Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Alienated Children)

Subject: Alienated children
 
I’ve been divorced for 5 years. My ex-wife has alienated my family to the point where they want nothing to do with her. I only deal with my ex-wife as necessary. The problem is that my family has left my children out in the cold. They don’t include my kids because they don’t want to deal with her. I moved closer to my children to be more a part of their lives.  My family is livid because they don’t want my ex to be part of my family gatherings we may have to my new place. They think if the kids are over my house she might try to include herself.
 
Your family needs to stop “acting” like “children”. It is unfair to alienate the children just because of their mother’s “issues.” These children are a part of your blood family, and should be accepted as such. I do have a question, though. If your ex-wife has alienated your family then why would they even EXPECT her to show up at ANY family functions over your house? Last time I checked “alienate” meant “to separate from”.  Does your ex-wife still show up for your family functions? If so, then you need to let her know that you can’t HAVE your cake and eat it, too (especially if you are serving cake at these functions… I like the little yellow cake with chocolate icing) (smile). You have EVERY right to want to be with your kids, and the rest of your family needs to know that you and your children are inseparable. In other words, if they don’t want to include your children, then they shouldn’t expect to include you as well… Most times children become innocent victims when it comes to adult matters, and your situation is a prime example. YOU are going to have to take a stand on this; otherwise your children could end up suffering as a result. You need to assure your family that the ex-wife is indeed in fact the “EX” wife, and that she will NOT be a participant in your family functions. If at that point they still insist on alienating your children, then I suggest you consider yourself “alienated” from them as well. It’s a shame, but you owe a responsibility to your kids to be there for them, even when no one else wants to… Here is an “ex” –citing publication form the Phantom Poet:
 
 
5 years ago, my marriage hit the “skids”
My wife is now gone but I still have my kids
During family functions when I prepare turkey and stuffing
I’ll ask for support from my family, and usually get nothing
They want nothing at all to do with my former wife
So they prefer not to get involved my child’s life
So now I am “through” with my family, and that is my motto
Especially now that I hit the million dollar lotto
So for the relatives, I want you to know that I am now one rich gent
And as for any of my money, you will not get one red cent
You disrespected my kids, just because of their mom
Now we got money, and we’re about to drop the bomb
Always remember that blood is thicker than water
And “change” is thicker than dollar bills when it comes to my son and daughter
So if you exclude my kids, then you are excluding me too
And in my will, all the money goes to my children, and none to you
Even though I am not one to rub things in, or even provoke
When the kids ask me about you, I’ll tell them you snubbed them, and you’re broke
So now don’t expect to come by or even call
Because things have a way or working themselves out… after all…
 
                                               From the “powerballs” of the Phantom Poet

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Johnny Gil, Brett Jolly and Bobby Brown

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Waiting for marriage and kids)

Subject: Waiting for marriage and kids
 
I am 19 and my boyfriend is 28. We have been together for 3 years and are completely happy together. The only problem is he doesn’t ever want to get married or have kids–ever. I have never pushed the issue, and I don’t plan on marriage or kids for a while. But I do in the future. Am I wasting my time going with someone who doesn’t want the same things as I do in the end?
 
For some reason it feels like there is something a “tad bit” wrong with this equation. Please allow me to sharpen my math skills for a brief second here. If you have been together for 3 years, then that means he was 25 when you first got together and you were 16. That should have been a “no-no” (Can you spell  “jail bait?” Please let’s not forget “Statutory”… “Give me an ”S”…Give me a “T”…). Putting this aside, you might be wasting your time even contemplating marriage with this guy at the young age you currently are mainly because you still have a lot of life ahead of you (and possibly a lot of life partners)…plus he still has plenty of time left to screw up your relationship anyway.  It is quite possible that in five more years you may not even want him anymore. Since he obviously likes teenage girls you may be deemed “over the hill” to him once you reach 21. Communication is important in any relationship (even if it is with a child molester). Keep in mind that he doesn’t want kids because he already HAS one… “YOU”.  The fact that he is against marriage at this stage of his life could be a red flag for you, but that is so far down the road that it might be a moot point anyway. If he persists in his desire to have no kids then you have more than enough time to make a change down the road (and you may want to weigh your options heavily at that point). There will be some significant changes happening for both of you as you progress through your relationship together. You may want to get through some of those changes first before contemplating anything with this man. You have the right to want kids and marriage, but you should wait until the time is right to make this an issue. Most important, don’t rush your young life away. You are still growing (and hopefully maturing) and this issue is way too premature for you to even worry about at this stage of your life. Even the Phantom Poet has something to say on this one:
 
