Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“What propels people to lie?”)

Imagine this scenario: A good friend bought a new hat and wants your opinion on it. In your mind that hat is the most atrocious thing you have ever seen. However, this is your friend and you don’t want to hurt his or her feelings. How blunt should you be? If you don’t state “exactly how you feel about the hat” then you would “in some essence be lying.” A lie is something that is not true. If you say “anything encouraging about the hat” then you would not be telling the truth. Under these circumstances a LOT of people would prefer to tell a lie rather than make someone else feel bad. Are you one of those people? What about those other people who misperceive? There are many who actually “believe they are telling the truth when the real fact is they are telling lies and not even aware of it.” Their perceptions of reality have been altered. We depend on our brain to process information, but our brains can often be fooled by what we “think” we are experiencing. Some people believe they see ghosts. Some of us might have seen aliens but are not sure. Everyone’s perceptions are not the same. It has been proven that some folks “hear and see” things differently. Who is to say that anyone else’s reality is more realistic than yours? Lying is something that happens more frequently than you would like to believe. So what propels us to lie? Do we lie to avoid confrontation? Do we lie to convince ourselves? If you manage to live long enough you are bound to encounter someone who has lied to you. I can even take this one step further. A lot of your morals and teachings that you grew up with could be lies as well. When I was brought up I was told that I should do well in school so that I could make a great living when I grow up. However, the fact is that there are “many” people who never went to college and yet still become millionaires. Michael Jackson and Eddie Murphy are prime examples. Does that mean that those values that were taught to me were really lies? I have found that a lot of people who pay money to get their masters degrees end up with a piece of paper that (in most cases) still won’t help them to get a job. Were these people lied to? During the Presidential election you were told that your vote counts. However, if a candidate loses the popular election but still manages to become President then were you lied to? The issue here is not whether or not you are going to be lied to. The real fact is that this “will” happen. The big issue is “whether or not you can actually identify a lie when you hear it.” You have a choice in what you want to believe. Are you willing to disavow everything you have been taught to find the real truth? This would surely alter your world significantly but it might also give you “greater insight.” The very fabric of our existence may have been built on lies that we just cannot recognize. In other words we may be too close to the screen for us to be able to see the whole picture. The choice is that we can continue to believe in what others want us to believe in or we can set out to find our own truth. “OR” maybe this whole article was just a lie to begin with and everything is really true now.  Confused? You should be. See if you can find the lies in your own life. You might be very surprised at what you discover. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Wayne Brady (Host for “Let’s make a deal”) in concert with Brett Jolly on bass

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Really obvious warning signs”)

Last night I performed at some gig in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. The gig went well and the people loved us, but today’s Daily Thought is more about something else. There was a “couple” there that we knew had been established for quite some time. They had gone on trips together and even posted pictures of themselves on Facebook. Last night, however, they were both at the same venue where I was performing and the guy was “very blatantly conversing intimately with some other woman directly in front of his woman.” He didn’t even “try” to hide what he was doing, and by the end of the night sparks flew. His “supposed” woman confronted him “and” the new woman right after the gig. The good thing about this was that the confrontation didn’t get too overly heated (even though the woman was “quite” enraged over it). There were a couple of sharp words and accusations thrown but by the end of the evening all was peaceful. However, the issue here is more about “warning signs.” You see, some people choose to ignore them whenever they happen. That usually ends up being a fatal flaw in any relationship. There is nothing wrong with having conversations with people. Often as musicians we are “expected to reach out to others.” However, in this circumstance the man spent most of the evening sitting with this new woman and their closeness was extremely noticeable. After the “supposed girlfriend” confronted the both of them she found out that they had actually been socializing with each other for well over a week. The new lady allegedly “had no idea” that he was seeing someone else. If your partner can be so “blatant” as to try to get his or her mack on IN PLAIN VIEW of you then that is about the “biggest warning sign” that anyone can get. It is disrespect to the utmost degree, and once that happens it is time to immediately reassess your relationship. Whenever someone wants to end a relationship at least “alert” your partner to it “before” you go messing around with other people. What happened last night was so disrespectful in many ways. Today is a new day and I expect to see all parties at my gig tonight. I do wish the best for them (whatever the best may be at this point). Of course, they can still fix their problems, but hopefully they will  never ignore the “warning signs.” To do so could be disastrous… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Wayne Brady (Host of “Let’s Make a Deal”) and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Population control?”)

Is there an issue with world overcrowding? If not now, will there be at some point? There are only a limited number of resources on this planet and our improved technology has in some ways endangered the earth already (for example, global warming). Studies have stated the world’s population will double in about 50 more years. It has also been stated that 3 billion people on this planet already suffer from malnutrition. With newer technology designed to make life easier this also has the propensity to eliminate jobs. For example, the invention of email has almost made the duties of the post office obsolete. The more we produce, the more our resources are utilized. Can we survive this kind of population increase? Our leaders may not admit this (or even want to admit this) but war is a way of minimizing word overcrowding. If we kill some of your people and you kill some of ours, then the world won’t seem as full. There are also more jobs available with war and it has been known to boost the economy. When it comes to raising a child so much care is needed. When a child doesn’t get the proper care or guidance then there is a chance that child could grow up to be a menace to society, thus increasing the chances that society would have to pay to incarcerate that child should he or she commit a crime. What does this mean for our future? Do we ignore overcrowding? If not then how can we address it? We can talk about the value of life but at what price? If we somehow manage to ease overcrowding will that make life easier for us? Until someone can come up with an apple that somehow “replenishes itself” hunger will continue to be an issue. Hunger on an already overcrowded planet with limited resources will be a major obstacle. How much longer can we go? Population control may stabilize the economy and make our lives simpler and happier, but at what cost? All lives are supposed to be valued, so how do you discuss eliminating lives or controlling levels of production? I’m not sure if there is an answer, but this is a topic that at some point no one may be able to avoid. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“The power of comic books”)

I realize that this Daily Thought topic is way different, and I’m sure that on the surface many people are already shaking their heads at the fact that I am even mentioning this. However, if you just hear me out to the end then maybe this will make some sense. Our young children need to learn how to read. Granted, it would be awesome if they could gravitate to great novels such as “Homer’s Odyssey” or the “Agony and the Ecstasy.” However, most children don’t want to be forced to read things that they don’t necessarily like or consider fun. I believe the greatest way to get our children to learn to read is to provide a way to make reading “fun” for them. While many people grimace about comic books, I would like to point out a couple of things: 1: Comic books increase a child’s desire to “want” to read. If a child likes a comic, the child is in essence educating himself in the process. 2: The pictures in a comic book can actually “help” a child to identify the words that he or she may not be familiar with. This gives comics an advantage over other conventional books to help children identify certain words. 3: Comics can introduce “new words” to a child where he or she would be “glad to look up the definition.” It is one thing to read, but it is another to expand your knowledge of your language. Reading comics can do both for a child. 4: They stir the imagination of the child. Children often have wild imaginations. Comic books will take their imaginations and stir them to newer and higher levels. In recent years, have you ever noticed the popularity of movies about the super heroes kids read about in comic books? That is because people are interested to see how the movie industry can capture the magic of the comic book stories. Often when I go see movies like Spider Man or the Avengers I always look to see if they captured the true essence of the comic book tales. I guess you can tell now that I read comic books a lot when I was a kid. To some extent I will still read them (but no where near as much as I used to). I think comic books helped me tremendously with my school education (because I was a very good reader growing up as a young boy). I am not saying that parents should make their kids read anything that they don’t feel is appropriate. However, when it comes to a child being a great artist, that child needs to have the “will to want to paint or draw.” When it comes to a child being a great musician, that child needs to have a strong “will to want to play an instrument.” When it comes to being a great knowledgeable student, that child needs to have the “will to want to read.” When conventional books don’t excite your children, maybe it is time for you to try comic books. I can’t speak for everyone, but I do know that they made a huge difference for my education. When my teacher in school gave out reading assignments for kids to do book reports, she realized that I was an accomplished reader over the other kids. She actually “assigned me” to do my report on “The Agony and the Ecstasy” because she wanted to challenge me. I accepted that challenge, and I got an “A” on my report. We all know that everyone is different, but if you had a choice between a child reading a comic book or a child not wanting to read anything at all, which would “YOU” choose? Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Entertainer and host of “Lets make a Deal” Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Toxic people”)

