirk that responsibility… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com
Skype” Brettjolly1

Famed guitarist Steve Cropper (He played the famous guitar lick on Soul Man) and Brett Jolly in concert

Steve_Cropper_and_Brett

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“What’s up with Donald Trump?”)

http://news.yahoo.com/mccain-takes-high-road-trump-attacks-war-record-155732021.html;_ylt=A0LEV7twP65VRnIA1XEnnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTEzbWFxdmg3BGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDRkZHRTAyXzEEc2VjA3Nj

I usually don’t like to even get involved when it comes to politics, but soon the nation will have to vote for a “new President.” On the Republican side, there are “many” choices to choose from, but my attention today will be focused on just one: “Donald Trump.” He has truly been an “interesting and different” candidate so far. He does not bite his tongue on “anything” and yet his popularity seems to be soaring (according to polls recently taken). I met him years ago when I actually sang for him at his birthday party at the Trump Marina in Atlantic City. I remember that I was only paid $100 for it. Backstage i actually witnessed him holding a  “very healthy conversation” with a model who was absolutely “topless” at the time. Needless to say, Trump was listening to her “very intently.” Hey, I probably would have done so too back then (smile). Now, back to the present, considering all the attacks Mr. Trump has engaged, is there anyone left that he doesn’t owe an apology to? He attacked President Obama over his place of birth, he attacked Rosie O’Donnell, He attacked Whoopie Goldberg, he attacked Mexicans, and he just recently attacked fellow Republican and war veteran John McCain. Other Republicans have been “slow” to distance themselves from him but now it appears that they have no choice but to rebuke his comments. None of that seems to matter to Trump because he appears to revel in the attention he is getting from all of this. What does this say for Donald? I am more concerned with what this says for “us.” If indeed he is now the front runner, then that must mean that we as a people actually “support” racist comments and insulting war veterans. Trump sparked outrage over the weekend when suggested that a serviceman who was captured could not be a real hero, in reference to McCain’s time in a Vietnamese prison. I am sorry, but I “absolutely cannot agree with this.” ANYONE who puts his life on the line to save others will “always” be a  hero to me. The link to the article is above. Donald Trump now poses a very serious challenge to the rest of the Republican Party. He is not going away because he has his “own money” to launch his own campaign. If he does indeed become the front runner, then how long before the others join the bandwagon and start indulging in “outrageous politics along with him?” Whether you like him or not, Trump has been very successful in most of his endeavors. It will be interesting to see whether this particular platform of his can land him a gig in the “White House.” Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always i wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Famed guitarist Steve Cropper (he played the famous guitar lick on “Soul Man”) and Brett Jolly

Steve_Cropper_and_Brett

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“The new age of video…Man’s best friend or worst enemy?”)

There has been a lot of negativity involving police lately. Normally, whenever there would be an incident involving a policeman he would just give his story to other policemen friends and that story would normally be believed first and foremost. An officer would have a lot of power and since he was assumed to be acting on “behalf of the law” then most times people would not want to think there was any kind of “impropriety” going on. However, now we are living in the new age of “video.” Cameras seem to be just about “everywhere,” In most instances, you can’t go through a toll booth without being photographed. You can’t enter most big buildings either. Satellites up in space can pull up pictures of your house right now, and regular ordinary people can now videotape you on their cell phones. What does this all mean? Well, if you are a policeman, there is now ‘more’ pressure to go “by the book” when apprehending someone for a crime or violation, because you never know when your actions will be caught on camera. The cop who murdered the 50 year old man in South Carolina by shooting him in the back recently might still be a “free man” if it had not been for someone “videotaping”  his actions. Just recently in Southern California police were caught on video mercilessly beating Francis Pusok “after securing him with his hands behind his back.” For those who have not seen the video here is the link:

http://patch.com/california/banning-beaumont/sheriff-investigation-ordered-disturbing-video-showing-violent-police-arrest

