Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

Brett Jolly, We all want to love and be loved, I think. But sometimes people fall out of love. Why?

“Because in some instances they feel they HAVE to.” When the love that you feel for someone turns into “the pain you feel for someone” then it can cause you to literally “fall out of love” with that person. It doesn’t mean that they stop loving that person, but it could be that they no longer love what that person has “become.” Remember that as we all go through life we are continually changing. In most long relationships that person you started out with won’t necessarily be the same person you “end up” with, and when that change becomes unbearable is normally when most people fall “out” of love. Change is not always “physical.” It can be spiritual or mental. For instance, a woman could dress up fashionably to attract a man during the early “dating” stages. Once she finally has her husband then she could develop a tendency to let herself go completely by putting on many extra pounds or by no longer continuing to dress fashionably. On the other side, a man could court his woman with flowers and candy during the early dating stages and yet after marriage he could cease all that activity and talk disrespectfully to her, which could cause that woman to fall out of love with him. Love is not something you “see” but rather something you “feel.” When your feelings for someone change then in essence you could be “falling out of love.” The question then is “what do you do when someone falls out of love with you?” There are two distinct choices: You could fight to regain the love of that person or you can just “let them go.” Fighting for the love of someone only works when he or she “wants” you to fight. Unfortunately, a lot of people fail to realize that you just cannot “make” someone fall in love with you. You may succeed in getting him or her to love you, but that is NOT a guarantee of being “IN” love… When it comes to letting someone go, many of us are selfish by nature and we have problems admitting to ourselves that we are no longer “wanted.” Sometimes loving someone means that you “have” to let him or her go. It might be for his or her own sake, or it might be for yours… but when the love becomes the pain then it develops into a different feel and look. Yes, we all want to love and be loved, but for love there is never a “warranty.” It will always be “as is.” If you have a relationship of “honesty” then that is important, because with honesty you can work around your differences. When you continue to live a lie in the “name of love” then that is normally when the relationship falters. Love can be great, and love can be devastating… but it is rarely “guaranteed.” I hope your day is awesome, and I hope you all feel “jolly” today. Here comes the Phantom Poet to just “ruin” the mood:

When it comes to all the topics today that I could be thinking of
I’d like to know why it is that we sometimes fall out of love?
We’d like for love to last forever, but sometimes things get strange
We never think about the fact that lovers can sometimes change
The man loves his woman’s cute butt or at least that is how it sounds
But that love could turn to pain if she puts on (Oh, about 30 extra pounds)
Or if a woman desired a night of passion, she probably reckoned
That her night of raw passion would have lasted more than just  “one” second
We all go into relationships with the expectation of it being great
But it still couldn’t hurt if we could be offered a guarantee on our mate
“To promise to each day use love terms like baby and honey”
“And promise not to scream and yell over issues like money”
“To live up to all the promises that in the beginning were said”
“And to only kick, bite, and hurt… during passionate sex in bed”
“To deal with the bad times, the hurt and the sorrow”
“But still continue to love each other as though there is no tomorrow”
Yes, we all want to be loved and it is no fun to be alone
So when you love, do so from the heart, because the love you save just might be your own….

“Taking a bow now to thunderous applause”… The Phantom Poet

 

Brett Jolly “back in the day” with Johnny Gill and Bobby Brown