Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Alienated Children)

Subject: Alienated children
 
I’ve been divorced for 5 years. My ex-wife has alienated my family to the point where they want nothing to do with her. I only deal with my ex-wife as necessary. The problem is that my family has left my children out in the cold. They don’t include my kids because they don’t want to deal with her. I moved closer to my children to be more a part of their lives.  My family is livid because they don’t want my ex to be part of my family gatherings we may have to my new place. They think if the kids are over my house she might try to include herself.
 
Your family needs to stop “acting” like “children”. It is unfair to alienate the children just because of their mother’s “issues.” These children are a part of your blood family, and should be accepted as such. I do have a question, though. If your ex-wife has alienated your family then why would they even EXPECT her to show up at ANY family functions over your house? Last time I checked “alienate” meant “to separate from”.  Does your ex-wife still show up for your family functions? If so, then you need to let her know that you can’t HAVE your cake and eat it, too (especially if you are serving cake at these functions… I like the little yellow cake with chocolate icing) (smile). You have EVERY right to want to be with your kids, and the rest of your family needs to know that you and your children are inseparable. In other words, if they don’t want to include your children, then they shouldn’t expect to include you as well… Most times children become innocent victims when it comes to adult matters, and your situation is a prime example. YOU are going to have to take a stand on this; otherwise your children could end up suffering as a result. You need to assure your family that the ex-wife is indeed in fact the “EX” wife, and that she will NOT be a participant in your family functions. If at that point they still insist on alienating your children, then I suggest you consider yourself “alienated” from them as well. It’s a shame, but you owe a responsibility to your kids to be there for them, even when no one else wants to… Here is an “ex” –citing publication form the Phantom Poet:
 
 
5 years ago, my marriage hit the “skids”
My wife is now gone but I still have my kids
During family functions when I prepare turkey and stuffing
I’ll ask for support from my family, and usually get nothing
They want nothing at all to do with my former wife
So they prefer not to get involved my child’s life
So now I am “through” with my family, and that is my motto
Especially now that I hit the million dollar lotto
So for the relatives, I want you to know that I am now one rich gent
And as for any of my money, you will not get one red cent
You disrespected my kids, just because of their mom
Now we got money, and we’re about to drop the bomb
Always remember that blood is thicker than water
And “change” is thicker than dollar bills when it comes to my son and daughter
So if you exclude my kids, then you are excluding me too
And in my will, all the money goes to my children, and none to you
Even though I am not one to rub things in, or even provoke
When the kids ask me about you, I’ll tell them you snubbed them, and you’re broke
So now don’t expect to come by or even call
Because things have a way or working themselves out… after all…
 
                                               From the “powerballs” of the Phantom Poet

WWW.Love-notes.co

Johnny Gil, Brett Jolly and Bobby Brown

Image

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Husband’s gay friend)

Subject: My husband’s gay friend

My husband and I have about the most normal relationship a married couple can have. There is a gay man at his job. I don’t approve of his lifestyle. I don’t want this man in my house. But my husband invited him over with the guys one day. This person talked about his relationships in front of my children and I think it was inappropriate. After a heated argument my husband says I’m wrong in demanding that he not be allowed in our home just because he’s gay. It’s not the point he’s gay. It’s his conversation that he has while my children are present. Do you think I’m wrong?

The key to your answer is actually in the words you state. You said “I don’t want this man in my house.” The one thing you DIDN’T say was “I don’t want this man talking about his relationships in front of the children.”  Do you see the difference? Yes, the conversation was inappropriate, but instead of asking your husband’s friend to curb his behavior, your solution was to ban him entirely from the house. You didn’t even want to offer him a “chance” to correct his mistakes. You have also said that you don’t approve of his lifestyle, which can be taken as fuel for someone proclaiming you to be prejudiced. Even though the Bible speaks against homosexuality it is not LEGALLY a crime for anyone to be gay. You may not want to expose your children to it, but if your kids attend school, then they ARE going to come across gay students at some point. You should really take the time to know your husband’s friend before you judge him. You may find that he is a really decent man who just “happens” to be gay. The gay population is growing in numbers, and a lot more of them are now coming “out of the closet”. In some areas, they even have events such as “Gay Awareness Day” and “Gay festivals and parades”. We ALL have some form or prejudice, but some are better at suppressing their feelings than others. It may be time for you to confront those issues and get a better understanding of what it means for them to be gay. I am not telling you to embrace the gay lifestyle, but rather gain some insight as to why they are the way they are. I have played for several gay weddings and functions, where I have seen members of the same sex kissing and even fondling each other. While I don’t necessarily support such activity, I respect their right to be who (and what) they are. Your husband obviously sees things differently than you do, but it couldn’t hurt to at least take a “look” at the world through his “glasses” from time to time. It might be the best remedy yet for “opening your eyes”… Here is an eye-opening sermon from the Phantom Poet:

