Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: George Zimmerman trial)

Okay, I know that everyone has already chimed in on the Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman issue. For those of you who haven’t heard by now, Zimmerman was found “innocent” of all charges for murdering Trayvon and was subsequently “set free.” People are expressing their views, so today I figured I would take my turn. However, I’d like to examine the things that most others “don’t focus” on. First, with all the killings that happen on a “daily” basis in most urban cities of the United States, why did “this” particular case garnish “so” much publicity? I will give you a hint by tossing out some other names: OJ Simpson, Kobe Bryant and Tiger Woods. Do any of these names ring a bell? Kobe was accused of raping some woman. OJ was accused of murdering some woman. Tiger was accused of “cheating” on his woman, and yet for “some” reason the media “blew” these stories up “bigger” than the “bombings of Pearl Harbor.” Just in case these clues were not sufficient enough I will try to help you out even more. These athletes were “African American, famous and affluent.” The women in each of these cases were “White.” Whether you want to admit it or not, the fact of the matter is that “RACE SELLS.” When there is something immoral happening between a couple of 2 different races (ESPECIALLY between Blacks and Whites) it ALWAYS causes some kind of “stir” in the public eye. The media “blasts” these stories because we “love” and “support” this stuff. Our jail cells are “filled” with inmates who “stalked, confronted and murdered” people just like Zimmerman did. So why were they locked up while Zimmerman was set free, and why were their cases not as “highly publicized?” Because we CHOOSE the stories we want to hear. For us, anything “racial” brings out “emotion” within us, and that is why these stories become so popular. Even though a lot of people are doing so, I refuse to blame the “jury.” ANY jury is supposed to weigh the facts presented to them, and if one particular lawyer is better than the other then in most cases the results favor the “better” lawyer. Just like most Whites claimed with OJ, African Americans are now claiming that this perpetrator “got away with murder.” From my “own” perspective, I just “cannot” say that Trayvon’s killing was “racially motivated.” Even though he was deemed “suspicious” by Zimmerman that does NOT mean that his suspicions were “racially based.” The “racial” entity came from “us” because most African Americans have felt a “double standard” when it comes to justice in the system. When OJ was found innocent of murdering his wife, African Americans weren’t applauding because they believed he was innocent. They applauded because for once a minority actually “beat” the system. In this circumstance it appears that no one really wants to focus on the fact that Zimmerman is “part Hispanic” because doing so would only take some of the “edge” off the issue of “race.” It’s “no fun” if the 2 participants are “BOTH” minorities. A lot of people hate him because he appears “fat” and with his “light coloring” he also “appears White.” It’s unfortunate, but he just “looks” like someone you would “hate” even though most of us don’t know him personally. Another issue is our court system. Just because someone is found “not guilty” does not mean that they are “innocent.” It just means that they have not been “proven” guilty. There “is” a difference. What I don’t understand in this case is “why” wasn’t the “Stand your ground” defense applied to Trayvon? If he was being approached by some stranger with a loaded gun, then shouldn’t he have been allowed the right to “defend” himself? If he attacked Zimmerman, then according to Florida’s law, he should have had “every right” to do so out of “imminent fear.” Instead, the self defense clause was applied to Zimmerman, whose lawyers “expertly” used it to set him free. Whether we want to admit it or not, justice was applied according to Florida’s court system.  It is sad when the issue of “race” makes a case “bigger” than what it should be, but as long as we continue to support racial incidents then they will “always” come to the forefront. The media can only “sell” it if we continue to “buy” it. In the meantime, other situations like this will arise with no one “giving a damn” about it because it isn’t as “racially charged.” As much as we talk about how unfair racial relations are, we often tend to be the “biggest” perpetrators of it. God knows, God hears, and God answers… In the end, the verdict will come from a “much higher” authority than “you or me.” As always, I welcome any and all opposing points of view. Thank you, and have a great day.

