One of the things that I feel comfortable with is assessing my “own” faults and bad habits. I realize that at times I can have “biting sarcasm” and when someone approaches me in an accusatory manner then I will debate him or her like the “fiercest of warriors.” I also know that there are times when I can be an awful procrastinator. For example, I should have already checked out my options for “healthcare,” but because we are now arriving to the deadline I once again waited until the very last second to get hooked up. I, of all people, should know better. I am fully aware that as you “get older” your health is going to deteriorate. If you don’t get older then chances are that means you are “already dead” and should be “too late” for any health insurance. I spent most of this weekend buying a new car when I should have been concentrating on insurance. I admit that I don’t know a lot about the particulars and when I make this call today there is “guaranteed” to be some information they will ask me that I won’t know or remember, but it is imperative that I see this through. Most of my life I have always been lucky and blessed. I “rarely” got sick and hardly ever spent an “extensive” amount of time recovering in a hospital. Just the mere “thought” of it scares me into wanting to “exercise” more. Of course, no amount of exercise will keep you alive forever, and even though doctors try to tell you how to live your life, THEY die just like the rest of us. I need to stop putting off until tomorrow what I can do today, so I will make a concerted effort to tackle this issue. For those who are “even worse” than me in procrastination, I hope you find the resolve to get your health insurance in check as well. You “never know” when illness will befall you and it is always best to be safe than sorry. I also realize that this may take up a lot of time today but “isn’t your health worth it?” Some people are trying to get universal healthcare abolished, but these are the people who are “already” covered. Their views should never impede me from taking advantage of this opportunity to get “covered.” Today should be a very busy one for me, and if you are not covered, I only hope that you will be “just as busy” as me. No, I am not trying to tell you how to “run” your life, but I am trying to tell you of a way to “preserve” it. Have a great and blessed day.
Jean Carne and Brett Jolly in concert
People have asked me to repost one of my music videos. I plan to do a “lot” more this sumer (so if anyone feels he or she is video worthy and has something to offer and would like to be in one, please contact me soon). This particular song and video is “self explanatory” and is simply entitled “Broke.” I am sure that “several” people will be able to relate to this:) Thank you again for checking out my song (I wrote, and performed all instruments and vocals in this tune) and I hope you have a great weekend.
Dear Mr. Jolly. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and everything is good. However, he likes to play basketball with his friends and I think that he needs to give the silly game up. He often gets hurt playing and it takes away from time that could be spent with me. He says that it is a “man thing” and that he loves the sport, but at this stage of his life shouldn’t he be loving me more? Am I supposed to just sit around waiting for him to come home all the time while he is working himself up? He tells me that I am commanding a lot of attention but I am his wife, so I am supposed to command his attention. I feel he needs to start winding this basketball thing down so that he and I can do more things together. I feel that I am worth it. We are not going to be young forever so why should he waste his time on such a silly activity? I would love to know what you feel about this. Thank you.
Men (uh, “young” men) usually have this energy that needs to be burned off. While spending the day with you might work out great for you, it sounds like he needs this activity to keep him grounded. I can actually understand where he is coming from. I used to wake up at 6:00 am each morning just to go out and play basketball, and I would be there all day until my mother had to literally come to the court in the evening and bring me home. For me, basketball was my release… It sounds as though this might be the same case with your husband. When I was on the court, I was doing what I loved and it kept me from getting into trouble with gangs and other things. If you try to stifle your husband’s physical release of basketball you may find that he just might compensate for that loss by engaging in some “other” activity that you might not like. Right now, you know where he is most of the time, and you know what he is doing. You don’t have to worry about him cheating around town and if his temperament is good at home you can “probably” attribute that to the steam that he lets off with playing basketball. When I was younger, every time I felt “frustrated or stressed” I would take to the courts and take it out on the man who had to “guard” me. I think that activity helped to make me the relatively “calm” man that I am today (well, in MOST cases.. smile). Trust me when I say that your man will not be playing ball for ALL of his life. Be careful what you ask for, for you just might not “like it.” It is one thing for a wife to be encouraging. It is another for a wife to be controlling. I think it would be advisable to let your husband “be himself” and play ball. As long as he comes home to you and still loves you the way a good husband is supposed to then there should be nothing wrong with it. Of course, you can always go to the court with him and watch him play as well. Men love to show off for the women they love. Your presence just might make him “play better.” Think carefully before trying to make him give up the very game that he loves. If your relationship is going strong you just might have “basketball” to thank for that. Thank you for submitting a topic and I wish you the very best today.