 
I am contemplating marriage and kids, but not much else
But my man says “No”, probably because I’m still a kid myself
I am only nineteen, but old enough to know better
So why does he still refer to me as a bed wetter?
When I was still in high school, this man took me in
And now the police want to take him back out again
They said that he belonged in a certain category
He’s a child molester and they got him for “statutory”
“Please don’t lock him up, he is the man I want to marry.
And he is also the man whose baby I want to carry”
He took me at a very young age when we first had sex
But now that he is going to jail, all I can say is… “Next!”
I guess plans for marriage and a baby is over…or is it?
Maybe I can get pregnant after they grant me a conjugal visit
I will still wait for you after one decade and an extra year
In the meantime, I think I’ll move in with your best friend over here
They got you for statutory rape, and I don’t think it can even be contested
Please make sure that while you are in prison YOU don’t get molested
Your best friend and I will live our lives together for you, because we really care
You need to concentrate on making sure you are still “tight” back there
They may put you in a cell with some huge 6’5 man who likes you
Let’s just hope for your sake that his crime wasn’t “statutory”, too
If it was, then he’s “yours”, and you’re “his”… “Oh, well”.
You may no longer like women when you get out of that cell
Your best friend and I will live happily ever after, and all will be fine
Especially since he confessed to me that he’s had a crush, ever since I was nine
 
Yet ANOTHER masterful piece from the Phantom Poet

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If you have a topic that you would like to feature for the Daily Thought, please email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

The Soul Survivors and Brett Jolly performing “Expressway to your heart”

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic” A son out of Control)

Dear Brett,

Subject: A son out of control

 

I am a single parent of a teenage son. He was once a respectful, hardworking young man, until he met his girlfriend. Now he lies, cuts class, chews tobacco, refuses to do homework and he has become aggressive. There are indents on my walls from him punching them. He is over 6ft and more than 200 lbs. I had him drug tested and he came out clean. His father is active in his life and has had discussions with him. I am scared to be in my own house because he is the only man around here. His father and I have discussed sending him to a juvenile boot camp, but he’s not really a bad kid. I’ve tried restrictions but none of them have worked. I’m at my wits end about what to do. I can’t in my heart put him out….                                                                                                     

 

                                                                                                                            

 

At this point, your love for him might do him more harm than good. You need to see your son for what he is, and not what you want him to be… If your son can disrespect you like that, then he can also disrespect others in the same manner, and eventually cause (or end up in) a lot of trouble. Respect for authority starts at home, and at this point he doesn’t have any… You said that he is not really a bad kid. If that is the case then I guess there is no real problem, right? Wrong!  Your son is now headed in the wrong direction, and the earlier you stop him, the better. Did you ever consider talking to his girlfriend? Since she is the one who changed him she may also have the power to change him back (not that you should expect it to work for I’m sure she has issues too). When most kids grow up at some early point they tend to think they are grown before their time. This girl obviously influenced him in a negative way, and the more it goes on the bigger the chance that you will lose your son. Hopefully it isn’t too late. If he no longer cares about rules and authority then he will eventually end up with one of two possible fates. You had better hope that he gets jail time as opposed to the OTHER fate. I do agree that putting him out is an extreme option, but not one that I would rule out (Sometimes all it takes is just the “fear” of knowing that you will throw him out to change him). As a last resort (in other words, when all else fails) he needs to see what “rock bottom” is like. “Rock bottom” is when you are at your “lowest” point, and I think that being homeless would certainly classify. Before you get to that point, though, I would talk to police and see if they could send a big muscular officer to the house to “talk” to your son. If an officer can talk to him about what his future is going to be and even take him down to the house of incarceration to show him then that might make a difference in his attitude. I have been to jail before (No, I was not arrested for any crime….I actually played a gig there) and I have seen how bad the conditions are there. It is not pretty at all, and downright scary. Your son needs to see that environment for himself so that he can experience what happens to those people who “don’t” respect authority. Truth be told, this kid REALLY needs some BIG man (someone much bigger than him) to step up to him and give him a “no holds barred, hold back the night, helter skelter, house quake, end of the road, mother of all ass whuppin’s” (but I am not supposed to promote violence, so you didn’t hear me say that). If you have someone take him out to the woods and deliver this monumental “sermon” to him, he will not only respect his mother, but his grandmother, her mother before her, her mother’s manicurist, the pet dog, that bug in the corner and just about everything else under the sun worthy of praise. Sometimes a drastic love calls for drastic measures. He needs to see another side of “somebody”… If it can’t be you then hire someone, but by all means you need to save your son… Here is a great saved poem from the Phantom Poet:

 

 

 

My son found a new girlfriend and now he is out of control

 

I am thinking about bringing in a preacher to exorcise his soul

 

He no longer listens, and he no longer gives respect

 

I need some strong man to threaten to break his fool neck

 

My son is a good kid, but this girl has led him astray

 

I also need some strong woman to come whip HER ass today

 

They both need to be taught a lesson… that much is surely true

 

Come to think of it, I need someone to whip HER MOM’s butt too

 

If she had raised her right then maybe she can “reach her”

 

Now that I think of it, I’d like to have someone come beat up her teacher

 

If the teacher had done her job, then respect she would have had

 

While we’re at it, send me someone to beat down her dad

 

He is also at fault for not doing everything he can

 

I also  need to beat  my son’s father  for not being a man

 

EVERYONE needs an ass whupping…It’s the LEAST we should do

 

and now that I think of it, I failed also, so I need an ass whuppin’ too

 

 

 

                              Why don’t we all just line up over here”… The Phantom Poet

 

Olivia Newton John, Brett Jolly and her musical director Any Sky

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Dear Brett,

 

 

Subject: Can’t have kids

 

 

I can’t have children for medical reasons. I’ve spoken to numerous doctors who all agree I can’t conceive. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four months and he often talks about wanting to have kids one day. Should I tell him that it won’t happen with me? I’m scared he’ll break up with me.

 

 

I fully understand your desire to want to keep him, but it would be wrong to keep him under false pretenses. He deserves to know about your situation, and he deserves the opportunity to work out a viable solution with you. If he stops loving you because of this then he was not the right man for you in the first place and you need to accept that. Also you need to know that just because doctor’s say you can’t conceive doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t have children. There is a source “much higher” than them that always has the last say on “miracles.”  It might be wise to have a consultation with one of those Invitro fertilization clinics to discuss options. I have heard that some of those places have performed miraculous tasks. Of course a relationship that perpetuates a lie can be doomed from the start. If you truly love him then you need to be truthful (and not secretive) with him no matter what the consequences may be. He should respect you more for it, and your relationship just might get stronger because of it. Don’t think selfishly. Let him know, and remember that no one is perfect, with the “possible” exception of the Phantom Poet:

 

 

I have this fear that my relationship may be on the skids

And that’s because I found out that I can’t have any kids

I know that our lives could truly be complete

If we could only hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet

The doctors said I can’t and for them there is no doubt

So I hope he will still love me with… or without

So if he wants to have children, I won’t put him in a fog

He can either love me as I am, or “Go get a damn dog”

So if he wants out of this relationship, then I will surely let him escape

Since I cannot have children, at least I’ll still keep my shape

So some man will ALWAYS want me even if it doesn’t turn out to be you

But if we consider adoption then I can still keep my figure too

We may not get any kids but the natural fact is

We can adopt, and I will still be sexy and we can still practice

I realize that your plans to have a family are obviously imminent

but it is quite possible that you just might be “impotent”

So I might be the one who ends up telling you “No thanks”

Especially if it is determined that YOU are the one “shooting blanks”

You can decide to get with a child-bearing woman, one who truly has it

And I can go find me a man who will treasure and appreciate my “asset”

So if having kids is that important to you, then this is what I have to say

Either love me, or leave me, but I will not lose my pride today…

 

 

 A truly tender moment from the Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought you can email me directly at Brettjolly@aol.com. Thank you and have a “jolly” day.

Gary US Bonds with Brett Jolly in concert (He had the vintage hit “A quarter to three”)

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