Yet another new chapter in the story that revealed pro basketball’s Donald Sterling as a racist has recently emerged. It appears as though V. Stiviano, the young woman who was “alleged” to have been his mistress, was actually reported to be “very saddened” by his life time ban from pro basketball. Through the representation of her attorney, Mac Nehoray, it was said that she never meant for any harm to come to Donald. How “touching…” The man who didn’t want Blacks around obviously felt she was the “exception” to the rule, and reportedly was with her a lot at the Clippers games. For those of you who didn’t know, she is part Mexican and Black. It has ALSO been reported that Sterling’s wife, Rochelle, was taking her to court to reclaim a $1.8 million dollar apartment, a couple of autos and cash that she claimed her husband “gave” to this minority woman. IF this (or any of this) is true then it makes for one big mess. The two things I don’t understand is that if Mr. Sterling was so racist, then why associate himself with this Black woman? The other thing I can’t seem to understand is that if Mr. Sterling was so racist, then why would she continue to want to associate with this man? The only answers I seem to come up with are “sex” and “money.” Her attorney said that they never had a sexual relationship. If that is the case, how does a Black woman get a luxury apartment, a couple of autos and cash from a bigot? I’m sure he didn’t give it to her so she could donate it all to the United Negro College Fund. I think if “most” of us were giving those kinds of gifts to one particular person we would be “hitting it every wrong way we could.” Her attorney also said that she was not the one who leaked the tape, but rather someone else did it who wanted money. I just wonder who knew Sterling and Stiviano well enough to know exactly “when” to be in close enough proximity to “time AND predict” when he was going to say his “racist remarks (after all, this was “obviously” planned).” This was “amazingly convenient.” The conversation sounded “extremely personal” to me and not once through the recording did I hear a third party voice intervene. Last time I checked it was “illegal” to record and use a person’s conversations “without the consent of the individual.” Yes, Sterling was obviously set up and railroaded, but it seems to me that he should now lave legal grounds to sue someone for “extortion and invasion of privacy.” As for the woman, if I was getting million dollar apartments, autos, complimentary basketball seats and cash from a rich bigot, I guess I would be saddened too if he was banned for life. For her to receive those kinds of gifts she must have been one helluva great employee. I wonder if it was her “short hand or long hand” that earned her “raise?” What about her oral dissertations? The lesson that needs to be learned here is that even though you are allowed freedom of speech, you have to be careful how you “exercise” your rights. Mr. Sterling made what he “thought” were “confidential” statements and now without any trial he has been “tried, judged and executed” through the media. While he “most likely” deserved it, don’t be surprised if you hear that Mr. Sterling has sued over the loss of his “civil rights.” He may no longer be entitled to a team or an NBA game, but he should still be entitled to “that.” V. Stiviano should make a good mint from doing television and radio interviews now, and should no longer need Sterling’s money. She will probably “go down” in history with Monica Lewinsky (oops, maybe I shouldn’t have said “go down”) as women who “brought down” famous male celebrities. As for the rest of us, “race” always continue to sell, and we will continue to get “whatever we can” from the residuals of this case that will probably come “after the facts.” Hope you take the time to enjoy your “quality of life” in the process. Have a great day, everyone…
Former “Wonder Woman” and now country singer Linda Carter and Brett Jolly before a concert
Mr. Jolly, my new wife and I are doing good, but there seems to be a problem. We have been married for 6 months but she is already telling me that I should not have any female friends at all other than her. I can honestly say that I have had female friends throughout my life that I have never been intimate with and never crossed that line with in any way. They are only friends. Some of them I even invited to my wedding. I do want my wife to feel secure, but this feels rather extreme for me. When a man gets married, does that mean that he has to give up being friends with all the other women he has been friends with?
There are several ways to look at this. If your wife had a lot of male friends, would it bother you if she still kept them as friends after your marriage? I always say that when it comes to relationships, what’s good for one is good for “every” one… If she has any male friends that she is still in contact with, then your situation should equal hers. To me the biggest issue here is the actual “definition” of friends…. A “friend” needs to be someone that your wife should also know personally (even though that can often be misleading as well). If your “friends” are people that your wife cannot meet or “know of” (for whatever reason) then she has every right to feel suspicious. When you get married you are essentially “one” unit, so you should be willing to share everything. Your wife will probably change her mind about your female friends once you “introduce” her to them. Most women can tell if another woman is really just a friend or a threat. It is up to you to make her “feel comfortable” with your friends. If you cannot do that, then your female friends need to go. Of course, that also goes for her as well if she plans to hold onto any of her male friends. Personally, I do not believe that when you get married you have to give up all your friends of the opposite sex. I do believe that you have to give up all acts of infidelity, though. As long as you honor your marriage and matrimonial commitment, I honestly don’t think there should be any problems. With any marriage, you need to work out the details with your spouse, preferably “before” you say “I do.” Placing stipulations after the fact can often appear “demanding and controlling.” As usual, good communication should always make a difference. Good luck to you and I wish you and your wife the very best.
Actress Gabrielle Union and Brett Jolly
I love basketball. When I was younger I used to wake up at 5:00 am just to go to the courts and play it. I would stay there all day and during the evening my mother would have to come over to finally bring me home. Now I check out the NBA basketball playoffs whenever I am able. Of course, the game has been recently tainted by a taped conversation from the Clippers owner Donald Sterling. He was talking to his girlfriend, whose last name is Stiviano, and telling her not to bring any Blacks to his games and he was upset with her taking a picture with Earvin “Magic” Johnson, a African American former NBA star. If the voice in the tape is in fact Sterling’s (and the tape has not been altered in any way) then it “clearly” shows how racist the owner is. The networks are having a “field day” with this news and Sterling is being publicly “crucified” by many people (including his own team). There are several pieces to this puzzle that are perplexing, though, and I would love to explore them here. First, if this man has a wife (and it was reported that he does have one) then how is it that this woman has been “identified” as his “girlfriend?” Also, if this man has such a bad dislike of Blacks, then how is it that this alleged “girlfriend” is part Mexican and Black? It has also been “alleged” that this girlfriend who taped his conversation is the defendant in a case by the Sterling family for extorting over a million dollars from them…. As you can see, there is a lot more to this story than “meets the eye.” Here are some of the questions that I ask. “Why” did this woman decide to tape him saying these things? What was her “motivation behind it?” Also, when she taped him, did she actually “know” that he was going to say racist remarks, or did she actually “set him up” just so to record him? It seems “quite convenient” that she “just managed” to have a secret tape recorder “handy and ready” at the right time. Finally, if she was his girlfriend, why did she release the tape to the media? Did they have an argument or disagreement or something even deeper? She had to have some type of animosity towards him to do something like that. No matter what the circumstances are, if those words are verified to be Donald Sterling on tape then the NBA commissioner needs to strip him or his ownership of the team. In a league that is more than 75% African American it is extremely offensive to say something racist like that. I also find it dumb to display a hate for minorities “especially when you are dating one.” I also saw the picture of this woman. Sterling is “incredibly old.” This woman was very young and could “only” have been into him for his “money.” To me, that means she is a “gold digger.” I don’t doubt the “authenticity” of the recording at all, but it is imperative that the investigation is “complete” before judging this case fully. If the woman did tape him, then to me that means that he was “truly set up.” That automatically tells me that if someone could go to this length to get him, then that also means that she could go the full stint to “conjure” evidence against him as well. To me, however, the fact that she even had the “inkling” of an idea that she could catch him making racist remarks on tape means that she must have already known about his racist views. We should keep in mind that she is not innocent by any means, because if she knew he was a racist, then why hang around with him (especially since she was part Black and Mexican) unless, of course, it was for his “money?” So at this point, I do believe that Mr. Sterling was “set up.” I am just not sure as to “what extent” he was set up… So what should happen here? Should the fans still attend the playoff games? “Absolutely,” because boycotting the playoffs won’t hurt Sterling, but it “will” hurt the players who worked so hard to get where they are. They “need” the support of their fans for motivation. However, it would be nice if those fans in attendance stage a “special” event to show condemnation for the owner while still showing support for the team. This has to be a “major” distraction for the players, and through fan support they just might be able to get their “focus” back. Discrimination is wrong under “any” category, but it is still “very” prevalent in society today. We cannot eliminate it entirely. Everyone has some kind or prejudice or stereotype, but if you are in a position of authority then you “cannot” let those feeling show. Mr. Sterling made a “major” mistake, and he was “incredibly stupid” to trust in this “girlfriend” while he had a supporting and loyal wife at home. Now it looks as though he is going to have to pay for his mistakes, and the sooner the better. Let’s hope that the players won’t have to pay for his actions as well. Everyone has the right to feel outraged, but by all means, make sure that you “hit the right targets.” The owner is only “one” man, and people need to be “fair” to the team itself. The “best” way to counter hatred…. is with “love…” Have a great day, everyone.
