My friend who I record with on occasion called me yesterday. For years I had known him and his wife. They had a great home together, and even though I often saw small clashes between them I just figured that they were only little “imperfections” that they would manage to overcome. In this call he told me that he had left his wife, and the reasons shocked me. He said that she had stolen money from him and tried to move away before on several occasions (only to eventually end up coming back again once the money ran low). He then told me that he bought her 2 cars that she used to cheat on him with. He said that his friends told him that during a time when she claimed to be someplace else she was secretly holed up in one of those sleazy motels with another married man who was cheating on “his” wife. He told me that he still loves her but his conscience will not allow him to take her back. It was him who decided to leave the house but he stopped paying the bills and now the status of the house is in jeopardy. She can’t afford the house by herself and has since moved out. He does not want to go back to it because of the memories he had in there. I realize that there are “always 2 sides” to every story, and I’m sure that what she has to say will differ from what my friend says. However, when I think of all that my friend “said” he went through I had to ask him this question, “If this was going on for so long then why did you wait so long to leave her?” He replied by saying “I was in love and through all the bad things I still figured that maybe we could find a way to still make this work.” However, now he is so resolved to being without her that he even has a new woman in his life (and he says that they plan to wed soon). If your mate steals from you, disrespects you, constantly leaves you and cheats on you, then at what point should you decide to move on? Most men that I know would not have been as lenient on her for what she allegedly did. Most women I know would probably have been even “less” lenient. It is important to be happy in a relationship, but it is also important to know that no one is perfect, therefore no relationship is perfect. While most of us want to see the “best” in people, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can put up with the “worst.” I would rather see someone for the person he or she is rather than try to make people into what I want them to be. While it is important to know the “good side” it is equally as important to know those little “demons” that you feel are existent within your mate. Failure to recognize them will only haunt you “later on.” While I was sad that they broke up, I have to wish them both luck in all their future endeavors. As painful as it can be, sometimes you have to love someone enough to “let them go” if it cannot work. Punishing yourself with dreams that you know can never happen will only make you more depressed. Once you have given your all, then it may be time to find someone else who will appreciate someone like you. Everyone deserves to be happy… Thank you for reading my Daily Thought, and as always I wish you the very best that life has to offer.
Jerry Butler and Brett Jolly in concert