Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: What if you hit the lottery?)

Today I went into a grocery store and noticed that the Mega Million Jackpot had reached $540 million dollars. My initial thought was “Wow, that’s a lot of money.” Then my mind started to wander (as it has been known to do from time to time). My next thought was “What would I do if I actually won that much money?” To some degree I think we all “ponder” these thoughts on occasion. I do know that there are people who at one point in their lives “had” millions of dollars only to squander it “all away.” Some entertainers, sports athletes, stock investors and more have lived up to “both extremes” when it came to money. How does one go from being a millionaire to being “broke?” After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that the very WORST thing you could do is brag to ALL your friends that you hit the lottery. The more people that know about it the more sob stories you should expect to hear from people wanting you to invest some of that money into them. Also, it would be very important to have a plan in place before you just “start spending.” If I ever hit the lottery I would make sure to pay off any and ALL bills before purchasing a thing (including money for the kid’s education). I would write all obligations down on paper with the dollar amounts to each one and then start “cutting checks.” After paying all the bills I would then turn my attention to “allowances.” I would probably give my closest friends “lump sums” that will help them. You see, you should never deprive your family (and closest friends) of money because that would just be downright selfish to do. For my family members, I would give each and everyone of them a certain “allowance” of money for each week (or each month). In fact, I would probably give “myself” an allowance as well. When people start dipping into bank accounts at will you would be surprised at how fast your money disappears (no matter how much money you have in there).  I would also like to engage in “smart investments” so that my money could generate more money. I have to mention the term “smart investments” because not all investments are “wise choices.” For instance, buying a vacation package in “Iran” right now is not a very smart investment. However, buying and renovating a property in a nice local area is. When it comes to buying things I would still need to shop carefully. There would be no use in purchasing a big mansion with so many rooms that you can’t frequent them all. I am normally a generous person, so once I had all my needs taken care of then I would probably help someone else out with the money. For instance, if I knew of a poor family who has an honor student in school, I would probably give them money to help them make it. I would also give to charities and invest in recreation centers for kids to have access to computers and special programs.  Hopefully one day I will get the opportunity to show what I can do with lottery winnings. For the record, I actually did play $5 on it. The truth of the matter is whether the sum is $540 million or a couple hundred dollars it is money that I would gladly welcome. Most people won’t play until it reaches a really big amount (as if to say that one million isn’t enough for them… Yeah.. “right!”). I say your chances of hitting are probably better playing when the amounts are smaller. Either way, I just hope that whoever wins the money is someone who “really” needs it. Whether you win or not, I hope you have a truly blessed day, and here is the Phantom Poet to take us all through the weekend:


You sit down in front of your television and you wait anxiously up til the very last minute
You hold up your lottery tickets in hopes that tonight you might “win it.”
You hold your breath, you cross your fingers, you hold up your lucky rabbit’s foot
When it comes to hoping out for miracles, all your faith in it you put
You know that your numbers are going to hit. In fact, there is no doubt
And then you scream for joy when your numbers actually do come out
You’re rich, you’re rich. You are so happy that you jump up in the air
But you start to realize that something is wrong because suddenly you “levitate” there
You cry, you pout, you holler out, and then you start to wheeze and choke
You “wake up” from your dream to discover your ass is still “broke”
“Broke broke broke, broke broke broke.” That’s all you seem to know
In the meantime the lottery was hit by some country bumpkin in Idaho
You lost out yet again, you’re poor, and now some comfort you set out to seek
But no matter how you feel, you are destined to still play your numbers again next week
You continue to play every day, because when it comes to luck you are believin’
And by the time you “finally” hit, with all the money you spent you are now “even”
Because even though you won a great deal of money, you tend to ignore this simple fact
You didn’t really make any profit… In fact, you only won your money… “back”…

“I won 20 grand, but I spent 21 grand to do it”… The Phantom Poet

 

Brett and Bill Jolly performing an outside concert by the river in Philadelphia

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Getting sex elsewhere)

Dear Brett,

 

 

 

Subject: wanting to go elsewhere for sex

 

 

 

I’ve been married for a very, very long time. She is the love of my life and my best friend. Even through tough times we’ve always come through with flying colors. We have three children. One is grown and gone, a teenager and a toddler. My problem is the lack of sex in our life. Either she is always too tired, or the famous “I have a headache”. I’ll love her forever – that will never change – but I need more from her. Would it be cheating if I just paid for sex from someone with no obligations?

