Brett Jolly’s Daily Thought (“Some ideas to feel secure in a relationship”)

Relationships are somewhat like roller coasters. You will often find that you have as many “ups” as you have “downs.” Even the “best” of couples will have “disagreements” from time to time. I have seen many couples “fight” over things that I didn’t think were even worth the battle. While I have never considered myself to be an expert on the game of “love and happiness” I still think there are certain things that a couple should keep in mind to keep things cool. For one, unless you have experienced something to “shatter” your security, I think couples should have faith in each other. That means that you should never “expect the worst” each and every time your lover is not within your sight or able to contact you for a small period of time (naturally if you have not heard from your lover in a day or two, that is a VERY extreme reason to have doubt). If your lover has been good then he or she should at least be given the “benefit of the doubt.” Also, if you are one of those who expect consistent accountability from your mate, there needs to be definition as to how “far” that accountability is expected to go. For instance, it is one thing to ask how your day was. It is another to immediately demand that your lover divulge each an every thing that he or she is doing (or has done). For people who don’t like to be controlled or constantly interrogated, that can be a major turn off. It is also important to be understanding of your lover’s responsibilities. If your lover has a new job (or some other new obligation) then you should not have the same expectations when it comes to “availability and accountability.” I have seen couples get upset when they can’t reach their mates and they actually KNOW they are at work. One of the WORST things people can do in a relationship is allow “others” into it. When you confide in an outsider’s opinion (especially when that outsider has either ulterior motives or just highly opinionated) it is no longer about the “two” of you. That means you are trying to please a third party who in most cases shouldn’t even be involved in your relationship to begin with. Finally, fights will happen. If you can, try to limit your fights to times when both people are not emotional, stressed or exhausted. A lot of times when couples try to debate a point when under these conditions they rarely hear each other or comprehend what the other is saying. There is nothing wrong with waiting until “cooler heads” prevail. Last night I witnessed a couple arguing over things that to me sounded meaningless, but that didn’t stop them from going at it. It is okay to agree to disagree, and then pick up after rest the next day. I hope the couple from last night finds a way to mend fences, because we all do need each other to survive. This is only my opinion, and I have no problems if anyone else disagrees. Thank you for checking out my Daily Thought, and as always, i wish the very best that life has to offer you today.


Skype: Brettjolly1

Aretha Franklin and Brett Jolly