Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (from Monday through Friday)

Mr. Jolly. I know this is a very loaded question, but if you were in charge how would you fix the economy? There are varying opinions out there as to how it should be done. You seem like someone who is aware of a lot, do I figured I would throw this topic your way. Sorry to put you on the spot but I would love to know what you think. What do you say?

Well, I am NOT an expert on the economy (by any means), but if I had to tackle the issue, the very first thing I would do is focus on the price of gasoline. You see, as the price of gas goes higher, so does everything else. It is a known fact that people have to raise prices of just about everything when the cost of natural oil and gas increases. I would think that if we could find a way to keep the cost of natural oil and gas down (maybe through offshore drilling) then the economy would improve dramatically. Also, I would take government money to build and establish more libraries, police stations, recreation centers, museums and more institutions that would create the need for employment. I would also give bigger incentives (like maybe tax breaks) to the corporations who engage in procedures that create more job opportunities for people to be hired. I always felt that we don’t really need the intervention of government to help jump start the economy, but it couldn’t hurt to have it. To me, all it takes is for someone to come up with a great idea and then just follow through on it. There is still a lot of demand for many things that we don’t have and once someone capitalizes on these ideas then others will follow suit (thus improving the economy in the process). We also need to do like Ford did, (who improved their products and services greatly). They realized their own deficiencies and made a remarkable recovery. We need to study the success stories of companies like them and Walmart (along with other companies that are doing well through this recession). We also need to focus on the resources we already have to improve our economy.  Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, there is a wealth of information that we can learn from the inmates already incarcerated in our criminal institutions. We need to study the factors that made them turn to a life of crime so that we can correct them for future generations.  Also, it takes about $40,000 to 50,000 a year to house these inmates. Wouldn’t it be awesome if they were working and MAKING money instead of us paying money to incarcerate them? Also, as great as technology is, it can also be our greatest detriment. For example, the internet was a great idea, but when it came into existence the post office suffered mightily from less business (Because people relied more on email than conventional mail). We need to be able to change as technology changes. Many years ago someone had already invented the car that could get a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. The biggest problem is that if most people had one it would put so many other people out of work (like gas station attendants). If doctors found cures that would guarantee that no one ever gets sick again, then there would no longer be a need for doctors. If government regulated cars so that they could go “no  higher” than 75 miles per hour in speed then it would greatly affect the revenue police and judges get when they pull you over for a ticket. We have to work within our own structure to improve ourselves without eliminating ourselves from a making a living. As I have said, I am NOT an expert on the economy, but I do often take note of the things I would like to see happen to help improve the quality of life for everyone. I do apologize if my answers seem ignorant or uneducated, but this is only “my” perception. I do believe that we can control our own destiny though entrepreneurial opportunities, education and investment. The government can only do so much, but I believe it is up to us to make our own way. I did the best I could on this subject but I am sure I have overlooked other ideas. I welcome anyone with any suggestions, comments, or questions. Thank you and have a truly “jolly” day.

 


 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, you can email me directly at Brettjolly@aol.com

 

The Soul Survivors (They had the hit “Expressway to your heart”) and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Dear Brett,

 

 

Subject: Can’t have kids

 

 

I can’t have children for medical reasons. I’ve spoken to numerous doctors who all agree I can’t conceive. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four months and he often talks about wanting to have kids one day. Should I tell him that it won’t happen with me? I’m scared he’ll break up with me.

 

 

I fully understand your desire to want to keep him, but it would be wrong to keep him under false pretenses. He deserves to know about your situation, and he deserves the opportunity to work out a viable solution with you. If he stops loving you because of this then he was not the right man for you in the first place and you need to accept that. Also you need to know that just because doctor’s say you can’t conceive doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t have children. There is a source “much higher” than them that always has the last say on “miracles.”  It might be wise to have a consultation with one of those Invitro fertilization clinics to discuss options. I have heard that some of those places have performed miraculous tasks. Of course a relationship that perpetuates a lie can be doomed from the start. If you truly love him then you need to be truthful (and not secretive) with him no matter what the consequences may be. He should respect you more for it, and your relationship just might get stronger because of it. Don’t think selfishly. Let him know, and remember that no one is perfect, with the “possible” exception of the Phantom Poet:

 

 