 

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The Miracles and Brett Jolly performing in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: One of “those” days)

For me yesterday was really “one of those days.” Everything seemed to “malfunction” and I just couldn’t get anything to work. First, my internet service went out completely. That was real aggravating, because I couldn’t even put out a Daily Thought. To add insult to injury, my watch stopped as well so all day I couldn’t even tell the correct time. Finally, my cell phone went on the blink. The screen started jumping, and the light started going out and all kinds of crazy things are happening with it. Also, I had to go to court for a parking violation that I believed was so unnecessary. If you have ever heard of the Philadelphia Parking authority (I believe they once had a television series on it) this place is “God forsaken.” The atmosphere is “cold and callous” and no one there cares about anyone’s situation. They are only interested in applying the law and taking your money at the best opportunity. I had to spend a long time waiting for a review. Then when my name was called I told the lady that I had to play at an establishment and there was “no place at all” to park. In order for me to play, I had to unload heavy equipment (and I can’t carry it blocks). I put my hazards on (because I had no intention of leaving it parked there) and tried to rush in to unload my equipment. Well, the guy was waiting and watching me and then “rushed” to write the ticket before I could even get back to the car. When I explained this to the lady, she told me I still had to pay the ticket. I then asked her how I can conduct business with an establishment if there is no where for me to park and I need to unload my equipment. She simply said, “I don’t know.” I told her that I “expected that answer.” Anyway, all these things resulted in me having “one of those days.” Nothing seemed to go right, and I just “knew” that no matter what I tried yesterday I would “not” have been successful. Everyone has days like that from time to time, but I have developed a new way to address my “bad days.” First, I am more than willing to “laugh” at my tough circumstances. Hey, what is the use in getting upset over it? Also, I realize that this “cloud” over my head would likely last all day, so I tried to shorten the day by going to bed “early.” Unfortunately I had to play last night, so that couldn’t happen. Finally, I try to make NO “major” decisions that day, because chances are I will not make the right choice on anything. Believe it or not, by the end of the evening things actually did get better. My internet is on, but my watch and my phone are still “jacked up.” Today I awoke with a positive attitude and until further notice I will assume that today the “funky cloud” has “left me.” If not, I will know soon if today is a continuation of yesterday. I apologize for not being able to get a Daily Thought out yesterday. Today is a “new” day, and I aim to “view it” that way. Everyone has a bad day from time to time. I only hope that you can resolve yours in the same peaceful manner that I do mine. Life is too precious to let the bad moments dominate your life. Pick up the pieces and get back to putting your jigsaw puzzle back together again. Detours may make you take a little longer, but they don’t have to stop you from achieving your destination. Hope your day is a great one, and stay blessed.

 

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The Soul Survivors (“Expressway to your heart”) and Brett Jolly in concert

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Brothers competing over the same woman)

Hello Phantom Poet. My brother and I have this little problem. You see we both like the same woman. She is beautiful and we both like her a lot. We are not physically fighting each other over her, but there is definitely competition. I am 2 years older then he is and she is closer to my age. He thinks that he can treat her better than I can. Both of us cannot have her but both of us surely want her. How can we settle this between us?

You make it sound as though the choice is “yours.” In actuality, the choice is “hers.” A woman “knows” what she likes and what she doesn’t like, and your best bet is be good enough for her to want you over your brother. I am glad that you and your brother are at least handling this civilly  and are not violent towards each other, because blood is supposed to be thicker than water. However, you both need to realize that women are “smart enough” to realize who (and what) they want. It is even quite possible that she may not want a relationship with either one of you. If you want to engage in a “friendly” competition then there is nothing wrong with that, as long as there are “no hard feelings” for the loser, but the choice should still be “hers.” It may also be beneficial to be truthful to her. If you let her know that both brothers want her then she can make her own assessment. Please remember, women are “not” objects. They can think and rationalize just like men do (Uh, actually in many cases women do it BETTER). The best you can do is to “present your BEST game” and let the chips fall where they may with her. They say that most women can tell within minutes who they like. She may “already” have her mind set.  Just “be you” and let her make the final decision, and good luck to you both. Since you asked for him, here he is. Please welcome the Phantom Poet:

My brother is my family, and we believe in each other when all is said and done
However, when it comes to women, he and I are both interested in the same one
Only one of us can have her, and I am sure that the winner will clearly rejoice
But we need to realize that the winner of this battle will have to be HER choice
We both are perfect gentlemen, in great shape, fit and trim
but I am smarter, so she needs to choose ME over him
So my brother and I decided to compete for her, winner take all
We went out back to engage in a fierce game of basketball
It was a very physical game, and we both ended up tired and sweaty
But by the time we finished, she had left with the guy down the street already
She said that she considered us both, but she had a change of heart after the chance to think
She said, “You brothers are really nice, but after a game of basketball you both STINK”
She said, “Let this be a lesson to you both, because you both need to realize
I am NOT some inanimate object that you can win as a prize
I already know what I want, and I intend to choose by design
Because in the end, the ultimate choice will “always” be mine

