Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Today is Memorial Day”)

Here is the United States many of us will celebrate Memorial Day. To my understanding, Memorial Day was established for honoring those servicemen and women who died in the line of combat. While that should be the central theme of this day many will honor it by celebrating while vacationing at the beach or having cookouts. I’m now sure if that is the proper way to acknowledge the loss of life but as long as people remember the concept then that is important. War has no winners. Maybe one day we all will be civilized enough to end all war and live peacefully. Until that day gets here we need to continue to have special days like today. Happy Memorial Day to all of you out there who understand the concept of what this day means. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.


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Dexter Wansel (far left with cap on) in concert with Brett Jolly on bass


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (” Is our family line responsible for our behavior?”)

Have you ever done something that made you wonder “why” you ever did it? Have you ever thought about what might have provoked other people to engage in behavior so abnormal that you never believed they would do it? Is there an explanation or a cause for why people deviate from normal behavior? Well, the only person that can be blamed for your own behavior is you… “right?” (After all, it is your fault… “or is it?”) When it comes to genetics, we all tend to inherit “physical traits” that can sometimes “skip” generations. In other words, you could have had a great great grandfather who could really sing, and yet no one else in your immediate family might be able to hold a note “but you.” Or you could have a far off ancestor with very light physical features and you could inherit those light features while the rest of your immediate family is dark skinned. Now imagine this scenario: If it is indeed truly possible to inherit physical attributes from your ancestors, then isn’t it quite possible that you could also inherit their “psychological” aspects as well? We all are a product of our environment, but we are also a product of our family line. If diabetes runs in the family it doesn’t mean that everyone will have it, but chances are increased that some “will” inherit it. The same might be said for racial hatred, jealousy, anger traits, passivity and sensitivity, to name a few. We like to hold others accountable for their own actions, but we all are “mixed” with generations of different family members with different character personalities. In other words, there are many people inside of us. That might seem like a dangerous thought at first, but can it be true? If you had a murderous criminal in your family line there is a slight possibility that you could inherit some of that wickedness in your own character. The “goodness in you” might be strong enough to overpower the evil personality, but everyone is different with different genes (and some genes are stronger than others). People with bad anger management might have gotten it from an ancestor who harbored a lot of hatred. If this is indeed true then when it comes to explaining behavior should there be a need to examine the family history? Maybe when starting a new relationship with someone, instead of Googling the person you should try Googling the family name. I would love to know if any studies have been conducted on this, but for now it just seems to make sense to me. You may not be who you think you are because in actuality you just might be who “they” are… Hopefully I didn’t confuse anyone today. I realize that this Daily Thought is different today but for some reason I just felt the need to ponder this thought. If you think I’m crazy today I won’t mind (smile). I will probably just blame my ancestors (smile). Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
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Famous producer and songwriter Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Government Shut Down)

I honestly didn’t think I would be writing about this particular topic this morning, but dysfunction of this level just “cannot” be ignored. The United States government actually “shut down” last night, and the reason for it should be a red flag to a LOT of people. Certain members of congress are “still” trying to find ways to amend the “Affordable Care Act” which was deemed “constitutional” by the Supreme Court,  already voted into law by President Barack Obama and most importantly, “voted” into acceptance by the American people with the last Presidential elections. To even “try” to “again” fight a battle that has “already been lost” and then be willing to shut down the government over it is “staggering” to me. Some of the arguments I have heard over “Obamacare” (the nickname that has been associated with this act) have also been mind boggling. Of course, the shutdown right now doesn’t have too much of a bite to the economy, but the longer this goes on the more peril we will face. Maybe it’s just “me,” but I cannot POSSIBLY see how “ANY” elected official would even be “willing” to choose terminating 800,000 government jobs over  a bill that has “already” been voted into law. I wish there was a way that I could pass a bill that would make it mandatory for THEIR jobs to be cut during a shutdown. Maybe then they could “better feel” the “significance” of their actions. Plus there are MANY other people who cannot get affordable health care who will now be able to have it. Someone please tell me what can possibly be wrong with THAT? When government officials say that they are acting in your best interest (even after it has already been proven through elections that this is not true) then we need to know about these people. Each and every member of congress who voted for the shutdown needs to have his name posted, promoted and “remembered” during the next election time. I say this because I don’t want to support ANY candidate who will choose “party allegiance” over the welfare of those who elected them to office. Since Obama has been in office, these people have been devoted to making his life miserable. If Obama introduced a bill that claims “Water is wet” then chances are this group of officials would most likely “UNANIMOUSLY” reject it. To me, that is “sad” politics. Please keep in mind there are some in this party who will actually go against the tide or party unity, and those people I applaud. Governor Christy is a prime example. Love him or hate him, he goes with his heart, and NOT his party. This needs to be a lessen for all. The economy is making progress over the devastation that happened to it over 8 years ago. The fact that President Obama has so many “haters” proves one important fact to me: These people are not worried over him “failing.” They are more worried over him “succeeding.” An “accomplished” President is a “threat” to their political ambitions, and judging from their recent actions, this is what “scares them.” They can only continue to do this if we “allow them to.” We elected them into office and we can “undo” that action as well. If you approve of the members who voted to shut down the government, then you should be happy with today’s turn of events. However, if you believe that the shutdown was immature, childish, and totally unnecessary, then I strongly suggest you “remember” those officials who voted for it. Right now there are 800,000 people who are about to get furloughed over some “personal agenda” that is being fought “way too late.” Chances are that some of them may even have voted for the ones who voted to end their employment. This madness will only get worse if we ALL don’t vote to “rectify it” soon…  My name is Brett Jolly, and I approve this message… Have a great day….