I was just talking to someone who had a “toxic family member.” A toxic person is someone who “poisons” your existence with negativity and always wants you to do for him or her, but rarely does anything for you. They only call when they want something, but they always expect you to call them. Toxic people are not necessarily born that way. These mannerisms are taught. You can never convince them that they are wrong. They will only convince themselves that YOU are wrong. How do you deal with a toxic person? The answer to this is fairly simple: You “Don’t.” People can only stress you out if you allow them to do so. Toxic people want you as long as you are beneficial to them. Once you no longer have any value then toxic people will leave you alone. Whenever you come into some money they are the ones who are “guaranteed” to call you and at least “act” like they are your best friend. However, when toxic people are family it can be difficult to fend them off. The answer is in being able to “recognize” that this person is in fact “toxic.” Once you can firmly make that determination then it should be easier to deal with after that. Just about everyone knows someone that is toxic. Unless you like drama your best bet is to simply leave them alone and don’t even answer whenever they call. I think you will find that your life will be a “lot more happier” if you do. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Are we really as smart as we think we are?”)

After thinking about it for a minute, I actually pondered this question, “Just how smart are we… really?” When you think about it, our society has systematically been geared for people to go to school, get good grades, graduate and make a decent living. Yet how many “big named entertainment artists” have actually “followed” this formula to success? Did Jay-Z or Beyonce ever graduate from college? I honestly don’t know the answer to that question, but I do know that they are multi-millionaires whether they attended school or not. What about some of the others like Kanye or Rihanna? Brittney Spears? Will Smith? How many pro athletes only did “one year” of college only to leave early and become instant millionaires (and then never even go back to get their degrees)? LeBron James became a millionaire straight out of high school. We are charged astronomical fees to attend college just so that we can “start off broke” after we graduate and then try to find some way to pay off the “huge” student loan we took (just so we could graduate to make more money in the first place). How much sense does that really make? When it comes to capital punishment, we sentence murderers to “death” just to show them that killing is “wrong.” Yeah, THAT surely shows a high level of intelligence. On the other side, many of us are “Pro Life” when it comes to the sensitive subject of “abortion and killing unborn babies”, and yet those same people “rarely” intervene when it comes to those who are on death row (and about to be executed). I guess that must mean that we are only pro life when it comes to “certain lives.” And what about the babies that “do” actually make it into this world born to parents that are not properly equipped to raise them? Many of these kids grow up in a violent world only to comment violence against someone else whose parents raised him or her properly. The money that we could invest into better training and education seems to be spent more on “prisons.” The disease Ebola kills thousands of people in Africa but we wait until it strikes here in the United States before we actually find a way to “cure it.” On the social side, women will wear makeup, false hair, short tight skirts, push up bras with low cleavage, form fitting dresses, heels and sexy attire and then say later on they want a man to love them “for their minds.” Most men will take a woman out on a date, pay the bill and make sure that he “lets her know frequently how much the bill was” so that he can impress her with his money instead of his “great gentlemanly personality.” When a man frequents a lot of women he is often known as a “stud.” When a woman frequents a lot of men she if often known as a “ho.” Many of us get “married for life” just so we can divorce after 5 years or so. We claim to be more “civilized” than other animals on the planet and yet we kill off more of each other than they do. We go to war to kill people we don’t even know and never met before just because our government doesn’t like their government. In the United States, Republicans and Democrats claim they want the same things for the American Public, but yet none of them can ever agree “on anything.” How smart is that? Many of us actually hate the police… at least until we need them in an emergency. We don’t want people to speed in cars and yet we keep making them capable of doing speeds up to 120 miles per hour. Don’t get me wrong, we managed to receive radio waves and video signals over the air, construct automobiles and planes and even invented the internet. Those are great accomplishments, but in the process we are “killing” our climate with global warming (among other environmental disaster issues). We declare ourselves to be the superior form on life on this planet. Then why are we killing ourselves in this way? Yes, I would love to believe that our “intellect” places us above all other species on this planet. I I just can’t help but ponder that we might not be as intelligent as we think we are sometimes. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Wayne Brady, Kenny Lattimore and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Someone said that ALL men cheat… Is that true?”)

