Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Some small advice on keeping your love life intact)

Yesterday was father’s day here in the United States. Each year on this date it is usually customary to honor those who are father figures. This “normally” means honoring males (but sometimes it also involves women who fill that role).  However, I heard some very disheartening news about a couple who actually “broke up” on Father’s day. I heard details of the break up (I’m pretty sure I have not heard all sides of the story though). I do believe I know enough to make a firm statement on what went wrong. Please keep in mind that “whatever it took to land your mate” you need to “continue doing it in order to keep your mate.” If you think in any way that you can let yourself go simply because you believe “I got this person now” then that is dangerous thinking that can eventually work against you. Once you learn your mate and find out “all the things that set him or her off” then try to avert doing those things. Everyone has a limit. If you know that engaging in a certain activity will set your partner off then you need to try to eliminate that option. Time can also be a very big factor in your happiness if you feel you should try to argue your point when your mate is tired of frustrated. There is nothing wrong with waiting for cooler heads to prevail. In fact, it might be “very beneficial” to making sure you don’t argue. In any relationship don’t act from “what you THINK you know…” Instead, act from what you “ACTUALLY DO know…” When you put pieces together “in your mind” and make up your own story without any confirmation of anything then you are already setting yourself up for a BIG argument. Always think about what you are going to say BEFORE you say it. If you already know that your lover is not going to like the way you are handling this then try to find a more subtle way to mention it. While what you say is important, HOW you say it is equally as important. If it feels like you are starting off with an attitude then it sets the precedent for a long fight (that may not even be necessary). Most attitudes can be determined by “the tone” of what is being said. If you don’t begin with an attitude, then your chances of having  a mild discussion instead of an argument should increase significantly. Finally, don’t let “other people” govern your relationship. Everyone has an opinion about what “YOU” should do (even if they can’t handle their own situations). The more you try to incorporate other people into your private love life the worse your situation can become trying to please everyone else. Please understand that no one is perfect, and that includes you and your lover. I’m sure there is more that can be mentioned here but I will stop it right here for now. Remember that what you should get out of your love life should depend heavily on what you invest into it. To make it work involves time, passion, respect and thought. Good luck to you. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Singer Ashanti in concert with Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (The best at dance moves onstage)

There have been some great dancers onstage. Vocals were always important but people like to be entertained as well. Dancing always gave the show “something extra” and those who knew how to do it made it work to their benefit. Michael Jackson was really good at it. Prince was great at it as well. However, if you want to check out the person who was the greatest at it then you need to look at the one that these people learned from. This man’s show was constant energy, and I honestly think he had the best dance moves of anyone onstage. You can make your own determination, but if you know of anyone who was better than this man I want to see him. Please check this clip out and tell me what you think. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Musical sample taken from last night at my Wednesday night open mic event)

The joy of playing music is in the diversity of it. You don’t have to be limited to what you can play. My motto is simplistic: “Play EVERYTHING.” In other words, there is no song that I won’t at least attempt to play. My guys are pretty much the same way. If we don’t know a song, we will take our phones and give a quick listen to it on Youtube and then play it anyway. Last night, we had several requests, but someone wanted us to play a Rick James song. We had a packed house and felt great about everything.  If you are ever in the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania area on a Wednesday night I hope you come out to see us at the Crab Tavern (201 North Macdade Blvd in Darby, PA) from 8 pm to 12 midnight. We have so much fun. Check us out for yourself. On this track I am singing lead. Hope you enjoy the clip. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Paying tribute last night to a fallen friend)

In this business of music it is important to note that we have a small circle of people as musicians. It is great to witness the artistry of members and to see the love that we should have for each other. Here in Philadelphia one of our members, Thomas Bucknasty, recently died and we had a ceremony for him last night at the Clef Club. It was put together by T Life, a prominent man in musical history (Not just here in Philadelphia, but everywhere). Last night, he threw an  extended repass and tribute to Bucknasty and I was in attendance. It was great supporting the cause, and I even got to perform 2 numbers. I didn’t have my band with me, but I managed to get musicians to play for me and I think my portion went well. As musicians we provide entertainment for people. That is what we do. Sometimes we have to go onstage whether we feel good or not and at least “pretend” that we are having a great time. We all have to substitute for one another in units whenever things happen. That is why it is so important for us to support each other. Last night I had a talk with some of my veteran music friends and we talked about the younger musicians. We knew that today’s music doesn’t leave them much to emulate. The music is usually not very good and very simplistic to learn (so there are no real challenges to it). The best thing that a young musician can do today is learn from one of the experienced musicians around. Some young musicians already think they know it all, and that is a very sad mistake. As long as you live, you need to learn more. Once you stop learning, you stop growing. We were once in their shoes, and we listened to make ourselves better.  If the art of music is to survive, then we need to pay attention. Believe it or not, live music is in danger of becoming extinct. There used to be live musicians in the studios recording music. Now there is just an engineer who finds “loops” on the net. Our institution of music needs to be protected, and it has to start with us. Support your live music events. If you don’t do it now, you may lose it. For the sake of our musical future, we all need to be counted. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Brett Jolly in Afro Wig paying tribute to Sly Stone in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Something I never knew about the Star Spangled Banner)

