Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: The Monica Lewinsky story)

I just saw an online story whereby Monica Lewinsky planned to pen an essay in Vanity Fair magazine about her relationship with former President Bill Clinton. For those of you who don’t recall, it was her testimony that almost drove President Clinton from office through impeachment. Ms. Lewinskly was probably the most famous intern in history when she gave an “oral dissertation” to the President (“Sorry”). She had saved the dress with the stains on  it and never cleaned it just in case she would need to prove something, which eventually did happen.  In her recent interview, she talks about how she had suicidal thoughts, about how she was labeled unfairly and humiliated by the media. She also claimed that her boss did take advantage of her but yet they were two “consenting” adults in this affair. Personally, I have a problem with this last statement. If he took advantage of her then how could she be consenting? Other than that, I can understand where she is coming from. She wants to vindicate her past and possibly help others who might come across the same thing in the future. From what I recall, she was a social media target for the press and she was ridiculed from her situation with the President to her weight. She did engage in inappropriate behavior, but the important thing to note here was that she was “not alone.” As President, I believe Clinton deserves more of the brunt of blame than Lewinsky did. He was in a position of power and authority. As a leader and a married man, he did not have to give into temptation. He could have just said “No.” After the scandal broke, a “lot” of people were trying to stop his reputation from shattering, so rather than blame him they instead attacked Ms. Lewinsky. Mr. Clinton is the one who lied on the stand, he was the one who tried to profess “ignorance of definition when it came to sexual relations” when asked about his dealings with her, and he is the one whose  reputation managed to remain intact after all this was through. Ms. Lewinsky could never hold a job afterwards because of her “history” and was maligned all throughout her silent years of saying nothing. Now, she is coming out, and she claims she is burying the beret and burning the blue stained dress. If that dress has still not been washed by now, it may have wandered off on its own. I do agree that history has treated Lewinsky unfairly. She was 23 at the time and in an atmosphere that had to be somewhat “overwhelming.” Do I think she will regain her dignity from coming out? “Probably not.”  However, if she can get “paid” from this and at least tell her side then there is a positive to be gained from it. Back then, the fact that she saved the dress with the stains on it meant that she actually “anticipated” having to testify in court about the affair. If not, then what other purpose could she gain from saving it? Will this story have any effect on Hillary’ Clinton’s run for President? I don’t think this will be a factor “at all.” While Hillary stood by her cheating husband, that does not mean that she engaged in any wrongdoings. We need to leave both stories as “separate entities.” Yes, while we all can still “poke fun” at the situation (She went down in history as the world’s most famous intern….oops….I should not have said “went down”) the fact is that she should be allowed to explain her side of the story in an attempt to regain  her dignity. Bill Clinton came through all of this “smelling like a rose.” Why can’t she be able to do the same thing? Being a man of authority doesn’t make him “any” less guilty than she was. Of course, this is only my opinion, and as always, I welcome the views of others. Hope your day is magical, and I wish  you the very best that life has to offer.

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Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic “Did Robin Thicke steal “Blurred Lines” from Marvin Gaye?”)

Recently I had a discussion with someone over Robin Thicke’s hit song “Blurred Lines.” I believe it has been listed as the heavy favorite for “song of the year.” However, I saw several news stories that question whether or not Thicke actually “stole” the song from the late Marvin Gaye. The articles I read claimed that parts of Marvin Gaye’s song “Got to give it up” were actually “sampled” by Thicke for his song. In one of the articles, there was even an alleged “expert” who said that the “bass lines” were in fact stolen from Gaye. I am not sure what classifies someone as an “expert” in identifying parts of songs, but I would like to say that I have something called “perfect pitch.” With perfect pitch, I can hear certain elements of songs and know the parts without having to pick up an instrument to verify it. My perfect pitch allows me to play just about “everything” without having to practice “anything.”  I do not like it when “anyone” decides to steal music from another, although it happens a lot more than you might think in this industry. I have played (and even sung) BOTH songs many times, and “know” the similarities  and differences between the two tunes too well. First, I will say that the tempo and the drum beats are “extremely” similar. However, that much is “not enough” by itself to constitute any plagiarism on Thicke’s part. The melody lines of each song are “no where near close” to each other, so in that regard there is also no theft. The lyrics are definitely not the same, so Thicke is safe there as well. The chord pattern/structure is also “not” identical by any means. The two songs are also in two different keys. If you played them both concurrently in the same key at the same time, they would still “not” match at all. Finally, no matter what the so called “experts” say about the songs, the bass lines are “absolutely” different. I have played the bass lines to both, and I promise there is “no” bass similarity between them. The styles of the two songs are “definitely” similar, but copying a style is NOT the same as copying the “song.” I didn’t detect “ANY” sampling of Gaye’s tune “Got to give it up” (unless, they sampled the drum part, which wouldn’t make much sense, because similar drum tracks “can” be used for different songs). I have heard that Thicke is actually suing Gaye’s family over whether or not they believe there is copyright infringement. The fact that “he is suing them” means that even “he” realizes the closeness in the way his tune sounds. When I work with artists to put a song together, I often ask them to give me a particular song and artist whose style they would like me to “emulate.” Emulating a style is not the same as stealing a song. Most times to emulate a song I would focus on a drum beat and tempo that would be similar to the track and I would focus on the “sound quality” of each instrument, but I absolutely would “not” steal any aspect of the music. To me, I do believe that Thicke wanted to have a song that copied the “style” of Marvin Gaye’s song. I have no doubt about that in my mind, because when you hear it, the style is absolutely there. However, when it comes to “individualized” components of the song, the similarities end there. I have no idea what will come out in court, but I do know this much: Robin Thicke did “NOT” steal Marvin Gaye’s song “Got to Give it up.” If he did, I would be the very FIRST to say it. However, judges in courts may not have the same ear as me and good lawyers have ways of “twisting the truth.” Time will tell on this one. I guess we will have no other alternative but to “hurry up”… and “wait.” Hope your day is a great one.

