Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: New Year reflections)

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: New Year reflections).

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: New Year reflections)

Today is officially “New Years Eve” and as I think about past events I am often reminded of things that I would love to see “changed.” A lot of people consider “New Year resolutions” to alter themselves and their circumstances. When I look at my past I feel proud about the things I have accomplished, but I also realize that those people who rely solely on the past never plan for a better future. I still have changes that I know I need to make in regards to myself, but there are changes I would love to see in others. For instance, I would LOVE to see our political parties think more about the welfare of the people as opposed to the welfare of their respective parties. Republicans and Democrats are now battling over this so called “Fiscal Cliff” and it appears that more of the same political rhetoric is still dominating the talks. They need to understand that the faces of Americans have changed drastically over the years. There are now more gays in the population. There are now more Hispanics to consider. There are now more prosperous women in the business field. The poor and middle class “outnumber” the rich and wealthy.  The old moral values that we once adhered to need to be addressed and in some cases “revised.” The last Presidential election exposed this story. Also, I would love to see stricter  gun laws come into effect. Right now we are practically “giving away” guns to mentally challenged people in need of help and we are suffering the consequences of those actions. It is about time for “someone” to stand up to the NRA and let them know that if they cannot “regulate” their own gun sales then we need to regulate “for” them. The Aurora situation and the Newtown school shootings could have been averted with stricter gun laws. I would also like to see a better “foreign policy” put into place. The world needs better “interaction” in order to make this work.  We need to unite against forces like North Korea and Iran to thwart their strives for nuclear development and deployment. As for me, I always look to expand myself. I only have one life, and I hope to reach my full potential one day and keep on setting goals (and conquering them) until I finally “end all world hunger.” Once we stop setting goals for ourselves then in essence we stop “growing.” I hope that you have your own way of “improving” for 2013. Remember, it is not where we come from, but rather where we are “headed” that determines our true value. Here’s to wishing you all the best that this New Year has to offer…

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Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Is there a right time for a woman to invite a man in?)

The other day an old male friend of mine contacted me. We had never been involved romantically. He said that he was in town and he wanted to see me. We found each other on Facebook and he has a wife while I have a boyfriend. I figured that there was no harm with that so we met up for lunch. He escorted me back to my place and I invited him in. Thinking that he was respectful, what happened next startled me. He actually tried to kiss me. I had no idea that this was coming and I told him to stop because I remained true to my boyfriend. My question to you is, “Is there ever a right time for a woman to invite a man in?”

Yes, when you “both” are single, know each other well and have interest in each other. In this incidence you had no intentions of doing anything wrong, but you need to realize that just because a man is either married or “in a relationship” doesn’t mean that he is any less of a man or any less human. Your problem was in “not” being able to recognize his intentions. Most men who are “happily” married would never put themselves in a position where they would spend time with another woman “unescorted” or allow themselves to be invited into another woman’s home without his wife or “significant” other knowing about it. If you are uncertain about his “intentions” there “are” ways to tell. The first thing you need to do is “ask” him questions about his wife. His answers will pretty much dictate what you need to know. If he seems “quick” to dismiss her or make her appear “meaningless” then that means his focus is “not” on her but rather on “you.” If you spend a significant amount of time together and it feels like he doesn’t even want to talk about his wife at all, then chances are she probably doesn’t even know about your meeting with him. When it comes to married men, you should ONLY invite them into your home with the “blessing” of his wife (and you need to hear this from HER own lips first… NOT “his”). Out of respect to her you should never give her husband any reason to get his “hopes” up. Some men don’t know how to handle “friendly” gestures. Just imagine if you were married. Would you want your husband to go “visit” other women and go into their homes without your knowledge? This particular man was only “testing the waters” to see what he could get away with when it came to you. It is important for you to recognize “warning signs.” His ways will catch up to him later, because at some point he WILL get caught. Hopefully you dismissed him and you will never allow those circumstances to transpire again. I’m sure his wife will thank you for that. Here is the Phantom Poet to take us into the holiday weekend.