With the emergence of video cameras (seemingly everywhere now) privacy may no longer be an option for most people (but is this for the better?). I just recently saw a news program where if someone breaks into your home you can actually catch them on video surveillance through your cell phone. This kind of reminds me of the old book “1984” (I think that was the title) where “Big Brother is always watching.” So should we be happy that the presence of video in society is rapidly growing? I think it can help to “deter some” negative activity only because if someone thinks they are being filmed then he or she might be less inclined to take the chance on committing any crime. This would apply to the common criminal as well as the “over aggressive” officer who might take things too far during an arrest. In all fairness to policemen, they have a tough job to do. They have to continually think in accordance of “procedure” while smack dab in the middle of stressful situations. Knowing that they might be videoed might add “even more stress” to their jobs, but hopefully it will help them to be more careful when making arrests as well. Whether we want to welcome it or not, the new age of video is “here,” and I can guarantee that even “more” cameras will be popping up soon. Yes, “Big Brother” is indeed watching and as soon as you leave your house you just “might” be on “Candid Camera.” Let’s hope that it makes for an even “better society.” Thanks for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Famous guitar player Steve Cropper (He played the famous lick on “Soul Man”) and Brett Jolly

Steve_Cropper_and_Brett

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Being used)

Mr. Jolly, I have this female friend (or at least that is how she thinks of us) who never calls me to just talk but only when she wants something. She either needs a ride or some other favor, but mostly she always asks for money. She claims that she never has any money at all for food or personal items, but yet she has a live in boyfriend who is unemployed. I happen to know that this boyfriend doesn’t have any job because I overheard them arguing over it the other day. She was yelling at him about how worthless he is. Please keep in mind that she never told me in the beginning that she even had a live in boyfriend, so I discovered him for the very first time. When I asked her about it, she got very defensive and upset and said that she needed him there to watch over her kid, because otherwise she would have to pay for a babysitter, so she felt it was unfair for me to even mention him or ask why he isn’t contributing anything. Given her circumstances, do you think it is right for her to even ask me for money?

You can tell a lot more about her from what she doesn’t say (and how she doesn’t say it). The fact that she asked you for money in the first place without telling you that she had a boyfriend says a lot about her. If she felt no shame about it, then why would she try to keep him a secret from you in the first place? Conventional wisdom tells me that she didn’t want you to know because she wanted you to think that you had a chance of being in a relationship with her. Once her cover was blown then that was when she became defensive. The problem here is that when you give her money you are NOT just supporting her, but also her boyfriend and her child. She knows that no man would want to do that (and that is why she didn’t mention him to you). If he isn’t working, then how does he eat? Answer: He eats from whatever money she can bring home from conning other people to help feed him. Also, if she is trying to convince you about what a valuable asset he is, then why was she arguing with him about how “worthless” he is? This woman is “psychologically playing” you and the sooner you can distance yourself from her the better. To her, you will always be her friend as long as you can do for her. THAT is not a friendship at all. As for her boyfriend, if he were working, then HE could be the one to pay for the babysitter. As long as her situation doesn’t change then you can expect many more calls from your “friend.” The best way you can help her is to no longer help her at all. If she is using you that that is wrong of her. If you are “allowing” her to use you then that is wrong of “you.” Unless you all like “threesomes” then you don’t stand a prayer of a chance of getting involved with her romantically. Let this one go, and hope that it never comes back to you again.

 

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Legendary guitarist Steve Cropper and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: relieving frustration)

Hey Mr. Jolly. I got a topic for you. We all know that everyone has human needs, and the desire for sex is one of them. However, if you know that you cannot have access to sex, then what should you do to help relieve that frustration? Some people take matters into their own hands. What would you recommend?

Everyone is different, and I think people have different sexual levels as well. Some need it a LOT more than others. When I was younger I used to go out and play basketball (which I did a LOT) to relieve tension and frustration. The greater the frustration for me, the better I was at basketball. I hate to say it, but I had some “really” great games (smile). For anyone else, it just takes the art of “knowing your body.” Some people can engage in physical activity (like going out dancing) or some people can just lose themselves in a good “book.” Of course, if you are pent up real bad I believe it is “safe” to take “matters into your own hands” if you feel the need to. I would sincerely recommend “doing something” instead of nothing, because tension and frustration can tend to “mount.” When it gets excessive then it can be like a volcano. It could just “erupt” at a time that you might not want. So to answer your question, I would say pick a hobby or pastime where you can exert a “lot” of energy into and then just “go for it.” It may not be the same as having sex but at least it can help you alleviate a “little bit of something.” It will be up to you to determine what works best. Trial and error may be the way to start. If it makes you feel more “relaxed” then you may have found the right “remedy” for you. Good luck to you, and please don’t bruise your fingers (smile). Thank you for submitting your topic and have a great day.

