This past weekend I had to do a video/picture shoot for a show depicting “cougars.” For those of you who don’t know, “cougars” are older women who only want to date “younger” men. Throughout the taping I had to listen to why these women are so jaded against older men (and try not to develop a “complex” in the process… I was the “only” man at this shooting). I listened and kept quiet through all the “man-bashing” but you KNOW I had to write about it today. Should age really make a difference in a relationship? I say it depends on what you are looking for. Those people who love only according to “statistic” often find trouble down the road. For instance, an older women can find herself a much younger man but that won’t guarantee that they both will be “suitable” for each other. Of course, the same can be said for an older man, or a rich man, or a well built man, etc. What I feel should happen is that we should love the “person” first, and then “accept” whatever condition that comes “with” him or her. There have been times where I have heard people say that they want to marry someone with money. What about having a compatible personality? The interesting part about the discussions yesterday was that most of the women were okay with the fact that they might not be able to form a long lasting relationship with a younger man (which means that the sexual part is what they were after most). If that is what works for you, then by all means “go for it.” However, love by “statistic” doesn’t really amount to love, but rather “gratification.” We all have needs, and I would never want to judge anyone for getting those needs met (as long as it is done “legally” and “morally”). If a woman wants a guy just because he is “younger” then should she be surprised if the guy who is only into her for the “sex?” Sometimes we dictate our own circumstances through our own actions. The conversations these women had should be make for great television, even though it may not make for a great lifestyle. If you are more concerned with a mate’s circumstances than you are with the mate, then that says a lot about you. You should love from the heart, but you “gratify” from all other areas. I only hope that most people find themselves “able” to “tell the difference.” Enter, Phantom Poet:
When it comes to loving someone I think we all need to be realistic
Do you really want to get caught up in loving according to statistic?
I realize that many older women have had their hearts broken again and again
But do they really think that the answers lay with “dating younger men?
Don’t get me wrong, men are just as guilty when they date young women too
But most of them realize that after all their bill payments are overdue
A woman might have it in her mind that she wants to be with a thug, see?
And some men will marry a rich woman even if she is considered ugly
If you love someone according to statistic, then you might find this to be true
You could be using your mate but not even realizing that your mate could be using “you”
The best way to alleviate this problem is by just doing right from the start
When you fall in love with someone, just make sure you do it from the heart
That way your love and be true, and you can set a genuine tone
And just remember that the love you save, just might be your own…
“Yet another riveting display from the Phantom Poet”
If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.
Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage together