Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought ( How long to hold on to pain?)

All of us experience some form of “pain” in our lives. Whether it is from a bad accident or a bad relationship chances are that all of us will experience “hurt” at some point. If the pain results from the actions of another, how “long” should we hold onto it? I know of people who felt they were terribly wronged during their past relationships. They continually talk about what their “ex-partners” did and can never seem to let go of the past. When you are hurt, how long should you “allow” it to fester? I always say that the best way to get “past” a bad relationship is to make “change.” I am not saying that you need to become someone different, but a lot of times our reflections on life are a result of our “same perceptions and visions.” If you see the same four walls that housed your bad relationship, then those 4 walls will always “remind”  you of that relationship. If you break up with someone, sitting around “reflecting” on it will only give you time to feel “more depressed.” Many years ago my family had a dog that we really loved. The dog’s name was Jude (My mother wanted to be able to yell outside to say “Hey Jude!”) Anyway, we loved that dog so much until one day I came home and saw the dog curled up on the floor. She had died, and our house was extremely sad after that. We didn’t know how to recover. After about 3 days I came home and my brother Bill told me to look under the table. When I did, there was this pair of little eyes staring back at me on the floor. It was a new little puppy, and she was just as cute as she could be. Our atmosphere got brighter and it helped us to recover from our depression. I am telling you this story because it is NOT what others have done to you in the past that should determine your “outlook” on life. It is how you “recover and move on” that should make for the biggest difference. As long as you continue to ponder past relationships then in “your mind” you are only continuing to “relive” those moments. In other words, instead of being abused by your ex, you are now punishing yourself through your own reflections of that relationship. Also, it is “extremely” important to “forgive.” If God can forgive us for our own sins, then why should we behave in an “Un-Godly” fashion? If you cannot forgive, then your hatred will never diminish, and your anger will continue to set your tone. Granted, some acts may be “unforgivable” but that is up to “you” to make that determination. However, the “first” step in “letting go” involves “forgiveness.” If this person is no longer in your life then he or she should not have the power to continually “control” your life. You need to let him or her go, and then you need to let go of yourself. If you continue to hold yourself in bondage to a relationship that no longer exists then in essence you are stopping yourself from finding happiness with the good things that may lay ahead of you. Change can make a difference, but “only” if you “allow” it to…. I hope your day is awesome, and here is the Phantom Poet to get us all off to a “bad” start:

We all know of people from bad relationships who feel they have been wronged
But that doesn’t mean that the agony they suffer should be so prolonged
They talk about the past as though it’s still here with them this very day
And they still seem to suffer from it all, but should it be this way?
People engage in romance thinking that this will end “never”
Then when it fails, they hold on to the pain and suffering forever
When you break up, it is important for you to say this motto over again
“There are plenty of fish in the sea… but also plenty FISHER…MEN”
Being depressed is not healthy and it surely is not the best way for you to live
So if you want to move on, they you need to find it within yourself to “forgive”
I know it is tough to do, but you don’t want to go through life being so upset
While it is Godly to “forgive” by NO means am I saying that you should “forget”
If you still find your heart “boiling” then find some other way to put out those “fires”
And NO, I am NOT referring to you going out to his car and flattening his 4 tires
We all KNOW you want to get back at him, and this much you may want to figure
You can spend a LOT of time behind bars if you decide to “pull that trigger”
And you need to “stop daydreaming” about how you’d like to use that knife
Just calm down, forgive, and “move on” with the rest of your life
As long as your mind is free of him, then no longer can he disturb
And the ONLY act of violence you need, is to just “kick him… to the curb”

“Another love TKO” from the Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at of (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.


Harold Melvin’s Bluenotes (“Bad luck, The love I lost”) and Brett Jolly in concert