“Hey, but at least I won the game”… The Phantom Poet

 

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Members of Full Force, Tom Joyner and Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Apprehension over past relationships)

Dear Mr. Jolly. There is this man who I believe likes me. He always goes out of his way to say hello to me, and recently he started to ask me out. I have not given him an answer yet because of his history. I have friends of mine who know of him, and they said that he has had several partners in his past relationships. They said he has had at least 5 relationships and I don’t think I want a man who has that much experience. My other friends keep trying to tell me that it doesn’t matter, but I think it does. Am I wrong?

There are several things wrong with this situation. First, if you want to know the truth about someone, it is “always” best to get it directly “from the source.” Those friends of yours who are reporting his past activities to you “may” or “may not” know the full story, and if you go according to “speculation” then you might be losing out on an opportunity to know a really nice guy. Also, just about EVERYONE has some sort of “past.” If you are looking for someone who hasn’t had “any” type of relationship OR “sexual encounter” then you just might be in for a “very long” search.  The one thing I “didn’t” see you mention was “how you feel about him.” If you had not heard all this negative information from your friends, do you even “think” that you might be interested in him? I realize that there may possibly be some other details that you didn’t mention, but on the surface it feels to me like you are “making excuses.” If you are afraid to commit to someone, or if you have apprehensions about dating then just “admit it.” When it comes to love and relationships there will always be some “anxieties and apprehensions,” but the final answer should not come from your friends, but rather from “you.” When dating someone, it usually involves the process of “getting to know your date.” Your friends are only telling you what they “think” they know. If you at least go out with this man, you can get to hear “his side of the story.”  Finally, just think of how you would like it if someone began to spread rumors about you that were “not” true.  Would you think that was fair? If you don’t, then why don’t you consider giving this man the same respect and courtesy that you would want others to give you? By the way, were you really serious about the “5” partners part? Do you really consider that to be “excessive” for a man? Maybe if he is 15 or 16. Well, I hope your make a “definitive” decision regarding this man, so that you don’t hinder him from finding happiness with “someone else” if you are not interested in him. Thank you for your topic and as usual, we cannot end this story without a compelling piece from the Phantom Poet:

This man has an incredible relationship history since he has been alive
My friends tell me that with women he has had at “least” (gasp) FIVE….!
To me that is way too much, and I would consider that to be uncanny
How could ANY woman want to date a man who has had that many?
As long as I listen to my friends then I won’t consider it as “opportunity missed”
They even told me that a couple of the women he dated he even “kissed”
How can a woman even want to deal with a man with that kind of history?
Better yet. Can a woman find a virgin man? That is the REAL mystery
I need a “pure and sanctified” man if you can understand what I mean
My friends told me that they found one for me, (but he is “only thirteen”)
At first I thought that might be too young, but if to my needs he can cater
Then at least I will have a found a clean man, and he can get a job later
I will probably have to wait until he gets out of school for our date to begin, so
I don’t think I will have any problem if on our first date we play Nintendo
I realize that he may be a bit young, but at least he is pure like “none other”
And for permission to date him I only had to go “ask his mother”
NOW my friends are telling me that I have been misled
They heard stories that he actually “hugged” another girl in Phys Ed
I have HAD IT with males and their cheating ways
I guess I will be alone the rest of my life the way it now plays
I will continue to listen to the advice of my friends, of course
Because when it comes to finding the truth, why even consider getting it from the source?

