I think just about everyone will at some point in their lives get “the call.” That call is usually from an “ex” of some kind who just wants to have a brief friendly conversation with you (that somehow never turns out to be “brief”). Normally as the conversation goes on they want to talk about the “good times” that you both had together, and if you still manage to stay on the phone with this person long enough then at some point you know you will get “the pitch.” That is when you hear the line “I have missed you.” Keep in mind that this thought “never existed” during the time you both were “angry and breaking up.” Why is it that people realize how nice you were right after the relationship is over and you’re gone? Usually those same conditions that caused your breakup in the first place have not changed, but yet somehow this person feels that dealing with those same conditions will be “much better the second time around.” The truth of the matter is that “without change” you are subject to having history repeat itself and you would only be “reigniting an explosive situation all over again.” I do admit that some people can change for the better. Some people “can and do” learn from their mistakes. However, when you automatically know there is no change in this person, do you dare go back to the same circumstances that caused you so much stress before? Usually “ex’s” because ex’s for a reason… Once you take this person back then people will look at you as though you are “crazy.” The sad part is that they just might “be right.” If someone throws a brick at you and hits you in the head that would be wrong on their part. However, if you decide to give that person another brick to throw at you (after being hit already once), then you are the one who is at fault. How many bricks would it take for you to realize this is NOT a very sound idea? Many people do not always do what we know to be right. That shouldn’t mean that we continue to strive to do wrong. Before taking anyone back in your life, ask yourself if there is “anything significantly different” about this person. If you can’t find any type of reasonable change, then you might want to strongly reconsider any type of reunification. You can do bad all by yourself, and you know that. If you can’t make someone happy, there’s no sense in making the both of your miserable. Find joy with yourself until the right one comes along, and never settle for anything that won’t love you back… Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Teddy Pendergass in concert with Brett Jolly on bass