Someone told me that there was a 3rd verse to the Star Spangled Banner and it was also mentioned that the person who wrote the song was a racist (and a slave owner). I never knew this before, so I decided to Google it and check it out for myself. Sure enough, Francis Scott Key was in fact a slave owner and he had a third verse to the Star Spangled Banner advocating the killing of slaves. Of course I do have respect and love for my country, but should “anyone” allow this song to represent our values when pledging allegiance? Even though this third verse had been deleted from the song the underlaying concept of it still remains. I realize that a LOT of famous historians were slave owners during that time. I am not one to try to change history, but I am someone who would love to make the present more acceptable to us all. Now might be a great time for us to come up with a “new” National Anthem. For those who would like to judge me, please note that this is “not” a Black-White thing for me. If you are advocating killing anyone or distributing hatred then I just don’t see the need to promote your values for you. To me, it doesn’t make a difference what color you are. Yes, there are other famous people who exhibited hatred. Thomas Jefferson, our third President, had slaves and ever bore children with them. My kids are actually products of his heritage and family line. If we are to eliminate hatred from our existence, then we need to start with those things that promote it. This is not about taking a knee during the anthem. This is about something much bigger. If this information is true about Francis Scott Key and the Star Spangled Banner then a change needs to  be made. If people could eliminate the need to spread hatred this world could be a whole lot better. It starts with what we are “taught.” Let’s stop making our history “fake news.” Let’s start seeing things for what they truly were and what they represent to our future. I will “no longer” advocate the value of the Star Spangled Banner until someone can show me that this information about it’s writer is untrue or falsified. I apologize to those who are patriotic in nature but my belief is that if I can die for my country, then my country should “not” support killing me or anyone like me for hater purposes. This is not a dis-love for my country, but for the song itself. If anyone disagrees with me, I would “absolutely love” to hear from you. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Jill Scott in concert with Brett Jolly on bass directly behind her

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Depression)

Have you ever felt down without any valid reason? Have you ever even felt suicidal? Depression is something that I believe hits us all at some points of our lives. However for some people, depression is an actual illness. I am not sure if there is an actual bonafide cure for it. Most people that I know of that have depression have problems coping with it. For me, the first thing is to “recognize” that someone has it. Once I do, my next step is to make sure that this person doesn’t manage to drag me down to his or her level. Most people who have depression cannot function without being on top. In other words, everything is fine as long as they are doing better than everyone else. In some instances, I have heard depressed people “make up” stuff just so that they won’t feel inferior. Counseling and medication are the most common remedies to help. You may actually “know” of someone who is dealing with depression but not even realize it. I have close friends who suffer from it, and whenever they get into some big “negativity thing” I often let them know that they only have 60 to get themselves right, otherwise I am leaving (or hanging up the phone). Of course, I, myself have felt depressed occasionally. Whenever I feel myself getting that way, I will take a walk. Walking helps to clear my head (and it is also good for the body). As long as you can “recognize depression” then it should be easier to deal with. Just “think” of someone you know who seems to “never be happy.” Chances are great that this person might be dealing with depression. If you feel that you do have it, then seek help (and go to bed early just so you can get the day over with). We all have our moments. Try to make the most out of yours. Thanks for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Dionne Warwick in concert with Brett Jolly playing bass in background

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Tonight I perform at Kelsey’s in Atlantic City. Here is a clip from last week)

If you happen to be in the Atlantic City, New Jersey tonight, please feel invited to come see my group (The Brett Jolly Experience) perform at Kelsey’s (1545 Pacific Avenue) at 7:30. We were there last week and we did this number. This is a song by Teddy Pendergrass (I went on tour with Teddy for 6 years). I am singing lead on this song. I hope you enjoy this song. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.