Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Text man)

Subject: text man
I’ve met a new guy and after a few dates everything is going well. There is this one awkward problem, however. He insists on communicating with me by texting to my cell phone. I rarely text. I much prefer talking to someone rather than texting. Especially someone I’m dating. What is a good way to tell him to stop texting?
By taking your lips and forming two words… “Stop it”. He is obviously one of those “new generation” people who JUST got a new phone and just HAS to “show off” for everyone with it (Some people can get really irritating with this). He needs to realize that on some plans people can get charged for each text message they receive, so if he continually wants to let his “fingers do the talking” it could end up costing you. If you think about it, while he continues to send text messages someone else may not be able to get through because your message box is full, and that could be a real problem in case of an emergency. I have never been a big fan of sending a text, because in the time it takes to type the sentence out I could have just called and said my message quicker. If after telling him he still refuses to respect your wishes, then you will need to be even more forceful with it. It is important that he get the “message”. I have an idea. Send him an email, and then keep hitting the “resend” button. When his mailbox gets full and he has to delete all that crap then hopefully he will have an idea of how it feels. In fact, you can repeatedly email him this luscious poem from the Phantom Poet:
This new guy I’m dating has some irritating effects
He is pissing me off when he sends me too many texts
I realize that is his way of communicating and I respect his choice
But when I’m dating someone I would really prefer to hear his voice
How can I get him to just understand?
That I need more personality when it comes to my man
I wish I could find a way for us to get through it
I have an idea, and I think I know just how to do it
I will tell him that I am ready for a real intimate night
I’m feeling extremely sexual and I want to do this up right
I will tell him to be prepared to scream and shout
Because tonight I intend to sexually wear him out
I tell him to leave his door unlocked, take off his clothes and jump in bed
But rather than show up at his house, I send a text message instead
I send him all kinds of dirty messages, letting him know what I’ll do
Then he replies back to me saying, “but baby, when am I going to have you?”
I let him know that this is the new way to love; we can keep going until dawn
And since he likes to text so much, then this should REALLY turn him on
He says, “but baby, I am here waiting for you, and I went and got undressed”
I respond by saying, “Then you had better be prepared to send even more texts”
“This is truly magical baby… Can you believe we are having so much fun?”
“Your fingers should be good and worn out by the time we’re done”
He said” Baby, I want a little more than this… I didn’t expect to be here all alone”
I said, “But at least you can still text me… Now go ahead and work your own”
So if your man doesn’t want to talk and insists on sending nothing but a text
Then let him know that he needs to dial up “1-800-NO-SEX”
Because if you EVER expect to have a sensual night of unadulterated sin
Then play your game right…. Otherwise, I will just… “Call”… it in…
This text provided through the auspices of the Phantom Poet


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Brett Jolly in some “serious” meditationImage