Mr. Jolly, I just recently met up with a really nice man and we have been dating for 2 weeks. Everything seemed great until I heard from someone who knew his past. It appears that he was married 3 times before and he has 8 children. He never mentioned this to me at all when I asked him about his past. Should I bust his bubble and tell him what I know and if it is true, should I leave him? That is an awful lot of marriages and kids. Can you tell me how I should handle this?
Wow….8 kids? He should be walking with a “limp” by now… Sorry, that was bad to say… In this instance it is quite possible that he either lied to you or the person who told you about his circumstances was in error. Unless you know “for sure” you should not confront him in an accusatory way yet. It would be wise to “do your homework” first to make “absolutely sure” the information you got is factual. If you find out that your friend was right, then you may need to have some form of “sit down” with your man. The problem is that if he can lie to you about “one” thing, then he can certainly lie to you about “every” thing… I can’t imagine how anyone could possibly expect to hide 8 kids. I always try not to judge people by their pasts. I believe that most of us have made mistakes that we wish we could error correct. In this instance, his crime was not in his marriages or the number of kids he has. His crime is the fact that he “lied” to you. It is quite possible that he might “still be” involved relationship-wise with one (or ALL) of his “baby mommas.” If he is lying to you then he could be lying to everyone else as well. It is important to “find out” before you “lower the boom” on him. You would be surprised the amount of information you can find on people if you just Google their names online. Sometimes you can find out occupations, family members or even wives or husbands. When you start in a new relationship it is important to tell the truth, because when you lie you will have to “continue” to lie even more in order to protect the lie you originally told. If you can’t trust him in the beginning, then you definitely can’t trust him in the end. You deserve to know the truth, even if you can’t get it from “him.” Let your “fingers do the walking” (remember that ad from a long time ago?) and type away on your keyboard until you find the results you seek. Once everything is “confirmed” then you can have a “coming out” party with your new man. Good luck to you and we wish you the best. Here he comes from the side exit, so please welcome the Phantom Poet:
It can be so refreshing when you start new relationships in your lives
but what do you do when you find he had 8 kids and 3 wives?
I wouldn’t be so active right now trying to look for any proof
If this buzzard had only done the right thing and told the truth
I can even check online to see how recently he has been to court
Because NO one can hide when it comes to owing for child support
Because if he has a plan to lie to me then I certainly intend to foil it
And if he is sprouting kids like that then he can’t even use my toilet
The chances that he might be the right man for me seem to be “slimming”
Because every time he enters my house the fish automatically “stop swimming”
A lie is a lie and it doesn’t matter how you want to tell it
And to build on a lie is wrong, so I won’t let you compel it
But now that I know the truth, I forgive you… without any doubt
“Hey, guess what? I lied.” Now please get the hell OUT!
I know the deal now, and there is no longer any need to rap
Because “a bird in the hand is worth a pound of bird CRAP!”
You have 30 seconds to leave because when it comes to ammunition I am not bereft
and since I am now loading up this gun, you now have exactly 19 seconds left
At least I was gracious enough to give you the utmost warning
And if I happen to clip you, I’m sure your wives will thank me “in the morning”
“Wow, he can duck and dodge REAL well”… the Phantom Poet
Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com (or you can send me a friend request on Skype at username Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.
Legendary Blues singer Bonnie Raitt and Brett Jolly in concert