Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“A scam to watch out for”)

The other day I got a phone call from a number that I did not recognize. A man was on the other line and he sounded a little belligerent. He told me that he was calling in reference to my Visa account. He said that he wanted to address my delinquent payment. A red light came on in my head and I decided to contest him on his issue (because as far as I knew all my cards were up to date payment wise). I then asked him “Which Visa are you referring to?” He then told me that by law he couldn’t mention that over the phone. I then told him to give me the last 4 numbers of the account. He said that he was not allowed to give out those numbers over the phone either because he wasn’t sure that I was the actual account holder. He insisted that I give him my account number instead. I sensed “the mother of all scams here.” I notified him that I would check all my Visa accounts and if there are any delinquencies I would call the phone number on the back of the card and address the issue with the company. I then told him that if I find no delinquencies then I was going to report this phone number to the authorities for fraud. For a little bit more he tried to debate me on giving him my card information. I told him that if he were standing right in front of me I would deck him immediately for trying to swindle me out of my money. He then “hung up.” To try to get the name of the company, I called the number right back and the phone didn’t even ring. I just kept hearing small “beeps.” Obviously this was a scam and today I just wanted to alert others. There are a lot of people out there with gimmicks designed to mislead you and trick you out of your money. If ANYONE demands your account number NEVER give it to them until you can verify who they are and who they represent. Even though this idiot didn’t get me he probably got other unsuspecting people. Be cautious, be alert and be aware. Never hesitate to question anything that doesn’t feel right. By the way, when I checked all my cards there were no delinquencies whatsoever. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Singer James Ingram (“One hundred ways”) with Brett Jolly. In the background are Sheldon Reynolds (formerly of Earth, Wind and Fire) and Johnnie Croom (former music director for Boyz II Men)

James Ingram

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Someone asked my opinion on rap music”)

The other day some guy came up to me and asked how I felt about rap music. He said that the lyrics in these tunes are hardly ever positive and that he felt they were a negative influence on our youth. He wanted my personal opinion (and we all know I have plenty of those) so I gave it to him. First, I said that you have to go beneath the surface when it comes to anything that is popular. Most fads, styles and promotions are driven by the concept of “making money.” As bad as you may think rap music may be, it won’t make a difference what you think if people continue to support it by buying it.  While it would be great for rap music to promote more “positivity in the songs” the labels only care about making profit. I did manage to tell him that however, the industry will “follow the leader.” In other words, if he could come up with a new positive rap lyric song and it sells somehow, then those other labels will take notice and most likely “follow suit.” I also told him that the state of most current popular music has been dwindling as well. A lot of those big name record labels from back in the day are gone now. The few big labels that are left are putting out “cheap sounding music product” and depending more on marketing to sell it. What this means is that they are hoping that their marketing strategy will make “any song they promote” a big hit (and a profitable one) no matter how horrible it is. This concept costs a lot, which is why the radio industry is in the toilet now. The music you hear on most of the big conglomerate radio stations is basically music that is easy (and cheap) for them to produce. The quality doesn’t matter to them anymore because they figure the young market will buy it “as it is.” The real question is whether or not they are making any profit doing so. It costs a lot of money to promote your song, and since most of the younger generations don’t buy CD’s anymore then rarely does anyone sell enough to make a big splash financially. Remember the old days when you could buy someone’s CD for around $10.00? The days of Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston are gone, and what’s left is a trail of “watered down” product that is not worthy. Often you will hear reports that a certain song sold “millions” when it was first introduced. Don’t believe everything that you hear. If these songs were selling, then why have all these labels “folded?” The real money comes from doing concerts and not from music sales. Currently the music industry is on “life support” and in need of a blood transfusion. The radio giants are motivated by money. They need us in order to make it. If the majority of radio listeners don’t like the music then the best way to make a change is to “not support it.” That concept works with just about anything. I told the guy that rap music is “only as bad as it’s support.” There is strength in numbers and through a unified effort we can bring the music industry back to where it should be. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

David Banner, Ciara, Vickie Winans, The Williams Brothers, Chuck Brown, Janet Jackson, James Ingram, Yolanda Adams (with Brett Jolly to the right on bass)

radioone

Brett Jolly’s Dailly Thought (“A parent’s impact on a child’s life”)

