Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic” A son out of Control)

Dear Brett,

Subject: A son out of control

 

I am a single parent of a teenage son. He was once a respectful, hardworking young man, until he met his girlfriend. Now he lies, cuts class, chews tobacco, refuses to do homework and he has become aggressive. There are indents on my walls from him punching them. He is over 6ft and more than 200 lbs. I had him drug tested and he came out clean. His father is active in his life and has had discussions with him. I am scared to be in my own house because he is the only man around here. His father and I have discussed sending him to a juvenile boot camp, but he’s not really a bad kid. I’ve tried restrictions but none of them have worked. I’m at my wits end about what to do. I can’t in my heart put him out….                                                                                                     

 

                                                                                                                            

 

At this point, your love for him might do him more harm than good. You need to see your son for what he is, and not what you want him to be… If your son can disrespect you like that, then he can also disrespect others in the same manner, and eventually cause (or end up in) a lot of trouble. Respect for authority starts at home, and at this point he doesn’t have any… You said that he is not really a bad kid. If that is the case then I guess there is no real problem, right? Wrong!  Your son is now headed in the wrong direction, and the earlier you stop him, the better. Did you ever consider talking to his girlfriend? Since she is the one who changed him she may also have the power to change him back (not that you should expect it to work for I’m sure she has issues too). When most kids grow up at some early point they tend to think they are grown before their time. This girl obviously influenced him in a negative way, and the more it goes on the bigger the chance that you will lose your son. Hopefully it isn’t too late. If he no longer cares about rules and authority then he will eventually end up with one of two possible fates. You had better hope that he gets jail time as opposed to the OTHER fate. I do agree that putting him out is an extreme option, but not one that I would rule out (Sometimes all it takes is just the “fear” of knowing that you will throw him out to change him). As a last resort (in other words, when all else fails) he needs to see what “rock bottom” is like. “Rock bottom” is when you are at your “lowest” point, and I think that being homeless would certainly classify. Before you get to that point, though, I would talk to police and see if they could send a big muscular officer to the house to “talk” to your son. If an officer can talk to him about what his future is going to be and even take him down to the house of incarceration to show him then that might make a difference in his attitude. I have been to jail before (No, I was not arrested for any crime….I actually played a gig there) and I have seen how bad the conditions are there. It is not pretty at all, and downright scary. Your son needs to see that environment for himself so that he can experience what happens to those people who “don’t” respect authority. Truth be told, this kid REALLY needs some BIG man (someone much bigger than him) to step up to him and give him a “no holds barred, hold back the night, helter skelter, house quake, end of the road, mother of all ass whuppin’s” (but I am not supposed to promote violence, so you didn’t hear me say that). If you have someone take him out to the woods and deliver this monumental “sermon” to him, he will not only respect his mother, but his grandmother, her mother before her, her mother’s manicurist, the pet dog, that bug in the corner and just about everything else under the sun worthy of praise. Sometimes a drastic love calls for drastic measures. He needs to see another side of “somebody”… If it can’t be you then hire someone, but by all means you need to save your son… Here is a great saved poem from the Phantom Poet:

 

 

 

My son found a new girlfriend and now he is out of control

 

I am thinking about bringing in a preacher to exorcise his soul

 

He no longer listens, and he no longer gives respect

 

I need some strong man to threaten to break his fool neck

 

My son is a good kid, but this girl has led him astray

 

I also need some strong woman to come whip HER ass today

 

They both need to be taught a lesson… that much is surely true

 

Come to think of it, I need someone to whip HER MOM’s butt too

 

If she had raised her right then maybe she can “reach her”

 

Now that I think of it, I’d like to have someone come beat up her teacher

 

If the teacher had done her job, then respect she would have had

 

While we’re at it, send me someone to beat down her dad

 

He is also at fault for not doing everything he can

 

I also  need to beat  my son’s father  for not being a man

 

EVERYONE needs an ass whupping…It’s the LEAST we should do

 

and now that I think of it, I failed also, so I need an ass whuppin’ too

 

 

 

                              Why don’t we all just line up over here”… The Phantom Poet

 

Olivia Newton John, Brett Jolly and her musical director Any Sky

 

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