Love is a great thing, but in many situations people love without thinking. It is one thing to love what you “visibly see.” Physical attraction is important and most relationships at least “start” that way. However, there should be much more involved. For instance, if you want a long term romance, then you need to have “long term vision.” To give an example, imagine a young couple just starting a relationship. The things they see in each other while they are young will not be the same things they see in each other as they grow older. The flat stomach that a young man might have now could easily turn into a pot belly after a certain age. The cute figure that a young lady may have now could expand rapidly after simply having children. As we all grow, we all change. Some can change for the better, and some can change for the worst. Also, mentally and spiritually we change as well. How is it possible for a couple to see these changes during the early stages? In most situations it is not easy to detect. However, the best way to deal with the future changes is to be involved with your “best friend.” As strange as that may sound, if your relationship lasts a long time then your best friend might be all you have left of your young encounter. In order to achieve this it is important to “learn and know” your partner. If you expect your partner to be “perfect” then you have already doomed your romance, because “no one is perfect.” When you accept a person’s faults then you are in a better position to love someone. Of course, not all faults can be handled correctly. There will always be things that you will need to work through. As long as “the heart is willing and the brain is knowing” then your chances should be great. One thing you can do to make your romance last longer is to avoid arguing when you are fatigued and tired. Both of you will be so tired that you won’t hear each other anyway, so the best thing might be to discuss things the next day with a calmer mentality. Also give the benefit of the doubt and trust more. If you feel you need to know what your partner is doing all the time then you are not in a good situation. While it is important to spend time with each other it is also important to give some space so you can miss each other as well. In other words, you don’t have to try to force everything so that you are together 24/7. If your man looks at other women then by all means “let him look.” As long as he is just looking then there shouldn’t be any real harm (and most men will look anyway, whether you want them to or not). If your woman dresses nice and is looked at by other men, that is “not” her fault. She was looking nice when you originally met her, so why should she have to change now? Be secure enough in yourself to accept her as she is. The best way to love someone is by “depending less on what you see and more on what you feel.” If you can do this, then your chances may be enhanced significantly later. Be patient, and be more understanding… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Brett Jolly, Jazz great Wynton Marsalis, and Stan Brisbon