 

 

 

“Yes, it would.” Any extramarital sex (with a member other than your spouse) would be considered cheating. You do have a problem, but it is possible that you can address it through counseling or going to a medical doctor. It is sometimes common for spouses to lose that feeling of intimacy after years of marriage. For her it might be a physical or mental condition that might not take a lot to diagnose and remedy. You need to communicate with her and let her know that you love her and that you will do whatever you can to make her happy. You can ask her if there is anything that she might want YOU to do to help get her back in the mood. Open dialogue can sometimes make the difference between a content marriage and “sex filled euphoria”. Once you start paying for gratification you open yourself up to a lot more than what you bargained for. Try to fix the problem at home before you bring in new problems from a broad (uh, sorry… I meant to say “abroad”). And until you can get her to open up more maybe you should try to love her more “mentally” for now. It could be the very first step in reclaiming the magic back in your marriage. Also, you might want to try doing something “different” like sending a little card or even writing her a “personalized love song” (sorry, cheap plug here, but just email me at Brettjolly@aol.com for details or check out my site WWW.Brettjolly.com). Try different approaches, but be consistent in showing your love for her. Don’t settle for failure… MAKE it work…. And here is the Phantom Poet to take this concept way out of proportion:

 

 

 

I truly love my wife, and for me she is the only one

 

But it is getting real frustrating because I ain’t getting none

 

When it comes to getting intimate, she gets headaches or she tires

 

It’s only a matter of time before my “penis warranty” expires

 

I wish we could come up with a way to resolve this plight

 

Seems I keep getting attacked by my own organ every night

 

All it really takes is some tender loving care

 

To help relinquish all that tension down there

 

Especially during those moments when we have time to kill

 

You don’t have to do anything at all… In fact, just lay still

 

You’re my wife, and you’re supposed to be there when love beckons

 

And you KNOW this ain’t gonna last no more than thirty seconds

 

YOU are the woman I married so for my needs you are the one

 

For us it is a simple formula: “In… Out… Done!”

 

I’m not trying to upset you, and I certainly don’t want to cause flack

 

But baby, you should be tired of constantly getting poked in the back

 

Because we are not intimate much, I just do my best to contain, so

 

You need to understand that right now I’m a walking volcano

 

I’ve heard of saving energy, but we don’t need THIS type of conservation

 

You can provide in-house service or I’ll even accept an “oral” dissertation

 

It really doesn’t take much to keep me satisfied

 

And I really need the love that only you provide

 

So if you want me to remain faithful, you need to act like you know

 

Because soon you may hear stories about me and some crack hoe

 

I’d like for you, my wife, to give and for me, your husband, to get

 

So that I can remain a good husband whenever I want my needs met

 

 

 

From the “throbbing” files of the Phantom Poet

 

Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly in an outside concert

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Can women ask for “quickies?)

Mr. Jolly, I have a question that I would like to pose to you. I am in a relationship with a really nice guy but he has the type of job that will keep him on the go. The other day I was really needing him but I feel it is un-lady-like for a woman to ask a man for an intimate encounter. Needless to say, I did ask him and it was just what I needed. From a man’s perspective, is it proper for a woman to let her man know when she needs some extra TLC? Should a woman be able to ask for a “quickie?”

