My husband and I recently reconciled and have moved back together after 10 months of being apart. Our arguments were always over his need for sex everyday, he just couldn’t understand after working all day, taking care of the kids when I get home, I’m just plain tired. When I ask him to help he tells me it’s women’s work. His solution now is that we make a porn video so when I’m not there physically for the sex at least I’ll be there on the TV. I think he’s lost his mind and I’m ready to ask him to leave again. Do you think I should try to save this marriage or chalk it up as a mistake twice?
I hate to inform you of this, but when you take marriage vows, you are “required by covenant” to satisfy each other’s needs, and yes, that “includes sexually.” I agree that it is unfair for you to work all day with him refusing to help around the house like he should, but because you are married he is SUPPOSED to look to you for fulfilling his sexual desires. The same can be said for you when it comes to him. The whole concept of marriage is that you both now belong to EACH OTHER, so contractually he has EVERY “right” to “want” sex from you. What you may want to do is work out a situation with him where he at least handles “certain duties” around the house. The principle of marriage also means that you both should be “one” when it comes to “housework” too. Just like you have to fulfill your part of the marriage vows he has to do his share as well. As for his strong sexual desire, in “time” that novelty WILL wear off. Until then, you don’t want him looking elsewhere for it. As for the video, he also has a right to ask you to do it as well. He just loves intimacy with his wife, and he is willing to take it in any form he can get it. If you make the video for him, it might just relieve you so that you can get some “rest” and isn’t that what you really want? Examine the overall picture first when it comes to your marriage. You may find that you actually have a very “ideal” situation. Also, try to understand WHY he feels so attached to you in this way. After all, when you think about it, isn’t that what marriage is supposed to be all about? Here comes the Phantom Poet ready to make a porno tape with ANYONE willing to accommodate him:
Maybe I have been secluded too long or I have been living in the woods
But is it true that a wife’s duty is to always give up her goods?
I work hard all day and my job never seems to cut me any slack
And at night I don’t need “Pokey Robinson” sticking me in my back
I’m mentally exhausted, worn out and just not in the best of shape
And can you believe this fool wants me to make some darn porno tape?
I am not the type of woman who just gives in to some guy’s demands
So that he can use my image to take “matters into his own hands”
He constantly likes to remind me to perform what he calls my “wife-ly duty”
And THAT means whenever he wants some I’m supposed to give up “da booty”
I am sick of his constant sexual demands and sometimes I feel I need a nurse
When the pastor married us, the vows should have been “For better or perverse”
I agree that there should be sex in a marriage, for love is what you make it
He keeps telling me that all I have to do lay there and just “take it”
That doesn’t sound romantic to me at all, and in fact it feels quite “savage”
And now he wants me to make a video with him so my body he can ravage?
I know with a tape of us he can satisfy his needs: I’m no country bumpkin
But this man keeps acting as though we are “married” or somethin’
“Oh, that’s right… We ARE married” so I guess this much is actually true
To satisfy her man they say a wife has got to do what she got to do
When a man loves a woman, he also loves whatever it is she has “down there”
And I guess if I can satisfy him, then he should have no need to look elsewhere
I guess I’ll try harder to satisfy my husband when I’m finished my workday
After all, he ain’t going to last anymore than 60 seconds anyway
So now that we are back together I want this marriage to be fun
But I’m tired, so I’ll just tell him to wake me… when he’s “done”…
“Baby, there’s nothing in the wedding vows that says I have to move too” The Phantom Poet
If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.
Singer Frankie Beverly and Brett Jolly in concert