Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“The art of procrastination”)

Yesterday I talked with a female vocalist about her career. I practically had this “same” conversation with her over the past 6 or 7 years. You see, this lady has good talent, but each time I mentioned to her that she needed to put a project together she continually “found excuses to not do anything.” Now she is close to 50 years of age and once again she is saying that she is “serious” about it. I would never tell anyone that it is “too late to achieve their dreams” but in this case I had to tell her that she doesn’t have too much time left. In all fairness she has experienced great trauma in her life. She had a life altering event happen to her years ago and that can be enough to stifle anyone’s desire to sing. However, this woman’s procrastination had been enduring way before that stage of her life, and each time she just kept coming up with more excuses to not move forward. This time I could tell that she was upset, and I just told her that she needed to take the emotion she was feeling and put it into song lyrics. Some of the world’s greatest songs were written through the pain of personal experience. I am a firm believer in “re-channeling energy.” I think that if you are experiencing bad times that you should take your frustration and make something positive out of it. It may never alleviate the hurt and pain you are feeling but it can help you to “redirect it.” This time it may have worked. She sent me an email of all the things she was feeling (and while we still have a long ways to go towards making  a song this was at least a great start). We will see if this can go any further. The moral of this story is  that whenever we have God given talent we should never be afraid  of being successful. To me the word potential is defined as “something that has not yet been reached.” In order to realize your full potential you need to strive for it. The worst that can happen is that you fail to reach the level  you want. However, you can also find joy in “seeing just how far you can go.” There are many gifted people in this world just sitting back being “stagnant.” The true quality of your life depends heavily on what you invest into it. When you say things like “I can’t” you are already limiting yourself from being successful. Don’t be afraid to find out where you stand. You just might be surprised at your own capabilities… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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The Miracles with Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“The significance of Martin Luther King day”)

Today is the 30th anniversary of the Martin Luther King holiday, and to fully understand what this signifies we need to look at the history of how it “actually managed to even become” a holiday. You see, originally many people didn’t want to make a holiday for this man, and to me that shows the need for this man to be honored even more. When it comes to judging the greatness of a man, I always say that a man is great if he manages to “change the way people think.” Before King, Black people had to use different water fountains and ride in the rear of buses. they were called names such as “nigger” and often discriminated against simply because of the color of their skin. Because of King, that era has been changed radically, but even though the man is gone his work is “still unfinished.” If it were not for Martin Luther King, Barack Obama would “never” have become President of the United States. However, once Obama took the White House he was still subjected to a “lot” of reactions that could easily have been considered racist in nature. Today, equality is at a high peak, because now everyone can hold high position jobs, and we don’t have to be separated because of the color of our skin anymore. Is discrimination gone? Not by any means (and it will probably never be fully eliminated from our lives) but at least now there is much more “opportunity for everyone.” Here is a post for Martin Luther King  day below:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mlk-day-30th-anniversary_569c5f22e4b0778f46f9c81e

Sometimes we hate to confront our past and unfortunately King Day makes us relive just how bad those times were. It is not designed to make us feel bad about the past, but rather to help us focus more on making a better future. No one can blink his or her eyes and erase those tumultuous times, but we can use the memories of those moments to make our lives even better. My father, Elton Jolly, was very good friends with Martin Luther King, and I always ask him for stories about his involvement in the legacy. You can Google facts about this man and come to your own conclusions. No one is perfect, even though we all should still strive for perfection. This is not about the Black race, the White race, the Red race of the Yellow race… This is all about the “human” race. With that in mind, I sincerely hope you celebrate “and enjoy” this Martin Luther King Holiday. After all, it is the “thought” that truly counts… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always, I wish you the very best that life has to offer…

The Miracles and Brett Jolly performing in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Married but had a romantic fling”)

Mr. Jolly. I have met up with a man who is just so sweet to me. He is there for me emotionally, and he listens to my problems. He is willing to sacrifice all for me. The other day we planned a getaway and the moment was great. I think we are finding out that we are great for each other. The only issue is that I am already married with children. The emotion has been gone from my marriage for a long time and it seems that we just cannot get it back. I realize that what I/we did was wrong, so I don’t need a chastising speech. We both had needs and we managed to satisfy them with each other. Aside from telling me how wrong we were from the religious standpoint, what else would you have to say about what we did?

