Why is it that most people who know they need change in their lives are so afraid to initiate it? The other day I talked to a female who had a boyfriend who didn’t support any of her life objectives, didn’t want her to be more successful than him and often said and did things to sabotage her chances of moving forward with her career. He constantly accused her of cheating on him, called her nasty names and blatantly disrespected her. “Everyone” who is familiar with this situation “knows” that this man is no good for her, but yet she still accepts him after all his misdeeds. When I talked to her she told me that this man treats her so bad, so I asked her why didn’t she just “leave” him. She responded by simply saying, “I don’t know.” I told her that sometimes the biggest changes don’t come from what you add to your life, but rather from what you “subtract.” I personally saw the texts that this man was sending her accusing her of infidelity. He called her a lot of nasty names and sounded very much like he was abusing her verbally. She said she can’t leave him because he knows where she lives and she would never be able to escape him. She also told me that she had a previous relationship with a guy who stalked her constantly and also mistreated her. This man would change his Facebook identity all the time so that he could spy on her and even send friend requests to her friends anonymously. At that point I began to realize that no matter how many men mistreat her, the only way to save her is to “change” her. You see, a man can only get away with what a woman “allows” him to get away with, and if she has the means to leave this man but never accepts it, then how much blame is attributed to him and how much to her? This is where “change” comes in. Sometimes in order to instill change in your mate, you have to instill change in yourself. Men “will” respect you when you “respect yourself.” You should never consider yourself “powerless.” Often a man will accuse the woman of cheating to hide the fact that he himself is cheating, but as long as he can keep you on the defensive you won’t have the time or opportunity to figure that out for yourself. Yes, some people are afraid of change, but one way or another, change is “inevitable.” Never be afraid to take the opportunity to direct your life in a much more positive direction. “Change” can work “for” you, but only if you give it the opportunity to do so… Take care, and I hope you have a fantastic day today.
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Patti Labelle and Brett Jolly at an outside concert at Art Museum