I have this fear that my relationship may be on the skids

And that’s because I found out that I can’t have any kids

I know that our lives could truly be complete

If we could only hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet

The doctors said I can’t and for them there is no doubt

So I hope he will still love me with… or without

So if he wants to have children, I won’t put him in a fog

He can either love me as I am, or “Go get a damn dog”

So if he wants out of this relationship, then I will surely let him escape

Since I cannot have children, at least I’ll still keep my shape

So some man will ALWAYS want me even if it doesn’t turn out to be you

But if we consider adoption then I can still keep my figure too

We may not get any kids but the natural fact is

We can adopt, and I will still be sexy and we can still practice

I realize that your plans to have a family are obviously imminent

but it is quite possible that you just might be “impotent”

So I might be the one who ends up telling you “No thanks”

Especially if it is determined that YOU are the one “shooting blanks”

You can decide to get with a child-bearing woman, one who truly has it

And I can go find me a man who will treasure and appreciate my “asset”

So if having kids is that important to you, then this is what I have to say

Either love me, or leave me, but I will not lose my pride today…

 

 

 A truly tender moment from the Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought you can email me directly at Brettjolly@aol.com. Thank you and have a “jolly” day.

Gary US Bonds with Brett Jolly in concert (He had the vintage hit “A quarter to three”)

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Brett Jolly,

I am thinking about starting a small business, which is something I have never done before. Every time I feel inspired to put it all together someone deflates my balloon by telling me about how bad the economy is and how tough it is to start something new. I must admit that I do have some fear of investing in something that may not work. I don’t have a lot of money to put into this and if it doesn’t work I will be in bad shape. My head tells me “No” while my heart says “Go for it.” Should I listen to my friends or go with my desire?

When it comes to “any” business opportunity there will ALWAYS be risk involved. That cannot be avoided. You can’t even win the million dollar lottery without at least taking the chance of “losing” a dollar investment. Everyone can use the economy as an excuse for not following through on your dreams, but the facts are that if you become successful then you may take a part in helping to “revive” the economy. All it really takes to be successful in business is to “know the circumstances” you have to deal with. In fact, if you play your cards right, you might just benefit from starting a business “during a recession.” For example, some people may be financially strapped and unable to afford necessities like a car. If during this recession you manage to come up with an economically priced affordable car then you could make a lot of money from people who need your services. The same could be said for other products and/or services. The main part about any business venture is the “promotional” aspect. No one will buy what you have unless they know it exists, and that is where marketing comes in. Not only do you have to provide a product/service that people want, but you have to find a way to “sell” your new concept to the public. You will also need to incorporate these promotional costs in your plans. Planning is essential and you need to research ALL opportunities and options before putting your product “out there.” You may want to Google people who have come up with concepts similar to yours and review their success/failure  stories. The easiest thing to do is to consider “failure.” Most people who fail are the ones who considered failure “too much.” It is important that you go into your venture with confidence and faith. For instance, if you have to jump from one cliff to another with a ten thousand foot drop awaiting you, the LAST thing you want to do is not put your “all” into the jump. This is where your own “doubt” could end up killing you. Well, the same can be said for starting a business. If your friends are trying to persuade you to abandon your dream then I would say it’s time for you to stop talking to your friends. It is a known fact that Bill Gates started Microsoft during a recession, and look where he is now. Also, you may want to review the success story of Steve Jobs for inspiration as well. The true value of life is what you make of it. You can be content working for others and getting a fixed income for life, or you can take matters into your own hands by becoming your own boss and making your own way (and subsequently have other people working for you). You don’t have anything to prove to anyone other than yourself. If you can “dream it,” then by all means you can “live it,” but first you must develop confidence and faith. Then once you become rich you can take your friends out to dinner with the money they said you “wouldn’t make.” Don’t become your own worst enemy. Life is made for taking chances, and you will never  know your full potential until you reach out to grasp it. Good luck to you, and please have a “jolly” weekend with this magical lyrical rendition from the Phantom Poet:

I want a great home, expensive cars, a luxurious life and romance
I can have that with a great business, but first I must take that chance
I have a great idea that I shared with my friends, but they all told me to stop
but I think I can  make a whole lot of money with a “hooker car wash shop”
Most of my male friends would be patrons, and I think it would all be good
Just wait until you see the service that my girls provide “under the hood”
Having scantily clad women wash your car is something that I think will attract
And with each hooker, the male puts the car in neutral while riding in the back
And the hookers will be thorough to make sure that they clean any and all points
And for a little extra, they might even adjust  your “ball joints”
For a few extra dollars in my car wash, just about anything goes
You can adjust your “belts” while fixing your “hoes” (uh, hose)
I really believe in my concept and I know I have a lot to prove
but with my car wash, the car doesn’t even have to be turned on to “move”
I haven’t even started promoting this yet and for some reason I am already in shock
We’re not even open, and yet the line for my service is already around the block
My friends were against me, but for their opinions I would like to “thank”
Because through their negativity I can say that I’m laughing all the way to the “bank”
My business is running GREAT and nothing else out there really compares
And if for some reason the car doesn’t get clean, who the hell really cares?

