I have either heard or known of couples who broke up “viciously” in their relationships. When I say “viciously” I mean with “absolute hatred in their hearts” (and sometimes these relationships end violently). Their thoughts and actions were pure evil during the breakup process and in most cases it shows who and what they really are. The part that I can’t fathom is that often after the brutal breakup these same 2 people end up reconciling. Why is that? When you know what someone is capable of and you have already experienced the worst, then why put yourself at risk trying to re-establish a bad situation? A friend of mine recently had an experience where his woman got drunk and tried to stab him with a knife. He said that this woman was certifiably crazy and he wanted to get a restraining order against her, and yet today they are back together. I once saw a man about 270 pounds punch a 5 foot 2 woman hard repeatedly in public, and yet when me and other men tried to intercede she refused our help. Recently a couple I knew had a bad argument/fight where clothes were destroyed and the property was intentionally damaged. That couple is now reconciling too. I’m sure we all have heard the line that “love is blind,” but does it have to be deaf and dumb too? Whenever love crosses the line of violence then should it still be considered love? I think a lot of people try to make it work because they are “afraid of admitting failure.” They have probably told their friends about “this great romance” (and some of them probably had prior relationships that failed as well) so they don’t want people to see that they messed up yet again. That might the “absolute worst” reason to try to maintain a bad relationship. I believe it was Maya Angelou who once said “When someone shows you who they truly are, believe them…” For some reason, people hope their loved ones “will change” even though they know in their hearts that they won’t. I am not saying that people cannot change. They do it all the time, but as long as the “trait” is still within them then that behavior can (and at some point usually does) resurface. Then the real question is not about what’s wrong with your lover, but rather what’s wrong with you? We are all human and no one is perfect but you need to keep in mind that many people are now serving jail sentences for their imperfections. Only you can make the determination of what you can stand in your relationship. I once knew of a woman who stuck by her man up until the day he shot and killed her (and then killed himself). That was so tragic. You love with your heart, but you need to think with your mind. When you use them both then chances are good that you won’t become a victim to someone else’s “imperfections.” Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Jill Scott in concert with Brett Jolly on bass guitar behind her