An interesting topic for today: I had heard through a third party that someone actually made a rather “bold” statement, and that statement was “ALL men cheat.” Now the thing that proved to be the most intriguing about this particular statement is the fact that it was actually made “by a man.” While he has a right to his own opinion, does that mean that he should have the right to be considered “correct?” I am sure that there are others who feel this way (and I already know that there are some women out there who support this claim) but are these words being spoken from “personal” experience or just “generalization?” When I examine this statement, my “first” thought would be “Do you actually KNOW all men?” You see, in order to make that statement so inclusive then you would need to at least know the circumstances of all men AND all couples. Next you would have to know the “mentality” of all these men who are currently in relationships. That would seem like a very large and difficult task for anyone to take on. Next, what experience did he have to even “prompt” him to “come up” with this theory? Did he base this on the principle of others or just what HE has personally gone through? Finally, does what he just said reflect more on “others” or just “him?” You see, when you examine his statement carefully, that actually means that “HE” cheats in “his” relationships. After all, if he is indeed a man then  shouldn’t he include “himself” in his own category? I would also love to know his personal “definition” of cheating… Is he talking about physically or emotionally or just with passing thoughts? Anyone can see  another person and find that person attractive, but does that thought constitute cheating emotionally? If I had the opportunity to question this guy there is a “LOT” that I would have asked him. I like to get “in depth” with people who say things like that, and I am sorry that I didn’t have the opportunity to confront this man. For the record, sometimes our thoughts and theories say more about “us” than they do about “others.” While I will not be one to judge this man for what he feels, I can say that your words can work for you just as easily as they can work “against” you. The moral of this story is plain and simple: “Think about what you are going to say BEFORE  you actually say it.” If you don’t know then don’t “pretend” as though you do. As for those people out there who fully support his opinion, I only hope that you take the time to find a couple that will prove you wrong. There are good men out there, but until you get to the point where you can “recognize” them then you will continue to think the way you do. There is a big difference between viewing something with an “open mind” and viewing something with a “hole in your head.” For the sake of being fair to others, let’s try to opt for the former… and a lot “less” of the latter… Thank you for reading my Daily Thought, and as always, I wish the very best for you that life has to offer. 

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Wayne Brady, Kenny Lattimore and Brett Jolly in concert

Kenny_Lattimore,_Wayne_and_Brett[2]

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Can there ever be a day of world peace?)

Mr. Jolly, do you ever think the world will one day be completely at peace, with no wars, no killing and no hatred towards each other? Is it even possible for that to happen, and if so, what would it take to make it happen?

That is a VERY good question. In a world where we have to depend on each other to survive we are often our own worst enemies. We kill for different reasons, different views and different perceptions of each other. The heads of nations will initiate wars with other nations for reasons only they really know and send out the children of mothers and fathers to die for a cause that only they believe in. Many nations will initiate war to show their strengths,  when in reality it only shows their weaknesses. As wonderful as the concept of peace sounds, we have to accept the fact that fighting is just in our nature. We claim to be superior to the other animals on  this planet when many of us are even “more” barbaric and savage. If the world did in fact have one complete day of peace we probably would no longer recognize each other. Here in the states we just recently had an execution that went  horribly  wrong. The inmate who was being put to death was administered drugs to induce sleep first, but during the procedure he grimaced, tried to hold his head up and experienced grueling pain. They finally had to abort the procedure because it was too inhumane but the victim finally died from an apparent heart attack. For us, in order to teach people that they  should not kill, we “kill” them. I don’t know about you, but I find a LOT of fault in that sentiment. I think  the only way the entire world would unite is if we had to face some “other” obstacle or foe that would involve our attention. That is about the best scenario  that I can imagine. Until then, we have to accept the fact that on this  world “fighting is inevitable.” We invade other areas because of “weapons of mass destruction” that were never found and we use force to  annex areas involuntarily for our own personal agendas. The world may never be totally right, but life must go on.  Maybe one day this dream will come true, but until then reality will always be our “slap in the face.” I strongly believe in peace, and I sincerely hope that I will live long enough to actually “see it one day.” Thank you for your topic, and I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Kenny Lattimore, Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Weather Conditions)

