Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought

Mr. Jolly, I have a situation that I would love for you to feature for me. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 8 years. I know he loves me and I love him back. Well, now we are at odds. You see, he asked me to have his baby. There is nothing really wrong with that because I would LOVE to have his baby. The problem is that if I am going to have his baby, I want us to be MARRIED. He told me that he wants me to move in and live with him, but he does NOT want to get married. I think this comes from marital problems his parents experienced. Mr. Jolly, I was brought up old fashioned and I would love to be his (or somebody’s) wife. Do you think I am being too stubborn or selfish?

 

Not at all. In fact, you are more right than HE is. If he cares about the baby that he wants you to have, then why should he want his baby born “out” of wedlock? A marriage involves sacrifice and compromise on BOTH  sides and he needs to consider your needs just like you are considering his. If he loves you well enough to ask you to have his baby then he should love you well enough to MARRY you.  He might want you to move in with him, but there IS a difference. If you are living in his house with him, then you might as WELL be married… I am sure that after 8 years you both should have a strong closeness to each other. From what it sounds like, you BOTH want kids and the both of you would love to live together. You have to let him know that after loving him for 8 years you “DESERVE” to be married. Also, the worst thing he can do is base YOUR circumstances on things his parents went through. If he has some psychological problems with the institution of marriage (believe it or not, this CAN happen), then invite him to go to “counseling. ” Counseling can probably get to the root of his fears and apprehensions and hopefully help him to overcome them.  Many couples go through it, before and even AFTER marriage. If you lived in his house with him long enough you would be considered “common law” married anyway. Now ONE thing you can do to help change his mind is go over baby names with him, but make sure that you give the baby YOUR last name instead of his. Once he hears that you won’t be using HIS name it should trigger “something” rattling around in his head that tells him, “You’d better get married to her, dummy.” Everyone is different and people do have different types of phobias. If his is the concept of getting married then counseling seems like the best way to go. If he loves you like he says he does, then he will attend sessions with you. Don’t sacrifice your morals until you get to know where his head is, because once you get pregnant then he already HAS what he wants. Also, don’t go and get pregnant beforehand thinking that once you do then he will want to marry you on his own. It will help you have better peace of mind if you know everything BEFORE the fact. Above all, don’t let your discussions get heated. It is obvious you both still love each other, and I believe this matter can be resolved with the right intervention. Good luck to you and have a jolly day. To close out this weekend, here is that “Oscar winning” rabbit, the Phantom Poet:

 

If we stay together long enough, I’m sure his baby I will have carried

The only problem is that for me, I’d like to be married

I’d like both of us to be there for the hard times, the love and the laughter

But most of all I’d like for us both to live together happily ever after

I think he has psychological problems from his parents and those problems seem to linger

But he is “really” going to have some problems if I don’t get to see a ring on my finger

His parents had marriage problems and for him it must have been tough

But for me, shacking up in his home just ain’t good enough

I was brought up old fashioned and my family and I don’t want the shame

I want to wear his shirts, his ring AND his last name

“You’d better reconsider my needs if you want me to have your baby”

“And if you are expecting to get lucky tonight, well all I can say is… maybe”

If you want me to enjoy the experience of sex then here is the “thing”

“EVERY” woman will have an orgasm when accompanied by a “RING!”

I will dress sexy each and every day and for you I will wear the best apparel

But if this is going to work then I need to own you… “lock, stock… and barrel”

 

“Yet ANOTHER masterpiece magnificently submitted by the Phantom Poet”

 

Wayne Brady and Brett Jolly in concert (Brett to the upper right behind keyboard)

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