When I was a little boy I could not understand why my parents would not let me go outside late at night to play with the other boys on the street. They would tell me that I couldn’t go and I would get highly depressed from it, because the other parents on the block wouldn’t care about letting their boys go out at any time of the evening. A lot of those boys ridiculed me for being a “momma’s boy.” Well, eventually I grew up (or at least I think I did) and now I can “fully understand why” my parents did what they did. A lot of the boys that hung out at night got into trouble. They had nothing else to do so some of them engaged in vandalism, some got involved in drugs and some even went to prison. If I had been with them then I might have fallen into trouble just like they did and my life could have been much different for me today. You see, when I had to stay at home, I had nothing else to do but draw, watch television and play piano. Playing the piano became a major part of my life, because now I am a full fledged musician, playing professionally. If I had not had to stay at home so much then this outcome could have turned out differently. I am saying this because as parents we sometimes have to “think for our children.” We may not always be able to give them “what they want,” but it is a necessity for us to give them “what they need.” Just because kids want to hang with their buddies doesn’t mean that they should be allowed to. Parents need to be able to “see the things that our kids can’t.” My parents were “very observant” and while I often didn’t like the “stringent hand” they ruled with, I can honestly say that because of them I am a better person today. As tough as it is to be a parent, we have to provide a suitable atmosphere for our kids to grow and learn. My kids know that they can come to me about anything (but that does NOT mean that I am going to give them “everything”). Your children are our future. Their outcomes reflect on “us.” Love your child with a special concern and be there for whenever your child needs you. It may make the biggest difference in both of your lives… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought today, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com
Skype: Brettjolly1

James Ingram and Brett Jolly

James Ingram

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Just who should have the right to judge others?”)

Yesterday I went to my barber (Yes, I still go to one, so you can stop laughing now) and aside from getting my hair cut, I usually have good conversations with him. For those of you who don’t remember, I wrote about him before. Years ago he was young and foolish and decided to drive with his friends while recklessly shifting lanes on a highway. Well, his actions cost him the lives of one of his friends and two passengers in the approaching car. To make a long story short, he spent time in jail, he dropped to  his knees in court and asked the families of the victims to forgive him. He was cut a break on his jail time and is now leading a “changed lifestyle” with a new attitude in life. He told me yesterday that considering his circumstances he could never ever be in judgment of anyone. We both agreed that it is easy for most people to judge others based on the “surface story alone” but in some cases those judgments could be highly scrutinized when given the background of those who actually committed the infractions. Most times we are “quick” to criticize the bank robber for robbing banks, and yet we may never take into consideration that this man (or woman) just might have  hit rock bottom after being turned down on “numerous job applications.” What about the prostitute who works the streets selling her body because of her experiences when she grew up up being abused  and molested constantly by friends and family? What about the child molester who suffered from the same things when he or she was  younger? As a society we read about the infractions committed and the first thing we do is “form a negative opinion or judgment based on what we read.” However, what if that article doesn’t take into consideration the torment this person suffered while growing up institutionalized or the medication that the person was on that made him or her react that way? One thing we both agreed on  was that “no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.” If it is true that God forgives us, then “should it be considered unGodly if we choose NOT to forgive?” There is an old saying that goes like this: “Let he who is without sin cast the very first stone.” For the record, I am not saying that we should let all those who are guilty of crimes free. However, I do believe that most (if not all) of those incarcerated can be rehabbed  and possibly even trained to function in society with a new chance. I also believe that we can reach out to the families of troubled youths and work with them “before they commit a crime” so that they can at least feel that “someone cares.” A child without hope is a child lost. If I had a choice between building more prisons and building more schools I would gladly take the latter. My barber got a second chance in life and he is now making the most of it. I honestly believe that others might do the same if they are “only given that opportunity.” I’m sure there are people out there who will disagree with me and probably judge men on today’s Daily Thought. I can deal with that… In the end, I know that there is only “one” judgment that “really” matters… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

David Banner, Ciara, Vickie Wynans, The Williams Brothers, Chuck Brown, Janet Jackson, James Ingram, Yolanda Adams and Brett Jolly on bass guitar

radioone

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Remembering famed bassist Louis Johnson”)