 

Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or send me a friend request on Skype at username Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

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Famous guitarist Steve Cropper and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Should the church be allowed to turn anyone away?)

This is a true story. There is this church that I know of. It has been considered a good church and rarely has anything bad been said about it.  I just heard recently that they banished a man from the church because he smelled bad and had bed bugs. Do you think it is right for a church to do that?

The problem I have with this case are the facts that I “don’t” know. Were there any “other” factors that played into this decision? For the most part, I would think the role of the church should be more designed to “save” souls rather than “condemn” them. If this man needed help, then what better place to turn than the church? The issue here is what type of effect did his circumstances have on the rest of the congregation? Was he disruptive during service? Was he delusional or interrupting the church services? It would help to know more information, but given what you have said I would have hoped that the church “helped” him instead. Sometimes people can hit “low points” in life. When that happens, a change is usually in order. Attending a church is a way to bring salvation to your life and give you a whole new direction. ANYONE can attend church when times are “great.” When someone has hit “rock bottom” there are usually two directions that he or she would encounter. One is “jail” and the other one is “death.” What people don’t realize is that there IS a third option, and that is “religion.” If someone needs help and turns to the church, I just can’t imagine the church turning him or her away under “any” circumstances, and that includes stench and/or bed bugs. It would have been nice if the church had taken him and washed him up and counseled him instead. It is quite possible that this particular church may have already done so and maybe wasn’t equipped to devote as much time to this individual as needed. Without all the facts this is tough to ascertain. However, it is also important to note that ALL churches are “NOT” alike. I have known of churches that do more promoting of “tithes and offerings” than they do “The Word.” I have known of churches who give much better consideration to “persons of higher status” than regular members of their own congregation. To me a great church is one that “doesn’t care” who you are, and will offer a chance for salvation to ALL who are “in need of it.” I have heard that many pastors are also attempting to counsel people on love and relationships. To me the most important role of the church should be to “save souls.” Would Jesus have turned someone away because of a foul odor or bed bugs? Let’s hope that churches become “less of a business” and more of a “salvation” for people in need. Only you can determine if your church is the right fit for you. It is important to listen to what is said, but it is also important to listen “beyond” what is being said. Get to know your church and find out where it “stands,” and if something doesn’t feel right, then either raise the question or move on. Faith can be your mightiest weapon, and your church should be your “ammunition” store. If they are selling “defective bullets” then by ALL means, “take your business/faith elsewhere.” Here is a little tidbit of faith from the Phantom Poet:

When hitting a low point in life, there’s nothing wrong with striving for a higher perch
That is why it should be very important for people to at least consider going to church
Everyone should be allowed to come in for services and allowed to take a seat
But what about if your church decides to banish a derelict off the street?
This person may not be able to offer any tithes due to lack of wealth
but shouldn’t this person be entitled to salvation just like anyone else?
I think it is VERY important for people to hear what the the church has to say
But I just can’t find any justification in a church turning ANY individual away
The church should open it’s doors to anyone in need and be the proper host
Because if someone is at a low point, then he or she needs Jesus the most
If there are any doubts as to how to handle this, well, here is a little clue:
Why don’t you just ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”
The person could be decrepit, foul, and wasting away from cancer
But no matter the circumstance, for him Jesus should be the “answer”
So for those people who dress up real nice for church all proper and trim
That derelict next to you may seem foul, but in church you are no better than “him”
It is “not” your point to judge him, because for you to do so would be a lie
When the truth of the matter is that responsibility belongs to a much higher authority.. than “you or I”

“Amen” The Phantom Poet

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Send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Famed guitarist Steve Cropper and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: What to get for birthday)

Subject: What to get
 
I’m dating a guy I really like and want to give him a birthday present. I don’t know what to get. We’ve been dating six months. I don’t want to embarrass him, and I’d like it to be something he can use and really enjoy. Could you give me a few ideas?
 