All men are different (just like all women are different) but for me I personally see NO reason at all why a woman can’t ask her man to make a quick “home delivery.” We ALL have needs and you can rest assured when he needs some from you he will have NO problems asking, begging or even implying.  I do understand that morally a woman who has to ask for sex just doesn’t feel right, but this is a whole new era we live in. Women are entitled to get their needs met just like men are. Because of the recession we are in everyone has to hustle just to make a good living. Sometimes that can mean working longer hours and more tired evenings for most couples. Couples should never advocate for “quickies” but “every once in a while” if that is all the time slot you have (and you both don’t mind) then I see nothing wrong with it at all. “Quickies” can accomplish a lot. They can help de-stress you. They can make you feel happier and they can even help you sleep better. Your man has a responsibility to make a living (and so do you if you are employed), but if you are ever in need then there is nothing wrong with asking him to make a “pit stop.” He might even appreciate the fact that you feel comfortable enough to ask him. Of course, you should not have a totally “quickie filled” relationship. In all relationships there should be “some” degree of “substance.” However, in between those special moments it is perfectly “permissible” to “get one in.” Honesty will go a long way. Don’t be afraid to express how you feel. Here is that “man of many excuses” to deliver the last word on this subject, the Phantom Poet”

I had a really tough time at work and for me it was a very hard day
Now I want to relax because I’m feeling a certain type of way
I am feeling “backed up” and I am about to bang my head against the wall
I think I would like to call my man to see if we can arrange a “booty call”
I know he is busy tonight but I’d like to see if he can “spare a minute”
All I need is a little bit of extra time for him to “get in it”
He said that he misses me and has a lot to deal with today
But he said that this might work and he is only a couple of blocks away
He told me that he loves me and for 10 minutes we need to prepare
I made short work of him, got satisfied, and still have 4 minutes to spare
I felt bad that he couldn’t stay with me and I hated to see him have to go
But I feel rejuvenated and more relaxed, and that’s what I know
It was fantastic, marvelous and I thought it was really sweet
I sent him back on the road walking slowly and dragging his feet
Hey, a woman has got to have it, and there is nothing wrong with opening doors
Today I really needed some and got mine, so I only hope that you got yours
Yes, we  will still have our greater moments of loving, and this was just a booty call
But considering the fact that I was in need, I don’t feel bad about asking at all
So when it comes to busy schedules, sometimes things can get a little tricky
That’s when you realize that there is nothing wrong with getting a little “quickie”

“No need to turn off your car”… The Phantom Poet

 

Bonnie Raitt and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: My gig with Teddy Pendergrass)