My husband invites his friend over, and he just happens to be gay
I don’t think he should be allowed in my house on this, or any day
I don’t think my children should be subjected to his warped conversations
About his different lifestyle and his same sex relations
I don’t want to see him here anymore, and that is what I have said
My husband said, “No problem, I’ll invite a pimp over instead”
And maybe the pimp can bring his ho’s so we can have an orgy today
I guess it won’t matter much to you, just as long as he ain’t gay
Or maybe I’ll invite my other friend who just happens to deal crack
As long as he isn’t gay, then I guess there shouldn’t be any flack
So if my gay friend wants to come over again, he will forever be denied
So can I now invite my other friend over, who was in jail for homicide?
By the way, my gay friend forgot to talk about his new lover
Because in case you didn’t know it, it just happens to be your “brother”
Who knows what OTHER surprises there may be in store?
So does that now mean your BROTHER isn’t allowed here any more?
So if you feel this way about gays, then don’t be so downtrodden
I have a friend who came back from the dead…Honey, meet Osama bin Laden
He may have done some bad things, but homosexuality isn’t one
And he may do a couple more things before this visit is done
But at least you don’t have to worry about him being gay
While he’s here, the house may get bombed, so I guess we’d better pray
So please be careful what you say about gay people, before you start a brawl
So now that you’ve met my OTHER friends, I guess gays aren’t so bad… after all

From the “Straight and Narrow” of the Phantom Poet

Taken from WWW.Love-notes.co

(Dedicated to the emotional needs of women)

The Soul Survivors (Singing their classic hit “Expressway to your heart”) and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Hurting thoughts)

Subject: Hurting comments

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and I love him very much. But he says things about my looks that hurt. He says I look like I’m a kid and I’m a grown woman, so I shouldn’t wear my costume jewelry because it makes me look young. When I got my hair cut short, he said I look like a little boy. He tells me to wear a certain type of clothing, not to wear as much makeup (I hardly wear any), or to workout as my butt is too big. I already take good care of myself and I am an attractive woman. He always apologizes when I confront him, but he still brings these issues up over and over. What should I do to help him realize how much it hurts me?

 

Leave him, or at least “threaten” to leave him. If he truly loves you, then he will do his BEST to stop it from happening, and in the process probably get his act together. It’s amazing that he can say all of these negative things about you now and yet I’ll wager it was your looks that originally attracted him to you in the first place. He probably thinks that he can tell you all sorts of negative things because to him there are “too many fish in the sea”. Well, I got news for you: There are also “too many fishermen”… If he cannot treat you with the dignity and respect that you deserve then YOU are the one who deserves better. As your boyfriend, he might be able to say anything he wants to depress you, but he can only “succeed” if “you allow” it. If you love the way you look, then he can either get with the program or eventually find you under “new” management (You can even hang a sign over your head if you like). It is more important to love yourself than it is for other people to love you, because you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life (as for him, can he spell “curb?”). I can tell you right now I know PLENTY of men out there who absolutely ADORE a HUGE butt (The kind where she sits down and the whole SEAT COVER disappears). Some men will SWEAR by a huge butt. A huge butt is a national icon. It’s GREAT! It can make the economy more PROSPEROUS. It can make old men leap 10 feet in the air (okay, maybe I’m getting a little carried away with this) but I think you have the concept. There are plenty who like shorthaired women as well, and costume jewelry won’t even make a difference to a lot of men. By the way, just how “close” to Tom Cruise does this guy look? Uh huh…I thought so… People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Unless this guy is perfect, then you can always do better than him, and it may be time for you to start realizing that. Whenever he refers to your butt, he is only making an ASS of himself. Don’t EVER let him make you feel like you are not woman enough. I GUARANTEE there is a new man out there who would LOVE to handle your, um… “assets”. If your man doesn’t start treating you right, then let him get one LAST look at your huge butt… as you walk right out of his life… Here is a great life statement from the Phantom Poet:

 

My boyfriend says lots of mean things to me

The comments are as hurtful as they can be

He insults my hair and my behind

How can one man be so unkind?