Well, the first thing I would like to know is how does your “husband” feel about your marriage? Does he feel the same way as you do, and have the both of you tried counseling to mend your differences? With even the “greatest” of marriages the novelty can sometimes start to “wear out.” As we grow, we change, and sometimes we can feel stagnant with love (This can apply to women as well as men). Your marriage is a covenant under God, and in essence is a contract to commit to HIM. Of course, this is from the religious aspect (and I know you asked me not to go there). Let’s just say we ALL are human and we have human needs and human weaknesses. EVERYONE is susceptible to temptation (even though it doesn’t mean that we always have to give in to it). Right now what’s done is done. You have already crossed the line and you had a human moment. The question now is, “What do you plan to do from here?” Do you plan to stay with your husband or do you plan to leave him? Do you intend on telling him what happened or will you continue while trying to hide it? In one way or another, you will still need to deal with the issues involving your marriage. Do you want to complicate it even more by throwing an affair up in the mix? From the real standpoint, you need to determine what it is that YOU actually want. It would not be fair for you and your husband to both live a lie. At some point he deserves to know the truth and so do you. If he has lost the emotion in your marriage, then he also needs to come clean with you. The truth will either make you both stronger, or it will set you both free, but the truth needs to be said. You know that I just cannot tell you that what you did was right, because we all know it wasn’t. However, I “can” tell you to search deep within yourself and find the person that “wants” to make this right. There is no way you can avoid hurting someone’s feelings in this process, so you need to just get it over with. Good luck to you, and I wish the best for all in this situation.

 

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The Miracles and Brett Jolly performing in concert

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (spying on the rest of the world… Is it justified?)

Mr. Jolly, do you think the United States and NSA were justified in spying on it’s own people as well as the rest of the world? It has been alleged that they even spied on their own allies. Do you think it is a violation of rights or do you think what they did was necessary?

Being a nation that invades privacy is not the image that we should want to convey to others, but in this case we need to look deeper than the surface. When you think about it, is there really any privacy anywhere? In most big cities, cameras are everywhere. Traffic lights and toll booths record you when you ride through them, and there are satellites in space. I have seen people on computer punch up a house address and the next thing you know it will show a “live” picture of the front of your house. There are gadgets that can spy on your conversations from right outside the house. There are even sites online that when you type in a person’s name it will give you all types of pertinent information including where he or she lives. When I first heard about the Unites States spying on telephone conversations and internet activity, I have to admit that I was not surprised at all. I was, however, shocked that “other” people were shocked over it. When I heard stories of terrorists coming into the country and being thwarted or caught as soon as they entered, I immediately believed that the “only” way the government could have known about this activity was if they “spied” on them. How else could they have known? Now comes the next question: “Is spying necessary?” If it saves lives, then by all means “spy on.” There are a lot of evil people in the world with evil intentions who are willing to risk their own lives just to take the lives of innocent people and make a statement. We can wait until they actually “commit” the evil deed or we can thwart them before innocent lives are lost. When you have an advantage over your enemy you are supposed to use it. Spying may not be considered morally or even “legally” right, but if it protects us then I honestly don’t care. To be honest, I think that “other” nations should do the same in  their “own” best interests (If they are not doing so already). Of course, now that spying has been brought out into the open then now terrorists will “step up their game” to “find new ways” to commit random acts of violence. So to answer your question, I do believe that spying is a “necessary evil” (even though I don’t believe that spying on our own allies is helpful, especially now that they have found out about it). In essence the cat has been let “out of the bag” and the world now knows our activity. Let’s admit our guilt and “move on.” We still live in a world that needs to be protected “from itself.” Let’s do all we can to ensure our own safety. I hope your world is safe and comfortable today and please have a great one.

