I just heard about Robin Thicke’s marital woes. His wife, Paula Patton, says that the pair has separated, but she actually “wants” a divorce from him. Sources are saying that it all started when Thicke performed for the VMA’s and Miley Cyrus decided to back hump him with a simulated sex act during his set. It was reported that the act was totally impromptu and that Thicke played along and also simulated having sex back with her. It had been reported that later he and his wife had a big altercation with her claiming that he embarrassed her to the world when he did that. The truth of the matter is that social lives and music stardom are not normally a good mix. It takes a LOT of trust and understanding to make it work. Yes, Robin Thicke didn’t “have” to go along with Miley’s wildness, but to turn her away on public television would have looked really bad (as if she didn’t look bad enough already). In this business, things are going to happen. If you are a star then chances are someone will either proposition you, attack you or back grind you like Miley did. I remember when I was performing in Vegas a couple of years back. We were performing at Mandalay Bay and while I had my bass some woman grabbed onto my arm. I looked down at her and I said, “Baby, honest… you REALLY have to let go of my arm.” She hung on and had absolutely NO intentions of letting go. Security came up to me as if they were unsure of how to handle this situation. They asked me “Is everything okay?” I told them that I “think” they are going to need to “pry” this woman off of me. Well, they did “exactly that.” She tried to take as much of my skin as she could off me. She hung onto me for dear life. I just wanted to make sure that particular life “wasn’t going to be mine.” In Thicke’s case, it was also reported that there was a picture of him with his arm extended and his hand on some woman’s butt. The tough part about it was they his had was squarely there and he was even “digging in.” THAT was excessive and he didn’t have to go to that extent. If any of you have ever seen Jeffrey Osborne in concert, he would usually kiss a couple of women on each show. Years ago I was part of Jeffrey’s tour (I was with Jean Carne at the time and we were opening up for him on the road). Anyway, his wife was “always” backstage, so I asked her how she felt about all this “kissing” that Jeffrey was doing. She replied to me by saying “This is a business and I realize that I have to share him with his fans to some degree.” We have an understanding and I KNOW who he is going to be with after each show, so I can surely sacrifice a couple of kisses for his career and our well being. In the end, he still comes back to “ME.” I thought that was very admirable. Yes, in the music biz crazy things happen, and it takes a strong couple to understand and still have faith. Robin Thicke’s problem is that stardom got to him, and if he plans on keeping his wife, then they need to establish their own understanding. I am sure Thicke’s video (“Blurred Lines”) with all these topless women prancing around didn’t help matters much either. To be a star, you have to sometimes “go over the edge.” That doesn’t meant that you have to “live” that way. I am hoping that Thicke and his wife can reconcile all differences and that he can become a better man from this. It is one thing to “lead the life.” It is another to let the “life lead YOU.” Music and marriage are a tough mix, but with the right mind set it can be done. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Janet Jackson and Brett Jolly onstage
The true measure of a man is not in how he views himself, but rather in how “others” view him. Last night, I held my usual “Wednesday Night Grand Slam” Jam in Philadelphia. This is a weekly event where fellow musicians, singers and entertainers frequent to showcase their abilities onstage. My friend Chris Odom and I started this thing a year ago, and yesterday we celebrated our one year anniversary. The thing that made this event really special and personal to me was that it was also a celebration of my birthday (which actually wasn’t yesterday, but this Saturday, March 1). The amount of people that came through last night in support was beautiful, and the love that was shown was extremely encouraging. People were congratulating me on an event that they felt was just getting bigger and bigger. I host this event each Wednesday, and I have so much fun doing so. Each time we usually start off by doing our own set (as for tunes, we will often take requests and play just about anything….and yes, I do mean anything). We never do just one genre of music, but we will cover “any” type of song as long as it sounds great. We have covered artists from Steely Dan to Tom Jones to Parliament Funkedelic. Last night, however, was really special, because I had no idea how it was going to turn out or if people would even attend. As the show went on, I could barely venture 10 feet without someone grabbing me, hugging me and congratulating me on this wonderful thing. People came from different states to be there, and that made me feel extremely proud. I do realize that “today is a new day” and that yesterday is already “history” but I just had to express myself today, because when you receive love and support like this then it makes you feel like you just might be accomplishing something good. Time will tell just how big this event will get, but I would like to thank those who came out (in really cold weather) to be a part of our world. Chris Odom, the lead guitar player, could not make it out because he is in the hospital. He has been through a lot and still has a ways to go. My biggest regret is that he could not be there with us. If today’s Daily Thought sounds like a “self pat on the back” then I guess that is just how it should be labeled. Anyone can build himself up, but when others come out in support of you, then you must be doing something “magical.” Hopefully if anyone of you reading this today ventures to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, on a Wednesday night, you will come through to 7165 Germantown Avenue and party with us. I truly think you will “love” the experience. I got in real late, and I am tired. Have a great day.
The Emotions (“You got the best of my love) and Brett Jolly in concert
Mr. Jolly, I am a single mother who is dating. I am almost 40 years old and I have no children. I have accepted the fact that I may never get married, but I have a strong desire for children before I am too old. My girlfriends tell me that I should just tell one of my guy friends that I am using protection and let him impregnate me. I know that would be a lie, but at this point I don’t have money for expensive fertilization clinics. I am running out of time. If I tricked one of my guy friends would that really be such a bad thing? Especially if I was expecting “no” obligations from him whatsoever. He would not have to be in the child’s life at all. After getting pregnant I could move away and he would never even know. Most men wouldn’t want the responsibility of being fathers anyway, so if I let him off the hook he should be happy about that, right?
Not necessarily, and regardless of how you feel, that choice should belong to the father, and not you. A man may say that he is not ready to be a father, but a lot of times that can change, especially once the baby gets here. The same can be said for some women. They might say that they don’t need a father figure for the child but once all the bills start coming in (along with all the other things needed to raise a child) then many women end up “reconsidering” that one. It is tough for “two” parents to raise a child, so it is even tougher for a single parent to go it alone. Tricking a man into fatherhood is just not a good thing to do. Even though some Dads could care less there are those who “genuinely want to know” who their children are. If you decide to move away, then once that child is old enough he or she may venture out on his or her own to find the natural father anyway. Then once he is found there may be resentment towards you for keeping this a secret for so long. Once the father finds out that he has missed most of this child’s life he “should” be angry about it. I know I would be. If you want children, then you need to be truthful to your expected donor. He deserves to know. I do realize that at the age of 40 your opportunities are declining, but that doesn’t mean that you are done yet. It is “extremely” important to also find a father with the right “qualities” that you would want in your child. Do not just settle for “any” male. The most important part of this is that if you want to have a child naturally then your partner needs to know what your plans are. If he is a real man he would not want to be absent from the child’s life. Be truthful to yourself, and be truthful to him (whoever “he” may be). Kids deserve to know who their daddies are, and fathers deserve to know their kids. Don’t let you selfishness damper 2 lives. Thank you for this topic and I wish you the very best.
Gary US Bonds and Brett Jolly in concert