“Yeah”…. The Phantom Poet

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Singer/songwriter/actor Clifton Davis and Brett Jolly performing onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Attention”)

Everyone should fully understand the need for attention. Most people need it in their lives. If someone close to you desires it, then by all means it would help to be “attentive.” However, sometimes when it comes to attention, it is “how” we go after it that often makes the biggest difference. People may sometimes go to extraordinary means in order to “get” the “slightest” bit of attention, and sometimes that can have an adverse effect on a relationship. It is important to note that “getting” attention is NOT the same as “getting BAD attention.” When you get bad attention, it usually has a negative outcome, and the results are often “not” the results you seek. Being confrontational, emotional or accusatory will usually get you “bad” attention. “Forcing the issue” will probably get you the same result. When someone feels that he or she is not getting enough attention, then he or she may result to seeking it from “others.” This could be in the form of companionship or advice. The problem with companionship is that once you start a relationship with someone else, then that “new” relationship could have a major impact on your “already established” relationship (by the way, this relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be an “intimate” one… It could just be friendship). When you go to a third party for advice or comment, then in essence you may be allowing that person to have an involvement in your relationship that realistically “shouldn’t” be there. “Everyone” has an opinion (including “me”) but when you get to the point where you are hearing “negative things” from someone who “really doesn’t know your situation” and then giving that person “credibility” then it may not be beneficial. Some people “love” to get into your personal business, and they love the control that comes with it.  As long as they know that you are “listening” to them they will tell you all sorts of things that “may or may NOT” apply to your situation. They can only get inside of your head if you “allow” them to. A relationship between two consenting adults shouldn’t need the input of a “third” party who is NOT close enough to you to “know.” The “more” people you involve in your relationship the better the chance that someone is going to try to push you in a “negative” direction. The best way to get attention is the “old fashioned way.” Be direct, be truthful and just “TALK” to your lover. Make sure that you wait for the “PROPER” time to do so. If your lover has a lot on his or her plate, or is physically exhausted, hungry or mentally “worn out” then chances are this would “NOT” be the best time to start this type of  conversation. For the record, there is “nothing” wrong with wanting attention. None of us are perfect, and sometimes responsibilities can have a strong bearing on your life. It is important when seeking attention that you view things from the perspective of your lover as well and NOT just from your “own” perspective. ALL things can be worked out if you only “give it a chance.”  Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and I hope your day is “awesome.” Here is an “attentive” piece from the Phantom Poet:

I need to be noticed, and to this cause I must speak
Yes, it IS your attention that I currently “seek”
I refuse to be ignored, so this I feel the need to mention
I don’t care how busy you are, but I want your attention
Is now the best time? I guess I would say “probably NOT”
But there won’t be any problem as long as your attention I “got”
As far as I am concerned you can be as busy as you can be
But right now nothing else matters, so pay attention to me
As long as you focus solely on me, then that is my desire
Are you trying to tell me that my house is on fire?
I don’t know what you are saying, but my thoughts will not be diminished
So whatever you got to say can surely wait until I am “finished”
I will NOT be interrupted, so my anger you should not provoke
I really need to finish my sentence, but somehow I’m smelling “smoke”
“Why didn’t you say something? We’re in a house that is not burning”
If we ever make it out alive, then I guess there is a lesson I’ll be learning
I don’t need attention THAT badly anymore, and now I am willing to listen
If I hadn’t been so stubborn, then my house would not now be missin’
The moral of this story is that my need for attention shouldn’t be so blatant
Because I could have saved my house if I had only been more ‘patient”

“Applause, please, for the Phantom Poet”

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Singer Regina Belle and Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Views on life in Texas)

Today I wanted to talk about the state of Texas. I believe as a musician I have performed there only about 4 times in my life, but I viewed it as a beautiful place to visit. Texas has come up in the news recently because their House or Representatives voted to limit “access to abortion” after 20 weeks for women. While the debate over this issue is still going strong (One woman has devoted a 13 hour debate to this bill) you get the “impression” that Texas is “strong” when it comes to the “preservation of life.” That is admirable and honorable in my eyes to at least know that they “think” this way. One of the most “famous” Texans was former President George W. Bush, who once said that if you are going to err, then make sure to err on the side of life. NOW comes the “other” side of the Texas legacy. Texas accounts for roughly 40 % of the nation’s “executions.” On average an inmate is put to death every 3 weeks. A 52 year old woman named Kimberly McCarthy is scheduled for lethal injection today (barring a last minute reprieve) for a crime she committed in 1997. McCarthy bludgeoned her 71 year old neighbor and stabbed her with a butcher knife, while severing her finger so she could get her wedding ring. As “savage and heinous” as this crime was, their still seems to be a “conflict of ideals” in Texas. While most of the residents appear to be “pro life” that belief appears to contrast itself when it comes to inmates on “death row.” Governor Rick Perry has stated that with improved DNA testing and mandatory requirements for legal representation they have “improved” the system, and he believes that the system is fair. Maybe if Kimberly McCarthy’s mother had been allowed to have an abortion during her pregnancy then this wouldn’t have been an issue today. To me, “Pro life” is “Pro life…” If you are going to err on the side of life, then why not err on “ALL” sides of life? No one should be disputing the severity of the crimes committed, and I am not saying that those condemned don’t at least “deserve” the death penalty. I just find it “troubling” that in order to prove to people that it is “wrong to kill” we have to “kill them.” If in fact one day an inmate who has been executed is later found to somehow have been “innocent,” does that mean that the governing body who ordered the execution should be placed on trial for murder? If they erred on their decision to execute, what would make the lawmakers “any different” than the people they condemned? This is not an article to bash Texas. It is a beautiful place with the second largest population in the United States. When it comes to “principle” I would just like to see it “applied” a little less “selectively.” If you are going strong to promote life, then at least be strong enough to support ALL life. As always, I welcome and any all responses. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and please welcome a bit of levity from the Phantom Poet:

In the state of Texas, they believe in life, family and planned parenthood
These ideals are honorable, admirable and designed for the greater good
When it comes to the debates over life, there has been a lot of absorption
The House of Representatives recently passed a controversial bill on abortion
They strongly believe in the preservation and right to live for people in this state
However, that belief “strongly” wavers when it comes to a “death row inmate”
Pro lifers want to ban abortions with laws that won’t suffer rejection
But what about the people whose lives are governed by lethal injection?
Kimberly McCarthy is scheduled to be executed for a debt to society she must pay
Maybe if her parents had been allowed to abort, then this wouldn’t be happening today
In Texas this issue hasn’t really been much of a debater
Does it make a difference if you “kill them now or kill them later?”
Death is death, and executions are considered to be the “final word”
To think that abortion and execution are two different things is completely”absurd”
She awaits word from Governor Rick Perry in a form of some reprieve letter
If he allows her to die for murder, then in essence is he any better?
I guess when it comes to life in Texas, only one statement seems to ring true
In Texas, you can “murder unto others as you would have them murder unto you”
I guess it is time to end this conversation, so let me add my final point to this song
Whether it’s abortion or execution, when it comes to death, it’s all wrong

“Hope your day today is FULL of life” The Phantom Poet

 

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The Stylistics and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (How to handle boys that want to date your daughters)

Had an interesting topic on Facebook the other day. My daughter had posted a picture of someone wearing one of those “promotional” t-shirts that had a caption on it. This particular shirt was titled “Rules for dating my daughter” and of course, it featured some funny tidbits like “get a job” and “I hate you” and “I will hurt you.”  My daughter than asked me and her mother “What size shirt do you want?” One young man decided to chime in and respond to it by saying that he doesn’t appreciate fathers who try to intimidate dates. He said that it will never work against him and he implied that he would have no problems at all standing up to the parent if this situation should ever arise. His exact words were “Let them try.” He also said that if the parents had “properly trained” their daughter well enough then she would know not to bring home someone who is disrespectful. Now, normally I leave certain comments alone on Facebook. I realize that everyone has a right  to say whatever he or she wants and most times it is not worth the effort to engage someone, however, in this instance I felt as though his comments were a direct reflection on me. I responded by letting him know that no human being is perfect, so everyone is prone to make mistakes. A young man could be VERY courteous and respectful during the beginning and his “inner demon” could easily surface later on in the relationship. Ted Bundy was a perfect gentlemen to ALL the women he dated until he killed them all. No amount of training can make anyone “perfect” enough to be able to determine the actions of others. I also had to let him know that I was a very proud parent of my kids, and if “ANYONE” abuses or disrespects them, then it will NOT be their “fear nor intimidation” that I seek… It will be their “complete and utter annihilation.” Proper training should not just be on the parents of the girl, but rather on the boy as well. I also let him know that even though I liked the shirt it was NOT reflective of me. I have no desire to intimidate any young man who wants to see my daughter and I only saw the message on the shirt as a moment of levity for me. The young man responded that he just had a problem with the message on the t-shirt because it automatically assumed that all young men are disrespectful when it comes to dating the daughters of parents. I told him that there are a LOT of t-shirts with “tainted messages posted” that promote messages of that nature. Manufacturers have the right to promote any message they want, but that doesn’t mean that their messages have to have an effect on us. If you “do right” then you “are right.” The best way to get respect is to just “be respectful.” One day he may become a parent to a girl and then be faced with the same issues. When that day arrives I hope he has the fortitude to realize that ANY proud parent is going to be there for his or her child. For me, that will ALWAYS be the case until the day I leave this realm. Needless to say, the conversation ended with him posting a “like” on my final comment. Hey, during my years I had to meet many parents of girls I wanted to date, and I was respectful to them ALL (and the date as well). If you are mentally prepared for confrontation, then that is when confrontation usually happens.  I already know that there is “no way in Hell” this young boy will ever date my daughter. She didn’t like his message to start with, but hopefully I planted something in his mind to help him with any “other” date he may have. We ALL can learn from our experiences, and isn’t that what life should be about? I hope you don’t mind me posting this today, and please have a great one. Come on in, Phantom Poet:

When it comes to your children dating, it is proper to give consideration
Even though some young men have issues with intimidation
They come in with the perspective that they are prepared to fight
When all they need to really do is just respect and “act right”
So that you don’t end up getting yourself into a whole lot of hot water
Remember to treat your date the way you would if she were your own daughter
Because some young boys don’t want to be perceived as passive or weak
But if you mess up with my daughter, it won’t be your “fear” that I seek
No, for me there is a whole new perspective to this equation
Because I will seek nothing less than your “complete and utter annihilation”
If you abuse or disrespect her, then there is no longer a reason to debate
I may be older, but that means my aim for “shooting” is GREAT!
Men should ALWAYS be respectful to a lady whenever a date calls
And those men who abuse or disrespect should be hung by their “ballistics”
And for the parents, we only want to alleviate any worry or doubt
As long as you act right, then there should be nothing to worry about
So in closing this poem, there is one last little message that I “got”
“Do unto others as you would have them to unto you… or get SHOT!”

“Said lovingly by the Phantom Poet”

 

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If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brettjolly@aol.com. You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Should you continue to hate your ex?)

I was talking to someone the other day who was having issues with an “ex.” Due to the fact that they had kids together they both had to stay in contact (in one form or another), but it was obvious that “resentment” was still there. When you have a relationship (or marriage) that goes sour, should you continue to harbor animosity towards your ex after the both of you have moved on? Granted, each relationship is different, and may times the “severity” of the different circumstances can have lasting effects on how  you feel. No one can change the past, but you do have the power to make sure that the past doesn’t change you… One thing I have learned is that if you allow “hatred to define” you then you will never be able to get past the pains of a bad relationship. Naturally, if you were abused in any way it makes things tougher for you to forgive. No one wants to be wronged like that. It is also possible that the person you were with “deserves” your anger for what he or she did to you. I am just saying that once you “let go” of a relationship then you might want to consider “forgiving” your ex in order to begin “feeling TOTALLY free.” Otherwise, the more you  continue to reflect on the hatred of the past the more you are allowing that expired relationship to abuse you “mentally.” NO ONE deserves to have that type of power over you. While your “ex” may still display hatred and animosity towards you, that doesn’t mean that you have to stoop down to “his or her” levels. You need to realize that  you are now “better off” without this individual and through the process of separation your life has become “much” better. For that, your “ex” actually did you a “favor.” There are greater things in life waiting in store for you, and you don’t need to be “held down” by the weight of “excess relationship baggage.” The next time your “ex” sees you, he needs to see the “new and improved” you that came with a “new life attitude.” If your ex notices that you no longer care to exhibit anger towards him or her, then I guarantee that it will make a difference in your views on each other.  The best way to move on in life is to “forgive and forget.” Of course, this is always “easier said than done.” Only you can make that difference. Once your ex sees the “difference” in the “new” you then he or she may change her attitude as well. Life goes on, but “ONLY” if you “let it.” A new chapter in life does not have to feature the “previous cast of characters.” Turn the page in  your life and be prepared to “wipe the slate clean.” Please welcome the Phantom Poet to put his “own” spin on this tale:

When it comes to your ex there is no longer a need to get upset
That’s because in order to feel free, you should forgive and forget
We all realize that what was done to you was really bad and wrong
But it doesn’t help to to harbor animosity in your life this long
NOW is the time to take control of your life and even take a dare
You can make a change, diet, change your dress or even your hair
You can now display “change” and show your ex what you are now about
And make sure that your ex knows that now you are “better without”
Let him or her know that you are no longer the wimp they once had
And that through your new lease on life you are no longer even mad
And be prepared in your new life to forget him or forget her
Because once this person left, he or she made your life “better”
So now you are “free” and this is a moment that you need to savor
Because since the the relationship is gone, your ex did you a favor
And when your ex sees the “improved” you and craves to know more
Let him or her get one last look at you, as you walk “forever’ out that door.