Musical artist Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly onstage


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: drunken boyfriend)

Subject: Drunken boyfriend

My boyfriend and I finally broke up. He is a wonderful person when he is sober and I really love him so much and I still do. But, his drinking habits were out of control. He would hide a six pack under the bed and then disappear in the streets until 2:00am. Once, he crashed the car and almost killed himself and wanted me to lie to the cops and say the car was stolen and someone else took it for a joy ride. The last straw was when he stayed out all night and lost his leather coat and the car and house keys. He was banging on the door for me to let him in. I kicked him out for good and now he is living with his sister. I cry a lot because I did love him. Do you think I did the right thing by getting rid of him? I never drank in my life so I couldn’t have sympathy for him. He said that I wasn’t being fair because he paid bills and was nice to me except for the bad things I described above. He makes me feel really bad. What do you think? Please help me. He wants to get back together, but, I don’t think he will ever change.  Signed. Lonely Heart                                                                              

I have a close personal connection to your story, so I can actually relate to your situation all TOO well. When my brother and I were much younger, our mother became an alcoholic. She would drive us around to baseball and basketball games and almost killed us several times with car accidents. We were very young and not sure of how to handle it. My father had a high profile job and traveled extensively across the country, so he wasn’t home very much. My brother and I would hide her liquor bottles but she would just go out and buy more. One day we got the shock of our lives. We came home from school and we found her in bed with blood everywhere. She had gotten so drunk that she decided to shoot herself. Luckily she was still alive, so we rushed her to the hospital where she recuperated fully. After that incident, my father had her placed in A.A. (Alcoholics Anonymous). She did the full term there and she never touched another ounce again up to the day she died. I am telling you this story because alcoholism is a disease. Your boyfriend may have done some VERY nice things for you, but if he doesn’t love you enough to quit the alcohol then you will NEVER be more than “second” best to him. I suggest you put the emphasis on HIM…. If he truly wants you back, then tell him you will gladly consider it IF (and ONLY if) he completes an Alcohol Anonymous Program (and I do mean COMPLETE). You have been more than fair with him, because he could easily have gotten drunk enough to kill himself or you. If he doesn’t know where to go to sign up, contact me and I will find out the  AA program in his area for him. As for you, don’t feel bad for locking him out. You really didn’t lock “him” out….just his demons… and as long as he continues to hold on to those demons he will always be a risk to himself and you. If you give him this ultimatum, then he will have no one else but himself to blame for losing you. It’s just that simple. No matter how bad he makes you feel, you should NOT accept him until he completes the program in its ENTIRETY. If he doesn’t go the distance, then that means he has let you down as well as himself. Don’t feel sorry for a choice that HE makes. The best way to help him is to make him help himself. I can PROMISE you that if he completes the program and gets cured he will thank you in the long run for helping him to become a better person… In the meantime, here is a Phantom Poet moment to help you with your lonely heart:

Baby, there’s nothing wrong with me needing some drinks

I can control myself but “Wow, something stinks!”