Recording artist “Dwele” and Brett Jolly in concert
Yesterday I had a very busy day. I had to perform for an afternoon event in Washington, DC but before leaving out my family and I got up around 7:00 am to go visit the grave site of my mother, Rowena A. Jolly. Yesterday was her birthday, and even though she passed away on December 14 of 2004 we still honor her day of birth. I had my father, brother, daughter, and son with me as we all said prayers and small speeches. I honor my mother not because I thought she was “perfect.” The truth is that she wasn’t perfect, and none of us are either. I honor her because even though she had imperfections, she actually conquered a “lot” of her demons during her life (as opposed to her demons conquering “her”). Mom smoked and she drank, and often there were times when she was a danger to us as well as herself, but Mom managed to “right” the wrongs in her life and conquered both addictions well before her death. I am mentioning her today because I realize that there are “some” people out there who will criticize, hate, and barely tolerate one or both of their parents. Rather than pass judgment, I prefer to attempt to “understand” the reasons as to why people are “what they are” and why they “do what they do.” For instance, a man could be brought to court because he attempted to rob a bank. In hearing this case on the surface, a lot of people will “already” say that “he is getting what he deserves” and “I hope he gets put UNDER the jail.” However, when you consider the fact that this man could have lost his parents at an early age, could have come from a broken home, or could have been heavily abused as a child then it “might” make you have more sympathy. I make no excuses for my mother, and I love her unconditionally. For me, it is never about where you come from, but rather where you are headed. We all joined hands and quietly sang “Happy birthday” at the tombstone, and then left to tackle the rest of our day. If you have a mother or father who is still on this earth, I hope you take a moment to “get to know” him or her, and if you have a “strained” relationship, maybe after your talk you can help to make amends by just simply listening and then saying “I understand…” Once a parent is gone, then there isn’t much making up that you can do. We ALL can change, but “only” if we are “willing” to look “beyond the surface…” Good luck to you today, and I wish you the very best that life has to offer…
Patti Labelle and Brett Jolly in concert
Mr. Jolly, what constitutes a stalker? There is this man who follows everything I do on Facebook, and every time he sees me with another man he always finds a way to “tell” them that he is either married to me, my boyfriend, or sometimes he will even go as far as to say that he “was” my boyfriend. If he can’t say it to them directly then he will just come close enough and say it loud enough so the man can hear him. When I told him to stop trying to talk to my male friends he says he is only doing it for fun, like a joke. He thinks it is funny but it isn’t. I called him a stalker because he comes to my job to watch me and he can always tell me about everyone I talk to (because he is always monitoring my activity). I am getting tired of him going up to every man that he feels is a threat (even though we are NOT a couple by ANY means). He is not harmful in any way, so I know I am safe. He doesn’t believe he is a stalker at all. Is he right or am I right?
A stalker is someone who tries to follow what you do, where you go, and monitors your activity. If this man is coming to your job to see you, and if this man wants to know everyplace you go, and then monitors all your activity on Facebook, then he “is” a stalker. This particular man obviously doesn’t want you to have a relationship with any male other than him, and that could be a problem down the road. You have the option of going to police and getting a restraining order against him. Some people cannot handle rejection well and usually those are the ones who “become” stalkers. As for your new male friends there shouldn’t be much of a problem, because even though he may try to convince them he is your man, they should know the truth by the fact that you are talking to “them” and not “him.” The question is not whether or not he is a stalker (because obviously he “is” one) but how you can get him to stop interfering in your interactions with others. If you don’t feel like getting the restraining order then you can “always” get some man to “pretend” to be your “new” boyfriend and have him step to him. Once the concept of “boyfriend” has been established in his mind then hopefully he will start to turn his aggressions in another direction. You might want to consider “blocking” him on Facebook as well. Some people govern their “whole lives” according to Facebook, and what they don’t seem to realize is that you can find out a “lot” about a person just from his or her Facebook page. If a stalker has your personal information then that makes it a lot easier for him to “stalk.” Block him and alert your job so that they can have security throw this man out whenever he comes around. Right now he might not be much of a problem, but if he is meddling in your social life then that is never a good thiing. Try one of the options I just mentioned. No woman (nor any man) needs to be stalked. Address this problem “now” before it “starts” to get worse. Good luck to you, and have a great day.
Singer Tyrese and Brett Jolly performing at the funeral of Teddy Pendergrass