Yesterday I forgot to  make mention that it was the official birthday of my former boss and great vocalist, Teddy Pendergrass. For those of you who are not familiar, Teddy had a slew of hits songs as a member of Harold Melvin’s Bluenotes and as a solo artist. He sang lead on songs such as “If you don’t know me by now, The love I lost, Wake up everybody, Bad Luck, Close the Door, Turn out the Lights, Do me and Get up, get down, get funky get loose.” He was riding a wave of popularity when in 1982 he crashed his car on Lincoln Drive here in Philadelphia and was paralyzed. For 19 years he stopped touring and singing until he finally decided it was time to come back out again. I was with him on his tour and even though I was reluctant to do so at first it was probably one of the best musical decisions I made in my life. At first, Teddy had his  group together and he had someone else playing bass for him, but one day he was scheduled to do a concert in Mobile, Alabama and 2 days before the show his bass player had to pull out. They contacted me for an emergency rehearsal and brought me into the studio to see how fast I could possibly learn his tunes. When I got there, I ran his whole show down perfectly, and Teddy came up to me to talk personally. He said “Man, you came in here cold and played my show perfectly. That was amazing and I would like to know if you would like be a part of join my band.” This was around the time of “911” and I was really leery about touring or traveling anywhere by plane, but I told him that I would do it.  From that point on I became an official member of Teddy’s entourage and it was so much fun. We all laughed together and had a ball onstage. One day I was walking through the airport with my guitar in hand and some ladies asked me who I was. I told them that I played for Teddy Pendergrass and they seemed to be a little skeptical. I was having trouble convincing them that I really did play for Teddy when Teddy himself saw what I was doing. He came up from behind us and blurted out “Man, I can’t take you anywhere. Are you getting into trouble again?” The girl’s jaws dropped to the ground. They couldn’t believe it, but there was Teddy messing with me. He told me later on that he figured he would “help me out” by coming through. That was the kind of fun we had. Then there was the gig we had in Vegas. We played at Mandalay Bay and this place was so funky that it actually had a “man made beach” in the back of it (this was rare, especially for a place located in the middle of the desert). The gig went great, but while we were at the airport ready to return home, Teddy told us that it was time to get on the plane. I decided to take one last turn at the slot machines before leaving and I “hit” for a couple of hundred dollars. Teddy then said, “Well, I guess I won’t have to pay you now.” I looked at him and said “I am from Philly just like you are. You already KNOW what we do when it comes to our money.” We both had a good laugh… and a good time. There were also the serious moments, like the time when our flight was delayed in Detroit for about 2 hours. Teddy and I were talking and I discovered a couple of things about him that most people didn’t know. First, he claimed that he was a “loner” and that he didn’t keep a lot of friends around him purposely. He didn’t mind at all staying to himself because he didn’t want to put his trust out like that again. He also said that he didn’t like to listen to radio anymore and he didn’t even like to hear his own songs played. Hearing them reminded himself of what he used to be, and he knew that he could never get back to that. Of course, there were other great times like when we performed at Westbury onstage when my background microphone was taken by 2 “very well known” people. Ashford and Simpson decided to come onstage and sing background for Teddy, and I was more than proud to give up my mic up to them. That was a very special moment. Finally, we would sometimes have special names for the songs we did. For instance, the song “When somebody loves you back” automatically got a new name. We called it “When loving somebody from the back.” Needless to say, I really had a great time touring with Teddy, and in honor of his birthday I hope you don’t mind me sharing some of my stories with you today. Of course, the last involvement I had with him was when I played for his funeral. It was truly a sad moment but it brought out a lot of his highlights for his career and reintroduced his accomplishments again. He is truly missed and it was an honor to perform for him. There is a live DVD that we did in Los Angeles entitled “From Teddy with Love.” If you can find it, you will see me featured on it. Thank you for reading my Daily Thought today and allowing me to “reflect” on the life of a great vocalist, boss and friend. Please have a truly great and “jolly” day.

 

Teddy Pendergrass and Brett Jolly jamming onstage in LA for a live DVD

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Expensive Wedding)

Hi, Mr. Jolly

I am engaged to a beautiful woman that I love with all my heart. I would marry her right now if it were possible. Everything seems great except for one thing. She wants to have an expensive wedding. There is nothing wrong with her wanting that at all, but I just don’t have the money for that type of thing. The kind of wedding she wants could cost me thousands of dollars and I just can’t afford it. I don’t want to lose her. What can I do about this?