“Oh, I know I’m going to pay for THIS one”…. The Phantom Poet

Harold Melvin’s Bluenotes and Brett Jolly in concert (Brett in left corner with red guitar)

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Brett Jolly,I a…

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Mr. Jolly, I believe I have a stalker. This man is not in my hometown, but I made the mistake of making him a friend on Facebook. He seems OVERLY concerned about my children (He has never met them) and he found my phone number and calls me often. I tried to play it off at first but then he started to tell me that he loves me and he knows I love him back. He did research on me and discovered my old jobs, the places where I used to live and he knows about members of my family (things I never old him). When I tried to tell him that I am not in love with him then he got really angry. He keeps saying that we are meant to be together and he is looking forward to the day we are married. Mr. Jolly, I have never in my life met this man. I am so sorry I ever made him my Facebook friend. Somehow he knows all my private information and he is scaring me. I don’t want to get him angry. What can I do?

First and foremost, you need to report him to the authorities (You can report him to the police in your home town and also in his area). Next you need to print out any and ALL conversations you have had with him on Facebook (BEFORE you delete or block him). You should also save any voice mail recordings that you have as evidence. When it comes to Facebook stalkers you are by no means alone. Many people have had to deal with delusional people with issues online. I have had my own dealings with an online stalker. She was from another city and she claimed that I was visiting her city and spying on her with some short dark skinned woman. She also claimed that I was controlling her television and internet. Finally, she told me that she was going to report me to “Internal Affairs.” Well, I told her to never call me again, and to seek professional help (By the way, I never physically met her either). She told me that she will see me in court. I am sure she went to the authorities but once they heard her story it would go no further. Fortunately, I have not heard back from her since then (She has also been deleted as my friend on Facebook) but I am still cautious. In your situation you cannot let your fear compel you to be “inactive.” If you are afraid of angering him then you will only succeed in making your own life miserable from constantly being on the lookout. The police, your friends, your neighbors and your employees need to know of this individual, and if possible supply them with “pictures.” We all know that there are “troubled” people in the world. For this man to “search” for your history data means that he has a strong “infatuation” for you. That should NOT be ignored. You don’t want to say anything to “set” him off but you need to know his history as well, and that is where the authorities can come in. Chances are if he is stalking you now then he has probably stalked others in the past, and if he is a repeat offender (or on any type of probation) then the authorities have justification to cart him off to jail. The worst thing you can do is blame yourself for his behavior. It is not your fault. For people who are mentally “imbalanced” there is no way to tell “what” will set them off. You need to press charges against this individual when possible (If not for your own sake then for the sake of your children and possibly other women that he may torment in the future). Since you don’t know this man then you also don’t know what he is capable of… Don’t take a chance and dismiss this as “insignificant.” If he can go through the effort to dig up your information then he is capable of coming to see you “uninvited.” Once you report it to the authorities they will explain your options to you. No one should have to live in fear of crazed individuals. However, there are too many of them in this world for you to think you can avoid “them all.” Before making someone a friend on Facebook make sure that you “read” his or her profile page first. Often you will see “something” there that will implicate him or her and raise a “red flag.” After checking it out, if you don’t have a good feeling about this person then by all means don’t accept him. You cannot control the actions of others online (ESPECIALLY when it comes to Facebook), but you can stop it from going too far. Do yourself a favor and contact the authorities NOW before it gets any worse. Good luck to you and please follow up with us on this story

 

Stevie Wonder and Brett JollyImage

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Brett Jolly, I am not an unattractive woman yet I have not had a date in what seems like forever. One of two things happens, I get compliments, stares and smiles (I feel like a doll on display everybody looks at but nobody buys) or I am not believed when I say I don’t have anyone. Why is it men are so afraid to take a chance?