 

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Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Discrimination of full figured women)

Why is it that big women are always singled out and treated unfairly?, You never hear a group of skinny women coming together because they are skinny. There are some big beautiful women who are well proportion, not sick with the health problems  and full of confidence .  They have all the tools a petite size woman have yet a little more . When it comes to the music industry, they are hand picked then forced to lose weight. These women are queens with most of the talent and are considered rich in other parts of the country but in America why don’t they embrace the full figured women.?

I remember talking to a music promoter from Atlantic City who once told me that he could “fill the seats” in a theater if he promoted a very attractive well built woman singer with a “sub par” voice but he could not sell “any” tickets if the female vocalist was “heavy set and plain” but with an incredible voice.  He said that this was just the way of the music industry (in other words, the industry is extremely “visual”). You might be an awesome vocalist, but if you don’t look “appealing enough” then agents don’t want to take the chance on “booking you.” When I mentioned this to a female friend the other day, she was “totally outraged” by this. She told me that big women are exceptionally attractive and that all the experts who say they can’t promote big women are wrong. She actually got upset with me until I had to let her know that I was only “quoting THEM and NOT myself.” For the record, I agree. There are MANY big and beautiful women out there that carry themselves “VERY” well and in “my eyes” they ARE very attractive. However, if an advertiser or promoter is saying that he can’t sell anything with a plus sized figure, then what can you do about that? I do believe there is an answer. It took an adjustment period for people to accept Stevie Wonder even though he was blind. Teddy Pendergrass was able to change how some think when it came to watching people with disabilities. Right now we ALL are getting more accustomed to seeing more gay people in the spotlight, especially now that legislation is changing in favor of them. There IS some sort of prejudice when it comes to big women, but the best way to combat that is through the proper “promotion.” In the  music industry Aretha Franklin had to lose weight. Vesta Williams was told to lose weight. Jennifer Hudson had to lose weight. Christina Aguilara was told to lose weight. Beyonce has her own personal trainer, but if she gained an enormous amount of weight would the industry still view her the same? Through promotion we can actually put big and beautiful women “in the spotlight” and show the world just how remarkable they are. All it takes is “one” big and beautiful representative to make that difference. Most times if a big woman is being featured, she usually has a tendency to wear outfits that seem to “cover up” certain body areas that most other slimmer women will show. To me, that means that she is “apprehensive” about showing her “own” body, and if she is apprehensive then it only “adds” to the stigma that some people already have about big women. I would like to see a big and beautiful woman not only come out, but be prepared to “showcase” herself JUST like the slimmer models would do. If we are going to promote how sexy big and beautiful woman are, then at least be prepared psychologically to compete on the “same” level. For the record, I am NOT promoting nudity, but if you are going to show sexiness like the smaller girls, then at least “go all out” like they do. How can you expect others to see you as sexy if you cannot see yourself that way? In my area there have been “big and beautiful” pageants where contestants will wear swimwear. If big is beautiful, then just show it and don’t try to hide it. If we can show that there is indeed a demand for more “big and beautiful” women out there then it just might make all the difference. You can change the industry through your monetary support of it. They need money in order to survive, and there is strength in numbers. If we all support a full figured woman then they industry cannot and “will not” ignore that. Thank you for submitting this intriguing topic, and I hope you have a great day.