I never complain to him about his funky smelling feet

And my butt looks just fine to the construction workers down the street

My butt looks great to the pizza deliveryman, too

And to the policeman who checks me out and says “How do you do?”

When I walk down the street with my tight jeans and blouse

I hear your friends refer to me as a 50 yarder (the best “seat” in the house)

So if you think my butt is too big, well, it just might get bigger

Because everyone ELSE seems to just LOVE my figure

From everyone I get all kinds of compliments and stuff

By the way, did I ever tell you your penis wasn’t big enough?

And no one is raving about the shape of YOUR behind

And sometimes I think YOUR breasts are bigger than mine

Yes, I will still love you, still do, even though

You were much more appealing “30 pounds” ago

Good men are always going, and good men are always comin’

I can find another man tomorrow, but can you get another woman?

So if you don’t like the way I look anymore

Then get to stepping, and hit the door

When you start to look like Denzel, then you can come back again

But there ain’t no guarantee I won’t have a new man by then

You’ll never find another like me, even after looking near and far

Because I am who I am…and you are who you are

I can get a new man, or I can just do without

“Make sure the doorknob doesn’t hit you… in the ass on the way out!

 

Yet ANOTHER incredible masterpiece… from the Phantom Poet

Taken from WWW.Love-notes.co

(Dedicated to the emotional needs of women)

Stevie Wonder and Brett Jolly

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Reputation)

Subject: My reputation

I have two kids. I just came out of a long relationship. I had a one-night stand with the brother of one of my old friends. I don’t see them often, but now that I live closer I have been visiting more. I am scared to see him again and of what he may think. I am not sure if I should tell my friend — because I feel so bad about the situation. It was just a crazy night! I know he thinks I am a slut and my friend would think the same if she found out. Should I tell her and get it over with?

When you say that you just came out of a long relationship, and then say that you had a one-night stand, I sincerely hope you are referring to two “SEPARATE” events here. If not, then they are REALLY going to talk about you. So now you are contemplating telling your friend and getting it over with. For you, what would be the purpose for doing so? Will doing so give you peace of mind? Will it make your friendship any better? I have learned that people will think whatever and however they want when it comes to your personal life. You can live your life in accordance with trying to satisfy them or just say “I no longer care”.  Unless you feel a strong desire to cleanse your soul to her then there is no real need to mention anything. You also should not feel so apprehensive about meeting her brother again either. Since he had a one-night stand with you too, wouldn’t people categorize him as  a slut as well? We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we have to broadcast our life stories to people who are going to talk about us anyway. You cannot change your past, so you need to accept that fact and go on with your life. If these people want to judge you, then so slut?…sorry, I meant “so what?” ( bad typo there) We are all human. You really don’t need to prove yourself to ANYONE “other” than yourself… If she happens to find out everything on her own, then unless she is perfect she still has no right to judge YOUR life. Our past should always be “our past”. When you drag it around with you everywhere you go, then your past becomes your “present”. Let it go… and move on…Hey, let’s now move on to the Phantom Poet:

I came out of a long lasting relationship, and had a one night stand
With my best friend’s brother, so do I deserve a reprimand?
I really don’t want for anyone to think I’m some kind of slut
Just because I wear my jeans off my behind, and my cleavage is low cut
So I might have made a mistake… It really wasn’t all that bad
Come to think of it, the affair with your brother wasn’t the ONLY one I had
I was just lonely, and I needed someone, so I did a search
And I think I might have…uh… had a fling… with the pastor of your church
And should you want to introduce me to the rest of your family, including your father
I think I already “know” the good man…uh…so why bother?
I realize I may have a small reputation, but it is only something “light”
By the way, if this is your boyfriend, well, he WASN’T the OTHER night
But don’t worry; I always keep condoms hidden in my glove compartment
They came in real handy the other day when I visited the fire department
Most of the officers there already know my residence
And when it comes to their DNA, I have already collected “evidence”
So please don’t think that I am fast, wild or even loose
I am actually VERY selective about all the men I choose
I am NOT very frivolous, and love is more than just a game
For each man I sleep with I need to at LEAST know his first name
I got a bad reputation for causing some trouble
Ever since I emerged from the middle of the football team huddle
How I managed to get there is well beyond me
And where my clothes went, I just couldn’t see
But when it comes to men, I ALWAYS demand respect
But if they won’t give it…then oh, what the heck!
I guess I am just a woman who considers myself to be a “giver”
And by the way… your mailman really KNOWS how to deliver

“Is there such a thing as a “classy” slut?… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, please feel free to email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

Brett Jolly and Verdine White (Bassist for Earth, Wind and Fire)

 

 

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Are all women cold-hearted?)