Over the weekend I heard the stunning news that Louis Johnson from the great classic group the “Brothers Johnson” had passed away. During their heyday they were under the wing of Quincy Jones and had R&B toppers like “Stomp, Strawberry Letter 23, and Get the Funk out my Face.” George Johnson usually sang lead and played guitar, while his brother Louis was usually featured in  just about every song of theirs with some kind of funky bass rift or solo that other bass players (including me) loved to emulate. Louis had patterned himself after the style of Larry Graham (from Graham Central Station) and would slap and thump the bass. He was an amazing player. For those of you who are not familiar with his work, one thing that you might recognize was that he was the one who played (and created) the famous bass rift at the beginning of Michael Jackson’s all time classic “Billie Jean.” While he also played on “many other” famous projects he kind of faded from view after a while. His style of playing seemed to no longer be fashionable but yet he had already made his mark in musical history. When watching a recent interview of his online the one thing he said was that no one should ever expect to make a living off of music. He said that it is great to improve your craft, but he had to do other things because the music business was not a very profitable one. He did police work, odd jobs and even was a property manager at one point (I was also one at one point). I had heard that the brothers were not getting along and maybe that was the reason why they were no longer touring. I would have loved to have seen them in concert again (I saw them years ago at the Spectrum in Philly and they were awesome). I invite you to Google Louis Johnson and see for yourself some of the famous tracks he actually played bass on and check out his fantastic style of playing. He was one of my inspirations in music and his life will always be celebrated by me. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Sheldon Reynolds (formally of Earth, wind and fire) James Ingram, Brett Jolly, and Johnny Croom (formally of Boyz Ii Men)

James Ingram

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Trying to live life stress free”)

This is my own personal definition of “stress: That which you allow others to put on you…” In this business of music (or probably in any other business as well) you are bound to encounter people who just “don’t want you to smile.” They try to continually put pressure on you to get more productivity out of you, and in their eyes that is the way businesses should be conducted. They are not interested in your happiness and they get off on having control over you. These people could be bosses, supervisors, family  members, friends or anyone who loves to make you just as miserable as he or she is. They often consider themselves to be experts in your field, even if in reality they don’t know squat. They thrive over having jurisdiction over your life. The deep part about this is that they can “only succeed” as far as you allow them. I am sure you know several people who are “never happy” unless they are “miserable.” While they have the right to feel the way they do they “shouldn’t” have the right to make you feel that way. What can you do to alleviate the pain and suffering that these people bring? The first thing is to “recognize” who you are dealing with. Is this person a boss or supervisor, and if so, does he or she have the necessary “qualifications” to be in that position? A LOT of employees work for people who are “dumb as a bat” and yet there isn’t much that can done about that. For these types of people it is “always best” to make “notations” about everything you are asked to do, because when things are not done right you can rest assured there will be an investigation and it is extremely advisable to make sure you have “your house” in order. Whenever your boss tells you to do something that you “know” isn’t correct, make sure to let others know. When the crap hits the fan it is always important to have “witnesses who know the truth.” Finally, if you have to, don’t be afraid to go “above the heads” of your supervisors to report wrongdoing. That way they can conduct their own investigations based on the knowledge that you have provided for them. I have personally worked for music people who will try to tell me what I should be playing. The truth of the matter is that i have perfect pitch, and I should be the one “telling THEM” what the correct notes are. For these people I often just try to give them “what they want” even if they “don’t even KNOW what they want.” No matter what, I refuse to let myself get as hyped and stressed out as they are. They worry, they fret, they make faces and weird gestures. I just do what I do, and I do it right. “No stress, Mon!” I hope you are living a stress free life and occupation as well. It is important for your health to be calm whenever possible. I love what I do, and I plan to be happy doing it. I apologize if that offends anyone. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer. Please make the most of it today.

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Email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

James Ingram and Brett Jolly (behind is Sheldon Reynolds, formerly of Earth, Wind and fire and Johnny Croom, former music director for Boyz II Men, Allyah and Genuine)

James Ingram

Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Are women bodybuilders more attractive?)

Dear Mr. Jolly. I little while ago I decided to get buffed up. I am a woman and I would like to be a professional woman bodybuilder. I am also married and my husband has told me that he doesn’t want for me to be too well developed, but if I am going to win any bodybuilding contests I need to be in the best shape that I can be. I lift weights and do all sorts of exercises and I stay in the gym. My husband has been telling me lately that I am starting to look like a man. I would think that men would love for their women to be in the perfect shape. Bodybuilding is a great pastime for me and I love doing it. My husband took a marriage vow to love me through all obstacles, so why can’t he just accept me the way I am going to be? Wouldn’t most men crave a bodybuilder woman?