“Snow”….snow, and even more snow…. I remember over the past couple of years notable leaders were preaching about the perils that come along with “global warming.” Remember that? From what I heard, the winters would be warmer and our ecological balance would be offset (resulting in all kinds of troubles for the world). From what I had heard there was an issue with the polar ice caps melting and throwing off world climate. Well, I can only say that here in Philadelphia, we are getting hit with the “winter of winters.” We have had so much snow and cold temperatures that we have to be heading close to setting some kind of record. Now even though I was born in March, I am “still” a summer man. I absolutely “love” the warm and even the hot temperatures. I realize that we have to take the bad with the good, and even though the snow has had an economic effect on me as well (whenever gigs get cancelled,  I don’t get paid) I have come to accept the fact that we need the full balance of whatever mother nature provides. That being said, this winter I would just like to say “Help!” We are being hit with so much snow and cold that I wonder if it is “ever” going to stop. The deep part is that this is only the beginning of February and we have already gotten hit “hard.” I can complain about the weather, but the truth of the matter is that I need to accept the fact that life is based on different extremes. We grow hair so that we can eventually cut it. We raise farm animals so that eventually they can be slaughtered. We make as much money as we can so that we can “spend” as much money as we can. To me, that’s “balance.” Yeah, I may not like the snow and the cold, but as long as I am alive to experience it then who am I to complain? We all would love favorable circumstances, but we can never fully appreciate favorable circumstances until we have overcome the strongest of unfavorable challenges. For instance, the number one Football team in the world has every right to feel great about their accomplishments, but how great would that victory feel if their opponents were a bunch of elementary school kids? Life for us all should be the same way. People will tell us that we can’t do this and we can’t do that, but if we prove them wrong then it says more about us than it does them. Whatever life throws your way, be it rain, snow, tornadoes, tsunamis or earthquakes, as long as you are able to survie it then just chalk it up to being blessed. There are many things that can take us out of here in an instant, but yet life goes on. No, I will not pretend to like snow. However, I will accept the fact that this winter has been a monstrous one so far, and from what I have heard more is yet to come. Wherever you are, I wish you favorable conditions and the absolute best that life has to offer. If that is not the case, then I sincerely hope you make the most of whatever you have left… That, should be good enough for us all. Have a great day.

 

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Wayne Brady, Kenny Lattimore and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Anger over mother’s death”)

My mom died when I was in my twenties, I’m much older now but I still want to cry and I get angry a lot. There are many times when I want to be alone. Is this normal; will I ever have a normal life?
 
To “me”… you sound “totally” normal. Life is “full” of things that can effect us “emotionally,” and just because something tragic happened many years ago it doesn’t mean that we can’t still be touched by it today. If you feel as though you should be able to ignore what happened (or even forget that it happened) then you would be living an unreal life. ALL the experiences we have in life combine to make us who and what we are today (and yes, that includes the bad things as well). To view your emotion over your mother as being “NOT normal” would be the same as saying you didn’t love her or even know her (or that she didn’t exist at all). I think you need to accept the fact that this pain may “never truly” go away. If you can come to grips with that revelation then it might make this easier to deal with. On a personal level, my own mother died in 2004 and even though time has helped me deal with it better, I still have to come to grips that I may “never totally” get over it. My mother spent 5 months in a hospital complaining of pain and discomfort she was having, and yet the hospital couldn’t find “anything” wrong, and dismissed her after the 5th month. Then she went to another hospital where they promptly “discovered” she had ovarian cancer and it had already spread. We as a family were angry, disappointed and saddened. Our thoughts raced toward suing the previous hospital and trying to get back at them in whatever way we could. Unfortunately, NONE of that would have saved my mother. When I think of it now, I am upset, but my anger is controlled by the fact that I realize I have the absolute “right” to feel that way, and to “me” that is “perfectly” normal. You are trying to “dismiss” your anger when you really should try “accepting it” instead. As long as you are human you will have all the things that come with humanity (and yes, that includes emotion). There is also nothing wrong with feeling as though you “want to be alone.” EVERYONE doesn’t need to see you cry, and if going off someplace in solitude makes you feel better, then by all means do so. Your mother may be gone, but your love for her is still here. Why “wouldn’t” you be upset? If you find that your emotion is at an uncontrollable stage that might endanger others then it might be wise to see a therapist (or psychiatrist). Suppressing your anger is “not” the same as “dealing with it.” You are NOT some weirdo just because you miss your mother. Instead of trying to “erase” your emotion, “embrace” it instead. It is better to let it all out alone rather than in front of everyone. The way you feel is only a testament to how “strong” your love is for your mother. That is not only natural, but that is “beautiful.” You don’t need to judge yourself so harshly. You have “every” right to be (and feel) human. Good luck to you, and thank you for reaching out to me today.
 
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Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert
 
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