I am enamored with a great fellow. We seem to be on the same page on many issues. But we are not in sync where time is concerned. For example, I am eager to see him whenever I can because his schedule is so hectic. Sometimes I might seem almost pushy because I want so much for us to spend more time together. But the last thing I want to do is pressure him. He, on the other hand, is laid-back and says we’ll connect…eventually. I don’t think he is putting me off (but he could be). I think that it is the difference in our perceptions. It’s like when women hear the biological clock pounding in our ears and men want to hear the scores of the playoff games. I propose (bad word) walks, dinners, and meetings to no avail. Is it TIME for me to consider doing something drastic? Please explain to me the differences between how men and women view time. Any other advice you might offer to shed light on the male view and how I could proceed effectively would be timely (sorry).
Time usually has two very different meanings when it comes to men and women. For example, if you asked a married couple what time it is, the man would probably say something like “ One thirty”. However, if you asked his wife that same question, she would probably say something like “Time for his lazy butt to get up and mow the lawn.” In reality they both are saying the same thing, but it is the “interpretation” of it that makes things “seem” different. If you asked a married couple when they plan to get their roof fixed, the wife will probably say something like “Soon”. If you ask the husband that same question, he will probably think “Soon as she stops spending my #$%^& money and we can afford to get it done”. These are the differences that some men and woman experience when it comes to their own versions of “time”. There is an old adage that says, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” and in terms of the way both genders think this statement actually has a lot of validity to it. It seems as though a lot of men don’t view “time” matters with the same sense of “urgency” as women do (and I honestly don’t think it has anything to do with the biological clock theory…even though that has a completely different “time” element to it). Women are more prone to remember timely things like anniversary dates, where a lot of men are more prone to forget them (and pay the price for doing so). This usually prompts the wife to throw him out. When it comes to relationships, the main thing that people should realize is that people truly “are” different. What you may think is normal to you may be “abnormal” to someone else. A great relationship is not solely based on how much you love each other, but how much you can incorporate your differences into your lives together. It is okay to have different “perceptions”… Most of us do… As long as when you get together the time seems to be just “right”, then that is all the justification you need. Take the time to understand each other, and when it all works out, then I’m sure time will stand still for the both of you…. “Watch” out for this timely relic from the Phantom Poet:
My man says we will connect eventually
But some times that doesn’t seem soon enough for me
He is very laid back, and I don’t want to put on pressure
But a lot of times I end up watching the clock on my dresser
Do you think it’s time for me to do something drastic?
Like maybe get one of those battery-operated toys of plastic?
When I ask him, he keeps saying that we’ll get together soon
When I ask for specifics he sometimes says “May… or June”
I know his schedule, and it is so very hectic
He hardly has time, and his life will reflect it
But if you want to spend time together, you need inspiration to make it
I just sent him a text telling him I’m waiting at my door… naked
Thirty seconds later, there’s a big knock at my door
He says, “Can you guess what I am here for?”
When he heard about my situation, it was much more than he could stand
And when he knocked on my door, he did “NOT” use his hand…
I am glad to see that you were able to come around
And from what I see here, I’m surprised you didn’t “break my door down
“You live 60 miles away, and yet you made it here in a 30 minute ride
He said, “Baby, I really wanted to see you, and my spirit is uh…. intensified”
Well, I guess I got my man after all…I just had to know the right things to say
EVERY woman might want to consider getting her man in this way
So if your man seems too busy, you don’t have much to lose
Just give your honey a sincere offer… One that he just “can’t” refuse…
From the time oriented archives of the Phantom Poet
If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brett@Love-notes.co or check out my web site WWW.BrettJolly.com.
Bonnie Raitt and Brett Jolly performing in concert