I am not too sure about this one. For me personally, I would prefer a woman who is “feminine” looking. If she is naturally stronger than me then I won’t mind it, but I surely would not want her to “look” it. I have seen pictures of some women bodybuilders and I  have to honestly say that some do not “turn me on” that way. If it makes a difference, I have known of several woman who said they would NOT want a body builder man. I even heard one woman say that she would never want a man whose chest was more developed than hers. While bodybuilding may be a fun thing for you, it sounds as though this could possibly strain your marriage. Most men that I know of are NOT into bodybuilding women. Since men are usually more “visible” creatures than women your decision could possibly have a major impact on him. Yes, he should still love you through it all, but love (at least the physical aspect of it) can wear off quickly if the “attraction” is no longer there. When you are attracted to someone, that can only come from what “appeals” to you. If it is no longer appealing, then there is no longer any attraction. Did you talk to your husband or ask him about this before you decided to take it on? We ALL change through life… No one stays the same. The person we start out with when we get married is never guaranteed to be the person you end up with. I guess the best way to put this in perspective would be to imagine if the shoe were on the other foot. If your husband decided to change his image in “any” way that you didn’t like, would you speak up or would you just accept anything he decided to do?  One day he  could show up with a mo hawk haircut (I am making the assumption that he does not have one  now) or he could do something else that you just don’t like “without” your permission. Would you be willing to just accept “any” change of image from your husband? Think carefully before you answer this one. While spouses should love each other for their minds, it is often very difficult to separate the bodies “from” the minds. The best way to handle this is to communicate with your husband, and at least be willing to try to “understand” his side. He may actually love you even more after he witnesses the final product, but you need to make him feel secure about what you are trying to do. Hear him out, and hopefully the both of you can “grow together.” Good luck to you and I wish you the best.

WWW.Brettjolly.com

email: Brettjolly@aol.com

Skype: Brettjolly1

Sheldon Reynolds (formerly of Earth, Wind and Fire), James Ingram, Brett Jolly, and Johnnie Croom (formerly of Boyz II Men)

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: How to break up with someone)

This relationship of ours is so over. I have had enough of this man and I am so ready to pull the plug on this tragedy. He still wants to try to work things out but I am tired of the same things happening over and over. I have told my friends that I am going to dump him, but they keep saying that I should give him another chance. What they don’t know is that I have already given him many chances and now I have reached my limit. It is time to part ways, but how should I break this to him?

James Ingram (a man I once played for) had a prophetic song out a while back entitled “There’s no easy way to break a woman’s heart.” Well, the same concept applies to men as well. Breakups are the “relationship equivalent” to an employer telling you “You’re fired.” Psychologically, the effects of it can have a “major” impact. If  your relationship was one that was filled with anger and resentment then I would strongly suggest that your “breakup” be “anything but.” Sometimes when we experience hurt from a lover we have a tendency to want to “dish” it back out when breaking up. In  fact,  your lover will probably be “expecting” anger from you, especially if that anger has already defined your relationship. As people grow, people change, and the person you started out with may not be the person that you have now. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they have turned evil, but they may have just become “different.” If you view it that way then maybe that will help you when trying to find the proper way to break up. When you verbally attack someone, it is difficult to take those words back once you “let them go.” Your lover will probably be hurt no matter “how” you break up with him, but if you do it in a way that is “not filled” with frustration or anger it might make the difference in both of your lives. Just because your relationship was filled with so much emotion doesn’t mean that your breakup has to be. If you feel you are at your total limit, then speak calmly, kindly and directly. Even if he should raise his voice, that doesn’t mean that you have to “match” him. The truth is that there really “is” no easy way to break someone’s heart. Just think of how you would want it done if someone were to do it to you, and hopefully that thought will help guide you through this task. He may (or he may not) deserve it, but even he will respect you more for “doing it this way.” Try handling it with care instead of emotion, and if you need any inspiration, try this out from the Phantom Poet:

The time has finally come and even though we must part
There’s still no easy way to break somebody’s heart
While there were some good moments of fun and stuff
The bad times outweigh the good, and I have had enough
I just want to tell him, but my friends think I am being rash
I think he needs to be discarded just like Tuesday’s trash
He knows it’s coming and he already wants another chance
He has had too may already, and that is just my stance
I am not worried about his feelings, so I already did what I had to do
I just walked up to him and shouted, “I’m done with you…I’m THROUGH”
Once I part with you, then I’m done… That has ALWAYS been my motto
Then he turned and said, “Aw, now what can I do with the money from the Lotto?”
I said, “What money? What are you talking about? I really need to know”
He said, “I played the Lotto and hit it, for about 80 million or so”
He said, “I planned to surprise you, because I wanted to share it with you”
“Now I guess I will have to find someone else since we are now through”
Maybe I was a little too harsh on him, and maybe I should cut him some slack
Now that I think of it, now just might be a “great” time to take him back
Our relationship wasn’t so bad after all, and it wasn’t so difficult for me to live through
So I told my man that I had a change of heart, and right now I absolutely “forgive you”
I said that we can even get married and I am more than happy to welcome him back to the helm
He looked at me and said “Sure, we can reunite… when icicles ornament Satan’s fiery realm”
I can’t believe he dumped me like that. How in the world could he have so much nerve?
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so mean to him, and now I guess I got what I deserve