 

Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

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Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (More personal celebrity stories)

I have been asked to share more “celebrity” moments, so today I hope you don’t mind hearing some of my stories. I think for today I will deal with the “celebrity embarrassment” issues. These I rarely talk about because for the celebrity they might be considered “very personal.” I will start with a man who used to sing lead for the hit group “Tower of Power.” His name is Lenny Williams and he sang lead on many of their tunes like “There’s only so much oil in the ground.” I was in Miami Florida and on a show where Lenny was also performing. I had not seen any recent pictures of Lenny so it had been awhile, but he was a vibrant young looking gentleman from what I remembered. When his band entered the hotel lobby we did like most bands do and welcomed them to the gig. Lenny’s group was great and social. When I talked to them I said, “I would really love to meet Lenny. When is he coming in?” The gentleman “right next” to me then reached out his hand and said “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I was really embarrassed, because I had absolutely “no idea” that Lenny’s appearance had changed so much and that he was standing “right next” to me. Needless to say, I tried  to play it all off but it was “very” awkward. In another story, I was performing at the RadioOne 25th anniversary gala a couple years back. There were a LOT of stars in attendance, such as Jay-Z, Beyonce, Janet Jackon, P. Diddy, Natalie Cole and many, many more. Aretha Franklin, was there to sing an opera number. For those of you who never saw her live (before her weight loss) Aretha was “extremely top heavy.” When I say extremely I mean it. A lot of times when she performed she would wear outfits that were “somewhat revealing.” I believe she did this so that her lungs would have an easier time singing, but the truth is I don’t know for sure. Anyway, she sat in the very first row, and we were up on a “very high” level stage. We had an visual angle that allowed us to see down on everyone. That evening Aretha wore a VERY low cut white outfit that looked to be very revealing with her cleavage. Me, along with the rest of the guys in the band, were playing onstage and didn’t think much of it, until she reached down to adjust something on her “shoe.” From the angle we had, we managed to see something of Aretha’s that we were “not supposed” to see. I looked at my other guitar player and said “Did you see that?” He replied by saying, “How could anyone possibly miss that?” Needless to say, I really wish we had “not” seen that. To this day, I can’t get that image out of my head. In another story, we performed at an event called the Mid Atlantic Emmy awards. On this show the guest celebrity was none other than Oprah Winfrey. When she emerged from around the curtain, the cameras and the lights “started rolling.” Since I was in the band, our setup was directly behind her, so when she came onstage she said “Hi” to me and stood right in front to give her speech. For those of you who have ever had any experience with camera and stage lights, you know that these lights can be “really” intense. Well, since I was positioned “directly behind” Oprah I happened to notice something. She wore and “off yellow-gold” outfit that had a little bit of “sheerness” to it. The only problem with this is that when focused light shines on an outfit like this, it can reveal things that you might not want revealed. I turned to my drummer, Johnnie Croom, and asked him, “Do you see what I see?” He said “Yes, I do believe that we are now looking at Oprah’s underwear.” The light shone “through” her outfit and she “really” should have worn a slip with it.  We could “clearly” see her legs and her undergarments through her dress. I wasn’t sure how to react to this, but I just pretended for the rest of the evening that nothing was wrong. As a musician I have seen a lot, so I just chalked this experience up to being “another one of those moments.” I do hope that no one was offended by today’s Daily Thought. I only wanted to share some of my experiences with my career and I was asked to do so. Periodically I will share more stories as long as no one minds (I have a LOT of stories). Thank you again for your support and I hope you have an awesome weekend.

 

Got a topic? You can contact me via email at Brettjolly@aol.com or at Brett@Love-notes.co (You can also send me a friend request on Facebook or on Skype… username Brettjolly1). Thank you and have a great day.

