Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Wife terrible with money)

Dear Mr. Jolly


Subject: Wife is terrible with money


I recently got married to a beautiful woman. She is sweet and I love her dearly. We have a problem, though. She spends our money without thinking, buying luxury items first that we really can’t afford and then afterwards we barely have enough to pay any of the important bills. When I try to talk to her about it she keeps saying “I don’t’ want to hear it” and starts holding her hands over her ears. She is not good with money at all. We will never get anywhere this way, and will probably be knee deep in debt soon. What can I do to get her on the right track?


Just ask the conductor which “track” is the right one for trains heading “out of town” and make sure she’s there for the “next available”… THAT would be the “right track” for her. In most marriages there is usually one member who can handle finances better than the other. It sounds as though YOU should be the one to take care of ALL monetary matters regarding the family. They have done studies on people just like your wife. She seems like one of those consumers who shops basically to relieve frustration, which means that she doesn’t shop out of necessity… The best way to teach her the value of money is to give her an ALLOWANCE. Give her a certain amount from each paycheck and let her know that once it is gone, it’s gone, and she can’t get any more until the very next paycheck comes in. If necessary, separate your money from hers by getting separate accounts (with separate names). When you spend your money, it is always best to pay the NECESSARY BILLS first (like rent and food necessities, car notes, etc.), and then work with the money you have left over for other things. If she is buying luxury items first when she gets paid then that is a sure recipe for disaster. The best way to escape from this mess is to take the power OUT of her hands…When you start handling the money, it will also be important to put a little money aside periodically for emergencies. I can guarantee there will be a time when you WILL need it, and you will be glad that you have it to use… Do NOT put her name on your account. Make sure that NO MATTER WHAT you don’t give her anymore than what she is supposed to have, because then you will only end up defeating your own purpose. Above all, let her know that you love her, and that you are only taking the necessary steps to ensure a lifetime of happiness with her. She will think that is sweet (at least until the next paycheck comes in)… Be firm, but loving, and make sure that YOU control the money. Here is the “broke and busted” version of love from the Phantom Poet:


I really love my wife, and she is such a great woman


But we got phone calls from collection agencies commin’


When the first of the month is here, our rent is always due


She will take our money and buy a furniture set or two


When I try to talk to her about it, she always screams and hollers


I send her to 711 for a newspaper… She spends forty-two dollars


She asks me if she can borrow some money to get her finances on track


But every time she borrows it, she NEVER pays me back


We have a problem here, and one that needs a quick solution


I think we need to find a better way of payment distribution


I need to put my foot down…I don’t want to seem like a wimp


If things don’t straighten up soon, I may have to moonlight as her pimp


So to keep our financial matters from going from bad to worse


When honey is in the ladies room, I go hide her purse


I destroy all her credit cards, and then I keep on steppin’


I went to register her bank account downtown as a “lethal weapon”


When it comes to spending limits, for her there is no dimension


When it comes to budgeting money, she can’t even pay attention


Our situation is so bad that we also need some government bailin’


Just yesterday honey went and bought some expensive glasses like Sarah Palin


They cost WAY too much money, and that is a matter of fact,


“Until that woman becomes President, you need to take that sh%* BACK!”


So if YOU have a wife who really doesn’t know how to spend


Put her on the right “track” and wait for that train to come back again


Hopefully after she returns she will have learned her lesson


And then hopefully your financial woes will no longer have you “stressin’”


Pattie Labelle and Brett Jolly in an outside concert (Art Museum of Philadelphia)







Another “Bailout” moment from the Phantom Poet




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