 

 

 

There are men out there who love the challenge of conquering difficult women. There are also other men who get “intimidated” easily. If you are getting compliments, stares and smiles then it is obvious that these men are interested in you. If most men think you are pretty enough to warrant “initiating” a conversation then most of them will do so with the “intentions” of “following through.” Since I cannot see how you handle yourself when a man confronts you, I can only “speculate” as to what might be wrong. Most men don’t change direction like that unless something purposely alters their perceptions. It could be your facial expressions, your mannerisms or it could be something in the “way” that you are responding back to them, but I would think that there might possibly be something you are “unknowingly” doing to give them a false impression. It is even quite possible that you are making yourself “too easy” a target for men. The real trick in introductions is in showing “value.” The man has to feel as though you are a great treasure. If you try too hard, then men will detect that and it might turn them off. However, if you make yourself “too difficult” it could have the same effect. For women, I always think the best way to get a man is to smile and let him initiate and dominate most of the conversation (All he is going to do is talk about himself anyway). While he is doing his thing, you can make mental assessments of what kind of man he is. Instead of telling a man that you don’t have anyone it might be better to respond by asking, “Why, are you applying for the position?” Sometimes when you tell a man that you don’t have anyone they tend to think that you are not good enough to get a man. The truth of the matter is that whether you have a man or not, most men will try to come after you anyway. Lastly, you need to exhibit a care-free attitude. If a man doesn’t have the balls to try to get to know you then he is not worth your time anyway. When meeting someone new, let the man do most of the talking and make it seem like you are judging him, rather then him judging you. He may be the initiator, but you have the last word. Finally, when he asks for your number (and he WILL ask for your number) take your time before giving it to him. An easy “conquest” may satisfy the man’s ego, but it won’t guarantee that he will call you later. The right man is out there for you, but first you will have to go through a bunch of “milk duds” before you find him (or he finds you). Continue to handle yourself appropriately and be patient. Remember, the object of the game is NOT to find a man, but rather to find the “RIGHT” man… When he comes along, you will know. Good luck to you and here is the Phantom Poet to take us through the day.

 

 

 

When it comes to getting a date I try to use my wits and be clever

 

But for some reason it seems as though I have not had a date like forever

 

Just like anyone else, I’d like to engage in a little bit of romance

 

But I can’t figure out why men are afraid to take the chance

 

I get stares, compliments and smiles from plenty of guys

 

But I feel like the department store doll that no one buys

 

I’m not unattractive, I’m classy and my great personality exudes

 

So just what the hell is it that’s wrong with all these dudes?

 

I dress great, I bathe, but this I need to mention

 

I won’t mind clubbing you with a bat to get your attention

 

In your daze of unconsciousness we can even have a great discussion

 

And you can tell me all the things you can still remember through your concussion

 

And we can live together in harmony where each morning you wake to my voice

 

After I chain you up in my basement where you won’t really have a choice

 

Where you can confess your love for me, and I know it will be the truth

 

Because no one will hear your screams down here, because my basement’s “soundproof”

 

I’ll feed you, but I won’t unchain you so you will never have to wonder

 

And you and I can enjoy the rest of our lives living “happily ever under”

 

 

 

 

“Thank you for your thunderous applause”… the Phantom Poet

 

Brett Jolly in “heavy” meditation

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Brett, is the scenario below respectable/acceptable?

One unmarried couple in a three-year relationship
One decides it’s stagnant and quits-putting an end to the relationship, but without discussion

