I had an interesting talk the other day about privacy and love. Some guy on Facebook had posted that if a man doesn’t reveal his phone messages to his lover then that is “cheating.” His concept appeared to be that if you withhold your private messages then that should be classified as “deception.” Naturally, after thinking about it I felt this would be a good topic to address today. First, deception is when you intentionally “mislead or lie” about something. While deception may not be totally honest, it does NOT amount to “cheating.” People can deceive without cheating. Then the question was asked “Why would it be necessary for anyone to hide their phone messages?” I say that if you truly do have “trust and faith” in your relationship then you “should not need or want to know” what is in your lover’s phone. I personally would not want to know about any personal messages in someone else’s phone. As long as I have faith (and until that faith has been tested) I am more than resolved with my loyalty. Then the issue was raised that if you are honest should you “volunteer” your phone to your lover? To volunteer is to give “willfully.” If you are “forced” to volunteer, then it is “no longer volunteering.” I can’t speak for every relationship (and I most certainly don’t intend to) but once you put in place that your partner “has to report everything” to you then it is no longer about love, but rather “control.” When you try to exhibit control in a relationship you can often expect bumps in the road. Naturally, if you have “reasons” to suspect cheating or infidelity then you are definitely entitled to find out more. That’s a given. However, it would be better to wait until “something has actually happened” rather than to just go off on wild random assumptions (because anyone can make assumptions, and once you are proven wrong it automatically erodes the trust in any relationship). If you have a lover who “misinterprets things easily” then you might want to exhibit “caution” when revealing any personal items. It is absolutely true when they say that some people “can’t handle the truth.” People will argue more about “what they think” is happening rather than what is “really accurate.” Each relationship is different and it is important you know what your lover “can and can’t” handle. Infidelity should only count “when it has actually happened” and not just when you “imagine it.” The “benefit of the doubt” is always a beautiful thing. If you are one of those people who feels that your partner has to divulge everything to you I hope you take a minute to at least consider how that may feel to your partner. Prison wardens should only be found “in prison.” Love =Faith (Take note that control should not be in this equation). Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Melba Moore in concert with Brett Jolly on bass