I’m in jail because of a mistake I made. My longtime girlfriend has left me. I didn’t expect her to give up her life while I’m in jail, but I’d like her to at least be my friend. Now she just dropped me. I’m not the only guy in here going through this. Are all women cold-hearted when they can’t have life their way?

The first thing you need to realize is that your girlfriend didn’t do this to you. Unfortunately, you did this to yourself… If you still expect her to be your woman then you should have represented yourself accordingly and stayed out of trouble. I’ve got news for you: EVERYONE who is in jail is there because of a mistake he or she made… The easiest thing to do is blame someone else for your own inadequacies, but the fact of the matter is that your woman didn’t leave YOU. YOU left HER through your improper actions.  If she cared about you then I’m sure she didn’t ASK you to go out and commit a crime. I’m willing to wager you undertook that task from your OWN initiative… A woman wants a man who can represent her in a positive manner, which means that you owed it to yourself as well as her to provide for her when she needed you most (physically, spiritually and otherwise). What do you think you can do for her from prison? I realize that you may feel as though you have hit rock bottom now, and I don’t want to make you feel even worse, but at some point you need to take responsibility for your own actions. I am not without compassion. I am sorry that you lost her. Since you now have time to think about it, you need to ponder this: Your woman probably loves you more than you realize, but the reason she dropped you is because when a woman loves a man it is difficult to watch his life disintegrate in the same manner as yours did. For women that type of pain usually runs deep. She probably wanted the best for you (as most women want for their men) and in her eyes you probably let her down. That doesn’t make her cold-hearted at all. That just makes her “hurt”… For all the other inmates in your facility who feel the same way as you, they need to realize that being a man involves responsibility. If they cannot step up to the plate properly then they shouldn’t expect their world to stay “intact” for them. I am sure that you (and the other inmates) are really good brothers that just made a “mistake”, but please don’t compound it by blaming it on your women. Depending on your sentence, you may still have time left to make something out of your life. If you can no longer show her, then show yourself what you are capable of. It will make a difference to someone, even if that “someone” ends up being only “you”… Here is a good Phantom Poet moment to help you ease your time:

My woman just dropped me like it’s hot
That’s due to the jail time that I just got
It’s all because of some money I stole
Which I hope to recover once I make parole
If she would just wait for me, then she’ll be rich too
Think of all the great fun we’ll have in the year 2032
Oh, by then it might be too late?
Well, if I get paroled early enough, we can still celebrate
Just take your wheelchair and point it towards mine
If I can still remember what to do, then we’ll be just fine
Until then, I still have time to serve
And these prison guards are getting on my nerve
I know she has to live her life, but she could still be my friend
So why does our friendship have to come to an end?
She stopped writing letters back to me, and stopped returning my calls
Now the only thing I have left to look at are these four walls
She said she wanted more out of life, and I know I heard her
But oh! That’s right! I forgot. She’s now locked up for murder!
She will be locked up longer than me, so now when it comes to my wealth
When I get out, I won’t have to share it with anyone…I can keep it all… to myself…
Well, if she doesn’t want me anymore, I am no longer worried
Because I’ll be extremely rich…uh…if I can just remember…where it’s buried…(?)

Will Geritol still be on the market by the tine I get out? The Phantom Poet

Taken from WWW.Love-notes.co

(Dedicated to the emotional needs of women)

The Intruders (“I’ll always love my Momma”) and Brett Jolly in concert

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: 20 year drought)

Subject: 20-year drought
 
I have been married for 35 years in a faithful marriage. But I am very unhappy because my wife’s complaints about previous mistakes I committed continually hounds me. The incidents involve smoking & alcohol. I am recovered and haven’t had a drink in years. She constantly brings the subjects up. She has not had sex with me in almost 20 years and won’t go to counseling. I feel like I’m trapped since I’ve been married to her for so many years. I don’t think I would know how to survive alone. Any suggestions?
 
