Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Getting sex elsewhere)

Dear Brett,




Subject: wanting to go elsewhere for sex




I’ve been married for a very, very long time. She is the love of my life and my best friend. Even through tough times we’ve always come through with flying colors. We have three children. One is grown and gone, a teenager and a toddler. My problem is the lack of sex in our life. Either she is always too tired, or the famous “I have a headache”. I’ll love her forever – that will never change – but I need more from her. Would it be cheating if I just paid for sex from someone with no obligations?




“Yes, it would.” Any extramarital sex (with a member other than your spouse) would be considered cheating. You do have a problem, but it is possible that you can address it through counseling or going to a medical doctor. It is sometimes common for spouses to lose that feeling of intimacy after years of marriage. For her it might be a physical or mental condition that might not take a lot to diagnose and remedy. You need to communicate with her and let her know that you love her and that you will do whatever you can to make her happy. You can ask her if there is anything that she might want YOU to do to help get her back in the mood. Open dialogue can sometimes make the difference between a content marriage and “sex filled euphoria”. Once you start paying for gratification you open yourself up to a lot more than what you bargained for. Try to fix the problem at home before you bring in new problems from a broad (uh, sorry… I meant to say “abroad”). And until you can get her to open up more maybe you should try to love her more “mentally” for now. It could be the very first step in reclaiming the magic back in your marriage. Also, you might want to try doing something “different” like sending a little card or even writing her a “personalized love song” (sorry, cheap plug here, but just email me at for details or check out my site Try different approaches, but be consistent in showing your love for her. Don’t settle for failure… MAKE it work…. And here is the Phantom Poet to take this concept way out of proportion:




I truly love my wife, and for me she is the only one


But it is getting real frustrating because I ain’t getting none


When it comes to getting intimate, she gets headaches or she tires


It’s only a matter of time before my “penis warranty” expires


I wish we could come up with a way to resolve this plight


Seems I keep getting attacked by my own organ every night


All it really takes is some tender loving care


To help relinquish all that tension down there


Especially during those moments when we have time to kill


You don’t have to do anything at all… In fact, just lay still


You’re my wife, and you’re supposed to be there when love beckons


And you KNOW this ain’t gonna last no more than thirty seconds


YOU are the woman I married so for my needs you are the one


For us it is a simple formula: “In… Out… Done!”


I’m not trying to upset you, and I certainly don’t want to cause flack


But baby, you should be tired of constantly getting poked in the back


Because we are not intimate much, I just do my best to contain, so


You need to understand that right now I’m a walking volcano


I’ve heard of saving energy, but we don’t need THIS type of conservation


You can provide in-house service or I’ll even accept an “oral” dissertation


It really doesn’t take much to keep me satisfied


And I really need the love that only you provide


So if you want me to remain faithful, you need to act like you know


Because soon you may hear stories about me and some crack hoe


I’d like for you, my wife, to give and for me, your husband, to get


So that I can remain a good husband whenever I want my needs met




From the “throbbing” files of the Phantom Poet


Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly in an outside concert