 

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Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (How to handle boys that want to date your daughters)

Had an interesting topic on Facebook the other day. My daughter had posted a picture of someone wearing one of those “promotional” t-shirts that had a caption on it. This particular shirt was titled “Rules for dating my daughter” and of course, it featured some funny tidbits like “get a job” and “I hate you” and “I will hurt you.”  My daughter than asked me and her mother “What size shirt do you want?” One young man decided to chime in and respond to it by saying that he doesn’t appreciate fathers who try to intimidate dates. He said that it will never work against him and he implied that he would have no problems at all standing up to the parent if this situation should ever arise. His exact words were “Let them try.” He also said that if the parents had “properly trained” their daughter well enough then she would know not to bring home someone who is disrespectful. Now, normally I leave certain comments alone on Facebook. I realize that everyone has a right  to say whatever he or she wants and most times it is not worth the effort to engage someone, however, in this instance I felt as though his comments were a direct reflection on me. I responded by letting him know that no human being is perfect, so everyone is prone to make mistakes. A young man could be VERY courteous and respectful during the beginning and his “inner demon” could easily surface later on in the relationship. Ted Bundy was a perfect gentlemen to ALL the women he dated until he killed them all. No amount of training can make anyone “perfect” enough to be able to determine the actions of others. I also had to let him know that I was a very proud parent of my kids, and if “ANYONE” abuses or disrespects them, then it will NOT be their “fear nor intimidation” that I seek… It will be their “complete and utter annihilation.” Proper training should not just be on the parents of the girl, but rather on the boy as well. I also let him know that even though I liked the shirt it was NOT reflective of me. I have no desire to intimidate any young man who wants to see my daughter and I only saw the message on the shirt as a moment of levity for me. The young man responded that he just had a problem with the message on the t-shirt because it automatically assumed that all young men are disrespectful when it comes to dating the daughters of parents. I told him that there are a LOT of t-shirts with “tainted messages posted” that promote messages of that nature. Manufacturers have the right to promote any message they want, but that doesn’t mean that their messages have to have an effect on us. If you “do right” then you “are right.” The best way to get respect is to just “be respectful.” One day he may become a parent to a girl and then be faced with the same issues. When that day arrives I hope he has the fortitude to realize that ANY proud parent is going to be there for his or her child. For me, that will ALWAYS be the case until the day I leave this realm. Needless to say, the conversation ended with him posting a “like” on my final comment. Hey, during my years I had to meet many parents of girls I wanted to date, and I was respectful to them ALL (and the date as well). If you are mentally prepared for confrontation, then that is when confrontation usually happens.  I already know that there is “no way in Hell” this young boy will ever date my daughter. She didn’t like his message to start with, but hopefully I planted something in his mind to help him with any “other” date he may have. We ALL can learn from our experiences, and isn’t that what life should be about? I hope you don’t mind me posting this today, and please have a great one. Come on in, Phantom Poet:

When it comes to your children dating, it is proper to give consideration
Even though some young men have issues with intimidation
They come in with the perspective that they are prepared to fight
When all they need to really do is just respect and “act right”
So that you don’t end up getting yourself into a whole lot of hot water
Remember to treat your date the way you would if she were your own daughter
Because some young boys don’t want to be perceived as passive or weak
But if you mess up with my daughter, it won’t be your “fear” that I seek
No, for me there is a whole new perspective to this equation
Because I will seek nothing less than your “complete and utter annihilation”
If you abuse or disrespect her, then there is no longer a reason to debate
I may be older, but that means my aim for “shooting” is GREAT!
Men should ALWAYS be respectful to a lady whenever a date calls
And those men who abuse or disrespect should be hung by their “ballistics”
And for the parents, we only want to alleviate any worry or doubt
As long as you act right, then there should be nothing to worry about
So in closing this poem, there is one last little message that I “got”
“Do unto others as you would have them to unto you… or get SHOT!”

“Said lovingly by the Phantom Poet”

 

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If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brettjolly@aol.com. You can also send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1. Thank you and have a great day.

 

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: Love by statistic?)

This past weekend I had to do a video/picture shoot for a show depicting “cougars.” For those of you who don’t know, “cougars” are older women who only want to date “younger” men. Throughout the taping I had to listen to why these women are so jaded against older men (and try not to develop a “complex” in the process… I was the “only” man at this shooting). I listened and kept quiet through all the “man-bashing” but you KNOW I had to write about it today. Should age really make a difference in a relationship? I say it depends on what you are looking for. Those people who love only according to “statistic” often find trouble down the road. For instance, an older women can find herself a much younger man but that won’t guarantee that they both will be “suitable” for each other. Of course, the same can be said for an older  man, or  a rich man, or a well built man, etc. What I feel should happen is that we should love the “person” first, and then “accept” whatever condition that comes “with” him or her. There have been times where I have heard people say that they want to marry someone with money. What about having a compatible personality?  The interesting part about the discussions yesterday was that most of the women were okay with the fact that they might not be able to form a long lasting relationship with a younger man (which means that the sexual part is what they were after most). If that is what works for you, then by all means “go for it.” However, love by “statistic” doesn’t really amount to love, but rather “gratification.” We all have needs, and I would never want to judge anyone for getting those needs met (as long as it is done “legally” and “morally”).   If a woman wants a guy just because he is “younger” then should she be surprised if the guy who is only into her for the “sex?” Sometimes we dictate our own circumstances through our own actions.  The conversations these women had should be make for great television, even though it may not make for a great lifestyle. If you are more concerned with a mate’s circumstances than you are with the mate, then that says a lot about you.  You should love from the heart, but you “gratify” from all other areas.  I only hope that most people find themselves “able” to “tell the difference.” Enter, Phantom Poet:

