Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“12 bad things that can happen to your health when you stop having sex”)

No, I am by “no” means an expert of this. In fact, I just happened to see the article and was curious to read about it. I do know that lack of sex can effect you in different ways, but I did not know that it could cause this much damage. For the record, I am not trying to “imply anything to anyone.” This has nothing to do with me or anyone I know. After reading this “you can make your OWN assessment about your OWN situation.” However, if you are not feeling up to par, then this “could” be a possible remedy. Please don’t send me any hate mail on this. I am only relaying information (smile). Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Getting sex elsewhere)

Dear Brett,




Subject: wanting to go elsewhere for sex




I’ve been married for a very, very long time. She is the love of my life and my best friend. Even through tough times we’ve always come through with flying colors. We have three children. One is grown and gone, a teenager and a toddler. My problem is the lack of sex in our life. Either she is always too tired, or the famous “I have a headache”. I’ll love her forever – that will never change – but I need more from her. Would it be cheating if I just paid for sex from someone with no obligations?




“Yes, it would.” Any extramarital sex (with a member other than your spouse) would be considered cheating. You do have a problem, but it is possible that you can address it through counseling or going to a medical doctor. It is sometimes common for spouses to lose that feeling of intimacy after years of marriage. For her it might be a physical or mental condition that might not take a lot to diagnose and remedy. You need to communicate with her and let her know that you love her and that you will do whatever you can to make her happy. You can ask her if there is anything that she might want YOU to do to help get her back in the mood. Open dialogue can sometimes make the difference between a content marriage and “sex filled euphoria”. Once you start paying for gratification you open yourself up to a lot more than what you bargained for. Try to fix the problem at home before you bring in new problems from a broad (uh, sorry… I meant to say “abroad”). And until you can get her to open up more maybe you should try to love her more “mentally” for now. It could be the very first step in reclaiming the magic back in your marriage. Also, you might want to try doing something “different” like sending a little card or even writing her a “personalized love song” (sorry, cheap plug here, but just email me at for details or check out my site Try different approaches, but be consistent in showing your love for her. Don’t settle for failure… MAKE it work…. And here is the Phantom Poet to take this concept way out of proportion:




I truly love my wife, and for me she is the only one


But it is getting real frustrating because I ain’t getting none


When it comes to getting intimate, she gets headaches or she tires


It’s only a matter of time before my “penis warranty” expires


I wish we could come up with a way to resolve this plight


Seems I keep getting attacked by my own organ every night


All it really takes is some tender loving care


To help relinquish all that tension down there


Especially during those moments when we have time to kill


You don’t have to do anything at all… In fact, just lay still


You’re my wife, and you’re supposed to be there when love beckons


And you KNOW this ain’t gonna last no more than thirty seconds


YOU are the woman I married so for my needs you are the one


For us it is a simple formula: “In… Out… Done!”


I’m not trying to upset you, and I certainly don’t want to cause flack


But baby, you should be tired of constantly getting poked in the back


Because we are not intimate much, I just do my best to contain, so


You need to understand that right now I’m a walking volcano


I’ve heard of saving energy, but we don’t need THIS type of conservation


You can provide in-house service or I’ll even accept an “oral” dissertation


It really doesn’t take much to keep me satisfied


And I really need the love that only you provide


So if you want me to remain faithful, you need to act like you know


Because soon you may hear stories about me and some crack hoe


I’d like for you, my wife, to give and for me, your husband, to get


So that I can remain a good husband whenever I want my needs met




From the “throbbing” files of the Phantom Poet


Dexter Wansel and Brett Jolly in an outside concert



Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Sex and drinking)

Dear Brett,


Subject: Drinking and sex


Hey Man, first of all it’s very embarrassing writing this, but I must get some advice on the matter. After going out and having a couple of drinks, my girlfriend and I like to finalize the night with having good sex. Yet, I feel I have a problem. My girl and I go through lots of foreplay and I get erected. However, it takes me forever to try to ejaculate. Sometimes it doesn’t even happen. When an hour goes by (yes an hour) my girlfriend is now tired and appears very disappointed. I would like to know is it the alcohol or my age?(I’m 51 years old) I really don’t want to lose my  girlfriend. By the way, she’s 46 and has lots of energy. She hardly drinks. Please let me know something before it’s too late!


I don’t think this is such an embarrassing situation to mention at all (even though I really don’t know WHY my kids are over here giggling so hard). It is a well-known fact that alcohol slows down your reaction time, and impairs more than just your vision. In fact, alcohol is a major cause of impotence (erectile dysfunction). A lot of males fail to realize this, mainly because they think that booze will boost horniness. The truth is that it will increase the desire, but take away the performance. When you add your age to it then that could further impact the situation. I can’t tell you that the alcohol is a direct cause of the difficulties you are having, but I can tell you that you can get a proper assessment from visiting a doctor. While alcohol could still play a part in your problems there could be some other issues with your prostate as well (at 51 years of age, it would be wise to look into all possibilities). A doctor can give you a thorough examination and pinpoint what you are actually going through. I also think that periodically you might want to change your methods and try having sex WITHOUT drinking beforehand, and see if there is any noticeable difference in your performance. As for your girlfriend, the best way to keep her is to just communicate with her. Never allow her to feel that she is somehow “inadequate”. She should appreciate you opening up to her, telling her the truth and letting her know what steps you are taking to remedy the situation. I often think that women understand men better then “men” do. As we all progress in age we are not going to continue to be the sexual dynamos we once were (That won’t stop us from trying, though). At some point there will be change, but if you can keep your health up you will increase your chances of more “longevity” in your sexual conquests (hey, I like the way that sounds). Your girlfriend should appreciate it too, and hopefully love you even more for taking these steps for her. Please make sure you take consider these options before she gets to read this magnificent verse from the Phantom Poet:


The time has come where I just got to admit it

My girl and I drink, and then try to “hit it”

I get so impaired that I don’t know which one to enter

My girl on the right, the left, or the one in the center

We engage in lots of foreplay, and we never quit

When we’re finally there I say, “Honey, I think this is it”.

I go on for over an hour, but no ejaculation will I get

Then my girl gets tired and feels inadequate

I’m 51 years old, so is it my age or just the drinking?

It might be a little bit of both is what I’m now thinking

Last week sex was great, and that was much to my delight

But my girl told me that she switched my booze with “Sprite”

I was angry at first, because I didn’t believe she would make that change

She said, “At least you are functioning now, and able to hit it long range”

If I need to drink Sprite now, then I guess that will do fine

And maybe I’ll stop passing out BEFORE I get mine

Well, I need to thank my girl for giving me soda to get me back on track

Now we are back to hitting it right… and hell, I’ll “drink” to that…

So if you want to have great sex, cutting out the booze might do the trick

Or elsh yush can hav shloppey shex all the time (burp! Hic!)


                   How dry I “ain’t”… The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, you can email me directly at

Singer/actor Tyrese Gibson and Brett Jolly performing for funeral of Teddy Pendergrass (Taken from national television coverage)


Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Friday)

Mr. Jolly, Why is it that when a woman explains things to a man he creates his own definition of what she is saying? If I tell a man that I am already happily married or in a relationship then why does he STILL try to hit on me? When a woman tells a man that she is not interested in his money then why does he still go out of his way to flaunt it when trying to get to know her? Why is it that when a woman tries to explain things from her own perspective the man still thinks it is all about him? Brett, do men and woman speak two different languages? Why is it that men and women can never seem to be on the same page?

It is true that men will often see things differently than women (and sometimes the reverse is also true). Case in point: Some women can be more sensitive about little things like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. If a man misses any of these particular dates then he is often subject to “execution” (even if he treats her extremely special on all the “other” days of the year). Most women focus on the person “underneath the surface” while most men pay particular attention the outer “visual” image of a woman. When arguing, most women like to “vent” while most men are only interested in “resolving.” Even though both men and women may talk the same language, it doesn’t mean that they both have the same perception of that language. Here are some examples to ponder (Please do not take these literally. This is only for humor and entertainment purposes only!):

“When a man takes a woman out on the town, pays for all of it but makes “sure” that he shows the lady how much he is spending on her.”
    Her thoughts: “Superficial bastard, but with money I can make myself love him”
    His thoughts: “I should  have spent just enough to get me some for later on this evening”

“When a man finds out for the very first time that this woman has no less than a grand total of  nine kids”
     Her thoughts: ” I wonder if he will think that I’m an “easy” date?
     His thoughts:  “If I claim I have erectile dysfunction now then maybe I can escape without having to perform services rendered later this evening”

“When a woman says, “Not tonight honey, I have a headache”
     Her thoughts: It ain’t going to last no more than 5 seconds anyway, so why bother?
     His thoughts: I just hope she has some really strong jaws”

When a woman has a “nice personality”
     Her thoughts: “Looks shouldn’t really matter
     His thoughts: “She’s ugly as sh#$”

When a man says,” Baby, of course I love you”
     Her thoughts: “Yeah right, and the cow jumped over the moon too”
     His thoughts: “Now will you please shut the hell up?

When a woman wears a VERY revealing outfit but asks you to love her for her “mind”
     Her thoughts: “Let’s see if he can at least look me in the eye when talking”
     His thoughts: “She has eyes?”

When  a man shows up for a date dressed in jeans and a dirty t-shirt and driving an old 1975 station wagon with no air
     Her thoughts: ” During intermission I might be able to sneak out through the bathroom window”
     His thoughts: “I wonder if she doesn’t mind going dutch?”

When a man asks a woman “What’s wrong, baby?” and she says “Nothing”
     Her thoughts: “You damn well already know what’s wrong”
     His thoughts: “Whew, for a minute there I thought something was actually wrong”

Today I just wanted to be a little different, but we all know that when it comes to men and women, what we say is not always what we mean. Regardless, we cannot exist without each other and to all the women out there who are confused by the things your man does, rest assured you are by NO means alone (smile). For all the men who cannot understand why your woman feels the way she does, just accept responsibility for it, because in the end it is going to be “your fault” anyway. I hope I managed to put a smile on someone’s face today, and thank you for reading my Daily Thought. Please have a truly “jolly” day.


Vintage shot of Brett Jolly with Holly Robinson-Peete