I received a message from Julie in regards to marriage:
It’s no secret that couples marry for various reasons. Some marry because they’re in love. Others, because they believe their unity will offer financial security. Some couples marry for the sake of the unplanned child they created, or to bring families together.
Nevertheless, what are your thoughts about the comment below, Brett?
“Couples who have created a relationship vision for themselves know where they’re going as they’ve planned it together. They get joy out of reaching for their goals as a team and are less likely to be derailed by surprises down the line.”
I love this statement, and I do believe strongly in it. Relationships should involve much more than just “loving” each other. Relationships should be about more than just “combining incomes or uniting families.” Relationships should incorporate a form of “teamwork” to overcome the obstacles that can often derail other relationships. If a relationship is considered “perfect” then it shouldn’t be considered “real” for no one person is perfect (Hence, no two people are perfect either). The real essence of a good relationship is when the couple work to “overcome” the barriers that can often “capsize” love. An unplanned child can put a couple in a precarious situation, because it “forces’ them to deal with obstacles before they have the opportunity to actually “plan” for it. We all know that mistakes happen, but when children come into the mix it will alter your lives significantly. Of course, a “planned” child will fit in with this concept, because the couple prepared for it together (and raising that child was designated as part of the overall goals). Everyone in life should have “goals.” Once we conquer one goal then it is time to set another and then another. We should keep on setting and conquering goals until we have finally ended world hunger. When a couple unites their goals together it provides purpose and it strengthens the bond between them. It then becomes a faction where it is no longer about “me” but rather about “us.” Pre-planned relationships already have an advantage because the couple has thought out most things and they are better prepared for any new obstacles that may come that way. Love is an awesome thing, but if you think that love alone will guarantee a great relationship then you are seriously misguided. You can love your mate to death but it doesn’t mean that you can co-exist together as a cohesive unit. As I have always said, “communication” is always the key to building and keeping a relationship together. You recognize each other’s strengths and weaknesses and you combine your worlds to watch each other’s back… A real relationship is knowledge as well as direction. Thank you for submitting this topic (It is a really good one) and I hope it will help open eyes to others who read it. Thank you again and hope you have a truly “jolly” day today, and here is that mythical legendary man of mixed meanings, the Phantom Poet:
When you form a relationship you should take it to high levels and above
But do you think a real relationship could exist on just the principles of love?
Everyone wants “happily ever after” and for many this is a great dream
But the true test of love is whether you both can work together as a team
No one person is perfect so no couple is perfect either so to alleviate any doubt
The best lover is not the one you can live with, but the one you can’t live without
The true test in determining whether or not your mate is a great lover
Is not in sex, but rather in how well you both know each other
It should not be about sexual history or experience with multiple lovers
You should know BEFORE you go to bed that he/she sleeps with no covers
And before you lose that loving feeling and the novelty is gone
You should know beforehand that he/she likes to sleep with the TV on
You need to know if he is the type of gentleman that will always open doors
And if you expect a good night’s sleep, then you need to know if he “snores”
Is his attitude rude in the morning or is his sarcasm abrupt?
Does he even remember most times not to leave the toilet seat up?
Can he handle his own finances or does he need help from me?
When he passes gas at night, does it smell like World War Three?
When you want to love someone and you are smitten with adulation
To make it all work right you need to take these things into consideration
Then you can discover for yourself exactly what your relationship is made of
And you can “love like you know”, because then you’ll “know how to love”
“And the award goes to (drum roll, please)” The Phantom Poet
If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought page, you can email me directly at Brettjolly@aol.com.
Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly in concert at the Radio One 25th Anniversary