 

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The Miracles and Brett Jolly in concert

 

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: George Zimmerman trial)

Okay, I know that everyone has already chimed in on the Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman issue. For those of you who haven’t heard by now, Zimmerman was found “innocent” of all charges for murdering Trayvon and was subsequently “set free.” People are expressing their views, so today I figured I would take my turn. However, I’d like to examine the things that most others “don’t focus” on. First, with all the killings that happen on a “daily” basis in most urban cities of the United States, why did “this” particular case garnish “so” much publicity? I will give you a hint by tossing out some other names: OJ Simpson, Kobe Bryant and Tiger Woods. Do any of these names ring a bell? Kobe was accused of raping some woman. OJ was accused of murdering some woman. Tiger was accused of “cheating” on his woman, and yet for “some” reason the media “blew” these stories up “bigger” than the “bombings of Pearl Harbor.” Just in case these clues were not sufficient enough I will try to help you out even more. These athletes were “African American, famous and affluent.” The women in each of these cases were “White.” Whether you want to admit it or not, the fact of the matter is that “RACE SELLS.” When there is something immoral happening between a couple of 2 different races (ESPECIALLY between Blacks and Whites) it ALWAYS causes some kind of “stir” in the public eye. The media “blasts” these stories because we “love” and “support” this stuff. Our jail cells are “filled” with inmates who “stalked, confronted and murdered” people just like Zimmerman did. So why were they locked up while Zimmerman was set free, and why were their cases not as “highly publicized?” Because we CHOOSE the stories we want to hear. For us, anything “racial” brings out “emotion” within us, and that is why these stories become so popular. Even though a lot of people are doing so, I refuse to blame the “jury.” ANY jury is supposed to weigh the facts presented to them, and if one particular lawyer is better than the other then in most cases the results favor the “better” lawyer. Just like most Whites claimed with OJ, African Americans are now claiming that this perpetrator “got away with murder.” From my “own” perspective, I just “cannot” say that Trayvon’s killing was “racially motivated.” Even though he was deemed “suspicious” by Zimmerman that does NOT mean that his suspicions were “racially based.” The “racial” entity came from “us” because most African Americans have felt a “double standard” when it comes to justice in the system. When OJ was found innocent of murdering his wife, African Americans weren’t applauding because they believed he was innocent. They applauded because for once a minority actually “beat” the system. In this circumstance it appears that no one really wants to focus on the fact that Zimmerman is “part Hispanic” because doing so would only take some of the “edge” off the issue of “race.” It’s “no fun” if the 2 participants are “BOTH” minorities. A lot of people hate him because he appears “fat” and with his “light coloring” he also “appears White.” It’s unfortunate, but he just “looks” like someone you would “hate” even though most of us don’t know him personally. Another issue is our court system. Just because someone is found “not guilty” does not mean that they are “innocent.” It just means that they have not been “proven” guilty. There “is” a difference. What I don’t understand in this case is “why” wasn’t the “Stand your ground” defense applied to Trayvon? If he was being approached by some stranger with a loaded gun, then shouldn’t he have been allowed the right to “defend” himself? If he attacked Zimmerman, then according to Florida’s law, he should have had “every right” to do so out of “imminent fear.” Instead, the self defense clause was applied to Zimmerman, whose lawyers “expertly” used it to set him free. Whether we want to admit it or not, justice was applied according to Florida’s court system.  It is sad when the issue of “race” makes a case “bigger” than what it should be, but as long as we continue to support racial incidents then they will “always” come to the forefront. The media can only “sell” it if we continue to “buy” it. In the meantime, other situations like this will arise with no one “giving a damn” about it because it isn’t as “racially charged.” As much as we talk about how unfair racial relations are, we often tend to be the “biggest” perpetrators of it. God knows, God hears, and God answers… In the end, the verdict will come from a “much higher” authority than “you or me.” As always, I welcome any and all opposing points of view. Thank you, and have a great day.

