I had an interesting conversation with someone just last week. The topic went as follows: “When a man manages to have sexual relations with many females he is often admired for his prowess, and yet when a woman takes on many sexual partners she is often referred to with a name that is a “LOT” less flattering. Why is there a double standard? Why are women referred to as “ho’s” when there are significantly larger numbers of men “ho-ing” out there? Is this fair? When you think about it, for a woman to know a man well enough she needs to form a relationship with that man and learn him in different ways (most times that will include sexually as well). If the relationship doesn’t work out and she moves on to form another one with some other man, then would it be right to label her with the reputation of someone who goes from one man to another? If a man goes from relationship to relationship he may get some criticism, but nowhere near as much as a woman would get for doing the same thing. When it comes to any relationship it should involve the concept of getting to know each other better and seeing if you can coexist together. In order to do that you have to “test the waters” to see if there is some chemistry there. Unfortunately, men have the tendency to “categorize” women. If the woman is too moral in her ways then she can often be called terms like “frigid” or “the nun.” If she is too loose then she can be labeled that “other” name. If she is needy she will be referred to as a “gold digger” and if she is too independent then she might be referred to as “mannish” or “controlling.” Should a woman settle for less just so that she can better conform to the stereotype of “being a submissive woman?” While we are at it, why are a lot of men hesitant when it comes to “independent” women? Why are some men “turned off” when a woman makes more money? If a woman is “handling her business” then I just can’t imagine why a man would have any problems with that. I always say that behind “every” successful man there is a woman who helped “make” him that way. Why are men intimidated by women who only want to see the best happen for their men? I am not sure of how many men readers I have out there, but I will say this: The value of a woman is NOT in what you try to make her out to be. The value of a woman has to do with who and what she is… A woman that cares will look out for your interests. She will offer support. She will tell you when she thinks you are wrong and she will protect you from others who don’t have your interests at heart. In other words, she will be your “Michelle Obama.” Sex can be gotten anywhere, but love and caring are 2 unique traits that “can’t be replaced. If your woman looks out for you or wants to see the best for you, then you need to “hold on” to that woman and STOP being afraid of what she has to offer. Through the caring of that woman you will reach heights that you never realized you could reach. Also, we “really” need to stop “labeling” our women. We need them in order to survive and to “cheapen them” only means that we are “cheapening ourselves.” This is the day AFTER Valentines day, but the love must “always” go on…. Hug your woman today, and everyday, because truth be told?… She “deserves” it….
Brett Jolly performing in concert with the Miracles (formerly of Smokey Robinson Fame)
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