Did I do that? After only five glasses, that can’t be true

Since I know I can control my drinking then it must have been YOU

As a matter of fact, I can hold my liquor better than MOST men

And I can prove it to you…. Now, what was your name again?

Oh! That’s right! You’re my girl! You’re my honey! You’re my “boo!”

So how come I’m now seeing THREE of you?

It can’t be the alcohol, so it must be my vision

I’m going to drink to the THREE of you… There! I’ve made my decision…

I will NEVER stop drinking…and that’s all I’m gonna say

“Wow!” I swear it looks like THREE baseball bats are now headed my way

I ducked the other two, but one of them managed to get me

I may be a little tipsy, but honey, “Did you just hit me?”

I can’t believe you just did that, but I’ll tell you what

I’d like to get you back, but both my eyes are swollen shut

I am NOT intoxicated, and I will never be some poor drunk ass

Let’s drink to my recovery… “Honey, can you help me find my glass?”

Now I’m seeing MANY bats. They are beating me in ALL ways

I may need another drink…after I recover….in a few days….

Sometimes “Love Hangover” and “Love TKO” can be the same thing

                                       The Phantom Poet


Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly in concert


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Getting sex elsewhere)

Dear Brett,




Subject: wanting to go elsewhere for sex




I’ve been married for a very, very long time. She is the love of my life and my best friend. Even through tough times we’ve always come through with flying colors. We have three children. One is grown and gone, a teenager and a toddler. My problem is the lack of sex in our life. Either she is always too tired, or the famous “I have a headache”. I’ll love her forever – that will never change – but I need more from her. Would it be cheating if I just paid for sex from someone with no obligations?




“Yes, it would.” Any extramarital sex (with a member other than your spouse) would be considered cheating. You do have a problem, but it is possible that you can address it through counseling or going to a medical doctor. It is sometimes common for spouses to lose that feeling of intimacy after years of marriage. For her it might be a physical or mental condition that might not take a lot to diagnose and remedy. You need to communicate with her and let her know that you love her and that you will do whatever you can to make her happy. You can ask her if there is anything that she might want YOU to do to help get her back in the mood. Open dialogue can sometimes make the difference between a content marriage and “sex filled euphoria”. Once you start paying for gratification you open yourself up to a lot more than what you bargained for. Try to fix the problem at home before you bring in new problems from a broad (uh, sorry… I meant to say “abroad”). And until you can get her to open up more maybe you should try to love her more “mentally” for now. It could be the very first step in reclaiming the magic back in your marriage. Also, you might want to try doing something “different” like sending a little card or even writing her a “personalized love song” (sorry, cheap plug here, but just email me at for details or check out my site Try different approaches, but be consistent in showing your love for her. Don’t settle for failure… MAKE it work…. And here is the Phantom Poet to take this concept way out of proportion:




I truly love my wife, and for me she is the only one


But it is getting real frustrating because I ain’t getting none


When it comes to getting intimate, she gets headaches or she tires


It’s only a matter of time before my “penis warranty” expires


I wish we could come up with a way to resolve this plight


Seems I keep getting attacked by my own organ every night


All it really takes is some tender loving care


To help relinquish all that tension down there


Especially during those moments when we have time to kill


You don’t have to do anything at all… In fact, just lay still


You’re my wife, and you’re supposed to be there when love beckons


And you KNOW this ain’t gonna last no more than thirty seconds


YOU are the woman I married so for my needs you are the one


For us it is a simple formula: “In… Out… Done!”


I’m not trying to upset you, and I certainly don’t want to cause flack


But baby, you should be tired of constantly getting poked in the back


Because we are not intimate much, I just do my best to contain, so


You need to understand that right now I’m a walking volcano


I’ve heard of saving energy, but we don’t need THIS type of conservation


You can provide in-house service or I’ll even accept an “oral” dissertation


It really doesn’t take much to keep me satisfied


And I really need the love that only you provide


So if you want me to remain faithful, you need to act like you know


Because soon you may hear stories about me and some crack hoe


I’d like for you, my wife, to give and for me, your husband, to get


So that I can remain a good husband whenever I want my needs met




From the “throbbing” files of the Phantom Poet


Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly in an outside concert