“Yet another scintillating masterpiece” from the Phantom Poet

 

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Sheldon Reynolds (formerly of Earth, Wind and Fire) James Ingram, Brett Jolly, Johnny Croom (Former music director for Aliyah, Genuine, and Boyz II Men)

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Can’t be the bigger person)

Subject = Can’t be the bigger person

I am in need of some advice in my relationship. The man I am dating has only one child, a son who is now 20 years old and he has a young lady who he considers his daughter from an ex-girlfriend who is not his biological daughter. I told him I could only accept such a situation as long as he keeps a healthy perspective and had healthy boundaries in place.  The young lady is 19 years old and she is disrespectful towards me and usually does not speak unless he makes her.  He has advised me she is jealous and requires a lot of attention. Her mother is in a relationship of her own and her spouse has called him and asked him and the mother to stop communicating with each other since the young lady is not his daughter.  I feel the man that I am seeing is holding onto an attachment that he needs to let go of.  The young woman who he treats as a daughter treats him as another source of income and is taking advantage.  She has a relationship with her natural father and does not refer to my boyfriend as Dad but calls him by his name and only calls when she needs something.  I have pointed out the manipulation and asked him to set boundaries.  I am now at the point where I am ready to end the relationship as no new woman wants to deal with this.  He is a good guy but I told him I have a big problem with this issue and I am not willing to deal with it moving forward.  Am I wrong for feeling like I don’t want to be the bigger person? Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to leave his past behind him and not expect me to accept this situation?

There are a couple of things to consider with this situation. The first thing is that the definition of family is “not” solely limited to those who are only related by “blood.” If this young woman was an integral part of his life then he still has every “right” to refer to her as his “daughter” even though she is not connected “biologically.” That being said, although she is rude and lacks manners, I don’t think it would be totally  fair for you to expect him to just “let go” of her. However, that does not mean that you should have to tolerate her behavior either. The one good thing I heard you mention is that he “makes her speak” to you. That means that he at least “knows” she is being disrespectful and is at least working to “correct” that behavior. Unfortunately this young woman is 19 years old and practically an adult. At some point she will no longer have to listen to him. Then it will be up to him to determine how he plans to handle her. Two things are absolute: He “CANNOT” allow her to disrespect you and he SHOULD NOT allow her to disrespect him. If he cannot control her negative actions towards you, then he needs to make sure she cannot visit whenever you are around. NO woman wants to see her man being taken advantage of, so you have EVERY right to feel the way that you do. Your man has “choices” and he needs to make the right ones. It should NOT, however, fall on you to make those choices “for” him. When you threaten to leave him you are basically telling him that it’s either “her” or “me.” There IS another alternative if you are willing to consider it… Just let him know that you will not come between him and his daughter, but you can’t just stand by and watch her kill his spirit either. Instead of giving him an ultimatum, try coming to him from the standpoint of love. If it breaks your heart to see him treated this way, then let him know how you feel. You can offer to step back so that he can figure out what’s most important in his life. Right now he is probably under a lot of pressure and stress. There is no need for you to add to it. Remember, when a couple forms a relationship, the only things that should “really” matter are the things that directly involve only the 2 of you. When you start to incorporate the lives of others in your relationship then it is NO LONGER about only the 2 of you. Other people should not have “any” power over your relationship. Don’t threaten to run from your man, but try to get closer to him so that he can clearly “see” what the right choice is. That way you will give “him” control to do what he feels (and knows) is best. Good luck to you, and I wish the best for this situation. Here is the Phantom Poet to disrespect the laws of good poetry:

This young girl is NOT his biologically daughter, and I sincerely hope he “forsakes her.”
She is rude and disrespectful and won’t speak to me unless he “makes her”
I asked him to “set boundaries” and if he fails he will be in hot water
I don’t feel he should take that abuse from someone who “isn’t” his daughter
He needs to know that I can’t handle this and this situation may soon worsen
But am I  being wrong for not wanting to be the “bigger person?”
She is jealous and wants attention, but in time all of this may “pass”
But until then a good remedy might be to take a belt and whip her “ass”
Let ME apply it, and I will give her at least 6 good whelps, or maybe 8 or ten
And if I whip her hard enough, I promise she’ll want to “speak to me THEN!”
She will holler, she will scream, and she will utter grunts like “Ugh” and “Ow!”
But you can rest assured that she’s getting a LOT of “attention” now…
She is getting what she “richly” deserves and no mistake am I making
I am whipping her so hard that I think the belt might be breaking
She is “TOTALLY” respectful now, and now she is not even a bother
She has been a “perfect” little angel, and she adores me and her father
I realize that she is 19, but even at that age certain changes can come true
This kind of whipping has no “age limit”… and it was “long” overdue
You see, sometimes respect is not given and that’s when it has to be earned
and that is the PERFECT opportunity to get a belt and see to it that her backside gets “burned”

“Applied lovingly, of course”… by the Phantom Poet

 

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If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (Or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.

 

Sheldon Reynolds (formerly of Earth, Wind and Fire) James Ingram (“One hundred way”) and Johnnie Croom (Former music director for Boyz II Men, Allyah and Genuine)

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: How to handle overly aggressive business partner)

I’m in a job I love as a sales rep for a major company. Good pay, nice co-workers, but recently I’ve been having issues. One of our accounts, a man in his 40’s has been hitting on me every time I talk to him or see him. I talked with my superior and was told to just go with the flow. Don’t jeopardize the account. I only deal with this guy a few times a month, but it’s uncomfortable and starting to undermine my happiness here. Do you have any idea on how to get him to stop his behavior without losing the account?
 
Yeah…tell his wife about it (and chances are he probably “has” one, too)… Seriously, if your company expects you to get involved with this guy “outside” of the workplace then that could lead to all sorts of consequences. No job should ever “tell” you to “overly” fraternize with a client just so you can keep an account, but most organizations have no problems with using “sex” appeal when it comes to business (in fact, I think that just about ALL of them use it at one stage or other). Obviously most people prefer to do business with an attractive member of the opposite sex (and some might prefer members of the “same” sex, but that is another story…for another day…). If you ever did form some kind of personal relationship with him outside the business (and things suddenly went sour) then the business account could be jeopardized as a result. Also, it could get real “sticky” if this guy expects to sleep with you. From the company standpoint, does this mean that in order to protect the account you are expected to do so? Let’s hope not…  One way to get past this situation is for YOU to “personally” lay down the ground rules and say that you don’t mix personal relationships with corporate accounts. While you are in the workplace it is cool to smile and even be friendly, but once you exit the confines of your workplace that should be the END of your interaction with him. If he appears to be getting out of hand, then your supervisor should be prepared to transfer someone ELSE to that particular account. Now THIS part is VERY important: You need to document EVERYTHING that is happening, from what your supervisor is saying to what your account person is doing. Make sure to make note of the times along with the dates and try to get any witnesses if you can, because you may need them later on (and that is no joke). Should this account be lost (and they blame YOU for it) then you are going to need all resources at your disposal in case your supervisor takes a negative action towards you as a result of it. Foresight is important in ANY field of work, and you need to take measures to make sure your integrity is not being compromised against your will. If they prove to be guilty of harassment (and you can prove it) then you can take THEM to court, win your case and own the company. Here is a Friday greeting from the Phantom Poet:
 
There is an account executive who always likes to flirt
When I complained to my boss, he recommended me “shortening” my skirt
He said in order to keep the account; I should just go with the flow
I said, “then why don’t YOU dress up in heels and a skirt for him, bro?”
My boss said, “ If it was needed, I would have no problems going that extra mile”
I said, “Great, because our next client is gay, and he digs you…. smile”
If you truly believe in this concept, then you should take the steps to make it stronger
Because this gay guy is about 6 foot 7, so his “extra mile” might be a little “longer”
So as my boss, be prepared to lead by example, honey
And I’ll know we have the account once I see you come in “walking funny”
It’s great to know that you plan on following this policy through
Because we have some other big gay business clients who are fond of you, too
It’s also great to know that as a boss you will lead by example
Because the next gay guy weighs about 450, and you might get trampled
I might be able to have dinner with some clients with wine, food, and ice cream
As long as YOU can handle the other stuff…and be willing to take one…for the “team”
 
Aw man, I just heard the organization is relocating to “Fire Island”… The Phantom Poet

David Banner, Ciara, Vickie Winans, The Williams Brothers, Chuck Brown, Janet Jackson, James Ingram and Yolanda Adams onstage with Brett Jolly (photo taken from Sister II Sister magazine)

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