Absolutely! A lot of men like sports. Giving him tickets to a game would a GREAT idea. If he is like most men, he rarely has time to buy tickets on his own, plus it would be something that the both of you could enjoy together… It might be so much fun to him that the two of you can even have a little sex afterwards (sorry, wrong thought process there). Men also love FOOD. If you know his favorite meal, cook him a great dinner that will REALLY leave a lasting impression on him (or take him out to eat). The great thing about this is that it shouldn’t strain your budget too much, plus the two of you can enjoy some time together, and maybe even have sex afterwards (Aw, man…I said it again… sorry!). If he likes music, you can get concert tickets to see one of his favorite performers. The good thing about this is that you can also share in his world with him by accompanying him to the show (and if he really likes the show, you “KNOW” what he’s going to want afterwards… Argh, I did it again!). If you want to offer him something truly unique, you could send him a personalized song on CD or music video on DVD. For that, just hit me up for the details at my web site WWW.Love-notes.co. Men also LOVE for their women to dress them up. Women KNOW that we are a “hot mess” when it comes to picking out the right clothes to wear, and NO ONE knows what looks best on us but our women. Depending on what he does for a living, you could purchase a nice sweater, shirt, shoes or anything that he can wear with pride. I’ve known of some women who bought outfits for their men and made them take it off after the evening was over, because they didn’t want their man to meet another woman wearing that same outfit they bought. That might be a bit extreme, but try your best not to think that way, okay? By the way, if your man likes different kinds of music, you may want to look into buying him a satellite radio system for his car (Two kinds: Sirius or XM radio). Satellite radio has a cheap monthly fee (which HE can pay for) but it makes for great listening for those people who are tired of conventional radio playing those same 5 songs. If that doesn’t work then you could get him personalized jewelry, like a really decent watch (So that he will be able to tell when it’s time for you both to have sex). When it comes to most men, they really are not difficult to please. The best way to get something nice for your man is to just know his likes and interests (besides sex, that is). There are some really nice things you can do without having to go way over budget. Cards are okay, but most men don’t appreciate cards the way women do, and we don’t view flowers the same way either. As long as you top off the evening with sex you CAN’T go wrong (Man, I KNOW this is going to get me in a lot of trouble). Okay, scratch that thought, and just go for what you feel will work best, and good luck! Now here is a very “sexy” dissertation from the Phantom Poet:
 
I want to get my man something really special for his birthday
I don’t have lots of money, and I’m not sure of how much to pay
I wanted to show him just how much his love really meant
So far the only thing I could come up with was fungus solvent
He is truly a man I love like no other
So I might even throw in a real nice toenail cutter
I thought about buying him some nice candlewicks
But then I found this great sale on boxes of toothpicks
I’m not great on picking out gifts, and I’m not sure of what to do
The guy at Home Depot told me to buy him a great tube of Super Glue
I wanted to get him something he could use that wouldn’t be a big issue
So I think I’ll just get him a nice package of super toilet tissue
Or maybe some pest strips to line up against his wall
It seems I’m just not capable of getting men good gifts at all
But there is ONE thing I can give, and he’ll love this, I guess
I told him to go upstairs, wait for me, and get undressed
I’ll rock his world, and so shall it forevermore be written
When I finished with his behind, he’ll start purring like a kitten
I know I should have gotten him a regular gift, but it wasn’t so bad
But he now tells me that this was the best birthday gift he EVER had
So forget about jewelry, tickets and all that other crap
When I want to appease my man, I dress up, and let him unwrap
I cannot pick out gifts, but I surely know how to dress
I can satisfy my man, and save money… in the process
So don’t stress out when it comes to buying presents, and alleviate the quirks
When in doubt, go for the one thing that “ALWAYS” works
When getting him something nice, just go for what you know
And afterwards say, “Happy birthday, honey… You are now good to go”
 
                                          “Sleep well”… The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

World famous guitar player Steve Cropper (Played famous lick on “Soul Man”) and Brett Jolly in concert

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