Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Where are my friends?)

Subject: Where have my friends gone?
 
I had to quit my job because of a sudden illness. After 35 years on the job I thought I had created some great friendships. We would go to lunch together, out for drinks after work, to each other’s houses for birthdays, graduations, baby showers, etc. I am heartbroken now to find out these friendships were only valued by me. I would call my friends on the job only to be told I have to take this other call, I’ll call you back, that was 6 months ago, None of them have even bothered to come visit me to see how I am doing. Should I write these friendships off?
 
Unfortunately, I think your friends have already written it off for you… Sometimes it is important to recognize the signs. It is quite possible that they could have forgotten to call you back, but if you have called several times and they have not returned your calls that is usually a sign that they are no longer interested in being your friends like they were. If I were you, I would not try to pursue or pressure them, because it might only make things worse.  If these people value your friendship at all, then they will eventually contact you in their own time. Otherwise I think you need to write this one off. It is very unfortunate because what they did to you can easily be done to them once they stop working. A friend is a truly valuable asset to have, but being able to “recognize” a good friend is even more valuable. If nothing else, enjoy your friendship with that “man in the mirror” and try to avoid looking over your shoulder at the people in your life who once “were considered” your friends. Your life is just beginning. Don’t be afraid to start anew. If you don’t believe me, then just ask the Phantom Poet:
 
My co-workers and I used to party a lot together
Now whenever I ask them to go out, they respond by saying “Whatever”
I had to quit my job because I suddenly became ill
And when I ask them to call me back, none of them will
After thirty-five years, I thought we were tighter than that
I feel like a Republican trying to befriend a Democrat
“Live and let live”… That has always been my motto…
But now I know those bastards will be calling me soon, because I just hit the Lotto
My picture is on the front page of the newspaper, holding a big behind check
Ah, one of them is ringing my phone right now, I suspect…
“Hi, good friend…Great to hear from you, but your reception sounds real muddy
“Please tell me what I can do for you this day, good buddy?”
“Oh, you say there are problems at the job, and everyone is feeling tension?”
“You think everyone is going to get laid off and even lose their pension?”
“Just thinking about that situation brings me to a tear”
“But I’m trying to figure out why you are even calling me here”
“You say that soon all of my friends are going to be jobless and broke”
“Well I’m now laughing, because to me this is all a big joke”
“After I left, I couldn’t get any of y’all to call me back”
“Now you’re blowing up my phone… Well, what’s up with THAT?”
“Well, I want you all to know that I am doing just fine”
”I will be thinking of you guys when I pass the unemployment line”
“I know you guys will be busy, so I don’t intend to trouble you”
“I will just wave as I drive by in my new BMW”
“There is no need for us to get together for old time’s sake”
“Just because I won a couple of million… give or take
“Well, my good friend, it was great to hear from you”
“But if you expect any money from me, then I’d be dumb too”
“Though I may not be that smart, but I am most certainly rich”
“Tell you what, though…I can treat you all to a hot chicken sandwich”
“It was great to hear from you, but I have to go…Really, I do…”
“I will always remember you as great guys I once knew”
“So before I head towards my journey’s end
I hope you have learned that there is NOTHING more valuable…than a really good friend…
 
                                       Right on! The Phantom Poet

If you have a topic that you would like to feature on my Daily Thought, feel free to email me at Brett@Love-notes.co

 

Gary U.S. Bonds and Brett Jolly in concert

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: How to handle overly aggressive business partner)

I’m in a job I love as a sales rep for a major company. Good pay, nice co-workers, but recently I’ve been having issues. One of our accounts, a man in his 40’s has been hitting on me every time I talk to him or see him. I talked with my superior and was told to just go with the flow. Don’t jeopardize the account. I only deal with this guy a few times a month, but it’s uncomfortable and starting to undermine my happiness here. Do you have any idea on how to get him to stop his behavior without losing the account?
 
Yeah…tell his wife about it (and chances are he probably “has” one, too)… Seriously, if your company expects you to get involved with this guy “outside” of the workplace then that could lead to all sorts of consequences. No job should ever “tell” you to “overly” fraternize with a client just so you can keep an account, but most organizations have no problems with using “sex” appeal when it comes to business (in fact, I think that just about ALL of them use it at one stage or other). Obviously most people prefer to do business with an attractive member of the opposite sex (and some might prefer members of the “same” sex, but that is another story…for another day…). If you ever did form some kind of personal relationship with him outside the business (and things suddenly went sour) then the business account could be jeopardized as a result. Also, it could get real “sticky” if this guy expects to sleep with you. From the company standpoint, does this mean that in order to protect the account you are expected to do so? Let’s hope not…  One way to get past this situation is for YOU to “personally” lay down the ground rules and say that you don’t mix personal relationships with corporate accounts. While you are in the workplace it is cool to smile and even be friendly, but once you exit the confines of your workplace that should be the END of your interaction with him. If he appears to be getting out of hand, then your supervisor should be prepared to transfer someone ELSE to that particular account. Now THIS part is VERY important: You need to document EVERYTHING that is happening, from what your supervisor is saying to what your account person is doing. Make sure to make note of the times along with the dates and try to get any witnesses if you can, because you may need them later on (and that is no joke). Should this account be lost (and they blame YOU for it) then you are going to need all resources at your disposal in case your supervisor takes a negative action towards you as a result of it. Foresight is important in ANY field of work, and you need to take measures to make sure your integrity is not being compromised against your will. If they prove to be guilty of harassment (and you can prove it) then you can take THEM to court, win your case and own the company. Here is a Friday greeting from the Phantom Poet:
 
There is an account executive who always likes to flirt
When I complained to my boss, he recommended me “shortening” my skirt
He said in order to keep the account; I should just go with the flow
I said, “then why don’t YOU dress up in heels and a skirt for him, bro?”
My boss said, “ If it was needed, I would have no problems going that extra mile”
I said, “Great, because our next client is gay, and he digs you…. smile”
If you truly believe in this concept, then you should take the steps to make it stronger
Because this gay guy is about 6 foot 7, so his “extra mile” might be a little “longer”
So as my boss, be prepared to lead by example, honey
And I’ll know we have the account once I see you come in “walking funny”
It’s great to know that you plan on following this policy through
Because we have some other big gay business clients who are fond of you, too
It’s also great to know that as a boss you will lead by example
Because the next gay guy weighs about 450, and you might get trampled
I might be able to have dinner with some clients with wine, food, and ice cream
As long as YOU can handle the other stuff…and be willing to take one…for the “team”
 
Aw man, I just heard the organization is relocating to “Fire Island”… The Phantom Poet

David Banner, Ciara, Vickie Winans, The Williams Brothers, Chuck Brown, Janet Jackson, James Ingram and Yolanda Adams onstage with Brett Jolly (photo taken from Sister II Sister magazine)

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