It is important for marriages to start out with honesty. If she thinks you have that type of money then she needs to know the truth going “into” your marriage. As a musician, I have played for MANY wedding receptions during my musical career, and I have seen some rather “extravagant” ones. I remember playing for one particular reception that featured clowns, jugglers, two bands, ice sculptures and a “hired” bridal party that consisted of women who were dressed like the ones in that old Robert Palmer video. It was crazy. There was so much stuff going on that there was hardly any room for people to move around. First you need to keep in mind that wedding receptions are really “not” for you as a “couple.” You don’t need to have a whole bunch of people witnessing your vows in order to “get married.” It can actually be done with just the 2 of you and a pastor. When you put out money for a lavish wedding you are doing so for the sake of the “other” people who will be in attendance, and that is where your expenses come in. You have to pay for food, entertainment, rent of the establishment and other small factors that combined could result in a “HEFTY” price tag.  You fiance wants your wedding to be special and there is nothing wrong with that, but it is important that as a couple you live within your means and you don’t START OUT in heavy debt. Many couples will divorce over financial problems and you shouldn’t want enter your life of matrimony with that same predicament. There are ways to get around some of these expenses. First, you can do like a lot of couples do, and have your wedding outside in a park type area. This way you won’t have to worry about the expensive cost of securing a venue. You may have to purchase some chairs for sitting out in the park, but that shouldn’t do too much damage to your wallet. The main cost you will incur is the cost of the “reception.” This is where all the partying, food and entertainment take place. The biggest misconception is that the wedding reception has to take place on the very same day as the wedding. You can always have it later if you choose to. As long as your relatives and friends can still eat great food and enjoy great entertainment they don’t care WHAT day you select for it. If you forgo the need for an immediate reception, you might be able to spend more of your money on a suitable vacation retreat for your honeymoon instead. I will bet that if you offered your wife a choice between a great reception or a great honeymoon spot, she would gladly choose the “latter.” If she still wants to have an expensive wedding after you discuss finances with her, then let her know that she will need to wait until this money is at least “saved up.” Weddings should be about “two people deciding to live forever as one.” When you focus more on this concept, then it should be easier to “keep costs down” when planning a beautiful wedding. If you would like to know more ways of having a great wedding without spending a fortune, consult a “wedding planner.” They have experience in just about “all” wedding issues and can help you enjoy a great event without having to stress over it. If your woman “thinks” you are rich then you should by “no means” mislead her. Let her know that you are “limited” financially BEFORE you make your wedding plans. If you lose her over your lack of money then obviously for her it was not about “love.” She needs to know the truth, and so do you. Talk to her immediately, and find out where the both of you “stand.” Remember, the purpose of marriage is to live “happily ever after” and not “heavily under debt.” As always, communication is “key.” Good luck to you, and I sincerely wish you the best, and take heed of this marvelous revelation from our good friend, the Phantom Poet:

My baby wants to get married in a mansion with great scenery and a lavish interior
For our wedding vows she wants to take them while skydiving in to Lake Superior
She wants to invite the mayor, the governor, the army and all that can make it
but baby doesn’t understand that this costs money, and my funds just can’t take it
She has tons of expensive ideas for our wedding but before my money is lost
I need to say, “Damn, baby, that’s nice, but what about the cost?
She says, “I’m worth it and I deserve to get married while still in my prime.
So if you want to marry me, then you’d better work a lot of overtime”
This statement took me for a loop and I now have a lot that I need to consider
If I don’t marry her it feels like she will offer her services to the highest bidder
She said, “Honey, I am worth it” and “Honey, this is no joke”
At that point I had to let her know that “Baby, HONEY is broke”
“In order to have this expensive a wedding, all my assets I would have to sell”
” If you want all this to happen, then maybe you need to get a job as well”
“If you are this expensive now, then maybe I need to get out before it’s too late”
“After all, as long as I have a good video and 5 fingers, I’ll always have a date”
It might not be the same as having a loving feminine touch
but I can get some satisfaction without it having to cost so much
My baby wants an expensive wedding and even though she has that right
I have the right to tell her I’m poor and I am leaving…. “Have a great night…”

“No woman, no cry”… The Phantom Poet

 

vintage shot of Gerald Levert and Christopher Williams at sound check with Brett Jolly (please forgive the shorts)

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Findings on Whitney Houston death)