When it comes to loving someone I think we all need to be realistic
Do you really want to get caught up in loving according to statistic?
I realize that many older women have had their hearts broken again and again
But do they really think that the answers lay with “dating  younger men?
Don’t get me wrong, men are just as guilty when they date young women too
But most of them realize that after all their bill payments are overdue
A woman might have it in her mind that she wants to be with a thug, see?
And some men will marry a rich woman even if she is considered ugly
If you love someone according to statistic, then you might find this to be true
You could be using your mate but not even realizing that your mate could be using “you”
The best way to alleviate this problem is by just doing right from the start
When you fall in love with someone, just make sure you do it from the heart
That way your love and be true, and you can set a genuine tone
And just remember that the love you save, just might be your own…

“Yet another riveting display from the Phantom Poet”

 

If you have a topic that you would like to feature for my Daily Thought, please feel free to email me at Brettjolly@aol.com or Brett@Love-notes.co (or you can send me a friend request on Skype at Brettjolly1) Thank you and have a great day.

 

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage together

 

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Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (Topic: “Abused friend”)

I am concerned about my friend who was in a long relationship with the wrong man. Her boyfriend was controlling, and obsessive too. After more than a decade of dating, they got married. She admitted he has been verbally and physically abusive, so she asked him to leave. He packed his things and has left.  I want to help, I think she needs consoling? Is it enough to just ask her how she is and hope she’ll confide in me, or will that just invoke anguish, maybe even cause her to regret having ever told me? I’m afraid it’s not over. I’m worried he’ll return for revenge and do something awful; something regrettable.

This is a very sensitive situation, and it is important to handle it with care. Your friend might need consoling but the cure for what ails her probably runs much deeper than that. If she has been abused, then she could have problems “below the surface” that you would not be able to detect. Chances are that if he was controlling and abusive towards her he was probably that way for the full duration of their relationship (If they were together for over a decade then that could have long lasting effects). No one can tell you for sure what her reaction will be should you reach out to her, but that shouldn’t stop you from initiating the action. The fact that she was even “able” to summon the strength to ask him to leave is something positive, because most victims of severe abuse are usually too afraid of their abusers to take that step. She may need an outlet or a shoulder to lean on. A decade of abuse is not something that she should just “keep” inside. There are women’s abuse groups that can help her cope with her situation but it is imperative that she knows of their existence. Talk to her, but mostly importantly “listen” to her, because if she felt victimized by this man then she probably needs to vent a “lot.” If you detect “anything” in her conversation that feels “troubling” then you may need to contact the “Women’s abuse groups” yourself and ask for assistance. It is admirable for you to want to help but remember that you can only go so far with her. If she refuses to confide in you then there won’t be much else you can do, but there should be nothing wrong with at least “reaching out” to her. Good luck to you, and to her… Here is the Phantom Poet with his OWN remedy for this man:

A busted nose, a black eye, a fragile character and a busted lip
These are just some of the things that can happen in an abusive relationship
There is no excuse for a man to engage in abuse that is excessive
And a woman should not be with a man who is controlling or possessive
A man should always be respectful to a woman whenever love calls
And if he is abusive in “any” way towards her, then he should be hung by his “neck”
There are women who have been damaged by these relationships and many have fears
These men should be locked up in jail with big 300 pound men who haven’t “had any” in years
That way these men can feel the fear of women and know how they live
Because in jail it is “NOT” better to “receive” than it is to “give”
Because if you are locked up with a big inmate then your story will begin to tell
You will develop an “open mind” towards women’s rights (with OTHER open areas as well)
Because if you engage in abusive behavior that causes a women to holler or scream
Be prepared to find a “new” lover in jail who is “much” bigger than you named “Kareem”
So while you are getting “abused” over and over again while waiting and draining all your appeals
You will finally get to realize that what you did was wrong, and now you know how a woman feels…

“Oh no! NOT the 3:00 am rise and shine moment again”… The Phantom Poet

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Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly onstage

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