Communication should always be the key in any relationship, and if they only had enough discussions “during” the relationship then maybe it might help them avoid a “discussion-less” breakup. From what you have mentioned there is not enough detail to formulate a definitive answer, but I will say that if during the relationship they meant anything to each other then they should at least have the resolve to talk about why it now has to be ended. Of course, if one of them feels that the relationship is stagnant, then that might possibly mean that they had  discussions about it before.  When something is “stagnant” it basically means that it’s not going “anywhere.” The purpose of most relationships should be to “build” into something more meaningful and fulfilling with time. In other words, your intentions should be to “grow as you go.” Of course, during this process you also should be getting to know your mate better and making your own determination as to how much further you want to take this. Sometimes when learning more things about your mate it can have an adverse effect on the relationship. Three years  seems like enough time where you should have experienced “some” growth but things should not always be based on the “time” element. I always say that couples should wait until they both are “ready” to go the next level (whatever that level may be). If that level of “readiness” never comes then it might be wise to reassess your situation (but at least make sure that you take all factors into consideration). Sometimes when you focus more on the “time” element of things it tends to rush the procedure which could have dire consequences later on. It is important to let your partner know how you feel, but it is also important for HOW you let you partner know. Conversations usually have a better chance of resolution if you can speak without emotion. Often when communication gets emotional then rarely do couples hear each other. Instead it turns into shouting matches that often do more damage than good. After 3 years of being together, I think your mate has a right to know why you want to end it (Unless, of course, there has been any abuse or infidelity in the relationship). Most people can “feel” if their relationship has no chance of getting better, and if it doesn’t feel right to you, then you have the right to move on. However, in order for this scenario to be respectable it is important to offer “respect.” Tell your lover what you feel, and “why” you feel it. If you care about each other at all, then I think you both owe each other at least “that much.” Who knows? in breaking up you might find some new revelation in your mate that “might” save your relationship. You have nothing to lose by discussing it. Good luck and have a “jolly” day.

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Mr. Jolly, Why is it that when a woman explains things to a man he creates his own definition of what she is saying? If I tell a man that I am already happily married or in a relationship then why does he STILL try to hit on me? When a woman tells a man that she is not interested in his money then why does he still go out of his way to flaunt it when trying to get to know her? Why is it that when a woman tries to explain things from her own perspective the man still thinks it is all about him? Brett, do men and woman speak two different languages? Why is it that men and women can never seem to be on the same page?

It is true that men will often see things differently than women (and sometimes the reverse is also true). Case in point: Some women can be more sensitive about little things like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. If a man misses any of these particular dates then he is often subject to “execution” (even if he treats her extremely special on all the “other” days of the year). Most women focus on the person “underneath the surface” while most men pay particular attention the outer “visual” image of a woman. When arguing, most women like to “vent” while most men are only interested in “resolving.” Even though both men and women may talk the same language, it doesn’t mean that they both have the same perception of that language. Here are some examples to ponder (Please do not take these literally. This is only for humor and entertainment purposes only!):

“When a man takes a woman out on the town, pays for all of it but makes “sure” that he shows the lady how much he is spending on her.”
    Her thoughts: “Superficial bastard, but with money I can make myself love him”
    His thoughts: “I should  have spent just enough to get me some for later on this evening”

“When a man finds out for the very first time that this woman has no less than a grand total of  nine kids”
     Her thoughts: ” I wonder if he will think that I’m an “easy” date?
     His thoughts:  “If I claim I have erectile dysfunction now then maybe I can escape without having to perform services rendered later this evening”

“When a woman says, “Not tonight honey, I have a headache”
     Her thoughts: It ain’t going to last no more than 5 seconds anyway, so why bother?
     His thoughts: I just hope she has some really strong jaws”

When a woman has a “nice personality”
     Her thoughts: “Looks shouldn’t really matter
     His thoughts: “She’s ugly as sh#$”

When a man says,” Baby, of course I love you”
     Her thoughts: “Yeah right, and the cow jumped over the moon too”
     His thoughts: “Now will you please shut the hell up?

When a woman wears a VERY revealing outfit but asks you to love her for her “mind”
     Her thoughts: “Let’s see if he can at least look me in the eye when talking”
     His thoughts: “She has eyes?”

When  a man shows up for a date dressed in jeans and a dirty t-shirt and driving an old 1975 station wagon with no air
     Her thoughts: ” During intermission I might be able to sneak out through the bathroom window”
     His thoughts: “I wonder if she doesn’t mind going dutch?”

When a man asks a woman “What’s wrong, baby?” and she says “Nothing”
     Her thoughts: “You damn well already know what’s wrong”
     His thoughts: “Whew, for a minute there I thought something was actually wrong”

Today I just wanted to be a little different, but we all know that when it comes to men and women, what we say is not always what we mean. Regardless, we cannot exist without each other and to all the women out there who are confused by the things your man does, rest assured you are by NO means alone (smile). For all the men who cannot understand why your woman feels the way she does, just accept responsibility for it, because in the end it is going to be “your fault” anyway. I hope I managed to put a smile on someone’s face today, and thank you for reading my Daily Thought. Please have a truly “jolly” day.

 

Vintage shot of Brett Jolly with Holly Robinson-Peete

 

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