Brett Jolly, I am not an unattractive woman yet I have not had a date in what seems like forever. One of two things happens, I get compliments, stares and smiles (I feel like a doll on display everybody looks at but nobody buys) or I am not believed when I say I don’t have anyone. Why is it men are so afraid to take a chance?
There are men out there who love the challenge of conquering difficult women. There are also other men who get “intimidated” easily. If you are getting compliments, stares and smiles then it is obvious that these men are interested in you. If most men think you are pretty enough to warrant “initiating” a conversation then most of them will do so with the “intentions” of “following through.” Since I cannot see how you handle yourself when a man confronts you, I can only “speculate” as to what might be wrong. Most men don’t change direction like that unless something purposely alters their perceptions. It could be your facial expressions, your mannerisms or it could be something in the “way” that you are responding back to them, but I would think that there might possibly be something you are “unknowingly” doing to give them a false impression. It is even quite possible that you are making yourself “too easy” a target for men. The real trick in introductions is in showing “value.” The man has to feel as though you are a great treasure. If you try too hard, then men will detect that and it might turn them off. However, if you make yourself “too difficult” it could have the same effect. For women, I always think the best way to get a man is to smile and let him initiate and dominate most of the conversation (All he is going to do is talk about himself anyway). While he is doing his thing, you can make mental assessments of what kind of man he is. Instead of telling a man that you don’t have anyone it might be better to respond by asking, “Why, are you applying for the position?” Sometimes when you tell a man that you don’t have anyone they tend to think that you are not good enough to get a man. The truth of the matter is that whether you have a man or not, most men will try to come after you anyway. Lastly, you need to exhibit a care-free attitude. If a man doesn’t have the balls to try to get to know you then he is not worth your time anyway. When meeting someone new, let the man do most of the talking and make it seem like you are judging him, rather then him judging you. He may be the initiator, but you have the last word. Finally, when he asks for your number (and he WILL ask for your number) take your time before giving it to him. An easy “conquest” may satisfy the man’s ego, but it won’t guarantee that he will call you later. The right man is out there for you, but first you will have to go through a bunch of “milk duds” before you find him (or he finds you). Continue to handle yourself appropriately and be patient. Remember, the object of the game is NOT to find a man, but rather to find the “RIGHT” man… When he comes along, you will know. Good luck to you and here is the Phantom Poet to take us through the day.
When it comes to getting a date I try to use my wits and be clever
But for some reason it seems as though I have not had a date like forever
Just like anyone else, I’d like to engage in a little bit of romance
But I can’t figure out why men are afraid to take the chance
I get stares, compliments and smiles from plenty of guys
But I feel like the department store doll that no one buys
I’m not unattractive, I’m classy and my great personality exudes
So just what the hell is it that’s wrong with all these dudes?
I dress great, I bathe, but this I need to mention
I won’t mind clubbing you with a bat to get your attention
In your daze of unconsciousness we can even have a great discussion
And you can tell me all the things you can still remember through your concussion
And we can live together in harmony where each morning you wake to my voice
After I chain you up in my basement where you won’t really have a choice
Where you can confess your love for me, and I know it will be the truth
Because no one will hear your screams down here, because my basement’s “soundproof”
I’ll feed you, but I won’t unchain you so you will never have to wonder
And you and I can enjoy the rest of our lives living “happily ever under”
“Thank you for your thunderous applause”… the Phantom Poet
Brett Jolly in “heavy” meditation