 

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The Miracles and Brett Jolly performing in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: A “texting” relationship?)

So, he came in to see his professor last monday and we were making eye contact – smiling, waving, etc.  he gives me the “can i call you?” hand motion from the stairwell facing my office.  i say “do you have a name?”.  he walks toward the office door and i meet him there because my boss had his daughter in his office next door.  otherwise, i would have made him come sit.  we chatted.  i asked him what he was doing here.  said he was talking to his professor about a job interview.  asked for my number.  i obliged.  he texted me immediately.  a lot of sweet talk on his part – he wants to chill with me, kiss me, etc.  all of which i met with “you don’t even know me.  you might not want to kiss me.” or “you have to date me first.  we talk on the phone.  he tells me he’s 29 last name is al—– and his mother is living with him until he relocates for his dream job.  he asked to meet up with me a couple times after 9pm. i  say no.  he says he’ll wait until our date, which was supposed to be last saturday.  friday we were talking on the phone and he says he’ll call me back in 20 minutes.  he doesn’t text until 2pm the next day to say “hey”.  i say “hey.  that was a long 20 minutes”  “oh, last night.  i had to do something” he says.  then he says he has to tell me something.  he has to work (so 6pm dinner is out).  i told him it wasn’t cool that he waited until 3 hours before to cancel.  says he just found out the night before (all the more reason to tell me ahead of time).  i tell him he can redeem himself by meeting me at a bday party i’m going to.  he texts back 4 hours later (after i’ve asked my girlfriend to go instead because of the neighborhood) to ask what to wear.  i tell him i move fast, figured he wasn’t interested and was on my way to the party.  he says to call him when i get there.  i say that doesn’t make any sense since the music will be loud.  he says ok so i figure he’s done.  i get a text yesterday saying “hey.  how you doing”.  i say “if you really want to know you’ll call to find out”  he calls.  we talk for a while.  he says that’s the second time i said to call instead of text and it made him think that i thought he had somebody else or he was married, neither of which are true according to him and i can call him any time. he says i ask a lot of questions and i should tell him about myself.  i tell him a little bit but don’t go into details about my past except to say i was married once, didn’t work out, we were religious at the time but reached a point where i wasn’t willing to give any more and he’d have to come my way but he didn’t so went our separate ways.  Now he’s re-married and has a young son.  he tries to tell me he’s not one to judge and i can tell him about my past.  i say no, because men say that but then they through it back in your face in the heat of arguments and i am not setting myself up for that.  no details.  we make plans to catch a movie on friday.  told him i’d meet him there.  says he’ll make sure i get home safe.  i said “you keep trying to come over to my place.  i’ll be fine”  he suggests we cook dinner.  i say maybe later not now.  we barely know each other.  he says okay and that he was only kidding before about kissing me and maybe it was a little too fast.  he’s had several long term relationships but never dated anyone he didn’t already know first and it’s been a while.  he doesn’t play games, etc.  then my girfriend at work looks him up to see what his deal is and our records show that he’s 27, lives in philly and his last name is something different like holguin.  so i text him that i’m wondering if he’s younger than 29 and if al—– is his middle name instead of his last name.  “why so many questions” he asks.  “a girl has to ask questions” i say.  “but i think is a little too much, i already told you” he says.  I say “ok” and that is all for now.