The results are finally “in.” The L.A. coroner has “officially” confirmed that Whitney Houston’s cause of death was “accidental drowning.” On the “surface” this sounds like a terrible misfortune that could possible happen to “anyone.” However, when reading on the report notes that Ms. Houston had indeed used cocaine immediately before her death, leading to a “cardiac event.” If you are having a cardiac event while in the bathtub, accidental drowning is likely to occur. I do believe that most people wanted drugs to have “no part” in her untimely death. We all wanted her to be drug free and hoped that somehow she passed on “naturally.” We now need to come to the conclusion that she lived an addict… she died an addict… All the positive praise that was showered upon her after her passing was truly genuine and warranted, but a lot of it was based on the “belief” that she had finally “gotten her act together.” Now we have to accept the fact that she contributed to her own demise, much like Curt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Janis Jopln, Jimi Hendrix, Rick James and Michael Jackson. All of these legends might still be around today if they had been able to conquer their own drug demons. It is important to note that there are still questions around Whitney’s circumstances. If there was cocaine in her room, then someone must have removed it. Does this now mean that there should be “criminal charges” on the horizon for “removing evidence?’ Does the “coroner’s findings” now “close the book” on Whitney? It depends on your own interpretation. There were 2 sides of Whitney that the public got to see. There was the young, beautiful singer with a voice of gold that “lit” up the charts with her music and then there was the other woman who was a drug ridden, often inebriated, fraction of the woman she once was. As sad as this is to say, “both” of these women were “Whitney.” While it is admirable to focus on the “former” we should by “no means” forget the “latter.”  No matter what the coroner’s findings, I hope that her life is used as a “measuring stick” for the “next” upcoming musical sensation brought up in Whitney’s shadow. If we cannot learn from her life then to focus on it now would be “meaningless.” People need to know “both extremes” of Whitney Houston. There is another upcoming voice superstar out there somewhere who will need guidance to help make it. I only hope that those who take “him or her” under their wings develop her “musically” AND “responsibly.” A tragedy will always be a tragedy, but if we can somehow come up with a “positive” resulting from that tragedy then all doesn’t have to be in vane… “Life is what we make it.” “Thank you, Ms Whitney, for sharing your vocal talents with the world, and may you now “rest comfortably in God’s hands…

 

Johnny Gill, Brett Jolly and Bobby Brown

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Independent women”)

Why is it that men are so afraid of independent women? I make my own money, and I handle my own business, and yet when men find this out they seem to get intimidated. Do I have to fake like a helpless woman to keep a man?

No, but you may need to test different waters for men who can deal with a woman of your status. You are right, there are men out there who don’t know how to handle a woman that can fend for herself, but there are also men who have no problems with this at all. In fact, there are men out there who will gladly “welcome” your independence. It could be possible that you are engaging these men in the wrong circles. Independent men hang out in different places. You can probably find a lot of them at sports games (men love sports and they have to have some degree of wealth to afford those tickets). Also there are social functions that independent men commonly frequent that you should also consider attending. This is a new age and more women are working. If a man cannot handle a woman that he cannot control then you are better off “without” him. A lot of men love to be in the position where you need them for things. The only problem with this is that if he should ever decide to break off the relationship later then it leaves you with no one to depend on. It is highly recommended that a women be able to fend for herself these days. In fact, it might just help you hold on to a man. If a man knows that you don’t need him then he will think twice before trying to leave you. Most men egos have problems with “rejection.” Don’t go changing yourself to find a partner. The right man is out there who will gladly accept you just as you are. Be independent, be strong, but still continue to be the classy and elegant woman that you are… Good luck to you and please enjoy this lyrical disaster from the Phantom Poet:

When it comes to me, there is a lot of attention that men are now giving

But it all changes when they find out how much money I make for a living

I own a fancy car and a great house, but i live there all alone

Once men find out that I am independent, they run scared back home

I only want a man who will be nice and every once in a while console me

but I’ll be damned if I want a man that will only try to control me

If I offer to pay for dinner, then it is possible he will be gone

Maybe I should do like most men and expect sex later on

Hey, y’all men know what I’m talking about. You know what you do

If I pay for you, then I’m entitled to “expect” some too

but when a man sees that I am rich, he will run like a little boy

It’s a good thing I make enough money to afford a battery operated toy

They only need a few batteries and it gets my sex life on the right track

And the great thing about them is that they never ever “argue back”

With them I never have to worry about a man trying to make my life disrupt

And with my toy I never have to worry about the toilet seat being left up

Yes, men are intimidated by me, and that is why they never call

but with my battery operated toy I just might be better off… “after all”….

“Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” The Phantom Poet

 

Far away shot of Chaka Khan and Brett Jolly in concert (Brett off to the left with guitar)

 

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