Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (From Monday through Sunday)

Brett, I have been married for over 20 years but now my husband and I are getting a divorce. To make matters worse I have a very severe illness, which makes it important for me to not be by myself a lot. My husband and I are still friends, and he still comes to check up on me twice each week, but now he has another female in his life to care for. In fact, often when he is over my house he will call her on the phone and say sweet things to her in front of me. It is tough for me to hear him say those things to her. We plan to sell this house soon and I will go live someplace else with my daughter. My problem is that after 20 years of living with him I don’t know how to function living on my own. I am scared and depressed over my situation. Is there anyway you can help me?





There will always be some uncertainty when it comes to a new change in lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be a positive thing for you. 20 years of marriage can have a great effect on anyone, but now is the time to find some new happiness in your life. You can use your illness as an excuse to be miserable or you can go enjoy a whole new beginning. First you need to come to the realization that your husband is NO LONGER going to be your husband, hence there really is no more need for him to come visit you. As long as you continue to see him, it may be helpful in some ways but psychologically and spiritually damaging in others. For you to enjoy a new life, you need to cut ties to the things that were making you unhappy, and if the sight of him is causing you stress, then you need to alleviate that stress by telling him to enjoy his new life with his new love and to “stop” coming by to see you. The next thing you need to do is alter something in your life. It could be something major or minor, but “some” change is needed. You can change your hairstyle, buy a new dress, lose weight or even change your radio station, but in order to move on you need to change “something.” Lastly, you need to start doing things to keep yourself busy. As long as you have nothing to do then you will continue to dwell and reflect on your past relationship and therefore get more depressed from it. Remember that no matter how much you look over your shoulder at your past that view “never changes.” As for your illness, it can impede you but it doesn’t have to STOP you. As long as you still draw breath then there is hope for you to make something of your life. You don’t need pity, sorrow or condolences… You only need to realize your OWN self value…You need to start looking forward to this new change in your life and let everybody know that you are not stepping down, but rather stepping “up.” Now go out and make the most of this very “first” day… of the “rest” of your life… In fact, while you are at it, you can also enjoy this lyrical verse from the “newly found” Phantom Poet:





When it comes to living on your own, just know that there is always hope


Even though you no longer have your husband, you can still find ways to cope


So stop viewing this as a loss, and start looking at this like you’re winning


Because for you this shouldn’t be perceived as the end, but rather a new beginning


Now is the time to do other things you might like, like vacationing or travel


Because if you just sit around focusing on your ex, then your life could unravel


To start a new life you want to be physically as well as mentally sound


So it might be best to tell your husband that you no longer want him around


You are still a great looking woman and yes, you are still very much in your prime


And there is no longer any need to have a 20 year ex around wasting your time


Because when relationships end you can keep reflecting until your head gets dizzy


But the truth of the matter is that you need to socialize, get out more and get busy


Your life isn’t over by any means, and you don’t need to sit there like a bump on a log


Now is the time to change something in your life, like get a new hairstyle or buy a dog


You don’t have to feel depressed; you can exercise, get a new hairstyle or lose weight


Do ANYTHING that will make you feel better, exuberant and GREAT


Even though you have an illness, you should never ever let that prevent


You from enjoying your life to the fullest, so just go out and represent


And that way the very next time your ex sees you, he’ll see just how great you appear


And as you walk away you can let him get a good look and your new firm shapely “rear”


And he will be amazed at how good you look, his eyes will bulge and his jaw will fall


And for letting you go, he will repeatedly beat his forehead… against the wall…


And as you walk away to a roomful of compliments, you’ll try your best to stop blushin’


As for your ex husband, he will still continue to bang his head, until he gets a concussion





“Hey, it looks as though HE is the sick one now”… The Phantom Poet


Brett Jolly in concert with the Stylistics (Brett in background with red bass guitar)