“Man, I wish I could have THAT back” The Phantom Poet

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If you have a topic that you like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com. You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Stevie Wonder and Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Arguments and keeping your composure”)

I hate arguments, but on occasion my lover loves to come at me with some kind of heated exchange. I don’t want to make her more upset, but every time she screams and hollers it really upsets me. There have been times when I was close to losing it with her. She always tells me that if I don’t talk back with her then she will become even more upset. How should you handle emotional people who want to argue with you?

This is a good question, because if you don’t watch out, this person can make you “just as emotional” as he/she is (and the worst thing that can happen is that you have TWO emotional wrecks going at it). The one thing that “needs” to happen is you need to make a very quick “assessment.” It is NOT what is being said that should alert you, but rather HOW it is being said to you. If you both are within close enough proximity to hear each other clearly and yet she is still raising her voice, then that means she is about to become “emotional.” The one thing you DON’T want to do is “match” an emotional person on his or her same level. When responding back it is “important” to “remain calm.” Most times this is easier “said than done.” However, if your “peaceful demeanor” is resulting in making her even MORE angry (which can sometimes happen) then you should refrain from responding back totally. Allow her to vent for a minute (or two… “HUNDRED”) and “try” to “not” say anything to incite her even more. If you do choose to speak, a good thing to say would be, “I love you so much, and I refuse to get angry with you tonight. I recognize how you feel and why you feel that way, but I love you too much tonight to argue or be mad with you. When BOTH our heads are calmer tomorrow I will GLADLY revisit this conversation.” When you say something like this, it will usually help to “deflate SOME” of the pent up emotion (but it may take some time before you actually SEE any results). If she responds by saying something “mean spirited” (like “Malarkey”… which when interpreted correctly means “BULLS*(&”) you need to recognize that she is ONLY doing so to get an emotional response out of you. Some people push arguments just to see how far they can “push your buttons.” She can only succeed if you allow her to. The rule of thumb should be “If I can’t make you happy tonight then there is no need to make the BOTH of us miserable.” It is important for a man to know “when” to walk away. She may tell you that she is going to get more angry if you do, but I’m sure you already recognized that she can’t POSSIBLY get more angrier than what she “already is.” From a man’s perspective, you HAVE to keep your composure. One wrong emotional response can change your world in an instant. The “one” advantage you “should” have is that she should NOT be able to “out run” you. If you decide to turn away and she follows you, then “run…. RUN Forrest, RUN…” As crazy as this sounds, running will allow you to exert “energy” so that you don’t end up doing “something stupid.” If she chases after you, it will also help her to release some of her energy as well. She probably “needs” to release that energy, but that doesn’t mean that you should stick around and allow her to abuse you verbally. If necessary, go away someplace and “email” her your concerns. She will still get angry, but at least she “shouldn’t” scream and holler at her computer (please keep in mind that there ARE exceptions to this rule) and if she does holler at least you won’t “hear it.” Above all, be honest and let he know WHY you don’t like scream with her. It may take a while, but she WILL understand eventually. The most important thing is that if she is ALREADY at  her “anger limit” then there is no longer a need to debate someone who is incapable of listening to you right now. Make your own assessment and do whatever is necessary to keep it from escalating further. Good luck to you and please welcome this special presentation from the Phantom Poet:

I have discovered that my woman has a 6 octave voice range
Because I hear each note with her heated voice exchange
She really goes at it whenever she lets an argument occur
And she says that if I don’t listen she will get “angrier”
She begins to scream and shout and I wish she would cease
Because it isn’t necessary and all I want is just a little peace
Sometimes I realize that she is trying her best to make me very mad
But as a man I have to keep my composure so I won’t do something bad
She refuses to listen to reason, and this I can surely tell
Because I can’t seem to get a word in and she is yelling like Hell
I think I need to make a decision and I am now prepared to make it
Let’s go upstairs where we can continue to argue… “naked”
The words may get heated at times, but nothing much compares
Because if you are turning me on, then who the Hell cares?
Maybe we can engage in sex as well, and that would be real pleasin’
And when it comes to the argument, I will probably forget the reason
Because if two people love each other, then we really shouldn’t complain
And for a good intimate moment, I’ll admit that you are “right as rain”
Every couple can have an argument, but there is no need to break up
The true art of love is knowing the correct way to make up
So if your mate wants to argue, then you can do it, I suppose
But if you want a happy ending, then make sure to do so…WITHOUT “clothes”

“What were you talking about again, baby?” The Phantom Poet

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Send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Johnny Gill, Brett Jolly and Bobby Brown (from New Edition)

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Should the church be allowed to turn anyone away?)

This is a true story. There is this church that I know of. It has been considered a good church and rarely has anything bad been said about it.  I just heard recently that they banished a man from the church because he smelled bad and had bed bugs. Do you think it is right for a church to do that?

The problem I have with this case are the facts that I “don’t” know. Were there any “other” factors that played into this decision? For the most part, I would think the role of the church should be more designed to “save” souls rather than “condemn” them. If this man needed help, then what better place to turn than the church? The issue here is what type of effect did his circumstances have on the rest of the congregation? Was he disruptive during service? Was he delusional or interrupting the church services? It would help to know more information, but given what you have said I would have hoped that the church “helped” him instead. Sometimes people can hit “low points” in life. When that happens, a change is usually in order. Attending a church is a way to bring salvation to your life and give you a whole new direction. ANYONE can attend church when times are “great.” When someone has hit “rock bottom” there are usually two directions that he or she would encounter. One is “jail” and the other one is “death.” What people don’t realize is that there IS a third option, and that is “religion.” If someone needs help and turns to the church, I just can’t imagine the church turning him or her away under “any” circumstances, and that includes stench and/or bed bugs. It would have been nice if the church had taken him and washed him up and counseled him instead. It is quite possible that this particular church may have already done so and maybe wasn’t equipped to devote as much time to this individual as needed. Without all the facts this is tough to ascertain. However, it is also important to note that ALL churches are “NOT” alike. I have known of churches that do more promoting of “tithes and offerings” than they do “The Word.” I have known of churches who give much better consideration to “persons of higher status” than regular members of their own congregation. To me a great church is one that “doesn’t care” who you are, and will offer a chance for salvation to ALL who are “in need of it.” I have heard that many pastors are also attempting to counsel people on love and relationships. To me the most important role of the church should be to “save souls.” Would Jesus have turned someone away because of a foul odor or bed bugs? Let’s hope that churches become “less of a business” and more of a “salvation” for people in need. Only you can determine if your church is the right fit for you. It is important to listen to what is said, but it is also important to listen “beyond” what is being said. Get to know your church and find out where it “stands,” and if something doesn’t feel right, then either raise the question or move on. Faith can be your mightiest weapon, and your church should be your “ammunition” store. If they are selling “defective bullets” then by ALL means, “take your business/faith elsewhere.” Here is a little tidbit of faith from the Phantom Poet:

When hitting a low point in life, there’s nothing wrong with striving for a higher perch
That is why it should be very important for people to at least consider going to church
Everyone should be allowed to come in for services and allowed to take a seat
But what about if your church decides to banish a derelict off the street?
This person may not be able to offer any tithes due to lack of wealth
but shouldn’t this person be entitled to salvation just like anyone else?
I think it is VERY important for people to hear what the the church has to say
But I just can’t find any justification in a church turning ANY individual away
The church should open it’s doors to anyone in need and be the proper host
Because if someone is at a low point, then he or she needs Jesus the most
If there are any doubts as to how to handle this, well, here is a little clue:
Why don’t you just ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”
The person could be decrepit, foul, and wasting away from cancer
But no matter the circumstance, for him Jesus should be the “answer”
So for those people who dress up real nice for church all proper and trim
That derelict next to you may seem foul, but in church you are no better than “him”
It is “not” your point to judge him, because for you to do so would be a lie
When the truth of the matter is that responsibility belongs to a much higher authority.. than “you or I”

“Amen” The Phantom Poet

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Send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Famed guitarist Steve Cropper and Brett Jolly in concert

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