There are “several” red flags with this exchange. First, for someone who claimed he wanted to “chill with” you and kiss you, he has a very carefree way of showing it. When you gave him the opportunity to call you back in 20 minutes, I just can’t see how mathematically that added up to 2:00 PM the next day. Also, if he was truly interested in making up for his mistake, I can’t see how he could be perceived as “credible” when reaching out through a “text.” Also, his response of saying “I had something to do” only means that he didn’t deem you “worthy” enough to even give you a “decent” explanation (To me, that is a BIG red flag). In other words, he just “started off” on the wrong foot with you and feels that he can just “dismiss it” with you. Also, if he knew the night before that he would not be able to make dinner plans with you then it would have been “common courtesy” to let you know in a “timely” manner (instead of letting you know 3 hours before the date). The main situation here is that “men” who value you will take plans “seriously” and it is obvious that this man feels he can just tell you “anything.” A man can only get away with what a woman “allows” him to get away with. If he is “starting off” lying and nonchalant then I promise you things won’t get better from here. The part that is amazing about this situation is that “he” is the one who brings up suspicion by saying that your questions made him think that you thought he had somebody or he was married. You didn’t say this, but “HE” did… The truth of the matter is that it is NOT your questions that raise the doubt, but rather his own “actions.” He seems to have no problem letting his “texts” represent his conversations with you. While sending texts seems to be the “new era” of conversation it will never allow you to get to know someone more “intimately.” For a man who says he doesn’t “play games” he has surely indulged in quite a few so far.  The one thing about sending “texts” is that you can say anything you want without someone being able to read the “emotion” in your voice. Anybody can say “anything” but not everyone can be “sincere” with the words they say. Since he wants to rely on his texts so much then let him continue to do so as much as he wants, but he should not be allowed to get any closer to you until you get more to know “more” about him (and for that, a text just WON’T do it). One thing he said that bothers me a lot is the statement that “he’s had several long term relationships but never dated anyone he didn’t already know first.” How can you get to know someone “before” you actually date them? Isn’t that the purpose of what dating is for? I cannot tell you how to proceed with this man (because if you like him, then you like him) but I “can” tell you that any relationship that “starts off with a lie will more than likely be “built” with lies throughout. In order for him to value you, you must first make sure to “value yourself.” Don’t settle for less than what you deserve from this man. If he cannot measure up to your standards, then let him know that he is NOT “the one.”… Better yet… “Text” him… See if he calls you “then.” Here is the Phantom Poet with an evil grin on his face:

A good interchange, time together and great conversation is what a good date reflects
but you won’t be able to accomplish much of that if all you seem to do is send texts
For a good relationship to develop, both parties need to at least be on the same page
What chance can this possibly have if the man is already lying about his age?
When this man first looked at me, all over my body his eyes seemed to roam
He texts that he wants to chill with me, kiss me, and visit me in my home
He texted me all these wonderful things he’d like to do but we just met
How can he want all of this when he doesn’t even know me yet?
He sent a text saying he wants to be with me, but I can’t seem to get a phone call
And when he misses the date time, he never seems to have a good reason at all
I think I know how to handle this, and to him this is what I plan to tell,
I will let him know that I am ready for him, and we can go to a hotel
He said that he is ready for me as well, and all he needs now is the hotel location
I told him that I will let him know through a text and give him all pertinent information
When the time comes I am at the hotel and I am ready for what we are about to do
So I send him a text saying “I’m here, and now it’s all up to you, boo”
He texts me back saying “Where are you? I am anxious for a night of great sex”
I sent a message saying “I am already here, so now let’s do this through a text”
He texted saying “but how can we get to know each other if I am not even there?”
I said, “You are exactly right, because when it comes to intimacy a text can’t even compare”
“Hopefully now you will understand that if a great relationship is meant to be
Then you had better “up” your skills and you had better start to CALL me
Because your OWN actions will determine just how this relationship goes
And just know that every time you lie? A woman “always” knows…
So when you now tell me that us texting our love tonight will just not do you
I will let you know that you are absolutely right, but the answer I will text to you…

“I think roaming charges are about to occur here” The Phantom Poet

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Should I give in to proposal?”)

Subject: Should I give in to him?
 
I am 37; never married, and have never even dated much. I am quiet, shy, overweight and plain. I have been seeing a man who is 42 years old, and who has also never been married. He has proposed, but I haven’t given him an answer because I don’t think I really love him. He is very good to me and treats me like a queen, but there is absolutely no spark. My question is: Do I marry him and “settle,” just to be married, or do I live the rest of my life alone? Is it better to take this chance and marry my best friend, or should I wait for a Prince Charming who might never arrive?