Al Sharpton, Dick Gregory and Brett Jolly in background
nteresting week for me. This past Wednesday I performed at my usual Wednesday night event, but I was quite surprised to find Christine Washington, the wife and former manager of the late great saxophonist Grover Washington, Jr., in attendance. I had not seen her in years and she looked good. Well, needless to say, the band decided that for our first set we would honor her husband, and we played all Grover songs. I got on the microphone and told the audience to give her a big round of applause for her sharing her husband with the rest of the world. I also mentioned some special stories about Grover and me back in the day. She loved hearing us play her husbands music and of course we kicked it out. It was a very special moment. Tonight I have a gig behind the “children” of two great legends. I had the chance to rehearse yesterday behind Theresa, who is the “daughter” of the late Minnie Riperton. At practice it was amazing just to hear the resemblance in her voice to her mother (and the physical resemblance as well). Then we had the chance to rehearse behind the late Jackie Wilson’s son, Bobby. Bobby looks just like his dad and sounded a lot like him as well. When talking to him I actually felt like I was talking to Jackie. Of course, this wasn’t the first time that I played behind the child of a lost legend. Years ago at an award show I performed “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” with Otis Redding’s son “Dexter Redding.” While it wasn’t Otis, it still felt special. No living legend lasts forever, and if the children can pick up the slack then by all means I think they should just “go for it.” Even though I am feeling a little “under the weather” today I still hope to make this evening special. I hope you don’t mind me sharing my experience with you today and I wish you the very best that this day can bring.
Grover Washington Jr., my brother Bill Jolly, and Brett Jolly
I recently had a conversation with someone who has a son who is quite talented. That should be great news, but it appears as through the boy’s only interest is in hanging out with his gang friends and doing much of nothing. I was told that he can figure out just about anything and can fix most things whenever he applies his mind to it. The father told me that this boy could be useful but he seems to work even harder just to avoid work, and the father didn’t know what to do. I told him that a lot of young kids lack direction in the early stages of their lives. They want to hang out with the wrong element because of peer pressure and apathy towards wanting to build a career. The problem here is that if this kid feels that his family will pick up the slack from him not working, then there is no longer any motivation for the child to find a job. Provided that the child is of age, there are several opportunities for the boy to find employment. The best thing you can do is to “pull the plug” on spoiling this kid. He has to come home to live. Make him “earn” his keep. He needs clothes, food and all the other things that boys want (like computer stuff, and girls). If you let the boy know that he needs a gig in order to stay at home, then he will have no other choice but to at least go “looking.” He could probably make a lot of money as an auto mechanic, but he needs certification and training. If you let the child know just how much money mechanics can make then that should be more than enough inspiration. The gang members he hangs with will disappear in time. Some will get arrested, some will fall on hard luck and some will actually get their acts together. Rarely do you hear of “old gang members” that still hang out on the corners. Let this child know that you are willing to pay for the proper schooling and if that doesn’t do it then be prepared to go to the “last resort.” If you threaten to throw him out (and actually follow through on that threat) at a certain future date then you will in essence “force his hand.” Some kids need to have a fire lit under them before they get their lives straight. Once this boy gets his career launched, you can rest assured the child will thank you at some point in his life. A child will test your limits and if possible they will expect you to finance them throughout life. The best think you can do for this boy is get him to “stand on his own.” My friend thanked me and said that he was going to try out what I said on his son. Hopefully I will have good news to tell you later. Hope you have a great day today.
Brett Jolly, Philly DJ Patty Jackson and Norman Connors (“You are my starship”)