When it comes to spending time with a male friend, when is the proper time to invite him in?
“When icicles ornament Satan’s fiery realm, and when all gold changes to tin”
Even though we are both in solid relationships I was startled as I could possibly be
I don’t know if that was a marriage certificate in his pocket or if he was just happy to see me
When I invited this married man upstairs I didn’t think any thing would be amiss
But I was surely startled when this joker tried to blind side me with a kiss
I said, “I don’t know if your wife knows that you are making these kind of trips
but you had better be respectful to me and her if you value those lips”
I told you that I had a boyfriend and this much you would surely have found
Because he would have pulled out his can of “Whupass” on you if he had been around
I had a hunch about you and while you were trying to get your “love recipe” cooking
I secretly made a videotape of your actions while you were not looking
You tried to take advantage of me while we were here just sitting
And now you have the nerve to tell me that you were only “kidding?”
Well, I can take a good joke or two. Hey sometimes I can even take a “half”
Let’s send this video to your wife and see how well SHE will laugh
Because while you are traveling the road for old friends with contemplation
You need to respect your family, your wife and your whole matrimonial situation
We were old friends for a long while and I can even tell you when
Because I didn’t have any attraction for you even back then
Now I have a man and you said you have a beautiful wife
So don’t come here expecting any “sideshow”… if you “value” your life

From the sentimental callings of the Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to have featured for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me directly at Brettjolly@aol.com or at Brett@Love-notes.co (spelled exactly like this with a hyphen (-) in the middle. You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

Singer Ashanti and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Using sex to barter)

Subject: Trading housework for sex
 
I always tell my husband if he helps out more with the housework, then “I will give you more sex.” So yesterday he told me I couldn’t spend any money on clothes shopping or getting my nails done, until I give him sex?  Well my husband decided to have an affair because he didn’t get his way, I stopped shopping not only for clothes and my nails but also for food and other household items we need.
 
Now you KNOW better than to do that. Even though your husband should do a lot more around the house, it is a “no-no” to use the “sex” card against him. Plus, when you did that you just GAVE him the opportunity to turn your own decision against you, and that is exactly why you both are in the crappy situation you’re in. I have news for you, though. Your husband had an affair because he just wanted to, but now he can use your actions to help JUSTIFY what he did (In other words, he can now say “I did it because YOU wouldn’t have sex with me). I hope you don’t go for that. Even though he probably needed some, if he wanted to get it from you that badly then all he had to do was just PERFORM the housework. Most times, if a woman tells a man she will “hook him up” he will gladly redo your whole house for you. He will clean gutters, do dishes, walk the damn dog and renovate your living room just on the “speculation” that you might give him “some”… Now once you get MARRIED this whole argument “crumbles to dust.” When you say, “I do” it means that “you do” whenever the moment calls for it. THAT is what marriage is all about. So using the sex card AFTER marriage is NOT the way to handle your business, but BEFORE you get married you have all the impetus to get ALL you can… “WHILE” you can… That sex card can be a pretty powerful thing but be careful when taking it for granted. Here is the Phantom Poet to take this burden off of my shoulders:
 
 
 
When you get married you need to handle your intimate moments smarter
So when it comes to sex, the worse thing you could possibly do is barter
Making love should be your privilege, not just because you want to get paid
Because there are others out there with money who are also willing to trade
For your husband to do housework, there are other things you can do
You can be like most wives and just “complain and argue”
Or if you really want to make your husband a great outstanding guy
Then gladly trade him some housework for a big ole black eye
And if that’s not enough, then surely more will do
You can threaten to punch him and shoot him too
Now you both are in a situation where no lovemaking will begin
Until at least one of you has the “balls” to give in
Now you withheld love from your husband and you shouldn’t have gone there
Because when most men can’t get busy with you, they will find love elsewhere
So your husband decided to have an affair because he couldn’t get his way
And on top of that, no housework was even done by him today
Let’s hope these are not the implications of how your married life will be
Because you’ll have no groceries, no husband, and your house will be filthy
This “trade-off” situation should not be happening with your spouse
And now that he has cheated, you might want to COMPLETELY “clean house”
This kind of behavior is silly, and you both should be hung by your necks
Because when you’re married you are not supposed to trade for sex
So the next time you get married, you might want to consider a few facts
If you want to be particular, then add these clauses in your wedding contracts
And if you want your husband to be happy, then just play to his desire
And NEVER try to engage in having sex… for hire…
 
”Okay, honey, I’m finished…Can I get my RAISE now?” The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought page, please feel welcome to contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (spelled with a hyphen in the middle). You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

The Stylistics and Brett Jolly performing for a PBS concert

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