I’ve got news for you: If you don’t “think” you really love him, then chances are GREAT that you “don’t “ love him. When it comes to getting married, there should be no such thing as “settle” for second best (especially when a “first best” doesn’t even exist). You should never marry someone just for the “sake” of getting married… You marry someone because you LOVE him or her and you expect to be loved back. Would you want someone to marry you if they really didn’t love you? The most positive thing you have said is that this man is your best friend. While that may be a true blessing to have, it doesn’t mean that you should marry him just to keep his friendship. You certainly don’t give yourself very high ratings when describing yourself. It sounds more to me like you are setting yourself up for failure because you don’t believe that you are a “good catch”. If he loves you, then to HIM you ARE a good catch (and to him that is ALL that matters, so stop putting yourself down). You are currently with this man, and you obviously have known from the beginning that he is interested in you, and yet you say that there is absolutely no “spark”. If there is no spark, then what is it about him that propelled you to enter into a relationship with him in the first place? Was it just curiosity or did you actually have some feelings for him? If you are still in a relationship with him, then there must be SOME kind of feelings there. You described yourself as “Shy, overweight and plain”, and yet to this man you are probably the most beautiful thing he has ever come across. Many couples have married based on factors other than “love”. Many marriages have failed, too… A new husband is like buying a new car…. You don’t need to buy it in order to envision what it is like to ride in it. If you don’t love this man and don’t want to be with this man, then don’t waste his time. However, if he makes you feel good and treats you like a queen, and you LOVE that kind of treatment, then take the steps necessary to enrich your life with him. The one thing I do suggest for you is to tell him that you need a little more “time”. Time will do well for him, and for you, too, to see if you guys are really compatible for each other. Plus time CAN make you “fall in love” with someone special. Don’t rush your life into a stage that you are not ready for. You are more than entitled to ‘”wait” for happiness. When you go into a marriage with “doubts” then you are only setting yourself up for an insecure relationship. Take your time, and know for sure BEFORE you consider getting married… Now it is time for a sure revelation from the Phantom Poet:

I’m quiet, shy overweight and somewhat plain

At least one man wants to marry me, so I won’t complain

We enjoy each others company, and go for walks in the park

But when it comes to me loving him, there really is no spark

He asked me to marry him, but this news is not alarming

Should I accept his offer or wait for my Prince Charming?

I believe that he is the best man I will ever find

And it ain’t as though I got anyone else in mind

Let’s face it, I’m plain, and I am woman enough to admit it

He is the only one who finds me attractive enough to even want to “hit it”

With this one man it could very well be “now or never”

I could buy a dog and batteries, but that is a whole other endeavor

He could be the ONLY man I’ll ever be able to consider as a mate

And without him, my best option might be to “master-buy things”

Okay, when it comes to love, I may not be as smitten as I should be

But at least I know that I’ve got a man who truly loves me

I can wait for a better man, but I have no one else prepared

When the truth of the matter is that I am really just “scared”

I think I’m just plain and ordinary, and just a little shy

But God said “You’re beautiful” and I am sending you a really great guy

He said, “Think about this one well, because for you this is MY gift”

“You can turn it down now, but you may not get another… Get my drift?”

I shouldn’t turn down a blessing, and I should grasp the opportunity instead

So before he changes his mind, I have him locked in my basement with a gun to his head

Today I’m getting married, and these words I speak so true

If he expects to leave this basement alive, then today he’d better say, “I do”

 

“Till death do you part? Sir?”…. The Phantom Poet

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brett@Love-notes.co (don’t forget to put the hyphen (-) in the middle) and Brettjolly@aol.com. You can also send me a Skype friendship request at username Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

The Miracles (From Smokey Robinson fame and “I’m just a Love Machine”) and Brett Jolly in concert

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