20 years? After 20 whole years of no sex a certain part of my anatomy and me would be fighting with each other right about now. I would probably end up wrestling with it, because after 20 years it would probably grow teeth, limbs and tentacles (and probably growl to boot). That is a ridiculously long time to be married without any sex. Your drought is actually longer than the history of the I-pod.  I got news for you: Your wife is using your past as an excuse. I’ll bet there is some OTHER reason why she doesn’t want to have sex with you. If what you did was THAT bad then she would have (and “should” have) divorced you long ago. Now that you have fully recovered there should no longer be any reason for her to live in the past. You say that your marriage is faithful, but I have my doubts about this one from HER perspective. Women have needs too, and after 20 years of “no” intimacy her loins should be sounding like “Alien”. When people don’t want to go to counseling, it usually means that they have something to hide (or something to fear). Your wife’s refusal to seek help after you have cleaned yourself up means that she doesn’t WANT to make your marriage work. When people start behaving that way, you may need to look into her extra activities. Hey, women can mess around on men, too… As your wife, she took a legal oath to live as one with you, through sickness and hell… (uh, health)… Unless you committed murder or physical abuse, there is NO way a wife should hold a grudge against you for 20 years (and “still” stay “married” to you). You deserve happiness, but right now you really need to put your foot down. After 20 years your testicles should be the biggest, most backed up and swollen things on the planet. They should be declared ANCIENT RELICS by now.  You do, however, need the “balls” to tell her off, and let her know that you have changed for the better, so she should either “forgive” you or “roll” (That’s kid slang for “leave”). She was wrong for withholding from you for 20 years, but you are also wrong for “allowing” it to happen. Should you decide to wait another 20 years I guarantee your thing will separate from you and walk off on it’s own. Before that happens, you need to put your foot down to your wife…In fact, put all THREE of them down. Let’s check out what the Phantom Poet is putting down for today:
 
My wife keeps complaining to me about my drunken past
It has been over 20 years since we had sex last
We still live together in a very nice home
But whenever I want some I have to hold my own
I have cleaned up my act, and my past I let loose
But she still uses my past of drinking as her excuse
After 20 celibate years I am backed up as hell
Each night I am with her I start to swell
What I did was wrong…which we both now know
But you need to either forgive me, or your butt needs to GO
If you no longer want me, then leave, but this house is still mine
And once you are gone, I’ll find me the biggest “crack ho” I can find
If she charges by the hour, I’ll still save money, I reckon
Because after 20 long years I ain’t gonna last more than a second
It felt great after 20 years to finally be relieved
As for you, make sure that all your belongings are retrieved
I will always love you, but there’s no need to say much more
I have a LOT of lost time that I have to make up for
So if you want to be stingy with your love, then withhold it for life
At this point, I may want to make this “crack ho” my new wife
She won’t care about my past, because hers is most likely worse
But she won’t deny me, either, as long as I keep money in her purse
So good luck to you, and I hope you find new love so true
I may not have a classy woman, but at least my life and my “balls” will no longer…. be blue…
 
When in doubt, throw him or her “out”… The Phantom Poet

WWW.Love-notes.co

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Aurora Colorado shootings)

Today we would like to vary from our positions on love and romance and focus instead on the national tragedy that just occurred in the Century 16 movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado. To date 12 people were killed and 58 injured while attending a midnight screening of “The Dark Knight.” James E. Holmes was taken into custody after the attack after he allegedly “opened fire” on the audience. So far it appears that this assault had been planned for months with Holmes ordering ammunition online. The suspect even went so far as to “booby-trap” his apartment for anyone who dared to enter. Since this incident there has been a lot of speculation about whether the movie itself was the motivating factor behind his rampage. Considering the fact that the suspect had planned this for months and the movie had not been out yet I don’t think we can give much credibility to that theory. However, the one thing I keep listening for is still the one thing that I am “not” hearing. When you have terrible incidents like the shooting at West Virginia Tech, Columbine and this particular incident, why isn’t “anyone” willing to discuss “stricter” gun control laws? How can a deranged individual even “gain access” to deadly weapons without some kind of screening process, background check or psychological evaluation? How many more “innocent people” have to die before we begin to realize that “guns alone don’t kill anyone without someone behind them?” We can always try to evaluate the mental condition of this perpetrator “after the fact” but the truth is that he needed help “before” he engaged in this activity. Many political leaders refuse to acknowledge that it is “way too easy” to obtain firearms, and yet they look for “other means” to control this random violence. I do know that a “sick individual” cannot shoot a gun that he “doesn’t have.” I understand the “firearms” industry is a business and they don’t want to be “hampered” by legislation when it comes to making a living. Lives are at stake and “someone” needs to take a stand “somewhere.” Enough is enough… We need to regulate the industry before the industry “regulates us.” I apologize for not posting a topic on romance today, but I felt this needed to be said. Let’s all say prayers for the families of the victims and do whatever we can to ensure no more senseless acts of violence. Have a great and blessed day.

Radio DJ Tom Joyner, members of Full Force and Brett Jolly onstage