Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Balancing relationships)

The love of my life has children and aging parents. In addition, he is self-employed, which as you know requires a great deal of discipline, and/or time working in order to succeed. 

So that we can spend time together–I have suggested we share some of the times spent with his family. 

He, however, doesn’t comply. Does that mean he is not planning to make a future with me in it?

It is “possible,” but not entirely “probable.” If you have never met his family then that should be a warning sign. If you have never been over  his house then that should be another warning sign. However, the best way to find out what his plans are is to simply “ask” him. Granted, not all men tell the truth (okay, maybe NONE of them fom time to time) but you can still find out the answers you are seeking from what he says. A LOT depends on his circumstances and the “reasoning” behind why he does  not want you to take part in his family gatherings (assuning, of course, that he actually “DOESN’T want you to take part). I remember talking to a lady years ago who wanted to attend her boyfriend’s family reunion. He did not want her to attend but he finally gave in to her. Well, when she met his other family members she was “highly” embarrassed. The relatives were loud, rowdy, obnoxious and “none’ of his kids liked her. She couldn’t understand how her boyfriend could even “possibly” be related to these people. For her it was so disastrous that she wanted to leave immediately. Needless to say, she “got” what she asked for… I am not trying to say thats your man has the same situation going on, but I will say that the best way to find out his intentions is to get them from the ‘horse’s mouth.” Ask him why he doesn’t want you to spend time with his family, and see what he says. Ask him if he can envision a future with you. Ask him how he feels about you. A woman has a right to know where she stands in a relationship. However, I do not think you should base his future intentions for you “solely” on “family related issues.” There are way too many other factors that need consideration first. You do want to find out the answers though. Communication is always key in any relationship and when you start to make assumptions that is NOT communication. Take the time and effort to find out for yourself where you stand. It is better to “know going in” than to find out “going through.” Good luck to you and I hope you find the answers you seek. Take care and have a truly “Jolly” day.


From the gospel world, Baby Washington, Mabel Johns and Maxine Brown minister musically with Brett Jolly